The Silent Girl
Troy's Pov:
The plane engine roared to life as we began picking up speed. The seat belt light turned on causing Gabriella to almost jump out of her seat. She had a death grip on me as the lights in the cabin flickered before turning off. I kissed her forehead before holding her closer to me.
Looked at my parents, I found my mother gripping onto my fathers hand. Her other hand held a firm grip onto the arm rest. I felt the plane lift off the ground along with hearing a whimper escape from Gabriella's lips. The plane shook and rattled as it turned in the air, making it's way though the white puffy clouds.
I yawned, popping my ears in the process. Looking down, I found myself scared to death for Gabriella. Tears were spilling over her cheeks. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut and her arms gripped around me almost as if her life depended on it.
This was a bad idea, I knew it. I never should have invited her to come. It was so soon after her surgery. What was I thinking? That's just it. I wasn't thinking. I was only thinking about what I wanted – about what would make me happy. I knew that in order for me to be happy I had to make a selfish decision. I had to have her by my side. I needed her.
"I'm so sorry, Baby Girl." My voice broke as I spoke quietly into her curls. Over the noise of the plane and the whispering, I knew she couldn't hear me. I looked at my mom once more. Her eyes met mine for a short moment before I shook my head at her.
"This was a mistake." I caught my eye with some of the onlookers. They all had their eyes locked on me and my family. Almost as if we were on some soap opera on their TV's.
"Troy Alexander, look at me." In a second my eyes flickered back to my mothers'.
"Don't say that because it's not true. She is not in any pain. Do you understand me?" I shook my head in disagreement. Was she serious?
"Mom take a look at her. Those don't look like happy tears." She pulled the iPod earphones from her ears before turning in her seat. I wanted everyone just to disappear right now. I wanted all the watching eyes and listening ears to mind their own business for the duration of the plane ride. I wanted a moment between me and my family not my family and the rest of first class.
"Do you want to know what I see when I look at her? I see a scared and nervous girl who doesn't know what to do. I see a girl who is gripping onto you and looking to you for support." I looked down at Gabriella and moved a piece of hair out of her eyes. She leaned into my touch which caused butterflies to swirl in my stomach.
"How do you know she isn't in pain?" I didn't believe my mother. I needed Gabriella to tell me she wasn't in pain. I needed her conformation, not my moms. The lights in the cabin turned back on along with the air conditioning. I felt Gabriella press herself further into me, if that was even possible, when the captain announced that it was safe to use electronic devices.
"You gave her the pain medication. By now it has kicked in, trust me. Those pills are prescribed. They are not nonsense pills found in a pharmacy. The most she is feeling is confusing loud noises with physical pain. You need to be there for her Troy. She is depending on you. Who cares what everyone else on this plane is thinking. Don't let the people around you influence what you would normally do to comfort her. They are obsolete." I watched as she returned to listening to her iPod and closed her eyes.
I took one last look around the plane before unbuckling Gabriella's seatbelt. My mother was right; people didn't need to see the interaction between me and Gabriella. Un-wrapping my arms from around her, she looked up at me. My heart hurt to look back. Her eyes were completely bloodshot. She tried desperately to wipe her face free of tears.
"I…I'm so-sorry." She hiccupped. Her voice was low enough for only me to hear. Grabbing her face with both of my hands, I placed a kiss on her nose. Leaning over to her seat, I took Gabriella into my arms. She curled up on my lap almost instantly. Her arms wove around my neck as, in one smooth motion, I moved myself into the window seat.
I felt more comfortable in the secluded area. Only my parents could see us, which put me at ease. I'm sure it put Gabriella at ease as well. As gently as I could I sat her down on my lap facing me before putting her legs on either side of me. She held on tightly to me as I leaned back in the comfy chair.
"Don't you dare apologize to me. Haven't I already told you that before?" I moved her up so her head rested on my shoulder. She nodded her head before I wiped away her remaining tears. Her fingers reached up to my face and swiped my chin. I looked down and she retracted her fingers.
I don't like this. My ears hurt. I didn't realize the plane was so loud. And at that moment she signed to me; I felt as if I could cry.
"I promise you, when this is all over you and I will go someplace quiet. The house we have rented is very secluded." Gabriella nodded her head once more. Her eyes stayed locked on mine.
"What you're feeling right now, is shock. The medicine took care of your pain. All these new noises are just coming as a surprise to you." Looking to my left, I found an impatient flight attendant. I flashed her a smile. Most of the time when I'm with Gabriella the rest of the world seems to disappear.
"Your drink orders?" She asked for what probably was the eighth time. After ordering both Gabriella and I waters, I waited until she left before returning my eyes to Gabriella.
Make it stop. She signed to me; her hand movements becoming lazy. It was almost like she felt defeated. She had no reason to fight anymore because no one was helping her.
