For Kitty ;) and because I know it was a completely horrible place to leave the last chapter...although I doubt this is much better :0

Chapter 21 - Shattered and Broken.

EPOV

There were no words which could surmise how I felt the second Bella walked through the door and out of my life.

How could she ever see us as future-less and nothing more than a few months of fun?

I knew she was scared and trying desperately to push me, and those closest to her away, but deep down I hoped that I was the reason she'd finally decide to stop running and fight back. I'd noticed a difference in her, we'd all noticed a difference, and the way she flinched at my touch...avoided my affection, it broke my heart and now I knew why.

I could understand her fear. Seven long years she had feared him, and during those years she had been through things I couldn't even begin to comprehend. But still, she had to know I would and could protect her. I was nothing like the guy in Seattle...I wasn't going anywhere. She was my life.

While she'd worked her shift at Art's I'd been thinking about something Alice had said. James had a criminal record and would certainly be here illegally. That fact might hinder the police in arresting him for the things he'd done to Bella...but it made my plan that much easier to keep hidden.

Art knew people...the type of people who could take care of James should we find him. Take care of him once and for all, to finally give Bella the relief she needed.

But it was irrelevant, Bella was gone, never coming back and I couldn't help her now.

I remained standing by the door, frozen to the spot. I felt someone approach me cautiously, but I didn't...couldn't move.

"Edward. Come and sit down, buddy, get your head together and have a drink. Just give her a bit of time. She's got too much to deal with right now, she'll come around, I'm sure she will." Art put his hand on my shoulder and tried to walk me over to the bar. "She loves you, man, you know she does."

I shook out of his hold and snatched open the door. "No, I just need to get home, Art. Bella's not 'coming around.' She's more scared of him than she loves me or anyone else for that matter."

"Art's right, Edward." Emmett stepped forward. "You two have been so wrapped up in each other since we got back, this has just come out of the blue. She needs a bit of room to breathe, you two were so good together and there's no way she'd walk away from that."

I laughed once, bitterly."She already has, Emmett."

I walked through the door and headed home. All the way, I was replaying the last six months with Bella. I thought about the night we met, the first night we spent together and the following morning. I thought about how it felt to leave her when we went on tour and then how it felt when I finally arrived home. Every minute I'd spent with her had been incredible - Bella was incredible. She grounded me in a way I never thought possible. When she told me she loved me, I knew it was me that she loved, not my job, the money or the fame and that made her even more special. Everyone loved her, my sister adored her and I had pictured us old and creaky-boned and still in love. She was wrong, I would have married her, I would have spent the rest of my life with her.

Correction, I would have married the Bella I met in Arts in June, the Bella who I'd spent three months pining for, and the Bella who I woke up next to most mornings. The Bella who had just walked away from me tonight wasn't anyone I knew. Alice was right our Bella was long gone and never coming back.

I walked into the apartment and sighed, I needed her here and even though I knew exactly where she was I couldn't go and get her. For one brief moment I felt hope, I saw the light flashing on my answer machine. Had she called?

I pressed play and listened, praying it was her.

"Edward, its Mom. Emmett has just called and told me what's happened with you and Bella. I'm so sorry sweetheart, we're flying out to the house right now, Emmett's going to swing by and pick you up. Meet us there okay? I'll call you the minute we land."

I deleted the message and collapsed onto the bed. I felt the lump in my throat start to form but I fought it back down. I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow but immediately I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach. I could smell her, her shampoo, her perfume, just her. She'd been out of my life for an hour and I simply couldn't imagine never seeing her again. I needed to leave, I needed to get away from this place, it was full of painful reminders that I couldn't deal with, so I stood quickly and pulled out my phone.

Emmett answered on the first ring, "We're parked outside, get your ass in the car, we'll take you to Mom and Dad's."

I hung up and went straight downstairs. Emmett's car, was idling outside the building and as soon as I climbed into the back he moved away. Rosalie was riding in the front with him and I saw her glance quickly at me. Emmett too, was watching in the rear-view mirror.

