Chapter 21: Clashing Desires
"Everybody has a secret,
But can they keep it?
Oh, no, they can't."
--"Secret." Maroon 5
"This is strange," murmured Rei to herself in the morning. She brought a hand up to her lips as she stared at herself in the mirror, her jade eyes flickering. "This is very strange."
"…Rei?" said Kate, placing a hand on Rei's shoulder. "Are you…talking to yourself?"
"This is so weird," said Rei, not hearing Kate and instead moving her own hand so that it hovered over her heart. "This is…"
"What is?" said Kate gently.
"I don't know," answered Rei, brow furrowed and not quite realizing that she was even conversing with someone. "Ever since last night, my heart's been beating oddly…and my lips…they burn, for some reason…"
"Did Mikk do something?" inquired Kate kindly.
Rei's head abruptly cleared at the sound of Tyki's name.
"…Oh," she said, finally seeing Kate. "Good morning, Kate."
Kate sighed.
"Are you telling me that you thought you were talking to the wall the entire time?" she said, retracting her hand from Rei's shoulder and turning her attention back to her own reflection. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," said Rei quickly, scrubbing her face with a towel.
"Didn't sleep well last night?" said the European woman lightly.
"I, uh, yeah, it wasn't that great."
"Perhaps you met up with Mikk for a midnight rendezvous on the roof or something?" she said slyly.
"No," muttered Rei, blushing. She then added in an undertone, "On the patio."
"What was that?" said Kate, brushing her eyelashes with a mascara brush.
"Nothing," she replied, brushing her teeth.
Kate sighed again. "Hurry up, dear, I need to do your makeup. Though you really need to learn how to do it yourself…"
"I don't understand why I can't just go out in normal clothes," said Rei, eying her selected outfit distastefully. "Why does Tyki always choose clothes that are so…revealing?"
"That's hardly revealing," said Kate, now drawing on eyeliner. "It's funny how he chooses your clothes, mm? He seems to like you quite a lot."
"He, uh…"
Rei was saved from a response as the bathroom door opened, and in walked a disheveled Lenalee, who still looked cute despite her morning haggardness.
"Morning," the Chinese girl yawned. "Do you know when we're leaving for the Islands?"
The question was directed to no one in particular, so Kate, the mediator of the unnecessary tension between Rei and Lenalee, answered.
"We have to greet the public and press in about an hour. Both of us have already taken a shower, so you can go in now."
Lenalee nodded appreciatively and disappeared into the shower room, shutting the door tightly behind her. Rei rinsed out her mouth and wiped her face again with the towel.
"I suppose I should get changed," she said, letting out a breath.
"Yeah," said Kate, blinking at the mirror so that her eyelashes didn't stick together. "I think we have professional makeup artists downstairs, so I'll just do your basic stuff and we'll wait for Lenalee and go down together."
"Joy," Rei muttered under her breath, taking off her bathrobe and shuffling through the pile of clothes to take out the strapless dress that Tyki had sent to her early in the morning. It had somewhat of a Gothic style, with lots of frills, red bows, and a red belt around the waist. Relatively cute, definitely not Rei's style.
Rei could see Kate eying her bare back in the reflection of the large bathroom mirror.
"What is it?" said Rei, slipping the dress on. It fit surprisingly well—Rei had thought she wasn't "endowed" enough for keep a casual strapless on.
"Nothing," said Kate. "I was just…wondering…if you don't mind me asking, how did you get those scars?"
Rei looked at her reflection, realizing that a prominent gash was visible on her shoulder blade.
"Shit," she cursed. "I forgot about that…damn it, I can't wear this—"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry," said Kate worriedly.
"No, it's nothing, I just can't go out with scars on my back for my first 'press conference,'" she said wryly. "Tyki…he must have forgotten about them."
"Oh…well…" Kate's voice trailed off awkwardly.
"Oh, I never answered your question," said Rei, pulling a jacket that didn't match the frilly dress. "Did you not hear about that assassination attempt on Kanda earlier in the month? I got a bit caught up in the mess…so that's where they come from."
"Wait…Lavi did tell me something about that. He said that someone pulled Kanda out of harm though—that was you?"
Rei nodded in response.
"Why in the world would you do that?" said Kate, looking scandalized. "How could you put yourself in harm for someone you hardly know? And jeopardize your modeling career at that! No offense, Rei, but you're still a newbie even though you're with the international stars, and anything like that could be really detrimental to future job opportunities!"
