CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Dean's birthday part 2

Awhile later, Sam came to a stop and looked out of the window. "Dean, we're-" He rolled his eyes when he turned and saw Dean rocking out to a song beside him. "DEAN!"

Dean nearly jumped through the roof, and put his hand on his chest. "What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?" he gasped, turning the music off. "What?"

"We're here, moron," Sam told him, getting out of the car.

"Okay, no need to give me a heart attack." Dean placed his MP3 player in his pocket, and climbed out to join the other two men. "Where are we?" he asked, looking around. His eyes went wide when he saw where they were. "You're kidding."

Sam smiled, and threw his arm around Dean, and led him inside.

"COOL!" Dean exclaimed when he saw the Go-karts, and turned to grin at Sam. "I've always wanted to go Go-kart riding. I asked dad a million times if we could go for my birthday... but I never did."

"Now you have. Since you're still a little too weak to drive your own car right now, in-case you have a dizzy spell and crash... and I know you've always wanted to do it, so here we are."

"We've booked the place for an hour, so ya can drive around with Sam."

"But you'll have to take a five minute break every ten minutes, so you don't feel dizzy or anything. Are you ready?"

"Hell yeah," said Dean, still grinning.

"Come on, we'll introduce you to the guy who runs this place," said Sam, leading him into the changing room where a guy in his early fifties was waiting for them. He had chubby cheeks, a pointy chin, a thin scar on his left cheek, and a head of greying hair.

"Hi. Thanks for doing this."

"You're welcome," said the guy, holding his hand out to the older Winchester. "You must be Dean. It's nice to meet you. I'm Brendan."

Dean shook the offered hand. "Nice to meet you too."

Brendan's brown eyes travelled up and down Dean's thin body, and he winced. "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

Sam's eyes narrowed, and he stepped in-front of his brother protectively. "Stop looking at him like that, he's not some leper, you know. He's sick, he's not going to..."

"Whoa Rambo, down boy," said Dean, putting his hand on Sam's arm, trying to calm him down.

"I'm sorry. Let's get you guys kitted up then."

Fifteen minutes later, the two were ready, wearing blue and black driving suits over their clothes.

"Are you ready?" Brendan asked them.

"Yeah. This is going to be awesome," said Dean with a grin. The smile dropped when he looked to the side, and saw his shadow on the ground. The shape reminded him of a child's badly drawn stick-figure, tall and skinny as a twig. He closed his eyes, and shook his head.

Sam saw the look on his face, and frowned in concern. "Are you alright?"

Dean opened his eyes, and forced a smile to his face. "Of course I'm alright, I'm always alright."

Sam looked at what he was looking at, and felt like crying when he saw the skeletal shadow. He squeezed his shoulder gently, smiling in encouragement. "You can do this."

"I know." Dean took a deep breath, and put his helmet on. "Come on, loser. I'll kick your ass," he said, walking over to sit in one of the Go-karts.

Sam laughed, and put his helmet on too, before joining him. "You're on."

"Remember every ten minutes, take a break," Bobby told them, holding up a flag. "If ya don't, I'll drag ya out by the hair," he said, looking at Dean.

"Why does everybody keep threatening me with violence?"

"Are ya ready?" Bobby asked them. When they both nodded, he waved the flag.

The brothers laughed, and set off. Dean quickly took the lead by speeding off like a lunatic.

"DEAN SLOW DOWN!" yelled Bobby, feeling like a parent to a pair of five year olds.

Dean took one hand from the wheel and gave him a thumbs up, but continued driving like a mad man.

Sam watched Dean, and laughed. He was glad they decided to bring him here as part of his birthday treat, but he hoped that Dean liked his final surprise even more.

Ten minutes later, Bobby waved the flag to let them know it was time for a break.

Dean crossed the line first, and got out with a big grin. "Wooo. That was frigging awesome," he said, taking the helmet off.

