CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Once they were out of earshot of the rest of the guards, Nathaniel turned to Brianna.
"I'm glad you remembered my request, but there was no need for you to accompany me."
"Since we're here, I thought I would check with the Mayor and the City Guards to see how Amaranthine is recovering."
"Yes, I had heard you saved the city. Is there anything you can't do?"
"I couldn't save Vigil's Keep," she responded quietly. "I couldn't save the Grey Wardens stationed there."
Nathaniel furrowed his brow. "I don't understand."
"Both Amaranthine and Vigil's Keep were under attack by hordes of darkspawn. I couldn't save both. I had to choose and I chose to save Amaranthine. That meant that Vigil's Keep…and everyone there…had to fight the siege on their own."
Nathaniel shook his head. "Maybe I'm missing something, but how much could you have done to save Vigil's Keep?"
"Both had such a small contingent of fighters. Each could have used every man. I could have made a difference wherever I went. But I thought, in the greater scheme of things, that saving Amaranthine was more important." She looked at Nathaniel. "Didn't you see the devastation at The Vigil when you were there? That was from the siege."
"I had always wondered why the place was in shambles," he remarked.
"That's why," she replied. "But don't worry. I won't join you while you visit your sister. I'll be staying at The Crown and Lion Inn. Meet me there the day after tomorrow around dawn and we will return to Denerim."
"Do you not trust me to return on my own?" he asked.
Brianna smiled, "As I said, I have business in Amaranthine. It just happens to coincide with your request."
They rode into the city in silence. As they entered Amaranthine, Brianna was surprised at the city which lay before her. No longer being plagued by smugglers, bandits or darkspawn, the city appeared to be thriving. The new Bann had pledged his loyalty to the crown and was rewarded for his fealty. There were always the nagging rumors that the death of the previous Bann, Bann Esmerelle, had been no accident, but an assassination due to her plotting to overthrow Brianna when she was the Commander of the Grey. The former Bann and others had been loyal to Arl Howe, the Arl of Amaranthine and had taken offense to Brianna killing him. They wanted vengeance not only for his death, but for the change in their wealth. Without Howe, their fortunes had shifted greatly and a large amount of money had been lost. They wanted to assassinate Brianna and put one of their own in charge. It was not to be. She learned of the plot and foiled it. Brianna had never publicly accused the Bann of any wrongdoing. But not too longer after Brianna had returned to Denerim, the Bann met an untimely death which caused the rest of the nobles in the area to rethink their loyalties and agree to support the King, Queen and Grey Wardens fully. They were rewarded for their loyalty, they believed, with their lives.
Nathaniel and Brianna rode towards the market square. Brianna had told Nathaniel that his sister Delilah had married a merchant. He thought it would be best to inquire after her from other shopkeepers. As they rode, Nathaniel spied a tall woman with dark hair who had just exited a shop. She was tidying the storefront. As she turned, Nathaniel recognized his sister.
"Delilah!" he called out.
The woman looked around when her name was called, then saw the man on a horse waving to her and riding towards her. As he came closer, she recognized her brother. A large grin spread across her face. Nathaniel stopped in front of her and hopped off his horse, then gave his sister a huge hug. She returned the gesture.
"Nathaniel! It is you! It's so good to see you! When did you arrive from the Free Marches?"
"It's a long story," he began.
"Well, you must come inside and tell me then come home with me to stay."
"I would love to, but I must return to Denerim the day after tomorrow."
"Nonsense; you've only just arrived! Surely you can stay…"
"No, I can't. I have…my duties..." he began and gestured towards Brianna. Delilah looked up to see the Queen watching the scene before her. Brianna approached them.
"Hello Delilah. Yes, I'm afraid Nathaniel is correct. He needs to return to Denerim with me in two days."
"Your Majesty," Delilah said and curtsied. "How did you…?
"I will leave the two of you to visit." She turned to Nathaniel. "I am at The Crown and Lion if you need anything." She did not wait for a response but put her horse into a trot and went about her business.