"I don't want to talk about it guys," I snapped and closed my eyes, trying to force the pictures of Bella out of my mind before they drove me crazy.

Emmett nodded and turned his attention back to the road. I pretended to sleep for the rest of the drive, but I never came close to drifting off. I was falling to pieces, thinking about Bella was all I could do. For almost three hours I couldn't expel her from my head. I thought that going to the Hampton's would be better than stewing at home alone, but the minute I walked into the dark house I realised I had made a mistake. I hadn't been here since the weekend I left to go on tour; I spent two wonderful days and nights with Bella here and those memories were just as painful as the rest. I sat on the stairs and put my face in my hands, Emmett and Rosalie hovered for a minute before moving into the kitchen.

As soon as they were out of sight I walked upstairs and into Caitlyn's room. I couldn't face my room, not yet, Bella had slept there too and I needed an escape from her just for a little while. I curled up on my sisters bed and closed my eyes again. Fighting back the tears was becoming harder and harder, my throat was aching and my head was pounding. I was still holding it all in when I fell asleep.

BPOV

I collapsed onto the couch after a few minutes of crying on the cold, hard floor. I was still there when Angela entered the apartment at around three. She was alone and I pretended to be asleep, I felt her hovering near me before sighing and walking into her room. I was too consumed by guilt, shame, and hurt to sleep. I had no one to blame but myself, I was pushing away the most important people in my life and these emotions consumed me so much that I couldn't feel afraid of him anymore. It didn't matter that I was trying to help them, I was still hurting them...hurting me. I couldn't bear to think about Edward. I never thought I would find someone like him...never in a million years, yet now I was turning my back on him. I waited until Angela was fast asleep and I crept into my room to change. I pulled on my running clothes and then left the apartment. I ran and ran around the reservoir, one lap or a hundred? I had no idea. I continued to run until I had absolutely nothing left and my legs gave in. I sat down on the edge of the path, pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs tightly.

I stared at the Manhattan skyline across the reservoir-as I did with Edward's face last night, I tried to capture every detail in my mind. The park, my apartment, Edward's apartment, and Art's were places full of my happiest memories. I could have stayed here for the rest of my life and been happy and alive.

Those memories were irrelevant now though, because I couldn't stay, that decision was already out of my hands. I had no idea where to go but that didn't matter. Wherever I went was unimportant because the only people that mattered would be here and better off without me.

I started to plan the next few days in my head. I had to pack what I could into an overnight bag; I wasn't taking all of my things, I needed to travel light. I would go to Grand Central Station on Sunday and choose the first departing train or coach and just go. There was the matter of my father, I should call and tell him the score, but I couldn't, because I knew exactly what he would say. I loved my father, but there were a few things still hanging in the air after I'd left Seattle. I wasn't ready to deal with that and I certainly wasn't ready for the lecture he would no doubt give on getting involved with Edward in the first place.

No, I would call him once I'd decided where to go.

I stood unsteadily and slowly walked back to the apartment, my legs were heavy with exhaustion and I was emotionally and physically spent. It was almost nine when I got back home. Angela was still asleep and Alice was nowhere in sight. She told me she would stay away until I left, so I presumed she was at Jasper's. I cried fresh tears at the thought of completely destroying our friendship. I had always been able to turn to her for anything and I had driven her away. It was for the best, that's what I had to keep telling myself. All of this was for the best, for them at least.

I went into my room and pulled out my overnight bag and stuffed a few bits and pieces inside. Most of my clothes were at Edward's but I couldn't go back for them...if I went there I'd never find the courage to leave.

Angela knocked on my door and hesitantly stepped inside the room. I heard her gasp as she saw what I was doing and her eyes brimmed with tears straight away.

"You're leaving now?"

I nodded solemnly and continued stuffing the things I wasn't taking with me into black bags.

"Please don't, Bella. I don't want you to go...I mean you don't even know if he knows where you are yet." She walked over and put her hands out, trying to stop me or hug me, I wasn't sure.

