Jordan's POV

Alice. Alice. Alice. Alice. OME I'M SITTING NEXT TO ALICE FREAKING CULLEN!

"Hannah, can you please make Jordan's thoughts unhearable to me?" Edward asked from my other side.

Hannah took out her laptop and started typing away. Edward sighed in relief and Jacob's, who was sitting at the far end of the table, because he smelled so bad, nose began to grow to an abnormally large size.

"Hannah!" He whined.

"Shut it, mutt, you're the one who was lying!" She hissed back at him and then turned her attention back to Edward. "So, Edward, I've always wondered... Does your hair grow? Because hair is just like dead skin cells, right? And don't you still make those...?" She droned on and on, so I looked back to Alice.

I started coming up with a plan to jump on her, and she covered her face. "Please don't." She flinched.

"HAW! I just wanted to see what would happen if I planned that!" I laughed.

"Whatever, I need to go watch the Mentalist, it's on tonight, and this one looks awesome... Edward, you come too, because if I come up with more questions I don't want to forget." Hannah pulled on his ear and he followed.

"What's the mentalist?" Rosalie asked.

"A super freaky-awesome crime show that has this freaky smart guy who always figures out puzzles and stuff, and he's super good at pin ball." Emmett jumped up and down and chased after Hannah and Edward, "Hey guys! I want to watch, too!"

"Hey, Alice, have you ever thought about a job in law enforcement? Like CSI stuff...?" I asked. "You'd be really good at it, you know! Like, 'cause you're psychic. And then Edward could be one too, because he'd know what everybody was thinking, so people couldn't lie to him... OME! YOU GUYS COULD BE A FREAKING CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATOR SHOW! CAN YOU SEE IT?"

Cut to...

The middle of the forest where and old man lays dead, by a gunshot to the head and purple ribbons spread around him on the ground.

"Oh my gawsheness, Edward, old man Smithers was killed by someone... Who do ya think did it?" Alice said in her black knee-high boots with her CSI uniform, that she Alice-ified.

"I hear thoughts coming from behind those trees... Holy jeez! They have guns!" And just then a pack of gun-carrying men stepped out and tried to shoot Alice and Edward, but the bullets just ricocheted off of them and blasted back to the shooters... All but one. "And who might you be, mister?" Edward asked keeping his hand on his left hip where his gun lay; even though he didn't need it.

"I'm Sirius Black." He spat.

"Really, because my son-in-law's last name is Black... Do you know Billy Black? He lives down at La Push beach in Washington--" Edward started.

"Edward, this is a show pitch Jordan's showing to me, and you're not going to ruin it for me. Now continue to interrogate this guy." Alice pushed.

"Sorry.... Did you kill Gary Smithers?" Edward continued.

"Yeah, and I'd do it again if I had the chance." Sirius growled.

"Well I guess that wraps that mystery up." Alice sighed.

*Getting blurry, before returning to the present.*

"Did you see it?" I jumped up and down excitedly, clapping my hands.

"Yes, where's Hannah's dorm? I have to go tell Edward!" Alice got excited, like me and then ran off without waiting for me to answer.

"Hey, Alice! Wait up! I want to come to!" I screamed and yelled after her.

Emmett's POV

"AHHH!!! Is that really Zachariah?!" I screamed. (Taken from the actual TV show.)

"I don't know Emmett, watch!" Hannah screamed over me than made "Shush" sound and pointing at the TV.

"Did you kill Justin?" The Mentalist asked as the arm pulled on the boys hand.

"Yes!" He screamed and the log started to push up, and out came the detective.

"All right, come with me." He grabbed his arm.

"But I was joking." The boy insisted.

"Phew... I was afraid that actually was the axe murderer." I sighed and Hannah grimaced.

"It's not even a scary--" *knock knock* Hannah went to open the door. I hid under the pillow.

"It's Zachariah! Hannah, don't answer it!!!!" I screamed but Alice was already in the doorway, speaking a mile a minute to Edward.

"..." She droned, but Edward put up a silencing hand.

"No."

"EDWARD?!?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Please???" She poked her middle lip out.

"But I said yes!" Jordan piped up.

"Whatever, Alice. Fine." Edward crossed his arms and stalked out of the room.

A/N: Ha ha ha ha! HAW! A TV show! I love it! But maybe you guys could email me some murder investigation idea's for The Edward and Alice detecives? ooh! I just thought of another contest! *Claps hands excitedly* Whoever can make up the awesomest name for the TV show wins! I'll negotiate your prize with you after you win, 'kay? Whoo! I'm exctied! Once again, please review! Wee!

HannahMalfoy27