Me: *Angelic Choir sings 'Kumbaya'* PRAISE THE LAWD, I HAVE UPDATED (relatively) ON TIME!
Matt: *sways in praise to the Gods of Nintendo*
Me: YES. Anyway, I had gotten MANY epic reviews about the last chapter. The winner? This review:
sakura1243: Alright. So I was sitting there. Thinking again. And I thought two things.
1. We really should be worried about darling Mello. He has burnt pudding monsters appearing in his dreams. Yes, that thing was burnt pudding come to life. Don't question it.
2. Our brains' eyes are going to start bleeding from the beautiful and disturbing image you gave us of Matt singing Single Ladies. I'm (for some crazy reason) hoping he did the dance along with it.
I love you, and good night.
Me: I died with laughter reading this. DIED. And Mello revived me ;D BUT SERIOUSLY, WILLY, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN EATING TO HAVE SUCH FRIGHTENING DREAMS?
Mello: YOU. DON'T. FEED. US.
Me: *cough* YES I DO. And speaking of epic reviews, you see what happens when you think? Cool shit happens, man. You should try it more often....MATT.
Matt: NO, YOU'RE THE STUPID BANANA HEAD *pouts*
Me: ....ANYWAY, on with awesome reviews:
escape-into-myself: "Come; sit down, Matt. We need to have a talk." Oh Matt and Mello are going to talk about the 'birds and the bees' aren't they? Too late Mello :D
And when you said that we can think what we want about what happened in the bedroom, I thought that they went to make the bed. Way to spoil my innocence Misseh... Jk I'm pretty awful
And I still love you. It's our two chapter anniversary :)
Me: OHOHOHOHOHHO MATT YOU FILTHY BOY. And I beg for forgiveness from anyone whose innocence I have destroyed *smirk* AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ALL MY REVIEWER WIVES/HUSBANDS~
Dear_Mimi: I know what kind of screwed-up seven year old wants to try weed. One who has been sniffing Sharpies.
Fee: .........I REGRET NOTHINGGGGGG (AGAIN) *is rescued by L swinging on a vine in a Batman costume*
Matt: FEE, NO! THE ONLY MAN IN TIGHTS AND A LEOTARD THAT YOU CAN FROLIC AROUND WITH IS FREAKING ME!!!!
Me: MATT, YOU ARE NOT A SINGLE LADY.
Matt: ....W-WHAT?! *bursts into tears*
Me: Lololol For those who understand what video reference I just made, you get a cookie C: ALSO, speaking of references: To kirabbit: YES, Matt's little dancing escapade WAS, in fact, a Glee reference to Kurt xD And to Amaya-Ai: THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH FOR YOUR SUPER LONG REVIEWS. They were not any trouble, and I enjoyed reading them :D
Mello: Misseh does not own Death Note or its characters. She does own the OC, Fee. *guzzles wine*
Me: OH, RIGHT: In this chapter, please excuse Mello's incoherent drunk-speak. He's RETARDED *wacks Mello on the head*
Twenty-One: Torn
He refused to believe it.
"N-No," Matt stuttered, standing up slowly from where he sat beside a drunken Mello. "I can't. I won't. You won't."
How could things change so quickly? How could he go from feeling on top of the world to feeling as though his entire chest was hallowed out viciously by the utterance of a few words?
Mello picked up one of the bottles nearest to the bed; swirling the contents left at the bottom. "Wake up early tuh-morrow, buhfur Fee does," he said, his words slurred. "Ya only job izztuh dis-s-stract those Neanderthals of bodyguards…," he murmured, trailing off.
Matt's eyes were wide and frantic; his mind searched for every possible reasoning behind Mello's plans, as well as another way out. When he found none, he resorted to the next best thing: blame.
"H-How…how could you even think of something like this?! Is….Is death the best thing you could think of? How the fuck does this help anyone?!"
Matt's face became red with rage. The more and more he realized what taking this action meant, the more the pain inside him swelled. He clenched his fists as he leaned forward in a threatening stance; his expression dared Mello to give an answer.
Mello closed one eye, examining the bottle for any remaining wine. He took a long swig before setting it down, watching as it fell over and rolled across the dusty floor. His eyes remained locked on it as he opened his mouth to speak.
