Draco finds out a few things about Hermione. Hermione finds out a few things about Draco, and about things she thought she knew – and about herself.
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Chapter 20: More than one Big Reveal
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Hermione concentrated as she walked by the door for the third time. She walked in as the door opened, and Draco followed.
Hermione caught her breath as she looked around. "This was my bedroom at home when I was a little girl."
It was a sunny, happy room. The sun poured in through the window which looked out on the garden below. The windows were framed by white curtains with yellow stripes. A tiny crystal sun catcher hung against the window, throwing little rainbows around the room and onto the small bed, creating a gentle fantasy landscape on the soft yellow duvet scattered with tiny white daisies. A low bench stood against the wall just beneath the window. Draco smiled at the sight of the little white bedside table piled high with story books.
"It's exactly the way I would have pictured it," he said.
She sat on the little bed and he sat on the bench. Her eyes softened as the memories flooded back.
"What do you know about your grandparents, Granger?"
And so they began.
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"... nurse and he was a soldier. He'd been injured and when he regained consciousness she was wiping his face..."
"... came to England just after my dad was born. I've seen pictures, he was really cute.."
"... left France after my grandfather passed away. She raised my mum alone..."
"... met at university... "
"... work on people's teeth. Don't laugh, it's a normal Muggle thing..."
"... married after graduation and spent the next few years building a practice..."
"... I was their first grandchild. Dad and Grandad got roaring drunk..."
"... never got sick, no normal childhood illnesses. It makes sense in hindsight, but at the time..."
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He listened while she spoke, guiding her through her family stories, enjoying her enjoyment. He discovered that she had first displayed signs of magical ability when she was three years old. She had wanted her mum to read to her but her mum had been busy and told her to wait until after dinner. In a fit of temper the little Hermione had shattered all the light bulbs in the house simultaneously. Her parents had been frightened. They had debated taking her to a doctor, but, realising how it would sound, they eventually settled on teaching her to read. By age four she was able to read for herself. Books became her refuge in the years that followed, as her friends gradually realised that she was not like them and she began to spend more and more time alone with her books.
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They stopped for lunch and then continued. This time he sat on the bed and she sat at the window.
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When her Hogwarts letter had arrived, the Grangers had been shocked and skeptical. Then relief had set in. Their daughter wasn't ill. She was just a witch. True to form, they had gone out and bought as many books on the subject as they could find.
If her parents had been relieved, Hermione had been much more so. She had begun to think that she was insane. She had withdrawn completely from her friends, convinced that they were right - there was something wrong with her. The lightbulbs. Wristwatches that would never work. Pages that would turn by themselves when she was really engrossed in a book. Television programs that would go fuzzy when she walked close by the set. She wasn't normal.
As Draco watched the emotions play on her face as she spoke, he realised that the little girl Hermione had been very lonely. Until she got to Hogwarts. He understood why she had been so determined to prove herself at school. And why his taunts had been so painful for her.
Eventually they stopped. Draco stood and stretched. He walked over to her and pulled her onto her feet.
"Enough for today, Granger?"
She nodded and smiled up at him. "Yes. We did good today, I think. Thank you for helping me. You must have been bored."
"No I wasn't. I liked getting a peek into your life." He reached behind her head and loosened her plait so that her hair fell loose around her shoulders. "Believe it or not, little girl Hermione had a lot in common with little boy Draco. We could have been good friends if I hadn't been such a prat."
She shook her head. "That would have been a very great pity."
He raised an eyebrow. "It would?"
"Yes. If we had been close friends since childhood, then it would be very weird right now for me to do this." She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
He sighed and held her tightly to him. "I take it back then. I'm very glad I was a prat as a boy." He took a deep breath, the smell of her hair and her skin intoxicating. "It's a great relief that there's no weirdness when we do this." He rested his forehead against hers and for a few moments they simply stood there, swaying gently, as though to music only they could hear.
She pulled away so that she could see his eyes. "Draco, can I ask you something?"
