Chapter 20 - Without You(Rent)

"'Life goes on

but I'm gone

'Cause I die without you"

Christian POV

I still can't believe any of this. Some hours ago, I was happily chatting away at dinner with my family but now my whole world has been flipped upside down.

The elevator ride upstairs is painful. Not only because it feel like the world is closing in on me but also because I know that my family is probably eagerly waiting for me on the other side and I honestly do not want to talk about this situation, they don't even know about Ana.

All my brooding these past few hours has helped me come up with a plan and I don't have time for distractions. This has to be perfect.

The elevator doors open and it is unusually quiet. Maybe they left?

No chance. Once past the foyer I see all of my family members staring at me expectantly. I can see the shock on their faces; it's no doubt I look horrible. I have been crying for what feels like endless days, I've been tugging at my hair non mercifully and my clothes are a mess.

"Son." My mom is the first to speak. "Are you okay?"

I don't answer her. No. I'm not okay, the love of my life is laying in a hospital fighting for her life but just kicked me out and is probably giving up more with each second that passes.. But they don't need to know all that and I'm not up for explaining the billions of questions that would inevitably follow.

"What's going on?" My father asks stepping close to me. I now realize that I haven't moved but before he can get to me, I back away and make a beeline for my room. Just before I open my door I turn back to my family, "don't worry".

Grace POV

Don't worry. Don't worry. DON'T WORRY?!

My youngest son basically has a break down in the middle of a family brunch, in which he was surprisingly there and he looked happy, goes missing for hours, comes back looking like crap and then ignores us other than telling us 'don't worry'. Is he insane?

"Taylor!" I call out knowing he is around somewhere.

"Yes, ma'am." He responds rightfully sheepish.

"What is going on with my son." I demand. Everyone else is unusually quiet and I look to see them all staring at me. I guess I've never really been the demanding or aggressive type but something is definitely and seriously wrong here.

His usually impassive face is stained with confusion, uncertainty and resistance.

"Honestly, I do not know." He answers. I can see the honesty in his eyes but he's his security, right hand man, and probably best friend(although he won't admit it), he should have some clue as to what's going on.

"Just tell us you will keep an eye on him." Carry asks Taylor after a moment of silence.

"Of course" Taylor nods and makes his exit.

"Carry!"

"Look. We all need to go home and get some rest. He's a grown man and he has some of the best people looking after him. We don't want to pressure him so he can push us away any further. Something is obviously bothering him and he obviously wants to be alone. Let's just give him some space." He tries to reason.

Elliot is somberly shaking his head in agreement and Mia is just sitting there looking dazed. She and Christian have always been the closest and seeing him like this must be the ultimate shock.

I guess sitting here for more hours won't change or help anything... Why does my husband always have to be right?

"I guess your right." I sigh. "But I hope he knows we're all here for him." I slightly yell hoping he can hear me through the walls.

Thankfully, I think he does. By the time we make it to the elevator, he is right behind us looking cleaned up but still not his usual. "Thank you for understanding. I know you are all here for me and I will be able to explain but not now."

I look at my son who has always been troubled and can only hope that he will be okay. I only ever remember seeing him this broken the first few years after we brought him home. It took forever for him to be able to be where he is now and I don't know if I'll be able to help him again.

Christian POV

Finally. My family has left and I can focus on my plans. The slight noise and conversation I could hear through my door was too distracting. Why I insisted on one way soundproof, I don't know. Now, I actually think going to my study would be the best place to focus.

I sit at my desk and go over my plan again in my mind. Just as I finish and go over to my Mac, Gail nervously peaks her head through the door.

"Mr. Grey, do you need anything?" She asks.

"Gail, no need for formalities, you can still call me Christian."

"I'm sorry. To be honest, I wasn't sure what kind of mood you were in."

"I understand. And I know you're worried too.. But... I don't know. I could use your help with something actually."

"Sure, what would you like me to prepare?" She asks getting ready to leave.

"No, it's nothing like that. Please sit." I gesture to the couch and come to sit across from her. "I need your help with flowers."

She stares at me stupefied for a few moments opening and closing her mouth many times while I anxiously wait for her reply. "Uhm.. Flowers. Certainly what kind of flowers?"

"I need fake flowers that look and feel real. Real flowers and plants aren't allowed in to the ward but I need to bring Ana some.. A lot actually. One sec, this involves Taylor too."

I buzz Taylor through the intercom to let him know that his assistance is needed. I gesture for him to take a seat near Gail and he nervously does so putting his arm lovingly around her shoulder. Normally I would never allow such a public affection to show but nothing has been normal here for some time. They are both looking up at me expectantly.

I sit down across from them. "Ana isn't doing well.. At all. Her.. It's not working and.. Things are just hard right now." I say fighting the knot in my throat that always appears when talking about this situation. "I have a plan.."

I was kind of fighting with myself on whether or not Grace would think of Jason Taylor as Jason or Taylor. Any thoughts? And who out of all the POV's do you like the most? Just curious.

Only six more chapters to go!

Thanks for reading! Please review, comment, ask question, etc.

P.S: Some of you may have reviewed the last chapter and once the site stops being glitchy, I can reply but I assure you, I have seen them. With that being said, any recommendations for a backup site? Thanks.

-Ari