"I can't stay, Angela. James does know where I am, trust me, it's so much safer if I just go before he can hurt anyone else." I thought about telling her what happened outside the apartment last night but didn't say a word. "I won't let him hurt you, or Alice, or Ed..." My voice cracked as I spoke his name.

She shook her head but I cut her off before she could speak.

"He's a monster, Angela, and I can't think about living with him watching me. It tears me apart to think about leaving, but I can't live that way again."

Angela nodded and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow." I handed her an envelope and said, "My rent and bills."

"Forget the money, Bella, I get off work at nine tonight. How about we have a pizza and watch a movie. I'd like to have one last night with my friend before she leaves and I never get to see her again."

I nodded and smiled at her. "Sounds nice." I felt cruel, but I was so numb and broken I couldn't react with anymore emotion. I simply had nothing left to give.

EPOV

I hadn't expected to get much sleep, so I was surprised when I woke up and the clock was pointing at almost two in the afternoon. I was still on top of Caitlyn's bed, fully clothed. As I remembered why I was here the memories of last night hit my chest forcefully, much like an out of control freight train and I jumped out of bed to escape them. I could hear my sister's voice and I went downstairs to the kitchen.

My family was all sitting in the kitchen talking among themselves. I guessed it was about me because as soon as I walked through the door everyone shut up. I was greeted with sympathetic smiles and my mother got up and embraced me tightly.

"I left you asleep, Edward, you were out of it when we got here and I thought it was best to leave you." She pulled back and looked at me. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Please don't worry." I wasn't convincing I was sure, but she let it go. Caitlyn threw herself at me and burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It's because of my stupid party that Bella's gone. I don't want you two to break up. I love her. She was the best girlfriend you ever had." I knelt beside her and hugged her.

"Ssh, Caitlyn, it's not your fault. Bella's got some pretty bad problems and she couldn't stay any more. I don't want her to go either, kiddo."

"No, Edward. Mom told me about that man who follows her and stuff. If it wasn't for my party then those pictures would never have gotten out and she'd still be here." She was inconsolable, but I just I couldn't tell her she was wrong. As harsh as it was to admit, if Bella had stayed in New York instead of going to that party, then she would be here with me right now.

After I consoled Caitlyn, Dad urged her away and took her to watch a DVD in her bedroom. My mother pulled me over to the couch and sat me down.

"What happened, Edward?"

I sighed heavily, the last thing I needed was to talk about this again but I gave her a quick synopsis of last night's events and she never said a word. I did see her wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. You know that she never meant to hurt you, she'll be terrified, Edward, and the only thing she knows she can do to escape it is to run."

Rosalie nodded in agreement and Emmett got his ten penneth in. "I agree with Mom, we saw you two together, bro-she was as smitten as you were. Bella's just got so much going on in her mind that it's too much for her to deal with." I saw his expression shift from sympathetic to calculative and he paused before he spoke again, "Can we do anything? Find him and forcibly remove him from her life? I'm sure Art knows someone who can track him down."

Those comments earned him two disapproving scowls from Rosalie and my Mother.

I shook my head. "Her father already tried that, he found someone to put him in hospital but it made things worse for Bella. So unless you approve of permanently removing him from the picture that's a really bad idea." I saw Rosalie's face fall in shock. "Don't worry, Rosalie, it won't happen. The minute Bella left, I had no way of finding him to do it. But believe me, if I could then I would."

"Let's not talk about this. Edward, you really need to talk to her in private, why don't you give her a call and go and see her once you get back to the city." My Mother rubbed my arm again.

God I wanted to do that, I would have done anything to see her at that very moment. But I wasn't going to beg, she had decided that the best thing for her was me out of her life. She was right, it was because of me that he had found her again. I had promised her that she could trust me to keep us out of the public eye and I failed her. My mother was still pushing me, urging me to try to talk to her one on one. I sat forward and pulled my hands through my hair in frustration. I couldn't do this now.