"I don't know why I did it," she answered wearily. "It was a sort of natural bodyguard instinct…and I hadn't been a model long enough to let my former employer just get hurt like that—"
"Former employer?" said Kate, confused. "You've worked for Kanda before?"
Rei laughed a little.
"You probably don't remember, Kate, but the first time we met was in…December, I think, when you worked with Kanda for Cross. You know, that semi-revealing shoot? I was with Kanda at the time, though you probably wouldn't remember someone like me…"
"No way! I do remember—I thought it was so strange that some unknown girl would be there chatting with Kanda so easily…"
"Yeah," said Rei weakly, "you gave me quite the glare…"
"I had no idea!" said Kate, genuinely shocked. "I'm sorry, I was just…uh…"
"It's okay," said Rei sincerely. "No offense taken. I was a bit awkward in that setting…and no one really knows that female bodyguards exist. And you're a much nicer person than I originally thought, so no worries there." She glanced at the glass clock on the wall. "I should probably go find Tyki and tell him to get me something else to wear…"
"If he can't, you're welcome to my wardrobe," said Kate, gesturing to the closet outside.
"I'll keep that in mind, thanks. I'll see you in a bit."
Rei knocked politely on Tyki's door. She only had to wait for a few seconds before it opened, and a shirtless Tyki appeared.
Her heart palpitated furiously all of a sudden. She brought a hand up to it, feeling its beat unfamiliarly under her skin. Her brow furrowed. What a bizarre reaction. It wasn't like she'd never seen him half-naked before. Why was she reacting so differently all of a sudden?
"Something you need?" said Tyki smoothly, jolting her back to reality.
"Oh."
"And why in the world are you wearing that jacket?" he said in disdain, reaching out and fingering its hem. "It clashes horrendously with the dress. Which you look fantastic in otherwise, by the way."
"About the dress," she said sourly, slapping his hand away, "I can't wear it."
Tyki arched a perfect eyebrow.
"Why not?"
"Because of this," she sighed, turning around and letting the jacket fall to her elbows.
Rei heard him utter a low curse.
"So as you can see," she said lightly, bringing her jacket around her shoulders again, "I don't think it's that great of an idea for me to go out like some…martyr in my first grand appearance, no?"
Tyki was looking at her strangely. Rei tilted her head to one side in inquiry.
"Tyki?" she said warily.
He blinked, as if snapping out of a daydream.
"Sorry about that," he said, recovering himself. "I was just thinking how cute you looked in the dress."
"…Back to my dilemma, and passing over how I look—"
"You know, you remind me of Road," he said thoughtfully, obviously ignoring her. "This whole dark, Gothic look with a bit of flair, it's definitely her style."
"I don't really think it's mine," said Rei. "And I can't wear this, so can I go change?"
"I don't have any other clothes."
"I brought my own."
"Definitely not," he snorted.
Rei frowned. "Well, Kate said I could borrow some of hers."
"She's five inches taller than you."
"I'm sure I'll find something. So do you mind if I go change?"
"Fine," said Tyki resignedly. "I really wanted you to wear that though…"
"Next time," she shrugged, secretly thinking that she would never for the life of her wear something so frilly again. "I gotta head back then. Have you eaten breakfast?"
"Not yet. I doubt you'll have time, Rei, don't you have to get your makeup done and everything?"
"Yeah."
"Hurry up and leave then," he grinned, reaching over and brushing her cheek.
Rei jerked back at the contact, her cheeks flaring as his fingers twisted with a few strands of her hair. Tyki looked at her perplexedly.
"Something wrong?" he questioned.
"No," she said fervently, shaking her head. "I-I'm going to go now."
Before Tyki could pester her with any more questions, she turned around and left, leaving him just as confused as she was.
"Kate," said Rei darkly, "do you mind if I borrow your clothes?"
Kate sighed upon seeing Rei's expression and led her to her closet, where she had unpacked all her clothes even though they were only going to stay for one night.
"Help yourself," the European model said. "Did you and Mikk get in a fight?"
"No," said Rei, flipping through the clothes hangers. "I'm just feeling odd. Damn…you're not my size, Kate…too tall and skinny."
"It's okay," said Kate consolingly, helping her look for something. "I always bring a few sets bigger and smaller than my size, just in case."
"In case of what?" said Rei, bemused.
Kate just laughed. "For situations like this, sweetheart. Now here. Go change quickly. It looks like we don't have time for me to do your makeup, so I'll just let the professionals do it."
"But don't we have to meet outside in an hour?" said Rei, taking the outfit from Kate.
