Delphine feels so peaceful, laid back on Cosima's lap, her newborn daughter on her chest, that she's not sure she's ever felt so elated. Perhaps it's hormones. Or the relief from labour ending. Either way, she tears her eyes away from the baby's face to look up at Cosima.
"Hey." Cosima murmurs down at her, still stroking her hair.
"Hi." Delphine smiles, returning to face her child. The name could wait, she and Cosima could bat it around until they agreed on something. But for now, this was perfect.
"Great job." Cosima offers somewhat meekly. "You did really great. Like, way better than I would have done."
Delphine just shakes her head, "I did what I had to do. I'd do it again to get her." She pauses, stroking her daughter's wet head. "I guess I should try to latch her on."
"No, leave her between your breasts. She can latch herself on." Kendra assured them. "Some babies will. I've seen it, can take a while though… I guess it'll depend if we have enough time." She doesn't put away her equipment, but Delphine assumes the midwife is surveying the...damage between her legs. Did she tear? She wasn't even sure anymore.
Cosima looks doubtful.
"Can she really?" Delphine asked, stroking fingers down her daughter's slippery back.
Small slippery legs kick at her as her daughter draws a hand to her salivating mouth. The baby turns her head against Delphine's skin, mouth open and searching.
"She can." Kendra reassures as the child pushes herself up, seeking. Without success.
"She's… strong?" Delphine looks down, mystified by this. Her baby can move like that? Propel herself against her body with her leg, lift her head.
"Can't we like… help her?" Cosima suggests. "The poor kid just wants to find the nipple." Celeste lets out a small cry as if she agrees, moving again still seeking.
A small hand grabs for her breast, failing twice before managing to squeeze at her nipple.
"If she needs it…" Kendra pauses considering, before checking her watch under her glove. "It can take a long time, we'll see if she gets there… if not, we might speed things along for her."
"Well she found it." Cosima tilts her head curiously, brushing sweaty curls back from Delphine's face. It's slow, and minutes pass with half mumbled conversations, resting back on Cosima's lap seems perfect right now, her love's thighs as a pillow, her child squirming on top of her.
She watches the child edge closer to the breast, raising her head several times before she has success and latches on. She thought they'd have to cut the cord, but the baby is still attached by it and it doesn't impede either of them.
"Oh." Delphine exclaims in surprise. "Déjà faim ma belle?" Of course there is no answer, just more suckling in response.
"Shouldn't we like weigh her?" Cosima asks, "like, are we supposed to?"
"Soon." Kendra assures them, "we'll let her have her first little feed, cut the cord and then I'll weigh her for you."
"Good!" Cosiam grins madly above her head. "Because I want to hold her."
The calm sets in, like it's finally over. All the waiting, all the agony, all leading up to this. Their perfect little human. Cosima is happy. She'd had a girl, like her love had wanted, and soon she'll sleep without pressure on her bladder.
The door clicks open, Avalon's tired face appearing. "I came as soon as I could. I had another delivery across town. Little boy. He's doing well. We should send someone to check on them this afternoon." Why another midwife? Why now when everything is over with. Unless Kendra is going to leave them in Avalon's care. She thinks quickly they should protest when she watches brown eyes skim over them both, eyebrows raising briefly.
Avalon, to her credit, says nothing of how she and Cosima are reclined, or the intimacy of it.
"You missed it." Cosima comments laughing, "we're all done here."
"It's barely started." Avalon looks at her directly, and begins unpacking her case.
"Avalon." Kendra warns, from her spot, crouched on the floor.
"What?" Cosima looks between the two midwives. "But we're done? Right? Baby's out. Placentas can't be that complicated."
Her suspicions hit an all time high, she reluctantly looks up, away from the tiny perfect face of her newborn. "Is there, just one?" Delphine asks finally, directing her question to Kendra.
Kendra shakes her head, "two heartbeats. But we didn't want to raise your anxiety. Your test results were good - there was no reason to do anything. Except keep an eye on you. First time moms usually get two midwives anyway, Avalon was supposed to join us sooner, but her last delivery was complicated."
"What?" Cosima scoffs, looking back at the midwives, "you're joking, right? We… we get another one? Like… you could have warned us!"
"Non…" Delphine breathes very softly. It's second twins they always worry about. That they warn you about. Not to mention, having to labour and push again.
"Ready for baby number two?" Avalon asks as she joins Kendra on the floor. "How did the first one go?"
"First baby was easy, normal presented. Birth about a half-hour ago. Looks like baby two is breech, but not quite engaged yet." Kendra comments, "low though, it shouldn't be long."
"What?" Cosima glances around again, as if she expects to be told this is all some kind of prank. As if midwives thought this was funny.
