A/N Thank you to CalliopeGalaxy for the beta! And thank you to everyone for all the kind reviews.

Chapter 21

The guard talked to Dacey for a few moments before leading them to Jaime's cell. Deirdre was shocked by the sight of Jaime and ignored the man's words to Dacey. Shooting a look at the other woman, Deirdre then rushed to Jaime, crouching down by his side. He was so dirty. He didn't even look like himself and fresh blood trailed his face.

"Cousin, what have they done to you?" She asked and he finally met her gaze. She placed her hand on his cheek gently and he sat up straighter.

"Am I dreaming?" He whispered, reaching out. He touched her hair and then her face. He kissed her fingers, and then he frowned. Jaime said, "You look so much like her. I had forgotten."

She tried to be kind to him. "I don't know what you were dreaming, but I'm real." She smiled gently. "I brought you some food and wine. Let me see to your wound." Handing him the food, she poured some of the water on a rag and washed his face. Once some of the grime was off, he seemed more like himself. He ate like a man starved and she knew that he probably was not feed well as a prisoner.

"Your Grace, forgive me if I do not bow," he said after a moment, with a smirk. "My chains prevent it."

"I'm no more a queen than I am a Stark," she said dismissively. "Who hit you tonight? Are you beat nightly?"

"Courtesy of Lady Stark," he replied before drinking some of the wine. He made a face. "This northern swill tastes like piss."

"You're a prisoner, Jaime. I brought you what I could," she answered, refraining from rebuking him not to complain.

"Who is she?" He asked studying Dacey.

"She's my…friend," Deirdre replied, inwardly regretting the hint of hesitation and hoped that Jaime didn't pick up on it. "The guard is her husband so they allowed me to see you."

"So, get them to set me free." Jaime's eyes turned to her.

Deirdre shook her head. "I can't. It's too dangerous. If Robb finds out I was here, he'll be furious. If I let you go, I can't even imagine what he would do. It's not like before…before Joffrey killed his father. His people hate me now more than ever."

Jaime studied her for a long time before asking, quietly so Dacey wouldn't here, "Do you play me for a fool? I know about you and your beloved king. Your marriage is the envy of many and the song has been sung to me before: the young lord of Winterfell and the lioness who stole his heart and won the love of his people. A lion tamed by a wolf it appears, but then you were always too gentle to be a true lion." He reached up to caress her cheek. "I still can't believe that you're one of us."

"I'm the disappointing one apparently. Tyrion told me that Tywin had planned to marry me and that's why my mother hated me. Because he wanted to marry me rather than her," she replied.

"After Lorch died, Cersei wanted to get you out of Casterly Rock and away from Father in case he changed his mind about marrying you. The thought of you becoming our father's wife terrified Cersei. Your mother was only too happy to oblige for her own reasons. Unfortunately for them both, Robert interfered in her plans to wed you off to a Martell or a Frey. But I prevented Father's wishes for a Tyrell match. No one predicted Robert would thwart us all and marry you off to a Stark."

"And why would Tywin disown me then try to kidnap me? Did he hope to kill me or was I just another hostage against the Starks?"

"He was furious that you dared to fall in love with the son of his enemy. He's always hated the Starks: too damn honorable to bend to the wealth and power of the Rock and had more respect from Robert than Tywin ever did, despite Cersei being his daughter. Robert acted like Lyanna Stark was completely irreplaceable and Ned was a paragon. Father realized if he had you back, he'd hopefully bend Robb Stark to his will, since he couldn't control Ned Stark. Besides, Lady Stark took Tyrion and Father grew tired of losing to the Starks," he chuckled. "I'm not fond of it myself."

Deirdre swallowed hard. "It was a game to you all. Was I just being sold to the highest bidder?"

"Don't be so naïve, it wasn't money they sought. For Cersei and your mother, it was revenge. For Father, it was power over another family. And if Robb Stark didn't bend the knee, perhaps Father would make a Stark mourn a Lannister, just like Robert mourned Lyanna."