He frowned. Questions that needed permission were seldom comfortable to answer. He nodded cautiously.
"You told me that you have loved me for years. Is that true?"
He nodded again.
"How many years? When did you know?" She had reviewed their history in her mind, and his behavior towards her all the way through school made it hard for her to believe him.
He moved away from her and sat on the little bed. "Well I can't pinpoint the exact moment," he said with a deceptively casual shrug. "Why do you want to know?"
"It's just that I've searched my memory and I honestly can't think of a single time you even seemed to like me, let alone love me."
He sighed and leaned back on his hands. "Really, Granger? Not a single time?"
She thought hard. "No," she said finally. "Not a single time."
"Well, I am very good at masking my feelings, so I don't blame you for not noticing. And we never really moved in the same circles."
She was insistent. "But how long, Draco?" She sat next to him on the little bed.
He sighed mentally. She wasn't going to let it go.
"Since before I even knew what it was, Granger." He lay back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. "In retrospect, it started some time during first year, I think."
She stared at him, her eyes wide with disbelief. "First year?"
He crossed his arms behind his head to form a sort of pillow. "I know. Hard to believe, right? To be honest, though, it took a couple of years even for me to recognise it for what it was. I mean, I had the jealousy and the house rivalry thing to deal with at first. For a while, I told myself I was secretly defying my father when I helped you."
She frowned. "When you helped me? And when did you ever help me?"
He turned his head and regarded her seriously. "Really? Do you mean to say that you never, even for a moment, wondered who put that page about the basilisk in your book bag in second year? Or did you just never put two and two together?"
Her voice was so low he almost didn't hear her. "That was you?" Her mind whirled. Images of his face, the curl of his upper lip as he insulted her, the disdain in his voice. His eyes as he wounded her with his words: filthy little mudblood… images that conflicted with this new image of him furtively slipping the torn page into her bag, to be found by her later that day. And then, as though a fog was lifting, the fleeting almost-memory of watching him tear a page from a book in Flourish & Blotts before the start of term, and stuffing it into his pocket, and her conviction that anyone who defaced a book was a barbarian beyond description.
"So long ago," she whispered. Was it really possible that she had so profoundly misjudged him for half her life? "How many other times, Draco?"
"A few. In third year I confessed to Dumbledore that I never meant for Buckbeak to die. In that conversation I persuaded him to make an exception to the rule and allow you to use the time turner to make things right. Dumbledore knew how I felt about you before I did."
He smiled at her shocked expression. "Yes, third year," he continued. "An eventful year for me, on the whole." He returned his gaze casually to the ceiling. "It was the year I first masturbated with you in my head."
She blushed and then laughed ruefully. "And then I went and punched you on the nose, and that was the end of that, I'm sure."
"No, it was actually the other way around."
"What? What do you mean?"
"The day you punched me… that evening …" he hesitated. He hated that sex and violence had been so interlinked in his mind back then. He was suddenly reluctant to expand.
"Go on," she insisted, "That evening… what happened?"
"I was lying in my bed. I was absolutely furious at you for humiliating me in front of my friends. I started to fantasise about how I would get you back." His voice dropped so that she had to lean towards his to hear him. He closed his eyes before he continued. "I imagined finding you in the bathroom. Pinning your hands behind your back and shoving you up against the cold tiles. Whispering in your ear that if you ever dared to touch me again I would kill you. I wanted to imagine how I would make you cry and beg me to let you go." He swallowed. "I don't want to carry on."
"Please tell me, Draco," she said gently. "I really want to know. I need to understand the Draco I didn't know existed."
His silence dragged on and she was about to tell him that it was alright, she didn't need to know, when he continued.