Kissing the top of her head, I reached down into her purse to retrieve the iPod nano. Putting the headphones into my ear, I brought the slim iPod to life before scrolling through the list of artist. My eyes landed on Taylor Swift. Playing the first song on her album, Fearless, I turned the volume down before pressing pause and removing the earphones.
Her face scrunched up as I went to put the earphones on her. Her lip soon turned white from biting it. Before I could register what was happening, I felt her body jerk back. She pushed my chest away with the palms of her hands. Sitting up, she immediately covered her ears.
"Oh dear." I heard my mother exclaim. Looking at her, I found her unbuckling her seatbelt before getting up to sit next to me.
"What happened?" My heart beat sped up as I watched Gabriella's face turn into a frown.
"Now that is a look of pain. Come here Sweetie." My mother patted the space in between us. Setting Gabriella down, I watched as my mother took her into her arms. Her hand went to Gabriella's head, running her fingers through her curls. Gabi buried her head into my mothers shoulder, both of her hands still secured on her ears. My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach. Everything around me was happening so fast. I didn't know what to do.
"Mom I didn't know. I thought it would be okay for her to listen to music." My mom soothingly rocked Gabriella and looked up at me. She shook her head and held out one of her hands. Handing the iPod to her, I watched silently as she pulled the cord from the small red mp3 player.
"Troy, Imagine if you had the same surgery she had yesterday. Imagine how sore your ears would be. All of a sudden someone starts moving them around trying to stick something else in them. Before she wears those, she needs to fully heal."
I instantly felt even worse than before. The day is just getting better and better, isn't it? How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? That's just is though; I wasn't thinking. The last thing I wanted to do was cause Gabriella even more pain.
"I didn't realize. God I feel horrible. Is she okay?" My voice came out exactly how I felt – hurt and broken. With the back of my hand I ran my knuckled over Gabriella's cheek.
"Do you need anything else?" I looked up at the flight attendant, taking the two bottles of water from her hands.
"Yes, can we have a set of headphones?" My mother looked up at the woman while I looked at my mom with a questioning look.
"You take her. My work here is done. She is fine, Troy. Don't be too hard on yourself. It was an accident." I offered a grateful look to my mother before taking Gabriella back into my arms. Taking the headphones, the flight attendant was handing me, I plugged them into the iPod.
"Come here, Baby Doll." Gabriella was hesitant to lean forward, which only caused me to feel worse. She flinched again as I gently put the headphones on her. Her face relaxed once they were in place.
"Does that hurt?" I asked her when I felt her lean against my chest.
No, but not loud, Boo. She signed to me. I didn't like the way she was acting. It wasn't right. It wasn't Gabriella.
Her face held not emotion and I hadn't heard her voice for a good hour. One of my hands went to her butt while the other secured itself on her back, drawing imaginary figures as the soothing music calmed her. I felt her hand tap against my chest to the beat of the music.
Kissing her head, I watched silently as her eyes became heavy. Her hand stopping tapping and flew up to my throat. Glancing at the song she was listening to, I noticed that a new song was about to start.
Waiting a few more seconds, I found myself humming to the tune of Fearless. Her body became limp, and her hand dropped from my chest. I listened to her even breaths for a few minutes before kissing her once more.
"What happened, Baby doll?" I whispered to myself more than her. She was really starting to worry me. I used to miss this part of out relationship how she would only talk in sign language to me. I now found myself missing her voice more than anything. It gave me the reassurance that everything was okay – that she was okay.
Her even breaths signified that she was finally sleeping. She finally got her moment of piece the first time today. And for a moment, I was at ease. I took a drink of my water before leaning back in my chair. For the rest of the ride, everything was good. The love of my life was at ease, and I was able to finally relax. My eyes closed and my hand stopped drawing imaginary figures on her back. I fell into a light sleep, with only one person in mind – Gabriella.
My peace was short lived. I woke up groggy to a flight attendant hovering over the two of us. "Sir, we are getting ready to land. We need everybody in their own seat." I nodded at her, acknowledging the fact that I understood. I waited until she left before carefully setting Gabriella in the empty seat next to me. After resting her head against my shoulder, I secured her seat belt. When the plane touched down, Gabriella woke up with a jump.
"It's okay. We made it." I told her as I stood up to collect our things. Holding out my hand, she gripped onto me as the four of us exited the plane. The baggage collection was another story, though. As the conveyer belt started up, a siren blared making Gabriella practically jump out of her skin.
"Nothing is going to hurt you, Baby Doll." I whispered in her ear. Looking over at my dad, I found that he was able to locate a luggage cart. Gabriella and I sat on a bench as we waited patiently for my father to collect the luggage.
Gabriella was getting worse by the second. She no longer acknowledged the fact that she heard me speaking. She was worrying me by the simplest of things.