"Robert started a war over Lyanna Stark. Was that always the intent? To start a war with the Starks?" Ignoring the thought that Tywin had even considered killing her, she asked, "And for you, Jaime? What was it for you?"

He was silent for a long time before he answered. "You were so gentle. You reminded me of the stories that I'd heard about my mother. I couldn't believe it when you came to King's Landing and I saw how good you were. I thought perhaps as long as you remained gentle and sweet, our family was not doomed to such a miserable future. That's why I encouraged Cersei to let you attend to Tommen and Myrcella as much as possible since they were sweet as well, despite the odds. Perhaps, if I had not joined the King's Guard, my hands would not be so blood stained and my soul so blackened. Or maybe I would still be the man I am. Who knows? Possibly I would still have some of my honor, but I damned myself. So I tried to protect you, even from Father."

Deirdre ignored the stirring in her heart. She could not allow herself to feel sorry for him. He was probably lying about trying to protect her. "Jaime, regain some of your honor now. Tell me the truth about Bran Stark's fall. Why would you try to kill a little boy? Just some way to hurt the Starks? Or was there some secret he knew?" She could tell he was tempted to answer so she cupped his chin in her hand, pulling him to face her. "Please, I want to understand. I need to know why you've done this, cousin." She hoped it would persuade him to feel something, perhaps enough to answer her.

After a few moments, Jaime leaned forward and kissed her gently, holding her a little longer than he normally would. "I'll not condemn you with that knowledge, cuz. It's already started a war and, if you knew, Cersei would see you dead, just like Ned Stark. I'd rather not have your blood on my hands, as well. Perhaps one day you might know the truth of it and you'll lose all compassion for me. But I'd rather have your last look at me be with hope, not hatred. Do not fool yourself though, cousin. As far as Cersei and Joffrey are considered, you are a Stark now. You're worse than one of them because you had a choice and they will kill you if they have the chance."

Before she could reply, he looked to Dacey and raised his voice to call out, "Tell your king not to hide behind his women's skirts. If his wife comes in here again, I'll kill you and her both."

Dacey grabbed Deirdre's arm before she could say more and Deirdre knew that was the last time she'd see Jaime. Her emotions were so conflicted, she could barely breathe. She was numb as Dacey pulled her from his cell and Jaime watched in silence, pain in his eyes for a moment before they turned to his typical arrogant and bold expression. It was the first time Deirdre had seen Jaime look vulnerable at all. As soon as they were away from the cells, she stopped.

"What is it, Your Grace?" Dacey asked when she bent over, her hand over her mouth. "Are you not well?"

"I need a moment," Deirdre said, trying to gather herself together before facing Robb again.

"I could not hear what he said to you but whatever it was, I'm sure he said it to hurt or scare you. Do not take his words to heart."

She must have taken too long because soon Robb had called out her name and she heard people rushing towards her. "What is it?" Robb exclaimed, checking her face for any sign of injury.

"I think he just upset her, Your Grace. He didn't actually touch her," Dacey said and Robb picked her up, carrying her to their tent and laying her down on their cot.

Lady Stark rushed over and began to fuss about her, but Deirdre felt panic rising with the more people surrounding her. "I just need to breathe. I felt faint, but I'll be fine," she tried to wave everyone away but Robb wouldn't leave her side. Finally, she looked at him and whispered, "Make everyone leave, please."

After they were alone, she sat up and drank the water Robb brought her. "What is it?" He asked.

"He wouldn't tell me why he pushed Bran, but he admitted that it's why your father was killed and what started the war. He said he wouldn't condemn me by telling me because Cersei would kill me if I knew," she said. Shaking her head, she added, "I'm sorry. I was foolish enough to think he'd tell me anything."

"He confirmed what we suspected already. Don't be so hard on yourself, my love," he said kissing her. "I'm just glad he didn't hurt you."

Deirdre put her arms around him and held him tightly. "Promise me something."

"I will try," he whispered.