"It's done, Mom. Trust me, if you'd been there...if you saw Bella's face you would realise you were fighting a lost cause. No one is bringing her back now, she's gone and I need to accept it." I stood up and walked outside. The rain was lashing down and the bitter wind blowing in from the coast was whipping it against my face. I stood there for a while and let it soak me through; trying to convince myself that it was washing away all trace of her from my body.

When I was too wet and cold to bear it any more I went back into the house and showered. I was pretty much left alone for the rest of the day. My mother and brother were always in the periphery, watching me, making sure I wasn't about to swallow a bottle of pills or take a rope to my neck.

The day dragged and the night even more so. We ate in relative silence, watched a movie and then I stayed on the couch as everyone else trudged upstairs. I still wasn't ready to face my room so I watched television until well after four in the morning. When I did finally enter my room I didn't dare turn on the light. I pretended I was in a strange hotel room, one which had no memory of Bella and I got into bed trying to keep her out of my head long enough so I could get to sleep. It didn't work, she was in my every thought. I was worrying about her, wondering if she was okay. Thinking about him and if he had found her yet, thinking about the gift I'd bought her in London and had been to chicken to give to her. Maybe if I had she wouldn't have walked away.

Six o'clock came and went and I was still awake, still thinking about her. I must have dropped off briefly at some point as I was woken at seven by Caitlyn. I didn't have the heart to tell her I needed to sleep so I let her tow me downstairs to the kitchen. I helped her with her breakfast and then poured myself several cups of strong coffee in an attempt to keep myself awake. She was trying desperately to cheer me up and talked incessantly about all sorts of useless things. Boys she had a crush on, boys who had a crush on her. I listened and made the right ooh and ah noises when I should have. I welcomed the distraction.

We were alone in the kitchen for an hour or so before my parents came downstairs.

"Good God, Edward, you look terrible. Did you get any sleep last night?" My mother scalded as she took in my less than immaculate appearance. I needed to shave, I had huge dark circles under my tired eyes and my hair was stuck flat to my head. It was a good thing we had no photo shoots on the horizon or I would give the make-up artists a challenge to get me even remotely lifelike.

"Mom, I told you last night I was fine. Please stop worrying. I think I'm heading back to the city this afternoon. I'm gonna pack a few things and come stay with you guys in LA for a while...until I get my head sorted at least." This was one of the many things I had mulled over during my sleepless night. The other was that I had to stop moping about after Bella, I had to accept that she was gone and that was a good thing. If anyone made you feel like you were dying on the inside then they were better off out of your life for good. Right?

Emmett and Rosalie were staying at the house and flying to LA with my family that evening so I drove back to the city alone, the drive was a great way to clear my head and I knew I needed to move past this before it destroyed me. As soon as I had parked up Emmett's car I went straight to Art's without even going home. It was nearly six so I would manage to sneak in before the mad rush started, hopefully I could drink my troubles away, at least for a few hours. One trouble really I suppose, Bella.

BPOV

After I finished packing I was a mess. I hadn't realised how many memories were attached to simple things such as jackets, a purse, or a pair of shoes. Most of the things I had bought here in the city and until now there had been no bad memories, my life until now had been perfect.

No, perfect was a bit of a stretch. Edward had been spot on about that, I wasn't living...existing was probably the better word. Working, running, working and sleeping did not add up to a gratifying life. But that all changed when Edward Cullen walked into Art's one random Tuesday night nearly six months ago. Since then I had gained a whole new perspective on the important things in life and I wasn't ready to go crawl back under the rock that I had been hiding under for so long.

I walked out into the lounge, the entire apartment felt empty. I flopped onto the couch with the intent of watching television until Angela's shift finished in a couple of hours. However, the exhaustion was taking it's toll and I fell asleep before I'd even lifted the remote. Angela woke me up at nine-thirty, a bottle of wine in one hand and a pizza in another.

"Alice hasn't been home all day. Is she staying at Jasper's?" I looked at Angela sadly.

"Yeah. I think she's probably going to move in. Mike's moving in with a friend next month, so it seems silly for them both to be forking out for two separate apartments." Angela set the pizza down and went to open the wine in the kitchen.

