Chapter 20 Unending Pain

It's only been two days since the girls had defeated Andromeda, only two days… and no one could even celebrate over what had happened. A promise that everyone was to come home was broken, but it was that very sacrifice that allowed them to return but without Reina. It wasn't the same anymore, they would walk into the crown café expecting to see Reina in her shift or maybe in the arcade but every time they would, it only crush their hearts.

Reina's co-workers would always ask the girls about Reina but they didn't even know how they could answer that, so they would simply lie and say she left back home to America, after all how could they say that she was dead after a terrible battle.

As the girls sat there not even touching their drinks, they were heartbroken and they all looked towards Makoto who had sat away from them as she wanted to be alone but they knew better, they couldn't leave her alone.

"Has Mako-chan said anything yet?" Usagi asked her group.

"No, she hasn't spoken to us since we got back…" Ami said, "I can't imagine how she's feeling right now."

"Just give her time, I'm sure she bounce back." Mamoru said.

"Mamo-chan… it's not that easy," Usagi looked at him, "If I died, would you be able to move on so easily?"

He looked at her, how dumb his own words must have sounded, that was unlike him, "No you're right… I wouldn't be able to."

"Mako had finally found true love and she lost it…" Rei took a glance at Makoto but every time she would, she'd look away just as quickly or risk crying herself.

"It isn't fair," Minako hung her head, "We should have stopped her together, we could have stopped her together!"

"We don't know that Mina-chan," Ami jumped in, "Everything we did wasn't working that well, Reina-chan and Usagi-chan were able to harm Andromeda but it wasn't enough… for all we know Reina made the best move she could have."

"Ami-chan that's so cold…" Usagi looked at her.

"Gomen… but I don't know what else we could have done, you were wounded, we all were… Reina must have been acting on pure adrenaline after what Andromeda did to her."

"You all would have died if she didn't do what she did, sometimes life is to uncertain." Luna followed up, "I know it isn't easy but Reina gave her life so you all could keep going, and maybe she knew that you could finish her off if she somehow survived."

"How can you all just talk about her like that." Usagi looked at the two, "It's like you all don't care if Reina-chan died."

"It's not Usagi… it's just," Ami looked away, "I miss her… and I wish she didn't do that!"

Minako wiped away the water under her eyes, "Luna… was that her real power?"

"Her supernova? Yes, from what Setsuna said, that was her true attack… it comes with the cost of her life."

"Reina… you baka…" Minako looked away, deeply hurt that she lost a close friend but then again, they all were in pain.

Rei looked at Minako, held her hand and just began to cry softly… which, "Rei… if you start crying I'm gonna…" She didn't even finish her sentence as she too wept softly.

"I want her back…" Rei so softly said, "I'm gonna go." Rei stood with Minako following behind her and the two excused themselves, "Let's… meet up at Rei's to honor Reina's memory at her shrine." Minako added and Rei agreed that was a good idea.

"I'm going too." Ami stood up and followed the two.

Mamoru looked at Makoto then gestured to Usagi who got the hint rather quickly, "Go Usako, I'll be outside, she needs you right now."

Usagi nodded and walked over to where Makoto was sitting, her arms crossed and just stared outside, yet she wasn't crying.

"Mako…chan?"

Makoto glanced at her without turning her head but her gaze went back to the window, "May I join you?"

Silence.

So Usagi sat down anyway in front of her, "Mako-chan you have to talk to me, I can imagine what you must be feeling right now but… Reina would not want you to feel this way."

More silence.

"We're gonna have a little ceremony, to honor Reina-chan at Rei's shrine maybe you'd like to go."

"Alright."

The first words Makoto has ever said since they came back.

"Mako-chan, I'm not gonna say to move on or anything like that but I do want for you to feel better… even though it's not an easy thing, if I ever lost Mamo-chan, I don't know what I do."

"I appreciate what you're doing Usagi… but just leave me alone."

Usagi silently gasped but she wasn't too surprised by her response, "O-okay… I'll be going now but if you want to talk, i'm here." She stood and was about to leave,

"You don't know what it's like," Usagi stopped and looked at her, "I lost her… and I'm never getting her back," She then slammed her fist on the table, startling the blonde haired girl, "These past two days, I come back home and expect to see her there, waiting for me! Her usual cute voice to greet me," Her eyes watered up, her voice began to crack, it wasn't that hard for Usagi to hear, "But instead I come to empty house! And I still see her there! I still hear her there Usagi!" Makoto buried her face in her hands as she sobbed and Usagi didn't have the heart to leave her like that, she sat back down next to her and embraced her and Makoto welcomed it.

