Disclaimer: This fan-fiction is not written for profit and no infringement of copyright is intended. Not beta-read so all mistakes are mine.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: SAFE

As it turns out, Steve doesn't really have it in him to have hot monkey sex on someone else's couch.

And that being the case, their make out/makeup session quickly runs out of steam.

It's not that he seems to mind the shmexing, Darcy thinks, so much as the notion that a) Hawkeye might want his living room back or b) Tony might be watching using Jarvis. And that's not even factoring in the issues their respective height differences and the size of the couch bring into play. But whatever it is, after a few minutes of fun and, frankly, fairly tame play-time, he brings their adventure on the couch to a halt. Pulling her into his lap but not kissing her. Righting her clothes even as he holds her tight. Darcy pouts and tries to slide her hands under his shirt again but it seems like he's just not biting-

Much to her delight, however, it turns out that he does have it in him to pick her up, carry her down to street level, put her in a cab and take her to his place.

Which is, y'know, awesome.

Because if there's one thing Darcy has proved in the last few days, it's that there's no end to the mischief she can wreak once she gets inside his apartment.

He keeps her seated in his lap most of the way there, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist like an anchor. His lips whispering soft, sweet things in her ear as the cab winds its way across town. When he finally gets her into his apartment he carries her to his bed and puts her under the covers. Takes time to gently pull her clothes, shoes and socks off- he presses two soft kisses to her feet as he does it- before stripping down to his t-shirt and climbing in beside her. For a moment Darcy doesn't quite know what to do, unused to the idea that she could share a bed with someone who doesn't appear to expect sex from her. The thought that they're finally somewhere she's never been before setting the beginnings of panic fluttering in her chest. But then he kisses her once, very softly, on the forehead and tells her to go to sleep. Tells her she can just rest now, that they'll have plenty of time for fun in the morning.

"I don't wanna," she whines, and she wishes she couldn't hear the slight, drunken slur in her voice as she says it.

"Indulge me, ma'am," he says, and, not for the first time she realises, he manages to make it sound like an endearment. Reaching in to whisper the rest, his big, heavy hands fitting themselves to her hips and pulling her into him. Tight.

"Tomorrow," he whispers, "when you're sober, you can-" he takes a deep breath, forces himself to say the dirty words- "you can fuck me three ways til Sunday. I'll beg you not to stop, and I'll beg you to make me beg some more. But tonight…" He pulls back and presses a kiss to her nose. His gaze is strangely serious. "Tonight, just let me sleep with you beside me. Please, Darcy. I- I've taken enough advantage of you already, don't let me do it again while you're drunk."

So that's what this is about. She reaches up and kisses him, very softly. "But I'm not drunk, at least not anymore," she tells him. "The idea that I was going to have to tell you what I did with Brett was more than enough to get me sober, let me tell you…"

He shakes his head mulishly. "But that's just it. That stuff with Brett, that stuff with me and Esme. You've had one rough night; I already gave you another. You don't need to-"

"But I want to." She speaks over him. "I want to very fucking much. I've been without you for days, Steve: Don't ask me to do without you tonight, now we're finally starting to get our shit together. Cos that's cruel and unusual punishment, is what that is."

He looks unconvinced but she presses her advantage. If he genuinely doesn't want to do anything that's okay, but she's not going without him just because he's still shook up about the other night. "Look, you say you don't want to take advantage of me," she murmurs. "Well then don'ttake advantage: Give- Give me something. Everything. Give me what I want." She takes a deep breath, tries to put it in terms he'll understand. "Take care of me, Steve… Please...Take care of me."

She gulps. "That's all I really want right now, if you wanna know the truth."

He looks up, the movement quick and sudden. Clearly she's said something he really likes. "Do you mean that?" he asks. "Do you- Do you want me to take care of you?" And his voice has this deep, husky quality to it that she associates with tying him up. His pupils dilated, breath shallow and fast. It's like those words are what he's been waiting for ever since that night after Westchester. It's- It's pretty damn hot, is what it is. Because suddenly Darcy realises that this is what he's been needing to hear from her ever since Loki messed with his head so royally. Suddenly that shit on his kitchen table the other night makes sense.

He needs to take his control back, she realises, but he doesn't want to just use me to do it this time.

And that she can work with. That she can understand.

That's the reason that he's her soldier and she's his ma'am.

Her heart begins thudding with excitement. "Do you want to take care of me?" she asks, and he nods, looking… eager. Happy. She can feel the anticipation shivering through his frame, the same way it does when he's asking her to bind him. On seeing her agree he leans over her, one hand on her shoulder, pressing her gently into the mattress. Kisses her forehead, then her lips, his mouth trailing down over her collar bone to press a soft kiss against the underside of her breast, over her bra. His other hand trailing softly up to stroke her face. She's not sure how he can do that so- so sweetly, when it should come off as pushy and controlling. But somehow with him, that's not how it feels.

"This okay for you, ma'am?" he says softly then and she nods. Gulps again, looking down at him. As has happened before, she suddenly feels very vulnerable when she's in his arms. "You'll tell me what you need, won't you?" he asks as he slips open her bra, his mouth teasing her nipple. His other hand stroking, very gently, down her stomach to her panties. Fingers dipping inside, making gasp. Again she nods, excitement squirming inside her, tying her stomach into knots as he suckles against her breast. This feels new. Safe. Different. This feels like it's hers as much as it's his.

"I think… I think I need you to take care of me tonight, soldier," she says. She actually damn blushes. "And I've- I've never asked anyone to do that for me before."

But even as the words leave her mouth she knows they're true. She's gone through most every sexual partner she's ever had making sure she never gets close enough to ask them that. Making sure they never had power over her, they could never abandon her or get her hopes up or her hurt her because she'd gotten attached. But with Steve… Yeah, she's attached. She's really damn attached. And she's really damn okay with it. Because she can trust him with more than just her kink or her body.