Nathaniel watched her ride away, then tied his horse and followed his sister into the shop for a much overdue visit.
Brianna's first stop was to visit the Mayor who was surprised, but honored by her visit. She spoke with him briefly and learned the city was recovering nicely from the darkspawn invasion and the smugglers' incursion. The new Commander of the Grey, who was the city's Arl, had visited a few times to assure that reconstruction was going well and the new Bann fought tirelessly for the city's people. Brianna was happy to hear the news. She bid the Mayor farewell and visited the Commander of the City Guards who echoed the Mayor's words. Any trouble in the city was of the normal type for urban life. The city, for the most part, was back to normal. With such good news, Brianna rode to The Crown and Lion Inn, stabled her horse and entered the establishment.
Nathaniel entered the shop owned by his sister and brother-in-law. It was a modest place with clothing and household items. Delilah motioned for Nathaniel to sit. He took a chair and she sat opposite.
"You're looking well, Delilah," Nathaniel began.
"So are you. When did you return from the Free Marches?"
"A few months ago."
"You heard about Father," Delilah said. It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yes. That's why I came back…and how I'm working for the Queen."
"I was wondering about that," his sister said. Nathaniel gave a heavy sigh and told Delilah all he had done since his visit to Vigil's Keep. Her face never wavered and she kept silent until he was finished.
"You're lucky she didn't hang you," Delilah finally remarked. "She would have been well within her right, you know."
"I know."
"It was foolish of you."
"Yes. I should never have even made the effort to kill…"
"No, you shouldn't have, but that's not what I meant. You were foolish to even think about defending Father's honor. He had no honor, Nathaniel, or have you forgotten everything."
"I…"he began, but Delilah interrupted.
"Father was a terrible man. He slaughtered the Couslands for no reason other than power. I…I was ashamed to be a Howe." She dropped her head. "What Father did…was unforgivable," she whispered and then told Nathaniel about the civil war and the Blight; their Father's intimate activities during those events; activities that were tyrannical.
"I…I did not know," Nathaniel said after she had finished her tale. "I thought those stories about Father were exaggerated."
Delilah shook her head slowly, "No. But why should they have surprised you? You saw his cruelty first-hand; still bear its scars."
"But…they stripped you of your title…your land…our lands…"
"What did that matter? I rarely spent a happy moment at Vigil's Keep. It was always so dark and dank. I never forgot that we lived in a fortress. It was never a home. But now," she began, "I am married to a wonderful man who loves me and I love him. We are happy; I am happy for the first time in ages. We live modestly; are upstanding members of the community and will be parents soon." She smiled shyly as she announced this news.
"A child?" Nathaniel asked.
Delilah nodded, "In the Spring."
Nathaniel gazed at his sister. She was positively glowing. He had never seen her so happy and so radiant in quite a long time. "You do seem content, Delilah."
"I am, Nathaniel. Don't blame Brianna for what happened to Father. She did what she had to do. Father brought his Fate upon himself. I hold no grudges or bear her ill will. I suggest you do the same, Brother."
Nathaniel nodded, then smiled, "So when do I get to meet this husband of yours?"
"Once we're finished here we can go home. He should be back from his travel by that time and then you can meet him and stay with us for a couple of days, at least."
"Tonight and tomorrow, then I must escort the Queen back to Denerim."
"So we shall make this visit count. But surely, she will let you come back once the baby is born."
"I'm sure she will if I ask and don't get into too much trouble."
"Good. Help me around here and then we shall go home. Oh, it's so good to see you Nathaniel!" Delilah exclaimed and gave her brother a hug. He returned the gesture then helped his sister finish the duties in the shop before heading home for supper.
Brianna gazed around the tavern. It was just as she remembered, although a bit more crowded than during her last visit. She saw the barkeep had been replaced, but everything else appeared to be the same. She walked up to the bar and ordered wine, then casually looked around. She spotted a lone figure at a back table, trying to be inconspicuous. He was doing a poor job of it. Brianna smiled and walked up to the man.
