I park the car and she basically jumps out of it. I slowly follow, lean my arms on top of my car and look at her. "What? Am I not allowed to be excited?" I breathe out a small laughter and shake my head a bit. "Whaaat?" She sounds more demanding and pouts now. I can feel a huge grin form on my face and I tilt my head slightly. "Why did you wanna go here?" She starts to walk away from the car and I follow her. "Oh, you know, I just want to show you the city." She stops again and looks into the distance. "Just the beautiful places you haven't been to, yet. Since I can't do that in Texas, I want to do it here." I follow her gaze and this sounds so cliche, but I only know Santa Monica from pictures and TV shows, but it's nothing compared to seeing it. It blows my mind completely. The pier and the beautiful beach and just … I can't put it in words, really. "You can close your mouth, darling. Come on, I want you to see it up close." She softly puts her hand under my chin to close my mouth, I didn't even realize it had dropped. Then she starts to walk again. I can't move, I'm still overwhelmed. She turns around and stretches her hand out to me. I blink a few times and look at her hand. I can't help but smile and take it gladly.

After we got to the pier, we walk through the masses of people, I didn't think that there would be so many people at 6pm. Oh wait, 6pm isn't that late. I sigh in full happiness and Amy looks at me. "Is everything alright?" My gaze drops to the ground and for some reason shivers run down my spine. Thinking about it, my life right now is pretty perfect. "Everything is more than alright, everything is perfect, Aims." I look up to meet her gaze. "I have the job of my dreams, live in a beautiful city, have the perfect guide for any tours if I want to and most important-" I stop and take her other hand in mine, so she faces me. "-I have you back in my life. I couldn't wish for anything more." I squeeze her hands and she leans forward and kisses my cheek softly. "What do you wanna eat?" She grins at me and again, there are those shivers. "Why are you blushing? I only asked you what you wanna eat." She raises an eyebrow at me and places her hands around my waist. I lean my hands against her upper chest. "Well, the way you look at me makes me … nervous? I don't know. And I should be asking you what you wanna eat, I mean it's my treat." She looks to the sky, pulling me a bit closer, thinking. "How about chilli-cheese-fries?" I look at her and raise my eyebrow. "Chilli-cheese-fries? Are you serious?" She still looks in the air and bites her lip, making me wanting to close the distance between us. "Remember how we always wanted them as kids because of the show the Weekenders?" I nod, my eyebrow still raised. "And when we finally got them, we thought they're definitely not as good as we hoped they are?" I chuckle lightly, because I do remember. We begged my parents to make us some, but it's never a good idea to ask hippies to cook you something, so they ended up tasting horrible. "Yeah, sadly I do remember that." She turns her head to look at me and smirks. "Here's a place where they actually taste pretty good. You should taste them." I pull away and take her hand in mine "Then let's get some, just like the Weekenders." She smiles and intertwines our hands.

We walked down to she shore and sat strolled along the water, both with a huge amount of fries in our hands. "Gosh, you were right, they are freaking amazing." "I told you so." Amy just mumbles the words, because she shoved a handful of fries into her mouth and smiles at me. I burst out laughing, because she looks ridiculous, but somehow still adorable. "You know I hate talking with your mouth full." Amy just shoves even more fries into her mouth and looks at me "What?" I chuckle and shove her playfully, causing her to trip and almost fall over in the sand. What makes me burst out laughing again. "Hey! That's not funny!" She tries to get her balance and almost lets her fries drop. "Oh trust me, if you could see yourself you would laugh, too" I get hold of her arm to steady her and she just glares at me. "We could sit down if you want to" I say, winking at her. Without saying any other word she lets herself fall into the sand. I sit down next to her and we stare at the water. We finish our food in silence, Amy is of course way faster than me, but that's mostly because I steal glances at her so often and admire her face, even if it's half covered in cheese right now. I can't help but smile and reach over to her and wipe my thumb along her cheek to get off the rest of the cheese. I lick the cheese off my finger without even thinking about it and that's when I see that Amy is looking at me. "Can I help you with something?" She narrows her eyebrows and purses her lips "I feel like a child right now that doesn't know how to eat. I feel nothing like 26 thanks to you." I lean over to her and peck her on the cheek. "I'm sorry, but you're just way too cute." She narrows her eyes even more. "I'm not cute. I'm badass." I can't help but smile "Sure you are, whatever you say, honey." She pouts and looks down at the sand. She looks up a few times to make sure I'm looking at her. I reach over and place my hand on her thigh and sigh. "You really shouldn't feel like 26 if you act like this all the time." I wink at her playfully and she shoves my shoulder. "You know, you're actually really mean, what do I see in you?" I chuckle and she returns a smile at me. "I know you love me, and this is only the revenge for the tickling earlier." She places her hand on mine and strokes the back of my hand. I lean in and pretty soon our lips touch. Oh damn, how have I survived 10 years without this girl by my side? How did I manage to graduate and everything when I could have had this. This right here, her lips on mine, with butterflies trying to escape my stomach. She wouldn't have had this horrible time and we would be engaged right now and not her and … him. I place my hand on her cheek and deepen the kiss, because nothing feels better than her skin on mine, nothing feels better than knowing that she still loves me, nothing feels better than her smile on my lips, nothing, really nothing feels better than- damn it. There it is, the sweet tune of the Pretty Little Liars Theme song. I groan in frustration as Amy pulls back. She frowns as she looks at the display at her phone and mumbles "I have to take this" before she gets up and walks away a few feet.