She can trust him with her heart.

Something jolts through her then, a little like an electric shock, a little like the emotional jag you get before you start crying. It's a feeling she's not really familiar with but she's not afraid of it with him here. He must register his reaction because he pauses what he's doing. Looks up at her with eyebrows raised, clearly asking whether he should carry on. She gulps, nods, not sure why she's suddenly so emotional. Maybe it's the fact that she never expected this, or maybe it's the fact that tomorrow she knows she'll wake up and be able to take the lead with him again. That whatever she wants will be okay. Steve pauses for a moment and then he starts kissing his way back up her body. By the time he reaches her lips he's wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to his chest. He lays her down, taking his weight on his forearms as he continues kissing her, each one sweet and slightly unpractised and completely unrushed and absolutely awesome.

"Tell me what you need," he murmurs against her lips.

"I need… I don't know what I need." She twines her fingers through his hair, drags his head down towards hers to kiss him. Scrapes her nails along his shoulders, wraps her legs around his waist. It feels like heaven- If heaven were an ache that just won't go away. "I only know I need you. I need you right now-"

"I'm here," he says, "I'm right here with you, Darcy-"

She looks up at him, something clicking into place within her. "Then let me show you what I want from you."

And with that the talking stops.

Because there's nothing really more they need to say. There's nothing more to do but feel and taste and show. Darcy reaches down and pulls off her panties and bra, tossing them away from her. She wants to feel his flesh against hers as much as she possibly can, wants the scratch of his hair and the weight of his limbs tangled against hers in every possible way. Holding eye contact she presses a little against his chest, pushing him off her. For a moment he looks kinda worried but he does as she indicates nevertheless, settling himself on his back. Watching her through heavy-lidded eyes.

And then she raises herself up onto her knees, tucking herself in until her breasts rest on the bed-sheets. Her ass in the air, her body totally exposed to him. More vulnerable than she thinks she's ever been, but that doesn't mean she's not safe. Because she's with her soldier, and he's gonna make sure she's okay. Darcy's always loved this position, the sensation of taking her partner deep, of being practically filled by him. But before it's always felt like something pushed on her, like something she's just expected to do. A dog performing a trick. But not this time, and not with this man. This time it can be exactly what she needs. It can be exactly what she wants it to be. And with that in mind she drifts one arm along the bed to beckon to Steve. Sees him pad slowly up until he's right behind her, his brow furrowed with what looks like distress.

"You ever done this one before, soldier?" she asks and her voice is breathless.

Steve shakes his head. He looks… perplexed. "No, ma'am. Heard of it, never gave it a try." Very gently he strokes the back of one hand down her spine, tracing each vertebrae. His touch is so light it tickles and Darcy's belly twists into knots. "You're sure this is what you want, ma'am?" he asks her. "This looks… uncomfortable."

She smiles. "You get yourself inside me and it won't feel uncomfortable at all."

And she manages to take his wrist, tug him towards her. Her smile reassuring him that this- him inside her in this way- is precisely what she needs. At first Steve is hesitant, moving against her with the utmost gentleness. Kissing her neck and shoulders as he tries to fit himself inside her, his breath tickling against her hair, his hands skittishly skating over her hips. But Darcy is impatient, and she knows how good this can feel. She wants him to know it too, wants him to understand just what a gift this can be. So she pushes back against him, lets him widen her, open her out. His cock feeling so good and so wanted at her entrance, teasing her pussy as she tries to take him inside. For a moment he fumbles, unsure of himself, but then-

There's a hiss of pleasure- she doesn't know whose- and Steve's inside her. The knack of pressing into her apparently having been discovered. The feel of her around him something she knows he enjoys. She hears him sigh in bliss as he pushes inside her, feels his hands instinctively grip her hips as he thrusts shallowly for the first time. The sensation of it is wonderful and instinctively she presses back against him, drawing a tiny gasp out of him. His hands tighten on her hips, anchoring her, and after a moment he thrusts again. The feel of him wonderful, the friction of the sheets against her breasts a delicious ache. A rhythm starts up, strong and smooth and steady as they move against one another. The pleasure mounting within Darcy, the joy of finally trusting her partner letting her feel free in a way she's never really experienced before. Steve leans over her after a moment, his chest pressing against her shoulder-blades, his body arching protectively around hers. One hand pressing down on the bed next to hers, his other wrapping around her waist, hand pressing against her mound. "You're too far away," he gasps, "I don't want you to be far away-"

She twists her head around, careless of the discomfort, unable to resist kissing him. "I'm never far away from you, soldier," she whispers. "I'm always with you…"

He smiles as he thrusts against her. "And I'm always with you."

And with that he finally seems to relax into their position, to give into it. His movements becoming stronger and steadier, his grip on her staying firm and tight and sweet. The bed rocks with each push, the headboard banging out a steady rhythm as their pleasure builds. Steve's gasps mixing with Darcy's until it's impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins. And then it comes, the sudden twist of orgasm, the freefall of its passing. Darcy's entire body shakes in bliss as she comes for him, her mind going to somewhere quiet and perfect and bright. When she comes back Steve's turned them both on their sides, his cock still inside her, his arms still around her. He's holding her so tightly it's like he'll never let her go and Darcy realises she doesn't mind that at all.

"That place you go," he murmurs. "I wish I could go there with you."

She strokes her hands along his arms, her body sagging with satiation and delight.

"I might not be able to bring you with me," she says, "but I can damn well help you get there too, soldier…"

"And I'll always follow you there, ma'am," he whispers.

He kisses her once, very gently, on the lips, and with that he falls asleep.