Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria: Friendship Sucks

By NocturneD

Warning: Sorry for the long wait.

Chapter 21

The changeling queen circled around the two menacing teenagers. Inspecting every inch from their black shoes to their weird shaped noses. She could smell the chaos reeking from their very soul. She liked what she smelled.

"Beavis did you cut the cheese?" Butt-head waved the foul oder away from his face.

Beavis only chuckled, "Uh. Maybe. Eh heh heh."

Chrysalis frowned, that smell was not what she meant earlier. She arched her neck back up to speak, "Do you two want to cause some chaos?"

Butt-head frowned, "Uh... maybe later. Right now I just want to nap."

"Yeah. Eh heh." Beavis scratched his ass, "Pretty tired for the day."

"Sucks though because there's no chicks around here to entertain us or anything." Butt-head brought up.

"Yeah. Pony porn has its limits. Sure a pony's ass looks like a huge butt of a chick but the rest who gives a shit." Beavis frowned.

Chrysalis nodded, "I understand you are attracted to chickens then?"

Beavis and Butt-head stared at each other then frowned.

"Eh. No. Chicks like in girls." Beavis arched his eyebrows.

"Yeah. Dumb ass." Butt-head chuckled.

Chrysalis puckered her lips then nodded, "Ah. My mistake. Female versions of your own species."

"You said feces." Butt-head chuckled.

"Eh. I'm sure she said species Butt-head." Beavis corrected his friend only to get slapped upside the head. "AH!"

"Damn it Beavis don't correct me!" Butt-head warned.

Beavis only rubbed his cheek in response with a pained look. As a result from the hit a few pictures fell out of the blonde's pocket to reveal underwear models. Chrysalis looked at the images to get an idea. This is what they meant.

"If I were to please you with females then will you do what I want?" Chrysalis sneered. Six of her changeling minions buzzed in through the window.

"Ugh. More ponies." Butt-head frowned.

"I don't know Butt-head. Maybe if we never get home maybe if we close our eyes and pretend they're chicks and..." Beavis was met with another slap across the face. "OW!"

"Damn it Beavis this brony crap is pissing me off!" Butt-head muttered.

Chrysalis smirk and tapped her hoof to the ground. Her minions nodded to each other then changed into something Beavis and Butt-head have not seen in a while. There were six good looking female humans standing there posing.

The two teens stood there, mouths open wide.

"Oh dear god Butt-head is this real?" Beavis stared wide eyed at the girls in front of them.

"It sure is Beavis." Butt-head mumbled. "Come to Butt-head."

The two reached out to touch the girls, only for them to poof back into changeling.

Beavis was the first to react with his arms flailing, "NO! NO! NOOOO! CHANGE BACK DAMN IT!"

"Yeah this sucks!" Butt-head demanded also.

"Easy boys. I just need you to do something for me." Chrysalis hissed.

"Ah damn it." Beavis lowered his arms.

"Yeah some big hairy weiner dragon just told us do stuff now you want us to do something too?" Butt-head frowned.

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow, "By curiosity what was this dragon's name?"

"Uhhh... I don't remember." Butt-head chuckled.

"Something cock." Beavis chuckled faster.

"What idiot goes by the name of that?" The queen wondered, "Well anyway. I want you to break up the elements of harmony."

"Uh. Okay." Butt-head replied. "As long as we get chicks."

"Yeah! I WANT ONES WITH BIG BOOBS!" Beavis shouted frantically.

"So we have a deal?" The queen asked.

"Does the princess crap in the woods?" Butt-head asked.

Chrysalis was dumb founded, "So... yes?"

"I guess." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah probably." Beavis frowned.

"Probably the best answer I'm ever going to get out of you." Chrysalis rolled her eyes, "Rest up for tomorrow. The element bearers must be broken up so the changeling army can take over Canterlot. And don't tell any pony, you will be heavily rewarded."

"Eh. What?" Beavis picked his nose.

"Yeah who are you again?" Butt-head asked.

Chrysalis pursed her lip, "Just go you two. Remember, you get all the chicks you want." Just then the queen engulfed herself in the green flames and turned back into the image of princess Cadence. "Make the changeling army proud..." She turned and walked off.

"Uh. What were we supposed to do again?" Butt-head turned to his friend.

"Eh. I think we forgot to write Cunterlot sucks." Beavis chuckled.

"Oh yeah." Butt-head chuckled, "Then we will blame it on Tinkle."

The two laughed as threw sprayed more graffiti on the walls. The spray cans ran empty and then the two decided to leave to catch on some sleep. The next night was finally the Great Galloping Gala. Every pony was coming this time to enjoy the festivities and as promised. Beavis and Butt-head prepared nachos for the ponies to enjoy. No burgers sadly to repeat what happened at the fashion show. Rarity made sure the teens were dressed in their best suits as well as her friends. Wearing a vastly improved version of the gala dresses the mane six were prepared. Walking around the castle and to dance in the ballroom. Beavis and Butt-head were bored out of their skulls. Unfortunately Celestia had a small project going on outside in her court yard area involving hot tar and a steam roller.

"Alright Steam you can take a break finally!" A construction worker pony called out to the other.

"Ah. Finally." Steam took off his hat and wiped his forehead. "Should I turn this thing off?"

"Nah. Took forever starting her up." The worker pony explained, "Come on. The princess is allowing us to have some food." The worker ponies left while Steam left the roller on.

Beavis and Butt-head looked at the lone steam roller. Still running. They looked at each other and walked over to it. Butt-head got up in the driver seat while Beavis hung on. Butt-head pulled the gear free and then the steamer started to move forward as he pressed on the pedal.

"Hey Butt-head. Remember that kill dozer movie?" Beavis asked.

"Oh yeah." Butt-head chuckled.

The first thing they smashed was a pedestal. Running over ceramics and stone benches. Blowing over potted plants and spreading the tar all over the grass. Busting over a very expensive fountain as water started to shoot up into the sky.

"Hey Beavis. Let's go see that Starswirly book place." Butt-head suggested.

"What's that?" Beavis asked.

"Remember when Twinkle would not shut up about that place?" Butt-head asked.

"Not really. I just kind of zone out when she's talking." Beavis chuckled.

Cutting through the animal court yard they knocked over various trees and birdbaths. Leaving a trail of destruction behind themselves. The animals scattered and squawked in panic.

"I think this is it." Beavis pointed, "Want to stop and go inside?"

"Beavis. Remember when Pinkie said to think inside the chimney?" Butt-head asked.

"Uh. Not really." Beavis chuckled.

"Good. I don't either." Butt-head stepped harder on the gas pedal and rammed full force into the side of the Canterlot archives building smashing over book shelves destroying years worth of spells and research under the might of the steam roller. The two laughed at their accomplishments and broke down more walls.

A guard came walking past the wreckage and looked, "Well I'm not cleaning this up."

to be continued...

note: sorry again for the lack of updates. finally i finished two stories and its such a relief. hopefully i can work on this and another story some more and won't be swamped as much. sorry about the brony message too, its just breaking the fourth wall.