"You won't risk everything to claim the Iron Throne," she answered, sitting back to look at his face. "It causes nothing, but heartache, sorrow, and death. Rule from the north, if you must be king. Do not ask me to raise our child in King's Landing."

"You think I should ally with Stannis or Renly, don't you?" He asked and she nodded. "I cannot promise you this yet. I don't want to rule in King's Landing, but if I cannot negotiate with one of the Baratheons to make the North free from the Iron Throne, then I will have to fight for our right to live free."

"I've seen it, you know? The Iron Throne," she explained, reaching up to touch his cheek. "I thought when I saw it I would understand, but I still didn't. Why anyone would suffer so much for that throne? Even Robert was miserable when it came to his kingly duties from what I've heard. He enjoyed the feasting, drinking, and whoring but not the politics of court. The small council truly runs the kingdoms and they're all snakes. If you were king in the south, you'd never be able to trust the words that were spoken to you. Everything in King's Landing is smoke and mirrors."

Robb nodded. After a moment he asked, "Tell me truly, do you wish me to tell my bannermen that I do not wish to rule?"

"Yes," she said without thinking but added quickly. "But only because it would be safer for you, if you weren't king. However, this is a great honor and no one deserves it more than you. There is no one else who could do this now that your father is dead. You will be a good king, Robb, an honorable king, I have no doubt. Your men are loyal to you because they love you. But as your wife and mother of your children, I want you to be happy and safe as well, and live to see your children's children running through the halls of Winterfell."

"I want that to," he answered with a thoughtful smile. "I promise I will talk to my bannermen about an alliance with Renly or Stannis. And I promise that as your husband, I will always listen to your thoughts, but as your king, I might not always be able to do what you wish me to do."

"I have no desire to rule over you," she replied with a smile. "I trust you'll do what you think is right for the north and your people. Just keep in mind, that you must also do right for me by reducing the amount of danger you put yourself in. I know it's not your way to stand back in safety while men fight your battles, but do not throw yourself down the most dangerous path, if you can avoid it."

Deirdre rose to get a drink of water and Robb walked to the entrance of their tent. She heard him tell his men that they were not to be disturbed except for an emergency. When he returned, he stood there studying her.

Tears burned her eyes seeing his sudden sadness. She knew he thought of his father now, not his new position. She struggled for the words to give him comfort but knew there were none. "Your father was loved by so many. I was humbled by the stories your men told of him…"

Before she could say more, he walked to her and placed his fingers over her lips, shaking his head slightly with a frown. "Not now."

Deirdre wasn't sure what to say so she asked if he needed anything.

"I need you to make me forget this pain, even if it's just for a few hours." His eyes pleaded with her and her heart ached with his vulnerability.

Deirdre took his face in her hands and kissed him. Robb buried his hands in her hair, pulling her into his body. He nipped at her lips with a fierce hunger, his tongue seeking out the heat of her mouth. Moaning, she began tugging at his tunic. Robb grabbed the back of her dress ripping it off her, nearly shredding the fabric, and lifted her into his arms, carrying her to their cot.

Robb sat down with her astride him and whispered, "Please, just make me forget." His eyes were bright with unshed tears and she forced back her own. Taking on the role of the aggressor, she stood to finish undressing him then kneeled before him. Trailing her hands along his chest and stomach muscles as she nibbled on his neck, she then moved to his shoulders. Robb reached up to caress her breasts.

Deirdre reached down and gently wrapped her hand around his hard length as she ran her tongue along the inside of his thigh. Robb moaned her name. She raised her eyes to his and leaned forward running her tongue on him. She moved her tongue against him a few times before taking him in her mouth. His eyes closed and his head fell back, as he jerked his hips forward. Feeling brazen, she took as much of him in her mouth as she could, moving her tongue lightly on him. Robb growled low and buried his fingers into her hair, gripping it tightly.