"You'd make a terrible rogue, Cade," she said, teasing him.
"Yes, ma'am," he replied with a grin.
She took the chair next to him; their backs against the wall so they both could keep an eye on the tavern and its patrons.
"Did Cedric order you here?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, that made it easier for you to follow my orders."
"Yes."
"The why aren't you with Nathaniel?"
Cade took a long drink before replying, "He was with his sister at their shop. They have now returned home and he is visiting them. Most likely he will stay the entire night there."
"So what can you tell me about Nathaniel Howe?" she asked.
Cade leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure he knows who he is or where he's going. I get the sense that he feels he needs to avenge his father because he should not because he wants to do it. Their relationship seems to have been…complicated."
"Complicated…that's a good word for it. Do you remember their visits to Highever?"
"I do."
"You remember the boy Nathaniel was. Has he turned into the man I think he is? Alistair believes not. He is certain that Nathaniel is as vile as Rendon. While I don't believe he's as bad as all that, he did feel this sense of family obligation. Have I misjudged him, Cade? Am I wrong about Nathaniel Howe?"
Cade took several minutes before responding. "While my gut tells me you are correct, Your Majesty, I have seen no proof either way. Nathaniel Howe just seems to be."
Brianna gazed at Cade, "I cannot afford any dissent amongst our ranks; not now." As she spoke her hand inadvertently moved to rest on her abdomen. Cade noticed the gesture but said nothing. "So you will need to continue your duty and stay by Nathaniel's side until we can determine if he is friend or foe."
"Of course, Your Majesty." Cade stared at Brianna and saw how tired she looked. "Ma'am, why don't you go up to your room and rest. I will have the kitchen prepare something and bring it up to you."
For a brief moment, Brianna looked relieved to rely on the man. But then the mantle of command was back on her face. "That is a good idea. We travelled a great distance today and it has made me more tired than I thought."
She began to rise. Cade jumped up and offered her his hand, then escorted her upstairs, depositing her in her room. He then had the kitchen make a tray of food for her and brought it to her. He took his post outside her room and guarded her until morning when her orders to him were to find and be with Nathaniel Howe. He would obey her until his dying breath.
The day passed uneventfully for Nathaniel, Cade and Brianna. Nathaniel spent the day with his family with Cade watching in the shadows. Brianna stayed in her room and allowed her body the rest it so needed. It felt good to be out of her armor and just in a chemise, the pressure against her body gone. She wondered how long she could keep her condition a secret and thought perhaps she should tell Alistair when she returned. She did not relish going through this event alone. But what effect would the taint have on her unborn child? Would it become some monster? Have some features of a darkspawn? Would it become immune to the taint? Or would its lifespan be as short as her s? Thirty years and then…The Calling. Was it responsible to bring a tainted child into the world? Or would the taint not affect the child at all? She wished Avernus would leave Soldier's Peak and stay with her at the palace. She trusted no one else to guide her through this pregnancy.
She thought about what would happen when news of her pregnancy was announced. Any enemy of hers and Alistair's might feel a sense of urgency to make a move against them. A child of Theirin and Cousland blood would almost surely be guaranteed the Throne of Ferelden. There was always the possibility that the Landsmeet would choose another to be King or Queen, but it was highly unlikely. Hers and Alistair's reign, so far, had been a good one that was bringing prosperity and security back to Ferelden. But there was never any guarantee that the child would be as good or better than the parent. Brianna sighed. This should be a happy time and her mind was fraught with nothing but worries. She decided to be silent until she returned to Denerim. Once home, she would re-evaluate and decide what to do.
Early the following morning, Nathaniel was waiting for Brianna in the tavern room of The Crown and Lion Inn. She came down to find him sitting at one of the tables. As soon as he saw her, he jumped up from his chair and came towards her. To Brianna's trained eye, Nathaniel seemed to be standing taller, straighter and more confident. He saluted her as she approached.