Sam came to a stop beside him half a minute later with a similar grin. "This is more fun than I thought."

"Get over here," said Bobby, taking Dean's arm to lead him over to the chairs.

"I can walk over myself, you know," said Dean, but allowed the older man to help him. When he sat down, a drink was shoved in his face. "Do you mind? You nearly frigging blinded me."

"I'll pour it over yer head in a minute," said Bobby playfully.

Dean took the gloves off, before taking the drink.

"Are you warm enough?" Sam asked him, sitting in the chair next to him. "Do you want me to ask Brendan if he has a blanket or something?"

"Do ya feel dizzy?"

"Will you two chill out? I'm fine."

"I swear, if you start feeling sick or dizzy, you better tell us, or I'm going to hit you around the head."

"Yeah, that'll help with the dizziness." As he slowly sipped his drink, Dean kept looking down at the bony fingers on his left hand. Closing his eyes, and clenching his jaw, he curled his hand into a fist.

Sam put his hand over Dean's gently. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he said, removing his hand from under Sam's. "You don't have to keep asking me that."

"I know, but I'm really worried about you."

"You don't have to be. I really am okay," Dean told him with a smile. "Today has been the best birthday ever."

"Good."

"The five minutes is up," Bobby told them, looking at his watch.

"Awesome," said Dean, standing up with his helmet in his hands. "Ready for another ass kicking?"

Sam grinned, and threw his arm around Dean as they walked back to the karts. "Just bring it."

"Oh, I'll bring it, bitch," said Dean, pulling away from Sam to climb into his Go-kart, and put his helmet back on.

When they were ready again, Bobby waved the flag for them to start.

Dean laughed, and put his foot down, speeding off like a bat out of hell.

"You better be careful," Sam whispered to himself, watching Dean speed off, worriedly. His breath caught when it looked like Dean was going to crash, but he took the corner at the last second, like a professional.

The smile on Dean's face never dropped as he drove, this was something he had always wanted to do as a kid, and it was even cooler than he thought it would be. The Go-kart might not be his baby, but at least he was able to drive. He took one hand away from the wheel, and raised his fist in the air, yelling, "WOO! I ROCK!"

Bobby was watching his boys with a fond expression, and had to laugh when Dean raised his fist, and yelled that he rocked. When he looked over at Brendan, and saw he was watching Dean's kart with a frown, the smile dropped. "Got a problem with my boy?"

"Er... No," answered the other man, flinching away from the angry look on Bobby's face. "I er... was just worried he'd hurt himself."

"That's a load of bullcrap, the only thing yer worried about is if he crashes the Go-kart. Don't worry about it, if he crashes, I've got money to pay for it."

"I wasn't... I didn't mean..."

"Save it," he said, turning back to the race. He smiled to himself when he heard Dean laughing again, it had been a long time since he had heard the deep laughter, it was the best thing ever to hear it again.

Dean made it around the circuit once, and ended up neck and neck with Sam again. He raised one hand and waved at his little brother.

Sam waved back, and watched Dean make some hand signals, and point at him. Sam nodded, and the two sped off, trying to beat each other to the finish line.

This time, Dean won by three seconds, and the two climbed out of the karts, laughing. "That was close."

"It was cool," said Dean, taking a deep breath.

"Are you okay? Come on, sit down."

"I'm fine. I'm going to get that tattooed to my forehead, so I can point to it every time you ask me that."

"You can't blame us for being worried about you. I don't want you to overdo it, and end up passing out or anything."

"I won't pass out, I really do feel alright. I'll tell you if I start feeling weird."

"Are ya hungry, son?" Bobby asked the young man.

Dean shook his head with a grimace. "Not right now."

"We'll make you something later, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever. Is the five minutes over yet?"

Bobby looked at his watch. "No. Still have a couple of minutes left."

"I'm going to win this time," Sam told Dean.

"We'll see. The only way you'll beat me to the finish line, is if you don't move."

