Chapter 20: Me

Al.

~O-O~

We were in the library. Cale kept telling me to do his fucking work but it was early, the fireplace was warm and Scorpius was here so there was pretty much no way I was going to get anything done.

I could feel Cale's eyes on me still so I stuck my foot up under his shirt. He squealed and tried to wiggle out of the way but he forgot about my abnormally long legs.

"Give it up, man, you can't escape me," I said. Cale settled down scowling with my legs in his lap. I wished Finn were here and not off somewhere probably fucked out of his mind. At least Finn could take a fucking joke.

After a few more minutes Cale got bored of me trying to undo his belt with my feet and he left. I don't think Scorpius even noticed. His head was bent over his paper and he was scribbling fast like if he stopped for one second all the words in his head would disappear. I watched him for awhile until he said, "Don't you have work to do." He lifted is head. "Your eyes are burning a whole in my skull."

I rolled my eye and groaned. "I'm bored. Charms sucks. Wanna make out?"

Scorpius glared at me. "No. I-" He pointed at himself. "-have work to finish and you-"he pointed at me,"-have work to start."

I whined for a solid 45 seconds until Scorpius said, "Fine, you know what. If you write 6 inches of the essay I will reward you."

I hummed. "I like the sound of that."

"It needs to be good too, no bullshit. I'm gonna read it beforehand."

I rolled my eyes. Scorpius went back to work. After a few minutes I realized it couldn't hurt to write a few things down. After a few lines I became distracted by the pale skin of Scorpius's neck. I wanted nothing more than to suck a bruise into his skin- no. I wanted to scratch him. Break his skin.

Mark him as mine.

I wrote 20 more line in the span of four minutes and shoved it towards him without even reading it over. What was wrong with me? I just did godforsaken homework to get a little face time with Scorpius.

Scor's eyes flicked over the page, moving side to side as he read it at an impressive speed. He looked up.

"Very nice," was all he said. He stood and made his way over to me. He sat on my lap, one leg on either side.

"Ready for your reward?" I couldn't even answer.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. His arms were around my shoulders and my hands were on his waist. He tasted like peppermint toothpaste and raspberry lip chap and for a few minutes I felt more alive than I'd felt in awhile.

And then he pulled away and said, "Anther eight inches please."

This time I laughed. Scorpius Malfoy, despite his foibles, was perfect to me.

~O-O~

I must have fallen asleep on that library couch because suddenly Scorpius was gone and it was nearly 1 in the afternoon. I packed up my things, noticing that my essay was finished with the last 5 inches done in another's handwriting. I grinned.

I made my way slowly up to the Gryffindor common room. I had class in an hour but there was no way I was going to go.

Walking by boy's toilets I didn't even know existed I heard a terrible sound coming from inside. Someone was being violently murdered, I was so sure of it.

I poked my head in through the door, expecting blood and carnage. Instead I found Finn, bent over the toilet puking his guts out.

"Jesus, mate, pull it together," I said, leaning down beside him and making sure he was conscious enough to not be near death. I transfigured the soap dish into a glass tumbler and filled it with water from the sink. Most of it ended up on the front of Finn's t-shirt but it woke him up enough to open his eyes.

"Please dear god tell me you're still drunk from last night and you didn't wake up this morning and think, 'hey! I'm gonna get wasted before lunch is even over!'"

Finn laughed slowly and sarcastically. He threw up again and managed to say, "C'mon, Ally. I have more class then that." He threw up immediately.

"Promise to never call me Ally again I will help you up to the dorm right now to sleep it off." Finn mumbled a promise. We left the bathroom but apparently to him helped meant carry. We were almost back at the dorm when he high-fived my face with his skinny flailing noodle arm.

"Ally," he said. "No, shit, sorry. Al. I have an Ancient Runes test today. If I miss it I'm fucked."

It was hard to take him seriously when his head was flopping against my shoulder. I told him to go to sleep and that I would figure it out.

And by I I of course mean Scorpius.

I found him in his dorm room reading a massive tome, humming to himself. He was stretched out on his back with his legs up against the wall. His long, pale fingers were folding the corner of the page he was on back and forth and it was all very distracting. He eventually looked over and said, "how the bloody hell did you get into the Slytherin common room?" at the same time I yelled, "HOT DAMN, SON."

He blinked at me. "What?"

"Never mind. Do you know anyone who could get me Polyjuice potion? Like right now?"

Scorpius sat up straight and walked over to where I was. "Do you think that just because I'm a Slytherin I can get you any illegal substances you want?"