"If you are ready, Your Majesty, we can leave at your command." His tone was more respectful than usual.
"I am anxious to be on the road," Brianna replied. Dante barked in agreement.
"Then let us be off. The horses are outside waiting for us." Nathaniel moved out of her way to let her pass and then walked behind her, an uncharacteristic move for him. He usually tried to walk by Brianna's side.
Brianna was puzzled by Nathaniel's behavior, but said nothing. She would see if the ride to Denerim would shed some light on his manner. They climbed into their saddles and made their way out of the city and on the road to Denerim, Dante by his mistress' side with Nathaniel riding behind. It made Brianna uneasy with him behind her. They traveled until mid-morning in that fashion until she could stand it no longer. She finally stopped her horse and turned slightly to face Nathaniel.
"I would prefer it if you rode next to me," she said.
"Of course," he replied and moved beside her. Satisfied, she put her horse into a cantor and Nathaniel did the same.
Most of the ride was conducted in silence. They would periodically stop to water and rest the horses, then be back in the saddle heading towards the Capitol. They had not yet stopped to eat and Brianna was feeling the pain of that decision. Around mid-afternoon, she asked Nathaniel to stop. She needed to eat and rest. He found a safe clearing and they dismounted from the horses. Brianna looked in her pack for the small staples she had bought from the innkeeper before they traveled. She sat underneath a tree, her back resting against the trunk and began to eat. Nathaniel had taken a place near her so he could watch their surroundings while they ate. He, too, pulled a few staples from his pack and began to eat. Brianna had saved a lamb bone for Dante who was now enjoying the tasty treat.
Nathaniel watched Brianna as she ate. He was thinking over everything that Delilah had said. He thought about the stories concerning his father's actions. Perhaps Brianna wasn't the monster in this tale, as he always thought. Perhaps she was exactly what everyone said she was; a hero. Gazing at her, remembering their times together as children, and knowing how his father was, Nathaniel came to a decision. And he knew, in his heart, it was the right one.
"Brianna," Nathaniel began, wondering if he was going to be scolded for calling her by her name. She looked at him earnestly. There was no rebuke for his familiarity. "It seems I was…wrong…about the…deeds of my Father. He was the bastard everyone claimed that he was. I always…I knew that he was, having lived with him for most of my life. But being away made my memory very skewed and selective. I'm sorry about your family. It was irreprehensible what my Father did. For that…and many other things…you were…justified in killing him. I am…sorry…I ever doubted you or your character. And I apologize for even thinking about assassinating you. Please forgive me. I want to serve you to the best of my ability and shall continue to be one of your guards, if you will continue to have me."
Brianna stared at Nathaniel. She never thought she would ever get an apology out of him for anything. But he seemed very sincere. "What changed your mind?" she asked.
"Delilah. In speaking with her about everything, she confirmed that all you…and others…had told me was true."
Brianna smiled, "Apology accepted and of course I want you as one of my guards. You and Cade are the best soldiers I have and I am going to need the best to protect me in the coming months."
"When I took my oath of fealty to you, I didn't mean a word of it. But now," Nathaniel knelt in front of Brianna and humbly bowed his head, "I pledge to you my loyalty, my honor and my sword. I shall protect and defend you until my dying breath."
Brianna was surprised at Nathaniel's turn of countenance. She was also impressed at the sincerity in his voice. "Thank you, Nathaniel. This means a great deal to me."
"As it does to me, Your Majesty," he said with new loyalty and respect in his voice. "But we should not dally here too much longer, Your Majesty. It would be better if we were moving towards Denerim."
"Yes, you are right. We should be moving on," she agreed and began to rise. Nathaniel offered her his hand and she gladly accepted it. With his help, she climbed into the saddle and in a few moments, they were back on the road to Denerim.