"This…what we're about tuh do…it's gonna help everyone. It'll finally end the whole case. Dun go thinkin' it's selfish… I'm doing this tuh bring down Kira; fuh those who live in constant fear; fuh the….the innocent. Fuh people like you, fuh people like Fee….fuh everyone."
Matt leaned back a bit, unclenching his fists. He ground his teeth together; the stress physically straining. Mello's bloodshot eyes slowly made their way up to meet with Matt's, showing the slightest bit of remorse; a silent apology.
"I dun care about dying; I ain't afraid," he hiccupped. "But I'm so sick of watching everything around me do so. I dun wanta be a failure anymore; I dun wanta be second best. I want to be a winner, one way or another."
Matt's eyebrows scrunched together. "You'll be doing more harm than good."
Mello cleared his throat, shaking his head. "I've got the chance….to prove I'm worth something; that I did somethin' that made an impact. Ya can bet your ass I'm gonna take it."
The blonde managed to stand on his own wobbly feet in order to meet Matt eye to eye. "Matt, you promised me a long time ago that you'd be there…when I needed you. I need you now."
All the raw anger etched on the redhead's face vanished for a split moment; his eyes softened with pity for his friend. His friend; one whom he swore he would proudly stand beside. Moral obligation and intense loyalty pushed him forward, but the regret in his heart held him back.
A promise is a promise….sometimes, regardless the consequences.
Time seemed to slow down as Matt reared his fist back, bringing it forward again to smash dead-on with Mello's face. The blonde collapsed onto the bed behind him, clutching his face in pain as blood dribbled down his chin. Matt's expression was stern as he glared him down; hatred tinting his eyes that once would always gleam with a certain hidden happiness.
"Fine. You've got your fucking promise and your fucking chance to play 'hero'. I hope you're happy."
Mello watched in a daze as Matt stormed out the room, slamming the door behind him.
It was set: The following morning, they were to kidnap Kiyomi Takada , with the knowledge they probably would not come back.
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Mello knew he was not the villain.
Even as sat on the edge of his bed, listening to the sounds of his friend sobbing outside Fee's door from just down the hallway, he knew he had not done anything wrong. He didn't want death; never had he intended for there to be such sadness. All he wanted, all he ever needed, was to be worth something; to have all the pain, struggles, and efforts of his past have some meaning.
If no one else will do it, then I have to. There's no turning back.
The blonde tilted his head back, closing his eyes to listen to the faint sounds of church bells in the distance.
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It was peaceful.
This was the first thing Fee could remember before anything else when Matt entered her room in the evening. Lost in her dreams, she felt absolutely nothing; for once in her life, she was numb to all the darkness, to all the bad that caused her pain. The movie screen just behind her eyelids replayed memories over and over, and, though the room itself was silent, she could hear beautiful music; a medley of violins and a piano in perfect harmony.
She was stirred by the creaking of her bed as Matt took a seat beside where she lay. He leaned over her, moving his hand to gently brush hair away from her eyes. Those same eyes fluttered open to stare at him, still half-lid.
"Matt?" she mumbled, stretching her arms towards the ceiling while yawning. "What's up?"
He forced a smile, though his eyes were sad as he continued to look down on her. His hand alighted on her cheek; treating her as though she were made of fragile, priceless porcelain, and marveling her appearance as though he'd seen her for the first time in years. Fee's eyebrows scrunched together, her previous peace shattered by the sense of wrong that Matt exuberated.
Slowly, she propped herself up on her elbows, never taking her eyes off him. "Matt, what is it?"
The redhead said nothing, but simply leaned in and captured her lips with his. Keeping his eyes closed, he brushed his lips against her cheek and buried his face in the nape of her neck. Fee squeaked slightly in surprise, her face turning a light shade of pink while she tried to keep her composure.
"M-Matt, please; tell me what's bugging you!" she insisted, softly pushing back on his shoulders to look him in the eyes. Once again, he forced a smile as he took her hand in his; toying with her fingers.