Judging his pleasure by his gasps and moans, she continued until Robb released her hair and moved his hands under her arms. Deirdre let him lift her to straddle him, burying himself deep inside her. Their eyes met as they moved together faster, both caught up in each other. He lowered his hand between them, rubbing her swollen nub and forcing a moan from her. Deirdre moved restlessly against him, moaning in pleasure. Robb pushed her to the brink then when she could stand no more he moved his fingers quickly until she peaked, crying out his name.

As soon as she recovered, Robb lowered them both to lie on the floor. His thrusts were wild and he kissed her with such passion and need, Deirdre could barely catch her breath, clinging to him.

Robb pulled her arms above her head, holding them down to the ground as he lowered his mouth to her breasts. Deirdre gasped when his teeth graze her nipple before sucking it. He slowly thrust into her, almost fully withdrawing before impaling her once again. She tried to pull her wrists free so she could touch him but he wouldn't release her, preferring to drive her wild under his control instead. She whimpered his name, arching up to meet his strokes. When her release came it hit her hard, forcing a cry from her lips much louder than she intended. Robb raised his head and crushed his lips against hers as he plunged into her hard, over and over again. Soon, he spilled himself into her with a loud guttural moan.

He released her wrists and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When they both caught their breath she whispered his name. Blue eyes met hers and once again tears filled her eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" His face was a mask of concern as he shifted his weight to move off her. She shook her head and a smile crossed her lips even as tears fell from her eyes. "I should have been gentler, more careful."

Deirdre laughed. "My belly is barely swollen yet. I think it will be fine. Women have done this since the beginning of days." She ran her hand down his cheek. "These tears are not from pain. They're because I love you so much, I just feel overwhelmed with my love for you," she whispered. "You and our child are my world now."

"I never dreamed I'd love my wife so much," he admitted. "I assumed I'd have an arranged married to benefit the North and someday we'd grow to love each other. But never did I imagine anything so consuming." He smiled, kissing her. "Considering how we began, I never dreamed you'd love me so much either. I still find it hard to believe I am so lucky."

Tears fell from her eyes, a combination of the fact that she loved her husband so completely and that soon she would be the mother to his child. She had never thought she'd truly fall in love with Robb the way she had Jon and in truth it wasn't the same. Jon had been so passionate but even though she knew he cared for her, loved her even, she never felt any sense of harmony with him. It had been so dangerous and risky with him, in every way. Their love seemed so young. Her love with Robb felt so much more lasting.

In the time she'd known him, Robb had changed from the charming, carefree young man she'd married and now was bold, fierce and passionate both as a leader and a husband. But he still treated her with respect and love. She felt like he considered her his equal. He awoke things in her that she did not know existed. One was love for the North and a sense of belonging amongst his people, something she never felt with her own kin.

"I'm sorry," she said wiping away her tears. "I feel very…emotional right now. Today has been very tumultuous. Finding out about the baby was such a joy, then learning about your father, and then you've become king…" She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I was so forlorn and seeing you so devastated, but at the same time I felt hope growing inside me. Then I think about what might happen in the coming days and I'm terrified. I want to be strong for you, for your people, but I'm not like your mother."

"No, you're not," he agreed, stroking her hair. "But people love you for the woman you are. They don't expect you to be like my mother. I don't think people think I'm much like my father so it's doubtful they expect you to be like her."

"You are like your father in some ways. You have his sense of honor and justice. You inspire loyalty from people. But your father was quieter, more somber, from what I saw. He was a very kind man but it wasn't something that was obvious just by looking at him. You could see it in the way he treated his children and your lady mother, but it wasn't something that he projected to strangers. You're very amicable: the men always considered you one of them. Hopefully, they will still feel that way towards you as their king."

"I don't feel like a king," he said with a sigh.

Running her hands over his chest and arms, she smiled wickedly. "If all kings felt like this, I would understand the appeal to them. But I cannot imagine anyone else feeling quite so desirable." He grinned but remained silent, his mind elsewhere. "Robb?"

"Mother sent a raven to Winterfell," he began but guilt crossed his face.

