"I think I'm going to go on a diet." Cuddy said as she grabbed a glass of water.
House looked up from his bowl of Froot Loops in awe. "Why? Diets are dumb they just make the slow march to the grave more miserable."
"New Year's resolution." Cuddy shrugged
"You're kidding right? You don't have an ounce of fat on you."
"Sweet if you to say, but I've gained some holiday weight."
House stopped mid bite, she could see the gears in his head turning. "You never gained holiday weight before."
"I also didn't live with a man who considers saturated fats as a food group before."
"When was your last period?"
Cuddy shook her head in disgust, "oh for god sakes House, I'm not pregnant."
"That's not an answer."
"I'm not pregnant!" Cuddy said as she left the kitchen in a huff to shower after her yoga routine.
House sat silently, no longer having the appetite for food. He went through the past month or so in his mind, based on his math she was two weeks or so late.
What was he going to do? He lied. Not surprising considering it is him, but it was a big lie and he told it to Cuddy. The problem was he didn't know it was a lie when he said it. He doesn't want another kid, he really didn't. He thought he would but now that he has proof, more or less, that Cuddy is pregnant his anxiety returned and he realized it was the last thing he wanted. He hated the idea of siblings, they fight cry and yell all the time, not to mention he'd have to deal with being pooped and peed on every three hours. Even more terrifying, the kid would be part his DNA, and he was a horrible child to raise. His brain was so focused contemplating every possible downside to having another child, he didn't even notice that Cuddy left for work.
At work, House was hiding. Avoidance was always how he handled issues, even with a family he was still a loner at heart. He followed hospital policy to the letter to ensure Cuddy would not bother him, but he was so focused on Cuddy he neglected Wilson.
"What're you doing?" Wilson said as he caught him in the bathroom
"Peeing."
Wilson shook his head lightly. "You're avoiding everyone! You told your team to handle the case themselves, you've been doing your clinic hours and I already had lunch and a snack, you weren't around."
"Been busy."
"You're never too busy to steal food." Wilson argued putting his hands on his hips
"Big breakfast." House said as he tried to leave but Wilson blocked his path. "Do you mind?" House asked growing increasingly more frustrated
"House, I'm worried about you."
"Get out of my way." He growled as he pushed past his friend. He wanted to tell Wilson, but Wilson will tell Cuddy and he can't have that, he would need to deal with this alone.
House came home late, even for him late. He wanted to make sure Cuddy would be sound asleep by the time he came home. When he got in bed, his body couldn't sleep. His mind was racing and refused to shut off, the problem was the more he thought about it, the more certain he was that he didn't want another kid. He decided to go for a bike ride to clear his head. After about an hour on the road he was closer to the hospital than home and decided to stay there. He's slept in his office before accidentally, Cuddy wouldn't be suspicious.
Cuddy awoke to find the bed empty, again. It was the third night in a row House neglected to come home. It didn't bother her, she knew he obsessed over his puzzles. As she walked into the hospital lobby and got her morning updates she discovered that House's case was solved yesterday and he was fulfilling his clinic hours. It made her heart sink, he had no reason to spend the night in the hospital unless he was avoiding her.
She slowly made her way to the fourth floor where House was diligently doing charting on his computer, another red flag.
"What's wrong?"
"Huh?"
"I know you're avoiding everyone more than usual. Especially me, you only follow rules when you're upset or did something really, really bad. So what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Is it about the pregnancy?"
House's face suddenly lost all its color as he turned to face her. "You're pregnant?" He whispered, too scared to hear the words himself as if it would make it official.
She nodded slowly, "turns out you were right." She said as she tossed the positive stick towards him that caused a clatter on his glass desk.
House just stared at it, "false positive?" He more of begged than asked.
Cuddy could feel herself on the verge of tears but didn't let it show. "You... you don't want the kid, do you?" She asked softly.
House just shook his head, "I thought I did. But, no. I don't want a kid. It's nothing against you I just don't like siblings, why do we have to change anything? One is enough, one is perfect."
"So, if it were up to you?" She asked trailing off
"I don't know."
"That's not an option."
"I can't do this." House said shamefully looking back towards his computer, as if having the pregnancy test out of sight would make it go away.