"Jumeaux…" Delphine mumbles, "Je ne veux pas des jumeaux." A familiar tension returns to her body, as her uterus contracts yet again. Though this time, she only wants to cry. Not that she's not concerned for this baby. For his safety, because the karyotypes she remembers, there was only one XX embryo and two XY, this child… will he be alright?
"OK," Avalon looks them over, "let's get that cord cut."
"What next?" Kendra regards Avalon, much like a teacher quizzing her pupil, as if to them, this was just another stage in education. Despite knowing Avalon was fully trained.
Avalon reaches over, removing the towel, and adjusting the baby's position as gently as she dared, this first feed cut extremely short. "You can try nursing her again after. But she's been out nearly 30 minutes, and I want this clamped so we can work on getting this other baby out." Avalon is brisker, more business-like, and perhaps it's because of them, their relationship. But she clamps the cord without much second thought before pulling out her sterilized scissors.
"Cosima?" Kendra prompts, "go take the scissors from Avalon and cut between the clamps."
Avalon hands the scissors over with a shrug, "go on."
Cosima does, smiling all the while, "now it's my turn to hold you, tiny human." The name, it seems, is still undecided, but there's time for that Delphine decides. Surely she and Cosima can come to some agreement.
"Delphine, we want this baby out, so up on your knees for a bit." Avalon instructs, passing the child to Cosima in a towel, and physically helping Delphine up. "Don't panic, just relax and we'll see if we can get these contractions going again."
"Should we…" Delphine bites her lip, "should we go to the hospital? Call for an ambulance?" Though she has to admit she hadn't even seen an ambulance since she'd been here, if it even exists.
Kendra pulls out the fetoscope leaning in for a long listen, "I have delivered twins before, this is nothing I can't handle."
"Is he… okay?"
"He… or she is fine." Kendra smiles, "maybe a little too comfy."
"Well, it explains a few things." Cosima shushes her, their daughter tucked safely into her arms.
"Second twins are easier, " Kendra attempts reassurance. "He or she will come right out.. Second sac, so we may have a little wait on our hands. But nursing your little one, may just help us get things moving again."
"What is time of birth on the first twin?" Avalon asks, apparently making notes on her delivery.
"7:15 am." Kendra tells her without hesitation. "I got here around 3:30 am. Everything looked really good, smooth delivery. I'm just going to weight this one," She briefly takes the infant, placing her into the fabric sling of her portable scale and raising it to get a measurement. "3.26 kilograms. Just over 7 lbs."
Small. Delphine thinks, her baby is on the smaller side, but still in the realm of normal.
"We'll get this one out," Avalon assures Delphine with a kind hand to the shoulder, she sees her smile when she notices her tense with the next contraction. "Good… " A firm hand checks the baby's position, palpating firmly.
"Cosima, take the baby," Avalon instructs, "and sit back."
"Breech. And engaged." Kendra announces, "looks like this one is coming out ass first."
Avalon giggles, "not ideal. But we'll manage." It's strange hearing such a serious midwife make that sound, she almost forgets Avalon is on the younger side, perhaps, not that much younger than herself.
"Non…" She feels the urge to push again, but she resists. Not a breech. Not a twin… She should ask for a doctor, demand for more attention. Was it too late to turn the baby?
"Delphine," Kendra tries reassuring her, trying to soothe her with her voice. "It's going to be fine."
"Non… it's dangerous." Delphine cries. It's not the ideal position for delivery, she knows a handful of doctors that will deliver breeches, others who would have immediately scheduled a cesarean upon learning that there were twins, or that the child was breech. Avalon continues to palpate her belly, smiling when she feels her contract again.
"Oh god…" Cosima looks on at the scene, clinging to the baby already in her arms. "Is… is everything okay?"
"Everything will be fine, Cosima." Kendra says softly. "We're just going to get baby out, nice and easy."
"It's fine. Stop crying, you'll waste your energy." Avalon's no-nonsense tone tries to curb the panic. "Delphine, listen to what I am telling you, I want you back on your hands and knees and I want you to push."
It hurts, Delphine thinks, it's much worse than pushing out a head, it's awkward and she fears she's not making any progress. What if the baby becomes stuck? What if they both die? What if….?
"Good girl, Delphine. Now stop thinking, and just push." Kendra pats her, moving to support her as she switches places with Avalon, letting the younger midwife be more hands on.
"Good… just with the contractions, there's no rush to this." Avalon instructs, "deep breaths, and little pushes. Slow is better, you already have a skidmark and I don't want you to tear."
She strains, and pushes again. She doesn't want to ask what Avalon means by 'skidmark', she certainly doesn't want to tear.
"And … it's a bum." Cosima announces. Delphine can only presume Cosima is watching the delivery from a safe distance, as she pushes again, wanting this child out so badly. Not just for the relief, as with his sister, but to know that he is alright, that he won't be harmed by his slightly unconventional delivery. That the cord won't be too short. That his head won't become trapped.