"You haven't told, Jon," she said, knowing the answer. He shook his head. "It's not your mother's place, nor will she do it. I suppose you could ask someone else to do it but…"

"Most likely, someone sent a raven to Lord Commander Mormont."

Deirdre propped herself up on an elbow. "Robb, the raven should come from you to your brother. He shouldn't find out from someone else. How would you feel if you found out from Theon or from Lord Bolton?"

"It's different. He's in the Night's Watch and…"

"Robb," she interrupted shaking her head. "If your mother wasn't here, you'd notify Bran and Rickon, wouldn't you?"

"Bran and Rickon aren't likely to jump on the back of a horse to come find me when they find out our father was murdered. Bran and Rickon aren't Jon. And how do I tell him not to come down here when I want him to, but I know he shouldn't?"

Deirdre was quiet for a moment before saying, "You are a king now. Perhaps you could get him released from his duties to the Night's Watch."

"Perhaps," Robb said then shook his head. "No, I can't ask this of him. He took vows and if he broke them, his sense of honor would be destroyed. Jon always wanted to prove his worth. I cannot take away his right to do that."

Watching him struggling with his resolution, Deirdre leaned forward and kissed him. She wished Jon were here too. She knew how much Robb needed his brother beside him, but this was between the two of them, so she would not voice her thoughts. "Then write the letter, send the raven. Say whatever you have to say to keep him at the Wall. Or ask him to come and find a way to release him from his vows. But do not wait any longer to notify him. Send the raven tonight, Robb. He has a right to know."

"What should I do?" he asked her, studying her expression. "Should I be selfish or honorable?"

She hesitated only a moment before saying, "I cannot make this decision for you. He's your brother. It's your decision."

xOxOx

Jon,

I had hoped that my raven to you would be to inform you that we rescued Father, Sansa, and Arya from King's Landing. We've captured the Kingslayer and had hoped to trade for Father and our sisters, but we were too late. Writing these words is harder than I realized it could be… which is why I put it off so late.

Joffrey beheaded Father this morn after he confessed to being a traitor. They must have convinced him to confess in order to regain his freedom or to save our sisters. However, they only betrayed him once more. We will make them pay for this.

The North will no longer bend the knee to the Iron Throne and our people have named me King of the North. I wish you were by my side when I take Joffrey's head, but I understand how important your vows are. Honor is in our blood and I realize you will do what's right.

You are missed, Jon. But Father would want you to do your duty to the Night's Watch.

Robb

Jon read the words so many times they began to blur together. It was then he realized that tears had filled his eyes. His chest felt like it was going to explode with both pain and rage. He remembered Joffrey Baratheon well. Robb could easily kill him in a one-on-one fight but Joffrey would never stand face-to-face with his brother. There would be no battle on the Trident like Robert and Rhaegar. Joffrey would send his 'dog' or hide behind his thousands of his Gold Cloaks, but he'd never go himself.

Robb was king now as well as responsible for those who abandoned the Wall. If Jon left to join him, his brother could make things right with the Night's Watch. He wanted him by his side, he'd said as much. He would go, owed it to his brother to be there for him. And Jon needed his brother, all his brothers.

He remembered the last time he'd seen them all together, all but Bran. Sansa and Arya getting into the wagon to King's Landing. His father and his uncle mounting their horses as Rickon held both Robb and Deirdre's hands, upset that he was being left behind. Robb had looked worried, but had laughed when Deirdre had said something to him. He'd see Deirdre again and it would hurt him, he knew. But nothing could touch the pain he felt reading that his father was dead and being so far away from his siblings.

Robb shouldn't have to shoulder all of the responsibilities of his brothers and sisters. He might not be a Stark but they were his blood.

'When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives', Father had always said. If Jon stayed here without them, he'd die. He didn't belong at the Wall when his family was in danger.

In the end, his friends brought him back to the Wall that night. But even though he knew his duty was here, his heart would forever be torn between his brothers in the Night's Watch and the family he left behind.