"Wait, Angela, what about you? Will you be able to afford this place on your own?" Angela and I were alike in so many ways. We both had at least one parent to whom money was no object. Yet we were both unwilling to live on their hard-earned cash and strove for independence.

"Bella, I'll be fine. Ben's going to move in and if need be we can lease out the other rooms. It won't be the same without you guys of course, but still...I love it here." She paused and looked at me. "Of course, if you change your mind and stay here, then nothing will change whatsoever."

I shook my head at her. "I'll be gone tomorrow, Angela. I'm sorry."

Angela looked angry, but tried to hide it. "Let's just eat and have a drink, Bella. If this is our last night together in the city, then I want it to be Bella and Angela having a giggle." She thrust the pizza box at me and I took that to mean that she wasn't interested in arguing with me anymore.

I just about managed to force a slice of pizza down but the knot in my stomach was back as it had been every time James had been present in my life. I did however, consume more than my fair share of wine. I was hoping it would numb some of the fear and hurt that I was feeling. Although I didn't think there were enough vineyards in the world to help with that problem.

Angela had carefully chosen Breakfast At Tiffany's for us to watch. I didn't miss the irony of her choice. A woman running from her problems rather than standing and facing up to them, of course the hunky man begging her to stay and then their romantic reunion in a wet New York Street was definitely something I wouldn't be getting. I tried to be good company for her, but all night the conversation was forced and Angela looked uncomfortable. As soon as the movie finished she excused herself and went to bed.

I did the same but I knew I wasn't sleeping. My mind was torn in half and there was a full-out war going on inside my head. One part of me was screaming at me to stay here, talk to Edward and beg him to forgive me. The other was commanding I leave now for selfish and unselfish reasons. I was still no closer to absolution at six so once again I decided to go for a run in the Park. I had my MP3 player on, playing Zeus tracks at full volume in my ear. As I had done yesterday, I ran and ran until I was unable to stand.

I'd left a life behind twice before; once after losing my mother, and the other when I left Seattle. Of course, they had been tough to deal with, but in all honesty I had never found it so difficult to leave something. Just imagining never seeing him face to face again, never hearing his voice, his laugh, or never being able to kiss him made me feel like I was suffocating.

I was also starting to feel the rage burning inside me, desperate to claw its way out. James had done this to my life, he had driven Edward and I apart. I was missing the person that I had become over the past six months. For the first time in seven long years I had almost forgotten to be afraid.

I wasn't ashamed to admit a few more selfish reasons why I wanted James to be gone from my life. I had sympathisers, friends and family who would all rally around me if this thing with James got bad. But despite their best intentions, not one person knew how I was feeling, no one understood how it felt to be hunted and no one understood how the fear consumed all you were and ruled your every thought and your every move.

Just like yesterday, I sat here for hours. It was cold, really cold and the rain was getting steadily heavier. I was angry and exhausted, and absolutely no more tears left. I was asked by several police officers if I was okay, and decided to make a move before I had to try and convince one more person that I wasn't having a mental breakdown right in the middle of Central Park. I walked wearily home, back to my apartment for one last time. I tried to remember every minute detail; the colour of the pavement, the smells that were lingering in the air, the vendors and the cars that lined the streets. I wanted to store all of this information, keep it emblazoned in my mind because I would never be here again.

By the time I walked back into the apartment Angela had already left for work. That made things a little easier, saying goodbye face to face would have been too much for me to deal with and I was relieved I could just leave, slide away without having to turn my back on anyone else.

I was all packed and ready to go so I showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt. I was still without my heavy coat, so I pulled on my denim jacket. I would be freezing outside, but once I was on the train or the coach I would be fine.

Actually no, I would not be fine. I wouldn't be cold, that's the best I could do. I seriously doubted I would ever be fine again. How could I be fine when the only things that had made me happy in six years were still here?

I took the sacks I wasn't taking with me to the manager's office, they were being collected by a charity on Monday morning. There was one last thing that I had to do before I left. I couldn't leave without at least trying to explain why so I picked up a pen and some sheets of paper and began to write.

