I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyers does.

Chapter 21

Bella sat with Rose, Alice, Esme and Char. They were busy chatting about their significant others. Alice seemed to glow with happiness as she gave more details than Bella wanted to know about her new found mate. She found herself blushing repeatedly.

"Are you going to get married?" Char asked.

Alice gave a huge sigh. "I'm not sure...You know I love the idea a beautiful dress...all eyes on me..." She trailed off with a dreamy sigh. "I don't need it though I know it would be a trial for Felix and I want to give him time to get used to being around all of us. I'm happy." She said.

Bella knew she was trying to be considerate of her mate and she smiled at her friend. Char exchanged a look with Rose, Bella had no doubt a bug would be put in Felix's ear soon. They would make sure he knew Alice's wish, even if she wouldn't say anything.

"What about you Bella? Any plans for marriage?" Esme asked her eyes boring into Bella.

She fidgeted. Honestly she wasn't sure how she felt about it. She had an aversion to marriage, thanks to her mother. Jasper hadn't asked and Bella found herself perversely wishing he would. She didn't know how she would answer but she would like to know he wished to marry her. She would like a ring on her finger and on his proclaiming them to all that they belonged to each other.

She looked at Esme closely. Esme had wanted her to marry Edward. Was she upset with her? She didn't want to hurt her.

Char snorted. "We're vampires we have so much more of a bond than a human marriage." She said rescuing Bella from the uncomfortable confrontation. Bella smiled at her but her smile faded to a huge blush at what Char asked next.

"Has he claimed you yet?" She asked her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I've always imagined the Major to be a bit violent...but with his gift he could make you like it and with those looks, commanding presence, and his mysterious silence that screams depth..." She trailed off.

Bella's blush was replaced by a look of anger. How dare Char imagine her Jasper in such a way. She actually growled. All the girls looked at her in shock but she was too angry to care. She stood up from her chair and stalked toward Char. She got right in the other woman's face.

"Don't ever say or think such things about my mate again." She gritted out. Char looked at her wide-eyed. Bella held her eyes with a glare, finally forcing the woman to look away and mutter apologies.

Bella turned away and stalked out the door. Her anger was not assuaged and she slammed the door behind her as she left the room. Felix hurried to follow her. Jasper had appointed him as her new guard and he slipped into the role with ease. She liked his strong, quiet presence. Especially at times like this.

The compound could be a dangerous place for a human. She had learned to be on her toes constantly. Felix relieved her of some of her worry and allowed her to gather her thoughts.

She shouldn't have gotten so angry at Char. She didn't understand why she had been so angry. It wasn't like her at all. Even now the thought of Char having such fantasies about her man made her want to go back in there and pull her hair out.

She supposed the problem was she was scared. Tomorrow was the big day. The day he would change her. She had been spending some time with the girls to help her with her nervousness. Jasper was busy changing her father at this moment. Then he was going to make sure everything was in order so he could spend the full three days of her change with her. She hadn't wanted to be alone, now she thought maybe she should have stayed by herself.

All their talk had only increased her anxiety. She was scared. What if she was a failure as a vampire? The Major was strong and loved. What if she was an embarrassment to him? Weak and pathetic, not worthy of the most powerful vampire in the south.

Bella reached her room and entered closing the door behind her, not giving Felix her usual thanks. She began to pace the floor as more fears surfaced in her mind. What if she didn't remember any of her human life? She picked up her cell phone and stared at it. She wanted her mother but didn't know if she should call her. Renee had never been one to comfort her. Still...

She dialed the numbers and sat down her fingers tapping on the desk as she waited for her to answer.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice answered.

Bella had forgotten what time it was. She looked at the clock and groaned. She was on vampire time now and slept in the day.

"Renee." She said clearing her throat. Now that she heard her mother's voice she didn't know what to say.

"Bella!" Her mother exclaimed. Bella heard her mother's happiness and smiled.

"Mom I..." Bella began but was cut off.

"You're never going to believe it Bella. I wanted to call you but I didn't have your number and I couldn't get a hold of Charlie." Renee said. Bella felt a twinge of guilt. She hadn't thought to give her mother her number. No that wasn't the truth. She hadn't wanted to give her mother her number.

"I'm pregnant Bells!" She exclaimed without preamble.

Bella's mouth dropped open in shock. All kinds of thoughts ran through her head. She was going to have a brother or sister. Would she be able to be around them? If she was a newborn she wouldn't be able to see the birth. Was this dangerous for her mother? She wasn't exactly young...

"...I wanted to give Phil a son or daughter. We are so happy, Bells. It's early days and Phil says I should keep the news a secret for a while till I'm past the third month but I just can't keep it in. Especially with you. I can't believe how lucky we are. I have so many plans. Maybe you could come and stay with us for a while. We could use some help with the baby. Phil is on the road so much..." Renee went on, but Bella tuned her out.