"When I imagined being so close to you, putting my mouth to your ear, my body just took over. Instead of the scene I had planned, it changed into an image of me holding your wrists so that you couldn't fight me off, lifting your skirt and shoving my hand down the front of your knickers and making you come despite yourself. To this day I can remember the image of your face as you came saying "Please, Draco." I jerked off with that image in my head. It was the most powerful orgasm I had ever had. Later when I was falling asleep I realised that it was because in my fantasy you weren't begging me to let you go out of fear. You were begging me to touch you and you had said my name. For a long time after that, every time I jerked off, and believe me when I tell you that teenage wizards masturbate a lot, I had you in my head."
"By fourth year I had kind of figured out how I felt, but it hardly ever felt good. It nearly drove me wild. I loved you because I couldn't not, and I hated you because you so obviously despised me and it could never be and I was doomed, and then I loved you again. I hated you because I loved you. Sometimes I loved you and hated you simultaneously." He sighed deeply. She took his hand and he linked his fingers with hers.
After a few moments he continued. "What else happened that year?" he mused to himself. "Let's see… Well, I had never wanted to actually kill anyone as much as I wanted to kill Krum." He glanced at her and caught her look of incredulity. "I was so jealous of him I could taste it like bile in my mouth. I had never really believed you would end up with the Weasel, but Krum.. he was different. I could see you were attracted to him. I wanted him dead so badly." He paused and smiled at the sound of her chortling softly. "He is actually quite an intelligent bloke, but a few well timed confunduses and he was a stuttering fool every time he was around you."
She gasped. "You were the reason he couldn't talk to me? How could you do that, Malfoy?" she poked him playfully in the ribs and he smirked.
"I knew you could never be serious about any wizard who couldn't match that giant brain of yours."
She was having a hard time reconciling this new information with the Malfoy she had so firmly believed she knew all those years. She felt that she needed to sit in a quiet place and re-evaluate her whole life.
His voice became quiet again. "Fifth year was the start of a dark time for me. I had to find all sorts of ways to stop that psycho Umbridge from finding you and Potthead and stopping the DA, and do it without letting anyone know. The only way I could think of was to join the Inquisitorial Squad and do it from the inside. They were all brutish idiots - easy to misdirect."
"Draco," her voice was hushed, "that was so dangerous. If they had found out... If your father had found out…."
"I know," he interrupted her. "But by then I didn't have a choice. I was in love with you and I couldn't lie to myself about it any more. I knew it could never happen for us - you hated me apart from anything else -but I wanted to protect you. And I fucking hated that a lot of the time the only way I could do that was by helping Potter."
He grinned suddenly. "That ridiculous SPEW of yours," he chuckled. "You were such a crusader and god how I loved that about you." He turned to her. "You have no idea how much courage I found just by watching you persevere with that in the face of all the ridicule and scoffing. You just didn't care because you knew you were right."
She was subdued. She placed her fingers on his chest, where she knew there were silvery scars from Harry's curse. "Sixth year," she prompted in a whisper.
He was quiet for a while. "Yes, sixth year." He placed his hand over hers. "The year my life turned to shit."
She swallowed. Now that she had an idea of who he had really been all those years, other things started to fall into place fast. "You looked so ill that year because you resisted the promise you made to kill Dumbledore."
He nodded. "Fuck it, Granger, I worked so hard to appear to be trying to succeed and at the same time praying that you would realise the truth and find a way to stop me. I kept giving Potter tiny clues and he kept trying to convince you but you just wouldn't believe him."
"But I suppose good things come out of bad things. When Aunt Bella used the cruciatus on you…. " his voice faltered, as though the memory was still fresh and painful, ".. when I watched her torture you… my hate for her was the trigger that led me to realise that I had the talent for kinesis. My hatred festered in my mind until it literally consumed me."
She watched his face, hearing the change in his voice, and she shivered.
"Finally a few days later I was alone in my room and I imagined using the curse on her. I imagined her pain, how good it would feel to make her scream in agony the way she had made you scream… and the next thing, I heard her scream. She was in the library with my father but I could hear her scream and scream, it echoed through the manor. I ran into the library and saw her lying on the floor and my father leaning over her. They tried to trace the spell but couldn't. Even then I didn't realise that it had been me. I realised it soon, though, the very next time I remembered your eyes while you screamed and I again imagined cursing her. And heard her scream once again.