Angela wouldn't be home until after nine, so I left the letters and my key on the side in the kitchen and took one last look around my home before I closed the door to the apartment.

I felt the cold hit me straight away and I shivered automatically. It had turned bitter and the rain was lashing down. I took a taxi to Grand Central Station and stood looking at the departure boards, trying to choose somewhere I could start over. As I mulled over my choices, I saw one route which passed through a station called Mason City.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, his name resonated in my head over and over. I had no idea what this place would be like, but I looked at the board and smiled. Maybe, if the town wasn't too bad I could stay there, one last desperate attempt at keeping some part of him in my life. I bought a one way ticket from the counter, the woman serving smiled.

"You been Mason City before?"

I shook my head and just held out my hand for the ticket.

"That's the place the plane took off from. 'The night the music died'." She looked at me and waited for my reaction. When I didn't give her one she shook her head. "Young people these days have no taste in music. Don McLean's American Pie has the line 'The night the music died'. He sang it about the plane crash which killed Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper."

"Oh right," I mumbled,I forced a smile and took the ticket, before quickly heading to the platform for the 16:30 departure. I looked behind me at the scores of people greeting and bidding farewell to each other and sighed sadly. No one was here to see me off, I hoped James had watched me arrive here, if he saw me leave the city then he would have no reason to stay behind and hurt anyone...llet him follow me, let him hurt me, I didn't care anymore.

EPOV

I was mesmerised by the rain streaming down the front windows of the bar. As people passed, they had their coats wrapped tightly across them, their hoods or umbrellas up, trying in vain to keep out the rain, the wind, and the cold. I had been here in the bar for an hour or so, feeling empty and numb.

"Have you spoken to Bella?" Art finally asked and snapped me out of my trance-like-state, staring at the window.

"No, Art, I haven't. I think she made it perfectly clear what she wanted on Friday night," I snapped, it was bothering me how I reacted whenever I spoke or thought about her. I knew the anger was a defensive reaction, if it wasn't that it would have been tears and I certainly didn't want Art to feel like I needed a hug. "Please, I really don't want to talk about her. I just came here to have a beer.

Art nodded sympathetically. "Sure, Edward. Sorry."

I turned my focus to the window again. I tried to look at every face that passed by, hoping one of them would be Bella. I wasn't dealing with this well at all and it was alien to me. I had never been so despondent or broken after splitting with anyone before. It had pretty much sucked, but I simply felt a little downbeat for a day or so and then been as good as new. I knew that getting over Bella would be impossible, I mean I couldn't think of one damn thing that I would change. Even all this shit with James was worth dealing with if it meant I got to keep her. I loved her, every single part of her and she was gone, just like that.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but on the off-chance Bella was actually the one on the other end of the line I answered it immediately.

"Yo, Edward. You over at Art's?" I was surprised to hear Seth's voice. "Stay where you are, me and Garrett are on our way over."

"Seth, please, I don't need babysitters. I'm a big boy and I just need to get my head around a few things. I doubt I'll be much company anyway."

Seth ignored me, "Hey, I just fancy a beer and a few racks of pool. I'll see you in a few." He hung up and I groaned in frustration.

I heard the door swing open a few minutes later, expecting it to be Seth...praying it would be Bella. But it was neither. Alice and Jasper smiled and came to sit beside me at the unusually quiet bar. Maybe it was the weather putting the patrons off, or perhaps it was the horrible atmosphere that I was exuding, but I didn't care, I appreciated the space.

I noticed Alice looked terrible. In the six months since meeting Bella, Alice had always looked so put together, never a hair out-of-place. Now though she was a mess. She had an old woollen cardigan wrapped around her, the usually perfect hair was lank and flat to her head and she didn't have a trace of make-up on. Her eyes were red and puffy, she must have spent the last few days crying over the loss of her best friend.

"Have you heard from her?" she asked hoarsely. Not able to meet my gaze.

I shook my head. "You?"