Sam mock-glared at him. "Want to make a bet?"

"Sure. A million billion dollars to the winner."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "A million billion?"

"Are you scared?"

"Yeah, I'm terrified," Sam told him with a fake shiver.

"So you should be, I'm an awesome driver. It's nice been back behind a wheel again."

"It's only been a few weeks, not years."

"I know, but I miss my baby. Is the five minutes over yet?"

Bobby rolled his eyes, and checked his watch again. "Another minute, but I suppose ya can go now."

"WHOOHOO!" cheered Dean, putting his helmet back on.

After the full hour was over, and the brothers were back in their normal clothes, the little family went back to the Impala.

"Are you ready for a long drive?" Sam asked Dean, starting the car.

Dean paused the music he had on, and frowned over at Sam. "What do you mean? Where are we going?"

"Can't tell you yet, but I bet you'll like it."

Dean turned around to look at Bobby, who was sitting in the back. "Where are we going?"

"Don't look at me, I'm not going to tell ya."

"Fine," said Dean with a scowl, making him look like a grumpy child. He put the earphones into his ears, and turned the music up loud, nodding along to the song that was playing.

Sam looked at Bobby in the rear-view mirror, and shared a smile with the older man.

"Off we go."

"WHAT?"

Sam laughed, and started driving out onto the road. "Nothing."

At five that evening, the Impala pulled up in-front of a huge cabin. "Dean, we're here."

Dean was asleep with his head resting against the seat, so Bobby tapped his shoulder. "Dean?"

The green eyes fluttered open, and looked up at the two men. "What?" he asked, rubbing his face.

"We're here."

Dean climbed out of the car, and his eyes went wide when he saw the huge cabin. "Whoa. What are we doing here?"

"This place belongs to a friend of mine, he offered it to us for the weekend for yer birthday, but Sam had an idea, so we had to come early."

"Yeah. We're staying for three days, there's a huge lake that has fish in over there," Sam told him, pointing at the huge lake.

"How can we stay for a couple of days? We've got no clothes," said a confused Dean.

"Don't worry, I packed some clothes for us," Sam told him, getting two duffels out of the trunk. "I brought your DVDs, books and games too."

"Cool." Dean tried to grab one of the bags, but Sam held them out of reach, and put his other arm around Dean.

Bobby opened the door for the two young men, and stepped aside to let them in. "Go on, have a look around."

Dean's breath caught when he stepped through the front door. "Wow. This place is awesome."

When the three of them walked into the main room, Dean raised his eyebrows when he saw all the mounted animal heads above the huge stone fireplace. "Whoa. It looks like the cast of Bambi has been massacred... I like it," he said, making Sam and Bobby laugh.

"Is your friend a hunter hunter, or a demon hunter?" asked an awed Sam.

"Both. I sometimes used to hunt with him, before a giant bear got him first, and ripped his leg off."

"Ouch. Is he... er... alive?"

"Of course he's alive, dumbass. How the hell do ya think I got the key, contacting his ghost through a Ouija board?"

"Sorry, that was a stupid question. Hey, where's Dean gone?"

Bobby blinked in surprise, and looked around to see Dean wasn't with them. "Dean?"

They searched the huge rooms, and eventually found him in the basement, which had been made into a game room.

"Wow. This is the coolest place ever," Dean whispered, looking around at the dartboard, the pool table, huge widescreen TV, the bar, and the video game section in the corner.

Bobby smiled when he saw the familiar room. "He left it the way we made it."

"You built this? Why don't you do this at yours? If you did that, Sam and I would never leave," said Dean, making them laugh again. "Can we have a game of pool?"

"Maybe tomorrow. After I've shown ya around the place, ya may be too tired to play," said Bobby, winking at Sam, who grinned back.

They went upstairs next, to look at the five bedrooms. "Pick any room ya want."

