WARNING: This is a parody of My Immortal. The following work of fiction is not meant to be taken seriously. But then again, it's not like My Immortal was ever taken seriously to begin with.
Harry Potter and characters (C) J.K. Rowling. My Immortal and characters (C) Tara Gilesbie.
AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. maybe if i make ppl think 'ravern' and 'raven' r 2 different ppl, shell let me off teh hook. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed! It's the awesome soda commercial, where Dr. Kola performed sum experments in his lab, and made some delishus Dracola! Ima drink some of dat!
Later we all went in the skull, because the author is too "goffik" to write the word "school" properly. Draco was crying in da common room, because Tara hasn't seen Draco cry enough even though he just cried in the last chapter. "Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice, which is one of the few parts of me that actually IS gothic.
"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide, but then again, this is a Tara Gilesbie fic, so what do you expect from him?
"Its ok Enoby." said vampire comfortly, which isn't even a real adverb. "Ill make him feel better, though why would he feel better if he's ill, anyway?"
"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily, despite the fact that Tara is still obsessed with emo yaoi. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too. And then he left, changed his clothes, and returned.
"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Because he still hasn't discovered the cure for delayed ejaculation yet, tears of blood came down his pail face (because a pail apparently fell on his head and hit his face). I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz, so Tara has to do what I say and include both of them in as many chapters as possible! (if ur a homophone, like a lot of misspellings in this tail, den fuk of!)
And then... we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke, a new flavor of Coca-Cola that makes you invincible when you drink it! We both gut under it, though we could've just drank it and savored the flavor. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand, though there's no one in the Harry Potter franchise by that name (closest is Mrs. Norris the kitty)... so we assume he's really Chuck Norris, because fanfics are more awesome when Chuck Norris is in them.
"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily, eager to deliver a roundhouse kick. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly. Which is weird, because he's acting crazier than he usually does, and it could mean that Tara has confused Filch with his cat Mrs. Norris, even though it's really easy to tell the difference.
"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.
"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way... and I don't know how he would manage to somehow get his face inside his own and talk within his own chest area.
"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow, which is the only dialogue he'll have thanks to being OOC. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then... Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as... Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1 Only Chuck Norris has the power to see invisible cloaks... because he's so awesome like that.
"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him, because really, no one can win a fight against Chuck Norris. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school, because even though he looks as awesome as Gerard Way now, he'll never be more awesome than Chuck Norris.
"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?"
"I guess though, though knowing Tara I may keep acting as though I have bipolar disorder or something." Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other, and I can't believe I just made out with both Vampire and Draco in the same chapter. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin, as the low score on Rotten Tomatoes will tell you) on the gothic red bed together (and it's likely red from all the blood on it). As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now... though it's just an excuse for not having a vision of anything. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic (no relation to Fudge and the Ministry of Magic) walked into the school!1