"Back then I wasn't in control of it, though, and I didn't want to always use it out of hate. When I tried to do it on purpose it was hard. It took a long time, and I had nobody to teach me, it was all trial and error."
She was still for a long time. All those years. He had loved her all those years. She had been so wrong.
He tugged her sleeve playfully. "Hey, earth to Granger!"
She jerked and looked at him solemnly.
He patted her arm, "No, don't look so glum, love. It's all in the past and look how it turned out. It's all good. Smile for me."
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She leaned into him with a sigh, and he pulled her closer. When she opened her eyes, the room around them had changed. She looked around, surprised. Her childhood bedroom was gone, replaced by a sophisticated room decorated predominantly in varying shades of cloud grey, from deep and stormy to pale and ethereal, accented with glints of antique silver and hits of soft white.
"Where are we now?" she asked.
"My bedroom. This is my bed," he said.
She seemed shocked. "What? Not black or green?!" The room was moody and beautiful, dominated by a large canopy bed draped with soft muslins in grey and white. "This room is .. it's... beautiful!"
He sighed. "Malfoys have taste, Granger. Why must you stereotype me so? Now lie down if you please."
She complied as he pushed her gently down onto the large bed. She scooted back until she lay with her head on one of the pillows, smiling cheekily at him.
"Are you tired, Malfoy?" she teased.
He crawled over to her and stretched out on top of her, smirking as she purred and slipped her arms around him.
"No, Granger, I'm not at all tired. Especially when you rub against me like that." He nuzzled her neck, enjoying the warmth and softness.
Draco suddenly lifted his head and grinned down at her. "I don't know why witches have a problem with being used. This morning was so hot. You can use me all you like. Anywhere, any time."
"Anywhere? Any time? Are you sure?" she smirked.
He nodded. "Yes, I want you to. In the middle of the night or in the middle of a restaurant. My body is yours to use as and when you want it. I like being used by you."
"Well I'm very glad to hear that. There are a few places I would like to use your body." She grinned up at him.
He looked delighted. "Where?"
She pondered for a moment. "In the Restricted Section, obviously. In the Great Hall. The Book Shoppe in Hogsmeade. And in a recent development… on a broom while flying."
His grin broadened. "That can most definitely be arranged at very short notice."
"Your turn."
He thought for a moment. "Middle of a Quidditch field during a match. To deafening applause, it goes without saying. Middle of the Potions Lab, during class. Hogwarts Express in a full compartment."
She stared at him in mock horror. "You're a closet exhibitionist!" Then she looked closer. "You're serious? You'd like to have sex for an audience?"
"I'd love to. I know it won't happen, but that doesn't stop me thinking about it. I imagine you, spread-eagled on the field, everyone getting turned on watching me kiss and lick every part of you, then they all start to touch each other while I ram my cock into you…a massive orgy with us in the middle."
She swallowed. "And in Potions Class?"
"The students are working on their potions and you come over and stand in front of me. You unzip my pants and climb onto my lap and ride me, the students all stop what they are doing and suddenly they are all making themselves come while they watch us."
Her breathing was shallow. "Hogwarts Express?" she asked faintly.
"Ah yes, my favourite for years. We are in a full compartment, we go into the tunnel and when we come out into daylight, you are on your knees between my legs, sucking me off, and then -" he broke off.
"Then….?"
"I can't tell you."
She stared. "You can tell me about a mass orgy fantasy but this you can't tell me? Seriously?"
"You might not like it."
"Tell me anyway. I will be the judge of what I like."
He looked at her cautiously. "And you will remember that it's just a fantasy and that the wizarding world has different views on.. certain things…. than you're probably used to?"
"Tell me."