"If you'd like I can stay over your place Mako-chan?"

"Please… I need that, I can't be alone in that house anymore."

"I'll be there tonight, I promise."

Later that evening…

Makoto inserted the key into her apartment, she didn't even realize when she arrived to her home but she was there, almost in a trance. She twisted the door knob and walked inside her cozy home which at the moment wasn't so cozy.

"Mako! You're finally back!"

Makoto smiled, "Sorry I took so long I—" She stopped, she swore she heard Reina's cute voice in the room and her smile immediately dimmed as she looked around seeing nothing but an empty house. That's how she would usually greet her and then pounce on her, she loved Makoto's height, she loved how taller she was then her because then she could jump on her and play around with her.

Makoto bit her lip, trying her best to suppress her sorrow and instead walked over to the kitchen and thought about making something to eat, after all she hadn't eaten anything for the past two days. She took out the ingredients and placed them on the counter to start prepping them.

She grabbed the knife and the vegetable to get it ready to be sliced and as she pressed the blade down,

"Hey what you making?"

"Thinking of making a… stew…" There was her voice again, Makoto closed her eyes tightly as tears escaped her lashed and now, she just stopped what she was doing.

She finally began to realize that she just couldn't do this; she was forcing herself to get up and go out, to see her friends when all she wanted to do was stay at home. She missed Reina, it was like her heart was torn from her chest and stomped on right in front of her then shattered with a hammer for good measure, that's how she felt. She softly began to weep, she just couldn't keep this up, not now because she was just lying to herself that she'd be fine when she was not and left the room.

She walked over to her bedroom and as if she wasn't in pain enough, there were Reina's bags and backpack next to their bed from having moved in with her and that was when the blade cut deep into her pain. She fell to her knees and began to cry, she slowly crawled on the ground and grabbed Reina's backpack.

The moment she opened it she was immediately hit with the scent of coconuts, the very same body lotion that Reina loved to use. She took out one of Reina's long-sleeved shirts and her scent was all over it, Makoto continued ot cry as she brought it to her face and softly breathed in her scent and that very scent triggered more memories of the two together which broke her heart further and she wept louder.

"I still can't cut it like you can Mako! Cooking is so hard!" Makoto could still remember the first time she tried to teach Reina how to cook and… it was a disaster.

"I-i-it just takes p-practice..." She said to no one.

She clutched Reina's shirt closer to her chest and sobbed, the pain this brought to her was worse than any physical pain that she has ever felt and she wished it would stop.

Her trembling hands reached further in her backpack and pulled out a picture, it was a picture of Reina and her foster mother… god she missed Reina's face, her scarlet red hair, her lavender colored eyes… the feel of her skin, her scent, her smile, she missed everything about her.

Would she even be able to go on like this? Could she go on like this? For the first time Makoto had found her true love and then in an instant it was taken away… she wasn't sure she could go through life without Reina anymore.

Usagi slowly walked along the sidewalk, her head held low and a terrible feeling her in her heart for Makoto. the two had lost each other in the Moon Kingdom and now it was just another cruel twisted joke from the gods themselves and she hated it. She couldn't deny that this wasn't fair, Usagi loved Reina as much as everyone else did and now having to go through life without her is just unfair. She began to blame herself, if only she didn't get injured by Andromeda's attack, if only she had finished her off in the first attack but no, it failed and she hated that she wasn't more powerful.

She would give anything to bring Reina back, back to the one she loves and to everyone that loves her but no matter how much she wished it, it would never happen.

As she walked along, she glanced to her right and had to double take when she saw a certain someone sitting on the bench.

"Gemiku?" So broke off her path and walked over to her.

The moment she approached her she could see her eyes closed and she looked to be at peace, "Gemiku?"

She was instantly startled as she let out a small yelp, "Ah!? Oh! Usagi-chan." She smiled, "Didn't expect to see you here?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, celebrating my new found freedom... but with nowhere else to go I figured it'd sit here till I decide what to do."

Usagi looked around, "Have you been here since we got back?" She nodded, "Gemiku… you should've have looked for me, I would've gladly kept you company at my place."

She only chuckled, "Thank you princess but I think I wore out my welcome long ago."

"Don't say that, you're not a bad person." Usagi took a seat down next to her, "What do you plan to do now?"