"Can't do what?" Cuddy asked, the worry creeping into her voice.
"I don't know!" House yelled, louder than he intended. "I never wanted kids. They're a nightmare! They cry, scream, poop, pee and require a lot of attention. I got lucky with Rachel, she's smart and is old enough to understand things. I can't handle babies Cuddy. I don't think I would have been able to handle Rachel as a baby! They can't understand anything and are dumb as holy hell! I can't do that."
"House..." Cuddy soothes taking steps closer to him, "You're the most incredible man I have ever known. Having a kid that's half you is a blessing!"
House just scoffed, "Yeah half miserable bastard. Every parent's dream."
Cuddy stokes his hair softly, "You're not miserable with me."
"True. But I was for years before you. I told you this before, who you are matters. You're designing a kid you seriously want a kid with-"
"With you?" She asked slightly annoyed, "I wouldn't have had all that unprotected sex if I didn't want a kid with you."
"I figured you assumed that you couldn't get pregnant, it's not like it was a strong possibility."
"House. You're an amazing father."
"To Rachel maybe. This fetus is a different story. I don't know how to take care of a baby."
"House, no one does, if ordinary people can figure it out surely the world's greatest diagnostician can."
House sat silently. "I... I'm not good with kids. So many things can go wrong and so little can go right. How the hell are we supposed to deal with this?"
"One day at a time." She soothed. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder which he brushed away, "I really need to be alone."
Cuddy could feel her heart burning and the knot in her throat growing. "Avoidance won't make this go away. You need to deal with this, last time you flipped out about something big you took Vicodin!" She was angry and annoyed, but as soon as the words came out of her mouth regret soared through her body.
House just took a deep breath, "that's low. Even for you." He got up and left the room leaving Cuddy standing there, eyes glued to her shoes. He couldn't imagine what he'd say if he stayed.
House was steaming, his blood practically boiling. She knew he was an addict and he was trying who the hell did she think she was throwing that in his face? But what really made him mad was the fact that she was right. He never had good coping skills and they've only gotten worse without the use of drugs or other dangerous activities.
Cuddy was curled up on the couch, missing the scent of House as she watched a movie, trying desperately to distract herself until he came home. She hasn't seen him since this morning and it was almost 10:30 at night. Her eyes would drift to the clock more often than she wanted them to, as she counted the minutes since he has been gone. Her mind was panicked that he was out scoring Vicodin and high off his ass at Wilson's or god knows where else. She heard the keys jingle against the lock and she sat up, preparing herself for the worst-case scenario.
"I didn't think you'd still be up." He said softly as he kicked off his shoes.
"where were you?"
"playing poker with Wilson."
She wanted to ask if he was on drugs but she knew it was not a good time. "Want to watch a movie? We can watch a gory horror film, or real housewives."
House plopped onto the couch and faced Cuddy, "I have been thinking… siblings suck. That is my view. But before Rachel I thought all kids sucked, I was wrong about Rachel sucking, so I'm probably wrong about siblings sucking."
Cuddy chuckled, "that's one way to put it. House, an unplanned pregnancy is scary, but you've already done the worst part. Raising a two or three-year-old is harder than a baby."
House nodded and then faced the TV. "What the hell are you watching?" He asked, implying the conversation was over.
"I am watching a movie, House. Are you okay about everything?"
"yes."
"I'm sorry for-"
"don't be." He cut her off, "you were right. I don't handle big problems well."
"Yes, but that doesn't excuse what I said."
"It's not like you lied. It was a statement of fact. Last time something big happened I relapsed. I was at Wilson's I calmed down it's fine."
Cuddy snuggled into him.
"And the answer is no by the way." He said as she looked up at him, "I didn't take any drugs. Except for alcohol."
"Every dress I try on makes me look fat!" Cuddy complained to Julia
"Lisa, you're six months pregnant. You're glowing!" She assured as Cuddy looked slightly upset in the mirror.
"I just never expected to be walking down the aisle looking like a parade float." She complained.
"I'm willing to bet that Greg doesn't care as long as it is you walking toward him."
"Yeah." She sighed her eyes still glued to the mirror.