"Well, it looks like we're just going to have to skip breakfast, no?"
Rei sighed and took the clothes to the bathroom so she could change. What was up with her today? Reacting so peculiarly to Tyki's presence ever since last night…this wasn't a good start to the day. Not at all.
"Close your eyes, dear," said the makeup artist, peering down at Rei's face. "I'm almost done."
"Could we not use so much eyeliner?" said Rei apprehensively. "I'm wearing such a casual outfit…"
"Of course, I wasn't using that much to begin with," said the artist sensibly. "Cute outfit, by the way."
"Thanks."
Rei felt the stiff point of the eyeliner draw hastily on her eyelid, and when she opened her eyes again, the artist was already gone.
"We're just going to blow your hair dry and everything will be set," said the hairdresser as the makeup artist shuffled away.
Rei looked at her reflection in the mirror, relieved to see that she didn't look utterly plastic. Brown lip gloss, cocoa eyeliner, faint blush on her pale cheeks…it all complemented her simple outfit of a black bubble skirt and short green-colored blazer covering her top of a white cuffed and collared shirt. Rei hadn't realized how skinny Kate was until she'd tried on the supermodel's clothes; the skirt was especially tight.
"I think we're ready," said the hairdresser, mussing up her hair a bit so that it looked naturally windblown. She then set a green headband behind Rei's ears, taming the top of her head a bit, and smiled. "You look great."
"Thank you," Rei said breathlessly, standing up in her black high heels.
"Don't forget these!" said the makeup artist, rushing back and handing her a pair of earrings.
Rei stabbed herself a few times trying to find the earring hole, but finally succeeded in putting on the Chanel studs. Looking at herself in the mirror one last time, she nodded in appreciation to the crew and scurried off to find Kate and rejoin the rest of the group, who had gone off to breakfast.
In her hurry, she bumped into someone in the hallway.
"Damn it!" she swore, rubbing her forehead.
"Watch where you're going, idiot," said an altogether condescending voice.
Rei scowled upon recognizing its owner, who looked splendid in relatively casual clothes. Jeans and an un-tucked oxford. Her scowl deepened. How come he could look so good when he probably chose his outfit out in two seconds?
"Oh, look, it's the guy whose kiss is worth two hundred thousand yen," she said acerbically. "And I could say the same to you, running into innocent people."
"I'm not the one barging into the hall out of nowhere," said Kanda, catching up to her easily. "And why are you late?"
"Because I got my outfit late, and by then, Kate and Lee had already finished their basic makeup, and so I had to spend extra time in the salon because they had to do everything," said Rei in a rush, checking her watch. "Damn, we're so late."
"We're not late," sighed Kanda. "We're perfectly on time."
"You're the one who said we were late!"
"I only meant that you were later than the others."
Rei frowned at his verbal circumlocution and stalked away quickly in silence, anxious not to stay close to him in case her mood grew worse. Nervous already for the press conference, she did not need another reason to blow it.
Unfortunately, Kanda kept up with her pace beautifully.
They stayed in silence for a while as they descended the stairs, seeing as the elevator was taking too long.
"You…look decent," said Kanda awkwardly.
Rei glared at him.
"You can't form the word 'nice' with your mouth?" she said deprecatingly.
"Whatever," he said, visibly agitated at his slip of mouth. "I'm just saying, since they're obviously not your clothes—"
"How is that obvious?" she said, worried that they were too small or something.
"…The clothes you wear are usually older and darker in color…either that or it's just plain black and white. There's nothing…kiddy, if that makes sense. Innocent is probably a better word."
Rei looked down at her clothes.
"Does it look bad?" she asked.
"…No."
"…Do I look bad if I don't wear stuff like this?"
"…No. I just think this is more of your style," he clarified haughtily. "Mikk chooses out your clothes, right? This is a bit different from his normal fashion."
"He didn't choose it out," Rei murmured, pushing open the door to the lobby. "Kate chose it."
"…Oh. That's probably why then. So either way, you can't choose out your own clothes, Matsumomo?" he said with a bit of a smirk.
"Well, normally when I do, you end up saying something along the lines of 'You look disgusting.' It's rather off-putting."
"It's true though," shrugged Kanda. "My eye for fashion is something to be reckoned with."
"Sure," she said, rolling her eyes. "Because the Kanda Yuu is so good at everything, and he's so smart and we all can't help but grovel at his feet. And hence, his mere kiss is worth two hundred thousand yen."