"So the train comes out of the tunnel and you are sucking my cock. Your hands are on the insides of my thighs and you're holding my legs open. I look down at your face and see my cock sliding into your mouth while you look into my eyes. Fuck, it's the most erotic image, even now." He watched her face as he continued. "Then one of the wizards in the compartment with us gets onto his knees behind you and drops his pants and starts to fuck you. Every time he shoves into you he pushes you against me and my cock slides deep into your mouth. The others in the compartment watch us. All three of us come hard and loud."
She inhaled sharply. He watched and waited.
"Who is he, Draco?"
"No, Granger."
"Who?" She arched her body up against him, rubbing her breasts against his chest. He gazed intently at her. Was she aroused? This was an extremely unexpected but interesting development.
"Who, Draco? Who fucks me while I suck you off?" Her hands slipped down his back to pull him against her as she pushed her hips up against him.
He looked into her face and felt himself harden as he saw her eyes glazed with lust. "Sometimes it's Nott. Sometimes it's Zabini. Once it was both."
Silence.
"It's just a fantasy, Granger."
"Would you make that one a reality if you got the chance?"
Another silence. His breath caught in his chest as she moaned and rolled her hips against his hardness.
He dipped his head and spoke softly into her ear. "Yes. If you were ok with it I would love to make that one real." He rubbed against her, causing her to arch against him with a tiny whimper.
With a growl deep in his chest, he vanished their clothes and reached between her legs. She was very wet. Merlin, I love that about her, he thought.
"I want you, Malfoy." Her voice was deep and husky.
He couldn't believe it. The idea of a threesome had her panting and wet. The knowledge that she was so aroused by an image that he had harbored for years made his head swim.
He suddenly pushed her onto her back and knelt between her legs, lifted her knees and spread her legs impossibly wide. "I need to fuck you now, Granger, hard."
She moaned, unable to form the words to express her need.
He slammed into her with a roar and she shouted as he plunged into her with enough force to crash the headboard into the wall.
"You want to be fucked by two wizards, Princess? Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you while someone else licks your clit?" the frenzied pumping of his hips punctuated by his rasping grunts.
"Yes yes god Draco fuck.." She clutched at his hips, ramming herself up against him.
He felt his climax building and tried desperately to hold off until she came. "Oh gods Granger, stop!"
She moaned and tried to open her legs wider, clutching at him, digging her nails into his back, grinding her clit against his pubic bone frantically, feeling herself approach the edge.
With a supreme effort he managed a small amount of control. He stopped, panting, and then once he had himself under control again, he pulled out, turned her on her side and entered her from behind. Then he rolled onto his back, taking her with him, her back against his chest, her head on his shoulder. He spread her legs, reached up and cupped her breasts.
"Close your eyes, Granger. Now just feel. Can you feel me? Open your legs wider for me. Can you feel me fucking you?" His movements slowed, his strokes became deep and controlled.
"Yes, Draco, yes yes.."
He whispered into her ear. "Would it feel good if Blaise joined us, baby? Would you like that?"
She didn't respond and he gently pinched her nipples. "Can you feel him sucking your nipples, Granger? Does it feel good to have your tits in his mouth while my cock is in your pussy?"
She whimpered, thrashing her head from side to side, and he felt her thighs begin to quiver. He battled to control himself from exploding into her.
"Feel him sucking your tits while I fuck you. Does it feel good? Does his tongue feel good on you? Do you want him to suck your clit now?"
He placed one hand flat on her lower belly and reached down to draw fast hard circles around her clit with the other. She brought her hands up to touch her breasts and pinch her nipples. She was frantic, pushing back against his cock, but also desperately needing to grind up against his hand. Her breathing was harsh and fast as she allowed her head to fill up with the images he was creating of he and Blaise both fucking, sucking, touching her. She tried to hold her orgasm back, she didn't want this to end.
His voice was rough in her ear. "Does it feel good when he sucks your clit, Granger? Can you feel it? Can you feel how hard my cock is inside you while Blaise eats you? Will you come for us now?" He tightened his arms around her, holding her against him when he felt her begin to pulse around him.