"No." I saw her bottom lip quiver and she bit down to compose herself. "Not a word. Angela spent last night with her watching a movie. But she said they hardly spoke. She's all packed and ready to leave. I haven't been back to the apartment since Friday."

I looked away, closing my eyes. Bella wasn't taking her time. She was leaving sooner not later. I could ring her, hear her voice one last time and try to convince her to stay. I knew it was pointless, if her best friend had been unable to get through to her, what chance did I have? After all she had never taken me, or us, seriously.

We never said anything else. Jasper remained close by Alice's side, he looked just as exhausted as his girlfriend. I knew he pulled long hours as a fire-fighter and I guessed he was pulling long hours consoling Alice too.

I began to understand Bella a little more now. James wasn't even here yet and he had already turned so many people's lives upside down. That's what he had done to Bella for so long and that's why she kept on running. She thought by staying, history would repeat itself and someone she cared about would end up getting hurt. If only she could see that by losing her, so many people were hurting anyway. We were all here for her, of all the times she'd had to face this, right now she had more than enough people around who would help her, and who had everything at their disposal to help her. But instead she chose to run and I'd probably never see her again.

Art never spoke which was unusual for him, and even when Seth and Garrett first arrived the mood never changed. Garrett gave me another annoying look, I was sick and tired of the pity, I knew that people meant well, but it didn't help. Seth was like a breath of fresh air, he made no mention of Bella and insisted we go for a game of pool as it was probably his only chance to kick my ass, given that my mind was totally elsewhere for the time being. I agreed and let him wipe the floor with me for an hour or so. It did little to make me feel any better, but he seemed to think he had at least distracted me for a short time.

It was 10:15pm when we went back into the main bar. There were no other customers there besides Alice and Jasper. Clearly, the depressing environment was enough to deter anyone from coming in. Art, Garrett, Jasper and Seth chatted quietly, but Alice and I sat in complete silence. Neither of us had anything to say about Bella and we had no intention of making small talk either. Another fifteen minutes passed by and the door swung open so hard it banged against the wall and caused a framed photo of Art's late Father to fall to the floor.

Angela walked in sobbing, another guy was behind her who I recognised from somewhere, but couldn't place his face. I assumed it was her boyfriend, the one she met in Miami. She was clutching something tightly in her fist and she thrust her hand out to Alice.

"She's gone, Alice. Really gone, all of her things have been cleared out and she left these papers and her key on the kitchen side." Angela looked as distraught as Alice, the only difference between them was the sheer exhaustion on Alice's face. She knew this was coming, Angela hadn't actually thought she was going through with it. That was obvious.

Alice looked briefly at the papers in her hand and then held one out gingerly in my direction. "For you, Edward."

I took it silently and hesitated before I read it.

Edward,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've hurt you, sorry that I am walking away from something that was so great. Sorry that I have completely ruined everything for us.

You have no idea how much I wish things could be different, but they're not and this is something I have to do. Not for me but for you. I have never loved anyone like I love you. These past few months have been the most wonderful time of my life and I have never felt more alive, more like me. Being with you actually helped me forget what it was like to be afraid again. But if I stay he will hurt you and I can't risk that. I love you too much to ever let it happen.

Saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do and it's breaking me into pieces to do it but it's something that I have to do.

I hope that you can forgive me.

Bella

x

I had held back for two days and couldn't any more. I slammed the letter down on the counter and covered my eyes with one hand as the tears filled my eyes. I swore over and over again. I could feel someone's hand on my arm, squeezing gently and I looked up to see Alice's face crumpled too.

"Shit, who died man?" The guy who came in with Angela looked at Jasper in horror. "It's like a funeral in here."

"Bella's left the city," Jasper replied quietly and I remembered where I knew him from. He wasn't Angela's boyfriend, this was the guy who had taken Bella out before we met. Moronic Mike she'd called him.

"Whoa, that's a shame. Damned that chick was fine. Why did she do a runner then?" he pressed. "Is it anything to do with the argument she was having with her boyfriend out in the hall on Friday?"