Dean nodded, and checked every bedroom, picking the last one which had a TV, and a huge adjoining bathroom with a jacuzzi and shower.

"This is the master bedroom," Bobby told them, before showing them the huge bathroom. "This is the only room with its own bathroom, the other one is down the hall."

"I'm choosing this one," said Dean, throwing himself on the bed.

"I'm in the one next door."

"I'll be in the one down the hall," Bobby told them, smiling down at Dean, who was almost asleep on the bed. "Are ya going to get cleaned up? And ya don't have enough time to go in the jacuzzi."

"Awwwww," Dean whined dramatically. "I guess I'll have a shower."

Sam immediately looked worried. "But what if you get dizzy and pass out?"

"You'll hear the thud when I hit the floor," said Dean, sighing when Sam's face dropped. "Fine. You can stay in here if you want, so you don't have a spaz attack or anything."

Sam nodded, and sat down on the bed, staring at his brother, making the other two men roll their eyes.

"I'll be downstairs. There should be plenty of hot water, my friend's son was around earlier, and made sure everything was ready," Bobby told them, before leaving them alone.

"Put on a clean pair of clothes, you'll be going out again when you've finished."

Dean frowned in confusion, but grabbed his things from one of the bags. "I'll be ten minutes."

"Okay, I'll be in here."

Dean looked as if he was going to say something, but he turned and walked into the huge bathroom. He chose a new song on his MP3 player, and put it on the highest volume, and left it on the side, so he could still hear the music, which was a Queen song. After starting the shower, Dean reluctantly took his layers of clothes off, and stepped under the spray.

As Sam waited, he chewed on a fingernail worriedly, ready to shoot up in-case Dean needed him.

While he showered, Dean kept his eyes closed so he didn't have to look at himself. He hadn't looked at his body since that time in Bobby's bathroom, and refused to look until his body was back to how it used to be. He clenched his jaw in disgust as he washed his body, and felt nothing but bone.

'...Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go, Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows). I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all...'

He shook his head, not noticing when the first tears started falling down his cheeks, blending with the water falling from above and pouring down his thin body. His face crumpled, and his breathing hitched as his fingers ran over the protruding ribs.

Eventually, Dean couldn't hold himself together any longer. His legs gave out from under him, and he dropped to his knees and started sobbing uncontrollably, the tears poured from his eyes as freely as the water was pouring from the shower.

Almost two minutes later, he fell back against the tiles, and raised his knees to his chest, running his fingers through his wet hair, before resting his head on his knees. "I don't wanna die," he whispered tearfully, his body trembling as he sobbed. "I don't wanna die anymore."

After awhile the tears dried up, Dean leaned his head back against the wall and stared up at the water pouring down on him, humming along to the new song that was playing. He was no longer sobbing, but his face was blotchy and tear stained, his eyes were swollen and watery, his breathing hitched and hiccuped as he tried to get himself under control.

He didn't know how long he spent under the water, and jumped a mile when Sam suddenly banged on the door. "DEAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Dean cleared his throat and wiped his face. "Yeah. I'll be out in a few minutes." He took a deep breath, feeling a lot better, and turned the water off, before grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist, and stepping out of the shower.

Clearing the condensation from the mirror, Dean stared at the pale, bony, freckled face reflected back at him. "I can do this, I'm Dean Winchester, dammit," he said, taking a deep breath.

The watery eyes narrowed, and his face set in determination, while his lips curled up into a familiar smirk. "You won't beat me. I've never backed down from a fight, I'm not going to start now," he whispered, before turning away from the mirror.

As he dressed, he couldn't help thinking it would be so much easier if this was a body he could salt and burn, or a demon he could exorcise. But this fight was against his own body, and he wasn't about to get his ass kicked by something he couldn't even see.

After Sam had forced Dean to lay down and rest on the bed for twenty minutes, the two finally walked downstairs and were greeted by a smiling Bobby. "Are ya ready for the big surprise?"