"Stop thinking, breathe and push." Kendra instructs softly, patting her head. "That's a girl, and again."
"And legs." Avalon addes, as Delphine feels a finger help pull the child's feet free. "And… it's a boy. One of each, mommy." She addresses Delphine, but perhaps Cosima thinks it is for her.
"Let's get him the rest of the way out." Kendra rubs her back again, "breathe, and push… little pushes."
"Arms are free." Cosima's voice rings out happily, almost cheerfully, "just the head to go." Delphine wonders for a moment if Cosima is completely deluded.
"Non… I don't want to hurt him…" And it's irrational, fearing the boy's head will become trapped, that his little neck will be damaged.
"Stop thinking and push!" Avalon shouts at her, hands moving to catch the child as he finally slides free. He cries instantly.
"He's okay." Delphine lets herself breathe, lets herself relax. "He's okay."
"He's perfect." Avalon tells them, seeming very satisfied with all of this. "I'll just untangle him from his cord and then you can hold him."
"He's tiny!" Cosima squeals, "oh…"
This time, she lets Kendra move her, they lay her back on the floor, grabbing a cushion to put under her head, before placing her second child into her arms. He's fairer than his sister it seems, but still has a fair amount of wispy wet hair stuck to his head.
"Allô bébé…" Delphine greets him, unable to resent this immediately. "Allô Léo…" She remembers the name Cosima wanted, and she's certain that Cosima is beaming at them.
"Here." Cosima returns his sister to Delphine's chest to lay next to him. Putting the towel over the three of them. "You earned it, you're the one doing all the work, maman."
"At least it's over." Delphine lets out a sigh, she's elated and terrified, but expressing something other than joy would be wrong, would be completely out of place. She has two healthy, breathing, pink children with delicate tiny fingers, and perfect little toes. Their tiny lips move as they whimper and squirm, seemingly content in her arms.
"We still have placentas to go." Kendra looks back at them, "but yes, we are much closer to done." She smiles, looking at the babies. "It won't be long now, usually takes about a half hour on its own. And we don't speed things up unless there's an emergency."
"Well done, Delphine," Avalon pats her shoulder. "Well done. Now you get your break, enjoy them."
"Delphine, look at how perfect they are." Cosima coos, "oh look at them."
She looks at the tiny naked people pressed to her own body, they squirm and grunt, but seem content pressed to her skin. Perhaps they can smell the milk, she wonders if the midwife had a point.
Delphine regards her second born, her son, with concern. "He's very small."
"But he's healthy." Kendra subs in, "they both look really good Delphine. And we'll give them both a thorough check before we go. And someone will be by tomorrow morning to look in again."
"You did an amazing job." Cosima assures. "Just… oh …can I hold one? Again?" Cosima's voice betrays only excitement, none of the fear Delphine feels at instantly having two children.
"We want to make sure they can both feed before we leave." Avalon informs her, "we'll make sure they can nurse, make sure we get all the placenta out… and then we'll be on our way."
At last she gets to go to bed, with her new children. But sleep doesn't come. She stares at them, admires them, fusses over them. Worries intensely about her life now, when she feeds them both her arms are occupied and she still needs help, mostly to get them into position. And it's mid afternoon and she's stuck in bed, useless, except to her infants.
But perhaps it is Cosima's reaction to their children that bring her the greatest joy. And the fact that she was finally done, that maybe she could sleep, if not through the night, then at least without having to empty her bladder during the small stretches of sleep she hopes to accumulate. But when will she sleep with two of them?
"Oh, tiny humans." Cosima looks down happily, a blanket wrapped bundle in each arm. "Look at you…"
Delphine tries to rest, she's fed them both multiple times, lain with the two of them on her bare chest under a towel for the better part of the last three hours. But, despite feeling wired, Kendra and Avalon had insisted she try to rest as much as possible. Rest, rest may never be possible again with two squalling infants demanding her attention with loud wailing pleas for milk and comfort. How was she going to manage to finish treating Cosima? How was she supposed to tie two tiny delicate babies to her body and carry on?
"Celeste and Leo." Cosima grins down at their babies, completely oblivious to the problems they have just inherited. "You are both so perfect."
She loves them, she knows she does, even as her son squawks and she shushes him. "Ne pleurez pas mes anges." Delphine coos, even as Cosima is passing her a loosely wrapped baby in a blanket.
"We're going to need more diapers." Cosima grimaces slightly.
"Yes."
"And maybe, some help." Cosima suggests, "though honestly, having Alison here even just doing our laundry would probably drive both of us insane… she's a total control freak."
"We'll manage." Delphine says, trying to sound a lot more confident than she feels. They will manage, she thinks as she moves to latch a whimpering, rooting newborn to her breast, because they have to manage. There is no other option.