I know it's Oliver on the phone, and I get that she has to take it, but that doesn't open the knot the slowly forms in my stomach. And the realization comes to me that Amy isn't mine. She is still engaged to Oliver and what we do is cheating. What we do isn't right. I shouldn't do this, this makes us both such horrible people. I broke off the contact with her, because she slept with Liam, and now look at me. I'm not better than her back then. And she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing, I know exactly what I'm doing. I look over to her, she has a hand on her head in frustration and paces up and down the beach a few feet away from me. She looks hurt and I want to hold her until she's okay. But that's Oliver's job. I run my hand through my hair and try to concentrate on the good things. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and pull it out.

Somehow I had the feeling you're not feeling good. Tell me I'm wrong.

Damn Paula, how does she do this? I mean, wow.

Actually I'm really not fine right now, I feel so guilty because of Oliver.

I look up to the water, but before I can do anything else, she replies.

Why should you feel guilty?

I sigh and think a few moments before hitting the reply button again

Well, Amy came by today and told me she wants to be with me, but she didn't break things off with Oliver, yet. So technically we're cheating right now, and I really don't feel good about it.

And why should you feel guilty? I mean she chose you, not him. She will break things off and you said they had a fight, so maybe they broke things off already.

I look up to Amy who furiously moves her hand while trying to stay calm on the phone.

She's talking to him right now on the phone, so I don't know. Maybe you're right, but I don't think so.

If anything is wrong and you need somebody to talk, you know you can call me, no matter what time it is. I'm always there. But keep your head held high princess, your tiara might fall ;)

I smile at her last text and put away the phone. I lean back in the sand and I hear that Amy rises her voice. "If you're there then I'm not going. That's it … Yes I'm fucking pissed at you, you left me when I needed you … No I don't want to see you right now … Yes I'm with her right now, but that's not the matter at all." That doesn't sound good, I hope she's okay after this phone call. I sigh and look at the sky, where a few lonely clouds make their way along the sky. Maybe this fight will end like tomorrow and she will go back to him. Maybe she doesn't want me like that anyway and just needs affection when she can't get it from him. No, that's not how Amy does things. Or is it? I mean we spent 10 years apart, things change in that time, I'm definitely not the girl I was in high school. I grew up, finally. And it seems that Amy did, too. Or at least at some level. When I'm with her, I feel like 15 again, I feel invincible, I feel the happiest I can be. What if she doesn't feel the same and only plays me? What if this whole thing is just revenge for what I did to her? What if I really want to commit and she rejects me. I hear Amy's voice again "No, just leave it, Oliver. I need time to think things through, I can't see you right now … No, don't show up at my house, if you will, I won't be there, I told you this … No, Oliver … Ugh, forget it." She hangs up, kicks the sand and walks back to me. Her expression softens when she stands in front of me. When I look at her face like this, I'm sure that all my doubts are nothing but pipe dreams. I can see in her eyes that she really loves me.

"Are you alright" She looks at me with her beautiful dark green eyes that pierce right through my soul. I run my hand through my hair and I don't know what to answer. Oliver wants so see me, but I can't do that right now. I need time to figure out what to do. I already told Karma I wanna be with her and my feelings for her are stronger than those for Oliver, but was that the truth? She's my first love and I will always love her, that's for sure. But do I love her the most? "Amy?" Her voice brings me back to reality and I manage a smile. "Yeah, everything's fine, nothing I can't handle. How about a little walk? I don't feel like sitting anymore." I stick out my hand and she shrugs, takes it and I pull her up. She lets go of my hand to brush off the sand of her outfit. "Did I tell you that you look fabulous tonight?" She look up with a smile on her face and bites her lip. She shakes her head a bit and her smile grows. I can still see concern in her face, but I know her, she won't question any further. And that's something I really appreciate about her. She never steps over the border, she always knows how far she can go without me pulling away. But she could do almost everything, I wouldn't mind at all. "How about the waterline?" I shake my head a bit to shake off my thoughts. "What?" She tilts her head slightly and purses her lips so she doesn't smile "You said you wanted to go for a walk, so how about we walk along the water line? With the feet in the water, you know?" That's cliche romantic that I have to smile. "If you want to, sure." So we took off our shoes and walk down to the water.