Gemiku sighed as she looked ahead, "I don't know, I kinda like it here, this planet I mean," She smiled, "The food, the people, the places, it's all so wonderful here… and I want to stay."

"Then you should stay!" Usagi chimed in happily.

"Ah ha," Gemiku rubbed her head, "Though in this world I would need a job wouldn't I? I'm not sure I know how to do anything?"

Usagi put a finger to her chin as she thought, "Mmm, well you could always stay at Rei-chan's shrine and work as a shrine maiden or OH OH I could introduce you to the Ayakashi Sisters."

"The who?"

"A group of sisters that were evil once but they live here now and own a cosmetic shop!" She said, "I'm sure they would love to have you there."

"A cosmetic shop? Well it will be certainly worth a try."

"I'll introduce you to them tomorrow." Usagi smiled but it quickly faded, "Um would you like to come with me to Rei's right now?"

"Huh?"

Usagi looked away, "We're going to honor Reina-chan…"

"Will her lover be there?"

"I don't know… I'm not sure she's ready for that just yet, she said she would but Rei called me and said that maybe she wouldn't show up after."

"I see, I don't really know her but yes I'll go."

The two stood up and began to walk when Gemiku stopped, "By the way Usagi."

"Yes?"

Gemiku then blushed as she said, "If… if you should ever need a servant or something I'd be happy to bond myself with you... it be an honor to bond myself with a wonderful Princess."

Usagi looked at her as she giggled, "I'm not sure, but if I did, I don't want a servant."

"Huh?"

"I'd much rather have a friend."

"I see." She returned her smile, "Well shall we be off?"

"Of course, we might have some food there and I'm sure you're hungry right?"

Before Gemiku could even answer, her stomach began to growl just as loudly and she could only hide her face.

"That's a yes." Usagi laughed as she led the way to Rei's home and honor a fallen friend.

The moon had finally taken its place in the sky, shining its moonlight through the window of a certain girl. She laid in bed on her side, still clutching the shirt tightly to her chest that belonged to her wonderful girlfriend, her scent was still so feint.

She must have laid there for what felt like hours, just hoping to see her face once more, to hear her voice once more and to hold her in her arms once more… but sadly it was never going to happen. She had stopped crying and was so emotionally spent that she could do nothing but lay there as her heart filled with agony.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

She slightly turned her head, and glanced at the door that was in the next room and as much as she hated too, Makoto stood up and walked towards the door, never letting go of Reina's shirt.

She gripped the door knob and slowly opened the door and was greeted to, "Usagi," She looked behind her and was shocked, "Girls?" She glanced further and saw Gemiku, for a moment Usagi felt like that would start trouble but she was relieved when nothing happened.

They all walked inside, "Did you really think we'd leave you alone right now?" Rei placed her hand on the brunette's shoulder.

"Your pain is our pain Mako-chan," Minako said, "We lost her too."

"We're here for you Mako-chan." Ami reached for Makoto's hand.

"I'm truly sorry for your loss Makoto-san. If there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask." Gemiku bowed slightly.

"Everyone…" The tears that never left welled up in Makoto's eyes as she hung her head.

"When you didn't show up at Rei-chan's shrine, I told them that we should spend the night with you, we'll always be here for you." Usagi walked up to her and embraced her, as did everyone else.

"Besides, someone has to keep a watch on Usagi, she'd probably burn the house down." Rei gave Usagi a teasing look.

"Ey! Rei-chan!"

Makoto only gave a small smile, it did feel nice to have the people she loves by her side.

"Come on, I'm sure its been a while since you ate something Mako-chan." The girls led Makoto to her kitchen, sat her down and the girls all began to cook well besides Usagi as she sat next to Makoto to keep her spirits up but considering that the wound was still fresh, it would be near impossible.

Usagi then noticed that Makoto was clutching onto a shirt, she held it tightly to her chest and on the same table was the pearl white ribbon that was on Reina's Sailor uniform.

"I remember that shirt," Usagi then looked into Makoto's eyes, "It was the shirt she wore when we first met her right?"

Makoto nodded slowly, "It's all I have of her…"

Usagi slowly reached for Makoto's hand and grasped it gently, the mere gesture was enough for her and while it kept her from crying once more, it wasn't able to keep the pain away.

"We'll always be here for whatever you need Mako-chan." Usagi placed her other hand atop Makoto's, "We promise." Rei followed up.

Makoto only knew that the way forward in her life, would be extremely difficult but she knew she could count on her friends being there for her and she hoped it would be enough.