Gabriella's Pov:
I was trying my best to keep everything together, but I was failing miserably. I didn't like the feeling that every little noise practically gave me a heart attack. Things were so much simpler when I couldn't hear. I didn't feel like myself. I was losing Gabriella.
On top of that, Troy is afraid to touch me. He is trying so hard not to cause me pain, which he doesn't know how much I secretly appreciate it. Sure there are slip ups now and then, but it isn't his fault – it's mine. I never should have gotten this stupid surgery. Troy and my mother were right. What made me think I needed to hear? Sure I was curious about people's voices, but if it meant going through all of this crap, I never would have gone through with it.
I stayed silent for the ride home. Troy and I were quiet as we unpacked our bags and put our clothes in the rented houses' dresser. To say it was beautiful here would be an understatement. The room Troy and I were staying in had room almost as big as my room and my moms put together. The bathroom was another story. Not only was it the size of my room, but also a Jacuzzi. The countertops were made of granite.
After finishing putting my clothes away, I grabbed my phone and walked out on the balcony.
"Babe, do you want to go to the beach?" I turned around, startled to find Troy behind me.
I think I am going to go for a walk on the beach if that's okay. I turned around and signed to him. His eyes got real dark, almost as if that cobalt color diminished. To me his eyes not looked gray – sad.
"I don't want you to be out there by yourself. I want to make sure your safe." He scanned the beach before putting his sunglasses on.
You mean you're worried about all the people here? I joked about the empty private beach we had. Thank you for your concern, but I'll be fine. I am just going for a quick walk to call my mom. You can come out in ten minutes if you want. I just need some alone time. I signed to him before going into the bathroom to change into my bikini.
"Gabi?" I heard Troy's hurt voice call me. I willed myself not to look back. I willed myself to pretend like his worried and hurt voice, didn't affect me. A tear slipped down my cheek at the thought of treating him like I was.
Before stepping outside I turned around. His face stared at mine. It held no emotion- no happiness. Be Safe. He signed to me. Slipping out the backdoor I was met with Hawaii's warm climate. My hair blew with the wind as I got closer to the ocean. I sat down on the soft sand, letting the waves come up to my ankles. Pulling out my cell phone, I dialed a familiar number
"Hi Mami." I let the tears flow freely, not being concerned about who was listening. I knew that I was the only person on the beach. In the back of my mind however, I know that Troy is watching me from the house.
"Mija, I'm so glad you called. You had me worried when hear from you. What's going on there, you don't sound too happy." With my free hand I gathered sand in my palm, letting it slowly run through my fingers.
"I don't know what to do Mami. I love hearing everyone's voice, but I can't do it anymore." I sniffled trying to catch my breath.
"Honey, I really think you need to give it more time. You just got the surgery yesterday. You probably aren't feeling too great. It takes time." I shook my head in disagreement. I made up my mind already.
"Mom you don't understand. Troy is afraid to touch me. Every time I flinch or wince, he takes it out on himself. He thinks it's his fault that I am hurting." I wiped my tears with the back of my wrist. Things were so much simpler before all of this happened. Most importantly, I was happy.
"Mija, what's really going on? Did something happen. What has gotten you so worked up? Did Troy do something? Are you homesick?" I sucked in another breath before speaking.
"I feel like I'm losing myself. It's like I'm not Gabriella. My whole life I have grown up on sign language. My whole that has been all I have ever known to do. I want to have both in my life, but that's impossible. You don't understand. With Troy, being deaf was romantic to me. It might sound crazy, but when he used to get my attention he would always run his knuckles along my face, or scratch my back. Now all he has to do is call my name from across the room." I trailed off into my own thought, letting my tears dissolve into the sand. My mom took a long pause before speaking.
"Gabriella, where's Troy?" Before I could answer the phone was taken right out of my hands. I gasped and looked up, but somehow relieved by what I saw.
"Hey Ms. Montez, can I have Gabriella call you back?" Getting up from my spot on the sand, I quickly wiped my tears away before, walking away. Troy's arm reached out and quickly grasped my upper arm, holding me back.
"I know, I'll talk to her." I said into the phone before slipping it into his pocket. Both of Troy's arms fell to his side as the two of us walked along the beach. The cool water ran over our feet as we walked further down.
"Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling or what you were thinking?" His voice was quiet and low.
I didn't dare look him in the eye in fear that if I did, I would run into his arms and fall apart. Then again maybe that's what I needed. I wrapped my arms around myself in attempts to give me a little comfort. I waited a good ten minutes before responding.
How much did you hear? I signed to him. I knew I caught his eye with my waving hands. He let out a deep breath before putting his arm around my neck and pulling my close.
"Everything." I collapsed into his arms and for the first time that day, I let him comfort me as I broke apart in his strong hold.
Sorry it took so long! Between school and friends, I hardly have anytime to write anymore. Please don't be afraid to give some input and ideas. I want to include what you like to see in the chapters. I hope you liked this one!