Brianna, Nathaniel and Dante arrived in Denerim very late. They should have stopped and made camp to rest the horses, but both were eager to get back to the palace. When they entered the courtyard, they were greeted by a very relieved Alistair. He didn't wait for a page to help Brianna. When she stopped, he came down and helped her out of the saddle. She nearly collapsed against him, she was so tired. Her body was paying the price for their quickened pace.
"Thank the Maker you're alright," Alistair exclaimed as he placed his arms around Brianna. "When your guards returned without you, I was sick with worry. I almost rode to Amaranthine after you." He kissed the top of her head. "But now you're back home and safe. And we can talk about this incident tomorrow."
"Yes, tomorrow. Good night, Nathaniel and thank you."
Nathaniel had dismounted and was waiting to be dismissed, "Yes, Your Majesty. Good-night," he said as he saluted. He watched Alistair walk Brianna into the palace and towards their rooms. Nathaniel stretched then went to the barracks for a nice hot bath and then the comfort of his own bed, never feeling happier to be at the palace than he did at this moment.
Before Brianna retired, she sent word to the palace watchmen to be on the look-out for Cade and to let him in when he arrived. He did so not too longer after Brianna and Nathaniel. He too was looking forward to a bath and bed.
The next day, Brianna was able to wiggle her way out of a potential argument with Alistair over her sudden stop in Amaranthine. She didn't mention Nathaniel's sudden change of heart where she was concerned for she knew he'd never believe it. Alistair would need to tangible proof before he would claim Nathaniel Howe as an ally and not a foe.
The next four weeks passed by without any issues or incidents. Brianna's morning sickness was gone and she seemed to have more energy. She was still eating nearly everything in sight, but didn't seem to be gaining too much weight. Until now. This one particular morning, when she awoke she felt as if she had swallowed an entire Orlesian-style buffet. She threw on her robe and then gazed at herself in the mirror. Her face, arms and legs still appeared normal, but her abdomen seemed to have exploded overnight. Brianna untied part of her robe and gazed at her semi-nude form. She slowly caressed her abdomen. Unless she decided to stay in her room for the rest of her pregnancy, she would need to let everyone know. She was nervous. So far, she hadn't felt ill or bad since her first trimester. She thought things were progressing normally. It was nearly time for her to return to Soldier's Peak to brief the troops and have Avernus exam her. But first things first, she needed to get dressed. She peeled off her robe and threw it on the bed, then turned to her wardrobe. She started going through every piece of clothing she had, discarding one after the other. As she was standing there contemplating her clothing dilemma, she was unaware that Alistair had entered their room. He was now leaning against the bedpost, staring at her, his face revealing his love for her. His gaze roamed over her naked body and rested on her protruding abdomen. He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled.
"Putting on a bit of weight I see," he said. Brianna, surprised to hear her husband's voice, grabbed her robe and quickly covered her ever-growing body. Alistair chuckled, then walked behind her, wrapping her lovingly in his arms. "Don't worry, darling. I love your protruding belly because I love you so very much." He dropped a kiss on her shoulder. Brianna decided it was time. She removed his arms from around her and turned to face him.
"Alistair, I have something to tell you."
"I hope this won't take too long. I snuck away from Eamon and I'm sure he'll be on his way here looking for me once he notices I'm no longer in the room."
Brianna took a deep breath. "Perhaps you should sit down," she suggested and taking his hand, led him to a chair.
"Oh, this is bad news, isn't it? That's what I get for being King. Well, come on, tell me, I can take it."
"You really should sit down for this, darling. Please."
Her tone was so sincere that Alistair took a seat and waited for her to speak. Brianna stared at her husband, but couldn't formulate the right words. Alistair saw her struggling to speak, a very uncommon occurrence for her. Whatever she had to say was important. He took her hands in his. "Sweetheart, just tell me. It can't be as bad as all that. Now, what is it?" he asked, smiling.
She stared at him, then looked down. "You're right, I have put on some weight, but there is a very good reason for that." She paused, then looked Alistair in the eyes, a loving smile on her face. "I know this is going to be hard to believe. I still can't believe it myself, but…Alistair, I'm pregnant."