There was no way she was going to come play nanny for her mother. Not only would it be impossible as a newborn she had her own life now. She knew she wouldn't get a word in edge wise so she just let her mother ramble only paying half attention to her as her thoughts went in another direction.

Bella didn't even realise she was crying till she saw a teardrop land on the desk. She had never wanted a child and didn't now. She had spent her life caring for her childlike mother. That wasn't the cause of her tears. She was crying because she had wanted comfort from her mother and instead had gotten another worry.

She supposed it was selfish of her, but with such a major event happening in her life. Just this once she had hoped for a mother. She wiped her eyes and sat up straighter.

"Renee I have to go. Umm...I will call you when I can but things are happening right now that will make it difficult." Bella said interrupting her mother's chatter.

There was silence and Bella knew she had offended her. "I'm excited Renee and I will meet the baby when I can but right now..." She trailed off not sure how to explain. She couldn't tell her that she would be a blood thirsty, red-eyed vampire for a year.

"I don't know what could be so important you couldn't be there for me Bella." Renee said in a hurt voice.

Bella closed her eyes, she didn't even ask why she couldn't be there. It was typical but for some reason Bella still hoped for some sign that she cared for her.

"Renee I have to go. I promise I will call when I can." Bella said hanging up the phone. She shouldn't hang up on her but Bella didn't want to hear the guilt trip Renee was sure to lay on her.

She did feel bad and if it wasn't for the danger around her she might put off her change to be there for her. Renee was an adult and it was time for her to stop leaning on Bella. Guilt entered as she thought of her childhood and what she might be subjecting her sibling to. She shook her head trying to shake her thoughts away. She would do what she could for the baby but staying weak would not help. She needed to be strong to protect those around her and becoming a vampire would accomplish that.

Bella stood up and wandered over to the bed. She laid down on it, curling on her side and running her fingers over the extra pillow. A pillow that hadn't been used. What would it be like never to sleep again? She didn't like the idea. She liked sleep...the chance to rest and get away from the worries and troubles of life for a few hours. She knew Jasper worked long hours ruling his people. Did he ever get rest? Would she?

Her fingers went to the mark on her neck. She thought of Char's question. What would it be like? Rose talked about her sex life with Emmett. She talked about the different things they did. They were big into role-playing. Some of it was funny.

Char said her intimate encounters with Peter were full of fun and teasing but tender. Alice said her encounters were wild and passionate. Esme didn't talk about her and Carlisle, much to all the women's relief. None of them wanted to imagine Carlisle or Esme in such a way.

Bella and Jasper had kissed. The kisses were intense and made her feel things deep inside her but they hadn't gone any further. Bella was relieved and saddened by that. She wasn't a virgin. She had lost that to a boy in Arizona, Daniel.

She had been dating him for two months when he began to pressure her. She hadn't really wanted to do anything with him. His kisses and groping was clumsy and sometimes painful. In the end though she had given in. It hadn't been pleasant. It had been painful and awkward. He hadn't called her afterwards and she had been relieved.

She hadn't dated after that till Edward. Edward had been so beautiful and she had thought maybe she would try again. His kisses were cold but he wasn't as rough or inexperienced as Daniel. She wanted to experience what her mother talked about so she tried, but Edward constantly pushed her away. In retrospect she was glad, but it had played havoc with her self-esteem.

Bella touched her lips. Jasper's kisses were hot and passionate. Different from the others. Did that mean sex would be different? He had warned her that her desires would be stronger as a vampire. What did that mean? Would she jump him the first chance she got? Bella blushed, she couldn't imagine herself being so forward.

Bella turned over and closed her eyes. A picture of her protector, her hero and champion appeared in her mind's eye and she gave a sigh as she drifted into sleep.

Jasper nodded to Felix as he walked down the hall to his room. He was glad the man had joined them. His emotions were pleasant. Calm and confident. Jasper knew of his reputation and was glad to have him as Isabella's guard.

He entered his room quietly already knowing Isabella was sleeping. Everything had gone smoothly and Charlie was well on his way in the change. Carlisle, Emmett, and Morgan were watching him. Jasper would have rather had Erin there but respected Charlie's wishes.

Charlie hadn't flinched as he had bit him and injected his venom. He knew he was in pain but Charlie had endured it without a sign of the pain. The more he knew him the more he respected that man.

Jasper walked over to the bed and looked down at his sleeping mate. She was so beautiful...He sat down on the bed and pushed her hair back from her face. He was unable to stop. The need to touch her was growing daily and it was a struggle to keep his hands to himself.

She accepted his kisses readily and even some of his advances, but there was always some hesitation in her that held him back. It hurt him but he didn't push her. He would wait till she was ready. It would be harder after the change though.

She opened her sleepy eyes and smiled when she saw him. He was going to miss that. That honest smile and pleasure at being the first thing she saw when she woke. She put her hand on his and moved his palm to her lips, kissing it softly.