"As we said earlier, we were going to bring you here for the weekend. But when Bobby told me there was a huge field beyond all the trees at the back of this place, we organised one more special surprise."

"Seriously Sam, it's already been enough. This has been the best birthday ever."

"It's about to get even better."

Dean jumped when Bobby's hand suddenly covered his eyes. "Er... Guys?"

"Trust us," said Sam, taking his arm and gently leading him out of the back door.

With his eyes covered, Dean couldn't see the wires trailing from the cabin and into the field.

A couple of minutes later, the three men came to a stop. "Here we are," said Bobby, taking his hand away.

Opening his eyes, Dean gasped when he saw the stage and the four men, one holding a guitar, one with a keyboard, and another behind a set of drums. "Holy crap," he breathed in shock.

Seeing Sam nod, the band began playing happy birthday to the tune of 'Stairway to heaven'. "There's a birthday boy here, who is twenty eight years. And he is no longer twenty seven..."

"We were originally going to get tickets to see one of your favourite bands, but since you don't do too well with crowds of people, we thought we'd organise a concert just for you. I know a tribute band isn't the real thing, but..."

"It's amazing, Sam," Dean whispered, still in shock. He could not believe Sam and Bobby had hired a Led Zeppelin tribute band to play just for him.

"They take requests, so are you going to suggest something?" he asked, leading him over to sit in the armchair that had been placed there. After making sure he was comfortable, Sam covered him up with the blanket.

Dean looked up at Sam, and back at the band. "Er... When the levee breaks?"

Immediately the beginning notes of 'When the levee breaks' filled the field.

Bobby and Sam sat down on the kitchen chairs on either side of Dean. When he was seated, Sam opened the picnic basket that was beside him, and took out a small triangle sandwich for Dean.

"Thanks," he said, taking the sandwich, but not taking his eyes away from the stage. The band was pretty good, and sounded almost like the real thing.

Sam looked over at Dean, and his heart warmed when he saw him singing along quietly.

After a couple of songs, the tribute band called Dean up onto the stage.

"Me?" asked a surprised Dean, pointing at himself.

Sam nudged his arm. "Get up there."

"Er... Okay," said Dean, getting up, and slowly walking over to the stage. When he was standing beside the others, he was handed a black Gibson SG guitar with a silver skull on it.

"Robert and Samuel told us that 'Ramble on' is one of your favourites, so we thought you might want to play along with us," said the singer.

"Wow. This is soooo cool," whispered Dean, his fingers stroking the beautiful guitar.

"It's yours. Your family told me you've always wanted to perform in a rock band. We may not be the real Zeppelin, because they were bloody epic, but at least we're better than a boyband... They're all a bunch of wankers."

Dean laughed, and looked over at Sam and Bobby nervously. "I've never really played one of these. I've always wanted to learn, but..."

"I'll teach you the chords to play," said the guitarist, walking over to Dean with his own guitar.

Sam was watching the men with his brother, it was nice to see they were treating him like a normal person, and not like he was going to drop dead any minute like the guy from earlier.

Ten minutes later, Dean nodded, and stepped forward. "Er... I think I've got it."

"Okay. Do you need a chair, or will you be alright standing?"

"I'll stand. I've been resting or sitting down nearly all day. I'll be fine," Dean told him, easing his concern.

"Alright then. You can sing too, if you want."

Dean grinned, and turned to Sam and Bobby, who smiled back at him.

The guitarist nodded at Dean, so he started playing the beginning notes like he was just taught.

Bobby and Sam were impressed as they listened to Dean play the right notes on the guitar.

"...Leaves are falling all around, it's time I was on my way..." The singer pointed at Dean, who stepped up beside him.

"Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay," Dean sang softly into the microphone.

"Bloody good job," said the singer with a big smile, before he sang the next part. "But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way..."