She gasped, took a huge shuddering breath and his name echoed in the room as fireworks exploded behind her eyes, her orgasm ripping through her in waves that rolled on and on.
When he heard her come so hard that she actually yelled his name he could hold back no longer and he rolled them onto their sides and fucked her hard and fast until he joined her, erupting into her, his shouts adding to hers.
As they slowly descended, they nestled against each other, moaning, panting, stunned at the ferocity of their coupling.
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Eventually they stretched out and lay side by side.
"Fuck," Draco said softly. He turned his head to look at her.
She met his eyes anxiously. "Draco, you know I don't really want Blaise, right?"
He reached for her hand and with an effort brought it to his lips. "Relax, my love. I know how fantasies work. And I was the one who brought him in, not you."
They lay there, holding hands, until their breathing returned to normal. Draco turned to face her.
"You keep surprising me. Bloody hell, Granger, you really almost killed me that time! I had no idea that you fantasise about threesomes."
"Well, it's not really something I have ever shared. And I always felt a bit guilty about it. I had no idea that it could be so powerful. A fantasy, I mean."
He watched her. "Would you like to try it for real one day?"
She turned to him and looked at him in silence for a while.
"Would you hate me if I said yes?"
"No. Are you saying yes?"
Silence.
"Granger? Do you want to try it?"
"Have you?"
"Yes."
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Yes."
"It would depend on who the other person was."
"Would you like it to be Zabini?" The possibilities were tantalising.
"I would never do that to Ginny," she said firmly.
He smirked. "You might be shocked to hear that Blaise has already asked me how you feel about it. He and Ginny have been acting out their fantasies. She likes the idea as much as he does."
She stared at him, speechless.
"Now that you know Ginny likes the idea, does that make it easier for you?"
More silence. Merlin, it's like pulling teeth, he thought.
"Granger? Does it?"
"Yes," she whispered, quickly squeezing her eyes shut and hiding her face against his chest. "Do you mind, Draco?"
He put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "I just found out that the witch I'm in love with not only shares my favourite fantasy but wants to act it out with me. Just thinking about that made me come so hard that I can't feel my legs. I think it's safe to say that I don't mind."
"Are you sure?" she asked. She had never even thought about actually acting out a threesome. Would he be jealous if she liked what the other man was doing to her? Would it be weird afterwards?
"I love you, Hermione. And I trust you. Even when I hated you I knew you could be trusted. And I am not the type to get jealous about sex games. Neither is Blaise. We know how to separate sex from love. If you fell in love with him, I would have a problem with that. But if having two wizards will give you pleasure, then I want you to experience that."
He sighed deeply, savouring the heaviness of his limbs. "Do you think you might fall in love with him?" he asked.
She heard the tease in his voice and considered for a moment.
"Well I don't think so," she said thoughtfully. "Mind you, he is very good looking, you know, and Ginny says he is exceptionally good in bed. So who knows what might happen?"
"You are very lucky that I can't move yet, Granger, or else I would have to tickle you again."
She sobered. "I can't fall in love with him, Malfoy. I am already in love. And I have always been able to differentiate between sex and love."
They lay curled up against each other for a while.
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"What would you like to do this evening? Go out? Stay in?" he asked. They were ready to head back to the dorm.
"Stay in. I want a nice quiet evening."
"We stay in then. I can't promise it will be quiet, though."
She smirked at him. "And you call me a pervert!"
"I will have you know, miss, that I meant that Red is probably dying to tell you all the sordid details of her latest encounter with Zabini. What did you think I meant?"
She laughed. "Alright, maybe I am a pervert then."
He dipped his head and left a trail of kisses down her neck and then nuzzled her cleavage. She arched her back as he kissed the warm skin between her breasts.
"But after Red has had her turn, I admit that things could get very noisy indeed."
She took his hand. "Let's go. I could do with a firewhiskey."