"When I was little, I always went unnoticed, no matter what I did. Even when I was acknowledged, it was always for being 'the quiet freak'", he said suddenly, staring down at Fee's hand in his. "Being 'different' was defined as bad because of this. But, never would I have imagined that kicking a bush one afternoon in autumn would change all that."
This time, Matt smiled genuinely, and he finally lifted his face. Fee blinked twice, her expression wavering between embarrassment and happiness.
"You were awkward yet perfect; fearless yet shameful; harsh and demanding, yet generous and gentle. I was fascinated at how….how you just didn't give a shit, and you made weird look so damn good," he continued. "I loved you then, love you now, and will love you in the future because you just don't fit in with what's acceptable, and neither do I."
Fee grinned shyly, tilting her head to the side. "Doesn't that mean that, in a way, we do fit in somewhere? Two people who are the same, even if they are misfits to everyone else, fit in with each other, stupid."
Matt's smile broadened as he gave off a little laugh. "I guess you're right."
This smile soon faded, however, and was replaced with a slight frown. Matt's gaze flickered downwards again to stare at Fee's hand, whose fingers were laced with his.
"B-But…the thing is, love makes you insane; particularly so with you. Love makes you want to give up everything for the other person's sake."
The sparks of happiness inside Fee's chest were replaced with gnawing worry as she reached out to grab Matt's face, pulling him to look at her. He couldn't make eye contact with her as his eyes welled with burning tears. Cerulean eyes went wide as she stared at him; searching so desperately for what was causing such pain so that she could fix it. She wanted to fix it…
"S-Sometimes…," he choked. "Sometimes people have to make sacrifices for the ones they love, even if it means giving up their life."
Matt's save-face had finally been broken as he practically dove to embrace Fee in his arms. She held him tightly as he shook slightly against her; quietly sobbing.
"….Fuck, I'm so sorry," he said against the fabric of her shirt. "I'm the one who….who has to say 'Everything will be ok'. I…..damn it, I'm scared; n-not of dying, but of leaving you. This p-plan Mello has tomorrow, to kidnap Takada….I don't….I don't know anymore."
Fee didn't utter a sound as she wrapped her arms more protectively around Matt; her trembling fingers entangled in his ruby locks. She stared at the wall over his shoulder expressionlessly.
She wanted to fix it.
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Hair dye. Scissors. Bandage gauze. Contacts.
Fee stared herself in the cracked bathroom mirror, wiping at the dried tracks of her tears that marked her cheeks. She gave a hard stare at her reflection before glancing over her shoulder to look at Matt, who slept soundly on her bed; curled into a protective cocoon of blankets.
It was 4 a.m. when Fee shut the bathroom door and got to work, making sure not to wake anyone up.
That's right, Matt. Sometimes people have to make sacrifices for the ones they love.
Even if it means giving up their life.
"This crash is coming slowly, move or watch the slow death of your way of life. There's a science to fear; it plagues my mind and it keeps us right here..." -"Science of Fear" by The Temper Trap.
A/N: FFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT I AM KEEPING. MY. MOUTH. SHUT. ABOUT THIS CHAPTER.
Mello: FINALLY!
Me: *wacks Mello on the head again*HOWEVER, I will answer some frequently asked questions about the progressing plot: YES, you will eventually learn Fee's real name. No, I can't really say how long the fic will be right now, but it's certainly longer than Artificial was. Also, MAYBE (I WILL NOT SPOIL) Fee may meet more characters like Light. And eat him.
Matt: HALLELUJAH.
Me: SPEAKING OF GLORIOUS-NESS, I BEAR A MESSAGE FROM A GOOD FRIEND AND REVIEWER:
GiggleParade: Missy's Blank Canvas is being turned into a feature film. Just kidding, that's next on the agenda in fifty years when we actually meet. But for now, there will be an AMV. Since this is not an anime, though, we are calling on the fans to send in every single piece of fanart, and if anyone is gangsta enough to do a cosplay video WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Video will be to the Fallen by Franz Ferdinand if that helps.
Me: ISN'T. THAT. FRIGGIN--
Matsu: BOOTYLICIOUS.
Me: .....YEAH, SURE, BOOTYLICIOUS! So, PLEASE, send in whatever you've got to my email (which is on my FF profile) to make this work! :DDD
Matsu: *chirps*