Dean couldn't stop smiling, not only was he playing the guitar, but he was also on stage with Zeppelin. They may not be the real thing, but it was the closest he would ever come to it.

After 'Ramble on', the band let Dean play 'Travelling riverside blues' with them, since they knew he loved that one too.

When Dean went to sit down with his new guitar, he had the biggest grin. "That was seriously awesome."

"You were pretty good."

"I fricking rocked," Dean told them, wrapping the blanket around himself, holding his guitar to his chest.

"What's your next request?"

"Uh... All my love."

"You got it." He nodded at the others, and the band started playing again. "Should I fall out of love, my fire in the light. To chase a feather in the wind..."

Dean smiled as he sang along quietly to the song.

There had been many times, especially in the past few months, when Dean had smiled to hide his sadness and laughed to hide his tears, it felt really good to smile and laugh because he was happy. It had been a long time since he felt genuinely happy, and he hoped it lasted.

The band played until the early hours of the morning, and the night ended with a huge firework display that had been set up by Bobby.

"Wow," whispered Dean, watching the fireworks shoot up into the sky where they exploded into a beautiful multitude of different colours.

Sam shifted closer to Dean as they watched the patterns light up the night sky one after the other. He looked over at Dean, and saw the colours reflected in his eyes and the childlike joy on the thin face. Sam had remembered that Dean loved fireworks when they were younger and knew this would be the perfect way to end the day.

Dean's eyes darted from one firework to another, watching the explosions of colour, lighting up the sky with reds, blues, greens, yellows, purples, and oranges.

Colours chased each other across the sky, crackling and exploding as they revealed themselves to the small group of onlookers, before been replaced by the next ones.

Bobby watched the boys huddled together, a rainbow of colours reflected on both their happy faces, making a similar smile cross his own.

Last of all were the rockets, which exploded red, green, and blue, each explosion bigger than the last, each bright splash across the darkness brighter and somehow more beautiful.

"Whoa. Did you see that one? It was frigging awesome."

"Yeah. But that one is better," said Sam, pointing up at the huge blue splash of colour.

A massive bang echoed through the field, and an explosion of different colours lit up the sky, looking like tins of multicoloured paint had been splashed over a canvas.

"WHOA!" they yelled in unison, before turning to grin at each other.

After the fireworks, it was time for bed, so the brothers and Bobby said goodnight to the tribute band. Dean went over, shook their hands and thanked them.

"No problem mate, we had a lot of fun," said the drummer, shaking the thin hand gently, before gesturing to the guitar Dean was still holding. "Keep practising."

"Don't worry, I'll be driving Sammy and Bobby crazy with this thing."

"Good luck," said the singer, shaking his hand again.

"You too. It was the best night ever. Thanks a lot."

"You're very welcome. Goodnight."

"Bye guys," said Dean, before joining Sam on the porch. He gave Bobby a hug, and walked inside. "I can't-" He broke off when a yawn interrupted him, and he rubbed his left eye sleepily.

"Let's get you to bed, sleepy," Sam said, walking his tired brother upstairs. "Bobby wants to get up early to do a bit of fishing."

"As long as you don't wake me up at 'Oh my god, what the hell' o'clock in the morning," Dean grumbled, yawning again.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "That's a real time, is it?"

"In my world, yeah."

"And what world is that? La-la Land?"

"Shut up, freak." At the top of the stairs, Dean stopped and gave Sam a hug. "Thanks for a great day Sammy."

Sam smiled and hugged him back tightly. "You're more than welcome, big brother."

After the hug, the two walked to their own rooms, leaving the doors open. Dean gently placed his guitar on the foot of the bed, and climbed into it.

As he settled down onto the pillow, and covered himself up with the blankets, he tried to choose which part of today was the best, but couldn't decide between getting the Winchester rifle, or the guitar, getting to drive again, the firework display, or the tribute band. Overall, it was the best birthday he had ever had.

Dean closed his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

TBC

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