Anyone could see that Rei was still being incredibly and immaturely bitter about what had happened on the plane. Kanda paid it no heed.
"Well put," he said mildly as they walked up to their group, which was situated in a far corner of the expansive lobby.
Their conversation died as they approached, for Rei pursed her lips into a tight line as she saw Lenalee look at the two of them suspiciously.
Lavi waved cheerfully at them.
"Hey," he said as they neared. "You guys are just on time."
Kanda looked meaningfully at Rei, as if pointing out that he had been right about their punctuality. She rolled her eyes again; for some reason, she was not feeling as jittery as before. Something about the candid banter with Kanda in the staircase, and the fact that he had reassured her about her appearance unwillingly, helped alleviate the horrid butterflies in her stomach.
"Rei, you look so cute!" said Kate, rushing over and holding her by the shoulders, looking her up and down. It was obvious that Kate was still feeling guilty for not realizing that she'd glared at Rei before.
"Thanks," said Rei, smiling. "You look beautiful, Kate."
"She always does," grinned Lavi, pecking Kate on the cheek. "You do look cute though, Rei."
Rei smiled appreciatively, but her emerald eyes had already sought out Tyki's. It hadn't been hard, since he was so much taller than his colleagues, and his gaze had been fixated on Rei since she'd come in.
"What are you staring at me for?" she said. "In such disdain, at that. It's usually Kanda who has that look, not you."
"I heard that," said Kanda in an undertone, and Rei allowed a small smile to grace her lips at the sound of his annoyance.
"I'm not looking at you in disdain; I just…I don't like your clothes," said Tyki, eying her seriously.
"Excuse me," sniffed Kate. "They happen to be mine."
"It's not the clothes themselves," said Tyki in clarification. "They just don't suit you, Rei."
"I think they suit me perfectly fine," she said a tad coldly.
Hearing that the clothes didn't suit her killed any bit of serenity that Kanda had surprisingly given her a minute before. Rei, who had always had problems with self-esteem when it came to appearances, was not anxious to make herself look disgusting in front of a million cameras. Thus, she had actually tried in the morning to put in a bit of effort and work harder for an acceptable appearance. Tyki telling her that she wasn't quite presentable simply made her uncomfortable again.
Tyki's eyes flickered at Rei's tone. "The image I've created for you—"
"That you've created?"
"Yes," said Tyki testily, "that I've created, since I've practically made you. And that image was much more mature, bolder, not this little innocent girl look."
"Thank you for enlightening me on what I'm supposed to be," said Rei acidly, "but since I'm came here with this look, couldn't you have done me the slightest courtesy of refraining from saying something that would make me feel uneasy?"
"I never saw you to be one who would have her feelings hurt easily, Rei."
"I—I'm not hurt, Tyki, but you, of all people, should be able to tell that I'm not feeling…splendid right now, and—"
"Fine, fine," he sighed. "I just don't think it's your style."
"On the contrary," said Kanda quietly so that only Rei and Tyki could hear him, "I think this suits her quite well."
"Pardon?" said Tyki, raising an eyebrow in skepticism. "Did Kanda Yuu just possibly compliment Rei?"
"It's better than everything you've dressed her up in before," said Kanda shortly. "She's only seventeen. The Ralph Lauren shoots, and the wardrobe that you've given her…a lot of the clothes are more mature, slightly sophisticated. It's not bad of her to appeal to her more childish side, seeing as her personality is generally very kiddy."
"Gee, thanks," said Rei sourly. "It seems like I can't get complimented without being insulted the next second."
"Forget it," said Tyki coldly, his sentence directed to Kanda. "They're waiting for us. Let's just get this over with."
Tyki didn't like seeing Rei dolled up like an innocent child. She harbored a much fiercer soul that that, and her persona couldn't be contained by some faint façade, this childish, pure appearance…
But this dislike, bordering animosity, seemed a bit irrational, even to Tyki himself. He, however, seemed to innately know the reason why.
Tyki wasn't a good person, as much of what it seemed to a bystander. He was dark, manipulative, very secretive. Those smiles that he gave to the cameras flashing at him right now, that cheesy response he was giving to that microphone thrust in front of him…so fake. So…white. All of it. And there was Rei…just as white. But purely, genuinely white. Not fake.
Dressed with bold eyeliner and dark colors, Rei had more flair, more charisma. That Rei…the dark Rei, she was more approachable than this…child, who was naïve, knew nothing.
Tyki wanted to corrupt her. That was all.