"I feel like in a movie." Karma chuckles at the oddness of her own words and she shakes her head softly. "Oh not yet, Karma, but I think I can makes this just like a movie scene." She looks at me quizzing and I just smile and take her hand, intertwining our fingers. She looks down at our hands and back up to me. "Yeah, that didn't make such a huge difference." I chuckle a bit, what she doesn't know is that I texted Sal to come down here and bring me something, so that this would be the perfect evening for Karma. "Just take in the scene, you're in Santa Monica, down at the shore, with the love of your life-" I nudge her shoulder lightly as she blushes as bit "- there is a beautiful sunset, you walk here hand in hand with me and you are the most beautiful person on this planet, with your chocolate brown hair and your beautiful dress. How could this be any better?" Thank god that Sal was near by and almost always has it in her car. She must be here any second. "Well, I don't know actually, this situation is pretty perfect. This is everything I could wish for in this moment." Then I see her, at the edge of the shore with a wide smile on her face waving at me, and she brought what I need. "Well, I know how. Just wait here a sec, I'll be right back." She blinks a few times in confusion, but I let go off her hand and sprint up to Sal.

"Sal, I owe you one, thank you so much." She just shrugs. "Just give it back to me as soon as possible, you know I love this piece of trash." I peck her on the cheek and run back, shouting a "You're the best" over my shoulder.

Karma is now even more confused. "Why do you have a guitar brought here?" I hand it to her and she eyes it carefully. "Okay, did Sally steal this or something, because I swear this thing right here is expensive as shit." I start to laugh and it takes me a few tries to speak. "I wouldn't know, but no she didn't steal it. She won it. So it's a good guitar?" She looks up from the instrument and looks at me wide eyed. "I take that as a yes. I had her bring it here, so you could play. I mean, look at this, isn't this the perfect place to play a song?" She looks around and I sit down in the sand again. When she looks at me again, her eyes are narrowed and her head tilted. "So you planned this whole thing?" I shrug and shake my head. "No, not really. I just had the idea and texted her a bit earlier." She still frowns but sits down next to me tuning the guitar. "So you got me here to make you the perfect scenario. Get an old friend down here to play some songs for you. Oh at best songs that remind her of you." She tries to tease me, but right now this is actually true, well almost. "You're not some old friend, Karma. You're my first love, and on top of that my best friend for life. But other than that, yeah pretty much." I wink at her as she sticks out her tongue. "So what do you wanna hear then? I mean this is all for you right here, isn't it?" If she wasn't smiling I would think she was pissed at me for bringing a guitar here. "Whatever you wanna play?" "What if I don't wanna play at all?" "As if, Ashcroft." She looks at me with this smile again. This smile I missed all those years, it always got me to do the most ridiculous things for her, and I would do it all over again. "Maybe I have a song for you." She starts playing and I recognize the song instantly, but I don't really get why this song.

"Wait, don't tell me
Heaven is a place on earth
I wish I could rewind all
The times that I didn't
Show you what you're really worth"

I really don't get why she sings this song, I mean I really don't. But the way she looks at me, while singing this first verse of the song, sends shivers down my spine.

"The way that you held me
I wish that I'd put you first
I was wrong I admit
Numb from your kiss
While you were slipping through my fingertips"

She drops her gaze and I can feel the goosebumps forming on my arm. I have to swallow hard not to tear up. I didn't know she was feeling like this about us.

"Taking every breath away
With all of the mistakes I've made
From all the letters that I've saved
This is everything I didn't say
I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know hat it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say
This is everything I didn't say"

Right now I just want to show her that it's not too late for us, that we have this shot, this one single shot. Our second chance to make things finally right. I don't want to see her hurting like this.

"Wake me up now
And tell me this is all a bad dream
All the songs that I wrote
All the wrongs hat I hoped would erase from your memory
Holding onto a broken and empty heart
Flowers I should've bought
All the hours I lost
Wish I could bring it back to the start"

She looks up again to meet my gaze and I can see the tears falling down her cheeks. I put my hand on her thigh and she stops playing. "We're bringing it back to the start, Karma. We will. This time I won't let you leave so easily, this time I will fight for us." I reach over to wipe away some tears from her face. She manages a smile and says "I admit, I have to work on my songchoice, but it just felt right to sing it to you now, after I played it all those years for you alone in my bedroom." Be both let out a laugh and she get a hold of my hand. "Remember how we worked together on your songs and you played them in front of your cats?" I look down at our hands and can't help but smile. "Yeah, I remember that. But you always wanted to get fart references in the songs." We both laugh again. "I was a weird kid." "We both were."

We continued talking about everything and nothing, by the end of the evening, we were tangled up in each other, talking about the past and what we went through together. After that she drove me home and now I'm standing here, in my room. And I have no idea what to do. Yes, I want to be with Karma, she is the love of my life, but what if things don't work out? Then I'm alone again. Again in this whole and I have no idea if I can handle that another time. If I stay with Oliver, I might not be as happy as with Karma, but I know I will never be alone, ever again. Ugh I hate thinking about this stuff. But there was always this one person who always helped me with stuff like this. Without thinking about it, I pull out my phone and dial a number "Hey, Shane? Please don't hang up on me. Can we talk?"