He knew she meant it as a loving gesture but fire ran through him and he tensed in an effort to control himself. She sensed his tension and sat up. She looked away from him and he wished that just once he could talk to her and explain how he felt, but he couldn't. His mind couldn't form the words and he was too afraid of offending her by sending her his desire.

"Is it time?" She whispered still not looking at him.

She was scared, he could feel it. Was she changing her mind?

"You don't have to do this." He told her. Her back stiffened and he felt her anger.

She stood up and turned around to face him, her eyes narrowed. She was in turmoil. She was angry, possessive, jealous and above all of it she felt desire. He looked at her confused what had caused these emotions. He hadn't been around any women to cause her jealousy.

"Why haven't you touched me?!" She demanded. He was more confused. He had kissed her, touched her. Did she want more? She had never indicated that.

"Is it because I'm not good enough? Like I wasn't for Edward? Or because I suck at it like Daniel said." She yelled.

Who the hell was Daniel? "Isabella I don't understand?" He asked genuinely confused.

She seemed to deflate and she sat back down on the bed. "You stiffened when I kissed your palm. You haven't tried to advance our physical relationship. I'm afraid." She whispered the last.

He didn't know what to say, so he waited for her to continue.

"What if I suck at being a vampire? What if I disappoint you as a mate? As a lover?" Again she whispered.

He finally understood her fear. He pulled her to him, setting her on his lap. He took her hand and kissed her palm. "When you kissed me like that I felt fire run through my veins." He told her huskily. He felt her shiver and kissed her wrist.

"Why then? Why havent we..." She asked.

He kissed the mark on her neck and she gasped. He moved his lips across her skin. "I didn't want to push things. I was waiting for you to be ready." He moved her hair aside and ran his tongue along her neck. She began to squirm in his lap. "I felt your desire..." He whispered the word in her ear then moved down to the juncture between her shoulder and neck. His hand rose and he ran a finger along the collar of her shirt. "It was always accompanied by fear so I didn't push."

He licked her collar-bone, then ran his nose along her neck breathing on her as he went back her ear. "Do you desire me Isabella?" He asked with a low growl. He heard her large intake of breath, then she breathed out a soft yes and her head fell back surrendering her neck to him. He had to stop himself from pushing her down and taking her right then. This would be about love. There would be plenty of chances for hot and fast, he was sure of it.

He took advantage of her bared neck, licking and sucking gently. Her soft sounds of pleasure fueled his fire. He took her hand and guided it to his groin. "This is what you do to me...Everytime I kiss you...Everytime you look at me with those beautiful eyes..." He whispered between kisses. He felt her desire rise and smelled her arousal. He let go of her hand, but she left it where he had put it.

He reached for the hem of her shirt and slowly lifted it over her head. She opened her eyes and he could see the desire in her heavy-lidded gaze. She smiled lazily and reached for his shirt. He let her bring it over his head and smiled back at her as she ran her finger down his chest. She liked what she saw and it made his male pride sing.

He reached for the zipper on her skirt. He wanted to see all of her. She didn't protest as he removed the rest of her clothes but he felt her embarrassment. He smiled as he bent low. He smelled her sex and moved up her body pausing at her breast. He waited feeling her anticipation grow, when it had reached its peak he reached out his tongue and licked her nipple. She gasped and arched into him. He grinned but didn't give in to her. Waiting would make the pleasure that much more.

She growled and looked over at him. She sat up and began fumbling with the snap on his jeans. Jasper decided to help her and stood up to remove them. She watched him as he slid them to the floor. He stood for a minute letting her examine him. What he didn't expect was for her to get up and walk to him hesitantly. He didn't move wanting to allow her, her moment.

She raised a hand to his cheek, gazing deeply into his eyes. Then she ran that hand down his chest, her eyes following the course of her hand till it reached its final destination. She touched him tentatively and he growled at the pleasure her touch gave him.

It was too much. He picked her up and put her on the bed. His hands became fevered as they ran over her body, touching and exploring every bit of her. His mouth left trails of kisses as he tasted her. She met his passion with a fire he had never experience before.

Finally he entered her warmth and held himself in check as he wanted to explode. She gasped in pleasure and pulled him into her. He growled in her ear and began to move slowly. Isabella wasn't having it though she urged him to go faster and he readily complied. They moved together in perfect harmony. He felt her tightening and knew it would be soon.

She exploded around him and he couldn't help himself as he lowered his mouth to her neck, biting. He tasted her blood and drank a bit before he let go. He injected his venom in her as he came. Their sounds of pleasure filled the room.

He lifted her wrist and bit again. She clenched around him and he injected more venom. "Jasper.." She groaned in pleasure. He lifted her other wrist and repeated the process.

"I love you." He whispered before moving off her and laying at her side. He pulled her close and as he laid on his side. She shuddered next to him as he ran his hand through her hair, murmuring words of comfort.