Seven heads snapped up to look at him. What?

"What argument?" Alice demanded, her eyes looking to me for an explanation. I just shrugged, I hadn't been to her apartment on Friday, that was the day she was fired and spent wandering around the park.

Mike looked slightly confused by the interest, but answered nonetheless, "I heard your door bang on Friday night. I took a look through the peep-hole and saw Bella getting into it with a guy. He had her pressed up against the door and it looked pretty intense. I was going to go out and see if she was okay, but then he kissed her and left. So I figured she was fine."

"What did he look like, Mike? Could you hear what they were saying?" Alice had jumped up and was standing directly in front of Mike. Her hands were reaching for him, ready to grab his arms if he tried to make a move.

"I dunno, he was a tall dude. Blond hair and quite burly...kinda like Jasper's build. I only heard a few words he said...um...something about being back on Monday and he called her Isabella. Apart from that I don't know." He stopped before something occurred to him. "Oh yeah I almost forgot. He was a Brit. Talked like she did."

No one spoke. Everyone was reeling from that revelation. Even Seth who wasn't usually too quick on the uptake understood.

Alice nodded. "He always called her that. Izzy or Isabella. She hated it, that's why she freaks out if anyone else ever uses it. That's why she took off like she did, because he'd already found her, Edward. It doesn't take a genius to see how crazy she was about you, those photographs made it pretty clear. James would say and do whatever he could to get her away from you...I suppose you were his secret weapon. All he had to do was threaten you and he knew she'd leave...he'll want her as far away from us as he can."

"But why didn't she tell us, God, Alice, she must have been terrified all weekend. That's why she never slept, why she went out for hours and hours even this morning in that rain." Angela was crying again and she moved to hug Alice who looked devastated.

I felt my legs turn to jelly. How could I have missed that? I was too wrapped up in myself and how I was feeling, that I failed to see just how scared she was. I sat down on the stool and closed my eyes. I pictured him with her shoved up against the door, pictured him forcing his lips on hers and balled my fists in response.

Alice and Angela were still upset and the rest of the guys were hovering awkwardly. Unsure of what to do or say. I needed to leave the bar, I needed to go home and think.

"I'm heading home. I can't stay here, I feel like my head's going to explode." I stood and nodded towards the others. I didn't disturb Angela or Alice, I wasn't good with hugging people other than my family and Bella of course.

As I readied myself for the rain and cold I felt someone on either side. Seth and Garrett followed me out into the street.

"I told you before, I don't need a babysitter," I spat and marched off.

"No you don't, Edward. But you do need a friend or two and that's what we're here for." Seth slapped my shoulder and then shoved his hands into his pockets.

I nodded appreciatively and we walked quickly home. All the way I was re-reading her letter in my head, hearing her voice say each word. It made so much more sense now. But in truth, thinking she hadn't loved me would have made getting over her that much easier. Now I knew she did love me, and she was only leaving to spare me, the journey back to "normal" was going to be even longer.

So find her...tell her you won't let her walk away.

As we approached my building I noticed Malcolm hovering halfway down the steps with an umbrella in his hand.

"Why doesn't he just wait inside the door. Surely no one's going to expect him to stand outside in this weather?" Garrett wondered aloud.

I looked at his stance, he was off centre with the umbrella, his left hand extended slightly, almost as though he was holding it over someone else. I let my line of sight drop and sure enough there was someone sitting on the steps beside him. Who the hell would sit outside in the rain and cold? I could see from here that whoever it was, was dripping wet and shivering. In fact they weren't even wearing a coat, nothing more than a denim jacket.

Suddenly, as the face of the person came into view, I realised who it was and froze in the middle of the side-walk.

"Bella?"

A/N Did you think I'd just let her leave?

Thanks to prettyflour for prereading and to you guys for reading, reviewing, alerting etc. You're a million kinds of wonderful!

Next chapter tomorrow...promise...but right now I have to sleep or the chances of me falling asleep in the toilet at work are highly probable!

Bye!

Katy

xx