"What is Rachel wearing?" Julia asked, trying to get Cuddy's mind off the baby weight.
"A white dress with a blue sash."
"Cute!"
As Cuddy emerged wearing yet another dress, Julia couldn't contain her excitement, "that's the one!" She exclaimed, "you look fantastic."
It was a flowing white dress with a silver sash that extenuated her curves.
"has Greg been married before?"
"No."
"Does he know that you have?"
"Yes."
House and Rachel were home playing with Charlie and watching movies when Cuddy emerged.
"Where's Julia?" House asked without turning around. It always amazed her how he did that.
"Went home."
"Got a dress?"
"Yeah, ready to try cake?"
Rachel jumped up in excitement, "Yay cake!" She screamed.
House and Rachel dug into the cake samples not really taking it too seriously, while Cuddy made a list of the pros and cons of each slice. At the end, House slammed Rachel's head into the piece of cake causing her to erupt in laughter as she kissed his cheek, smearing cake all over his face.
"Guys, please. This is a nice place." Cuddy argued.
"Mom's hormonal again." House whispered in Rachel's ear causing Cuddy to give House a piercing glare.
He quickly looked away pretending not to notice. House explained to Rachel that Cuddy would be moody, and to not take things to personally, and although true, it made Cuddy annoyed. Rachel understood that whenever House said 'hormonal' he meant mom is acting crazy.
Rachel got a first glimpse at this when Cuddy came home from work, tired, to find the house a mess. Clean laundry was left in a pile to wrinkle, including her nice work clothes, dishes were left in the sink and on the counter and House and Rachel were just playing video games with snacks and drinks surrounding them oblivious to the mess they caused. Normally this didn't bother Cuddy, House's clothes were always wrinkled, and normally he was good about hanging her clothes. He always did the dishes and cleaned up before bed if he was home all day, sometimes they would be done at one in the morning but he'd do them. She just lost it, yelling at both of them and making Rachel upset. House calmed her down by explaining what pregnancy does to the body and that Mom wasn't really mad.
The wedding was a rousing success and Rachel looked adorable walking down the aisle placing flowers. Charlie was also in the wedding due to hours of begging by Rachel. Cuddy promised House the blow job of a lifetime if he kept his mouth shut and didn't say anything during the brief moment of the wedding where the Rabi discussed God.
House and Cuddy entered the limo, and much to House's relief Rachel decided to ride with Julia so she could be with Charlie. Once alone in the car, Cuddy spread House's legs slightly and kneeled in front of him. House's eyes quickly peered to the driver window to make sure no one was watching.
"Here?" He asked almost slightly shocked.
"I might be too tired after dinner." She smiled, "besides, you were a very good boy, you earned your reward."
Cuddy's hand teased him and she took her time undoing his button and zipper. She fumbled inside his boxers to reveal him in full. Before House could even process what was about to happen, her lips were already around him, her tongue caressing his shaft. House moaned softly with pleasure, she wasn't bluffing, it was the blowjob of a lifetime. It made the drive to the reception go by quickly, he came just before they arrived.
After the most painfully long and boring dinner party House could imagine ended, it was time for the fun part, consummating the marriage. Julia took Rachel and Charlie to stay at her house while House and Cuddy went home. They barely made it through the front door before jackets and shirts were tossed off. Cuddy kissed him as they waddled through the hallway, Cuddy fell onto House as they collapsed onto the floor. Not needing to worry about Rachel, they decided to just have sex in the hallway. Cuddy didn't care much for her wedding dress, she wasn't going to be pregnant or married again, so House tearing it off in a desperate need to get her naked just added to the sexual desire. Cuddy straddled him as he slid inside of her wet entrance. She could feel herself wrapping tighter around him as she trusted her hips back and forth, bringing them closer to release with every motion. House's hands caressed her body, helping her move to the rhythm they set, thanks to the blowjob, Cuddy was able to cum before House was. He could feel her sex twitching with ecstasy against him causing his balls to do the same. With one final thrust he was a goner, and their bodies became limp. They stayed like that for a long time, just breathing and laying on the floor in each other's arms. House was happy, it took him more than half of his life but he was finally happy.