Pause. "Well, can you?"

After a moment Scorpius smirked in the most sinister way I have ever seen. It was the first time he truly looked like a Slytherin.

"Ask Elle, 6th year," he said. "Should be in the common room. Always wears violently red lipstick."

I thanked him and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. He moved his head at the last second so I caught his lips instead.

"Cheeky fucker," I murmured. I could practically hear him grinning as I wound my way back down the staircase.

In the common room there was only one girl with red lipstick. She was playing Exploding Snap against a Slytherin boy while several more watched. I was momentarily taken aback by this girl. Her skirt was very short and her shirt was tied at the middle so you could see some of her midriff. Her high heels made her half a foot taller than all the boys and I could not believe that I hadn't been with her yet.

I walked up to the table and waited. She placed another card on the table and without looking up she said, "How can I help you, Albus Potter."

"Al," I said. "I'm actually looking for something that I was told you might have."

She finally looked up, possibly to judge if I was serious or not. Her eyes were deep and her face was pale and she reminded me of Scorpius. But I would take him over her any day.

"Who did you talk to?" she asked.

"Scorpius Malfoy."

She raised a delicate eyebrow. Without looking away from me she said, "If you'll excuse me, boys."

She lead the way to the girls dormitory. With her heels she was exactly the same height as me.

Her sixth year dorm was a lot cleaner than my dorm had been in sixth year. Finn is a human hurricane and anything he touches gets ruined and displaced in a five foot radius. Girls are a hell of a lot cleaner. And their room smelled like candy canes which was a few months late but was still amazing.

"So what was it you were looking for," Elle called from the other side of the room. She was pulling out a case from under her bed. Her ass was pointed right at me and I wondered if that was on purpose.

"Polyjuice potion," I said. "Weird request but I can't think of anything else at this point."

She sat on her bed with an empty flask in her hand and a larger bottle in the other. "This isn't going to be used for cheating in lessons is it?"

"It one hundred percent will be."

"Ah, good."

I chuckled and she winked at me. As she was pouring some into the flask she asked, conversationally, "So what's the deal on Malfoy? I can't really get a read on him. I always thought we'd get with each other. Really fit, he is."

"He's gay," I blurted out. "Just like... really gay."

She sighed, looking quite disappointed. Very understandable.

"12 Sickels," she said. I only had a Galleon on me so I told her to keep the change. She smirked a little bit.

"So this test you're cheating on. Does it start... right now or... do you have a bit of free time?"

I grinned. "Not for another hour, love."

~O-O~

The hardest part of the whole thing was not laughing as I took the test. After I'd stolen some of Finn's hair from where he was still passed out on his bed in the dorm I strolled into Ancient Runes with the biggest grin on my face. Nobody looked at me weird, probably because at least seventy five percent of the shit Finn does is bat shit crazy and everybody knows it.

Professor Somethingsomething handed out the test. I was very close to writing my name at the top of the page but caught myself. I laughed silently for a good five minutes at that one. I signed the paper His Royal Highness Finley Gordan Harrison. I had no idea what his middle name was so I just made it up.

The test was hard. Obviously, considering I'd never taken a single Ancient Runes course in my life. I wasn't even sure why Finn was taking it because it looked terrible. I bullshitted every question and was done in half an hour. The Professor gave me a very weird look when I handed in the paper. I saluted him and left the room before he could question my ridiculous answers.

I stopped into my favorite loo on the 3rd floor to have a cigarette. It has the biggest window to smoke out of.

It was on the way out that I caught sight of myself in the mirror.

I stared. Finn looked back at me but it wasn't exactly Finn. It wasn't me either. I don't know what exactly what was looking at me.

I started to shake. My breathing picked up. I could feel my heart hammering against my rib cage. This was wrong. It was all fucking wrong.

This isn't Finn. Or Albus. This is AL. THIS IS YOU AL. THIS IT YOUR FUCKING BODY.

I pulled my hand back and punched the mirror as hard as I could. The wall broke all of my knuckles. The shattered glass sliced my skin. Drops of blood spotted the white sink and floor.

I fell to my knees, cradling my hand into my shirt. I screamed for what felt like hours until the pain went down. When it did I could feel my heart slow down and my breathing come back. I fixed the break with my wand but I left the scratches.

I am okay. This is my body- not Finn's, not Albus's. This is my pain. Albus is weak, I wouldn't be here if he wasn't. One day he'll break beyond repair and then it will just be me.

And then I will never be gone.