He felt unworthy of standing by her if she was pure and he was tainted, and since he could not change, all he could do was change her instead. Drag her down. Create her to be what he wanted. Black with black. Let this miasma take over her.
If Rei went to Tyki, she'd be stained beyond repair.
But if she went to Kanda, she'd emerge the same as before. Clean. Unapproachable.
What to do?
"So this is the woman who's gone from a nobody to an international somebody overnight!" said the Spanish reporter, smiling almost disdainfully at Rei, who simply smiled back vindictively. "May I ask, how did this all happen?"
"That's a secret," said Rei, her eyes soft. "All I can say, however, is that I wouldn't be where I am right now without Tyki."
"So it was your connection with Tyki that helped you reach this stage?" said the reporter.
"Rei's ability is enough to stand up on the international stage," intervened Tyki. "True, my image gave her a boost, but I'm quite sure that she would've achieved this status sooner or later."
"I see," said the female reporter, looking a bit let down that she hadn't been given some scandalous background story. "Well, this project, conducted under famous photographer Cross Marian, is one of enormous standing. He's gathered some incredible models: Kate Schrödlich, Lavi Bookman, and the upcoming Asian supermodel, Yuu Kanda, along with his girlfriend, Lenalee Lee. Don't you think that Miss Matsumomo is a bit out of place here?"
Tyki was surprised when Rei answered the question herself.
"Of course I'm out of place," she said, her smile hardening a bit. "Who wouldn't be, among these modeling deities? But I'm grateful to be here, and wouldn't give up my position right now for anything, because I know that there's so much I can learn from these models. I can only hope that once I come out of this project, I can be half of what they are now."
"I…see," said the reporter, staring at Rei as if she didn't know how to take her incredibly generic response, mixed in with a tad of sycophancy. "So, the models are all paired up, right? I hear that Kate and Lavi are a couple, as are Yuu and Lenalee. There have been rumors of you two as well. Would you like to comment?"
"Not in particular," said Rei. "I'm very grateful to Tyki, and I see him as someone very important, but I don't think there are any romantic implications involved."
"Yes," sighed Tyki. "Rei is completely reserved when it comes to anything lovey-dovey off set."
"Ah, right, because you all are shooting on the theme of love, correct? Don't you feel that if there's no romance involved, your pictures won't have the same impact as, say, Lavi's and Kate's, especially if they're in love?"
"Maybe things will change," shrugged Tyki nonchalantly. "There's room for our relationship to grow, which wouldn't hurt. I can't say that romance is completely out of the picture."
Tyki could feel Rei's body stiffen at this suggestion, a reaction that seemed rather out of the ordinary. He glanced at her quizzically, catching her eye. She shook her head imperceptibly, as if warning him not to say anything further about the subject.
Tyki grew irritated. Obviously what he had told the reporter was true. Romance wasn't out of the picture, seeing as that his and Rei's relationship consisted, so far, of a lot of kissing. Why was Rei so adamant to deny it? Was she that stupid? Was she still that in love with Kanda?
"Well, I must say that's an interesting approach," said the reporter skeptically. "But I must say, I'm not feeling that much chemistry between you two…and Tyki, we fans in Europe look up to you for the best of the best pictures, so you must understand our concern about you choosing a…relatively unknown model to be your counterpart…"
Were reporters always this nosy and rude? Tyki hadn't noticed before.
"Chemistry?" Tyki said. "I think I can prove that. Allow me to give you a little preview of your pictures."
He leaned down and, slinking his hand around Rei's neck and pulling her to face him, kissed her briefly, letting it linger longer than a simple peck on the cheek. Rei pulled away, and Tyki could see her prominent glare. Before she could say anything outlandish in public, however, he whispered by her ear,
"Don't say anything. That was necessary."
Rei scowled deeply, her green eyes flashing as her gaze wandered elsewhere. Tyki followed it; Kanda was staring directly at them, and he looked none too happy.
"That was so…cute!" squealed the young reporter, nearly flinging her microphone out of her hand as she blushed, not noticing the sudden rise in tension. "What a sentimental kiss! Are you sure you two aren't dating?"
"Very sure," said Rei in a steely tone. "Are we done?"
"Now, now, Rei," said Tyki, wrapping his arm around her thin waist. "We need to be kind and patient. It's necessary to bond with our fans."
The reporter positively beamed. "Yes, and we love Tyki for his sincerity! Now…"
Tyki felt an unnecessary apprehension. Rei was looking particularly murderous. He sighed. She was going to give him hell after this.
Rei started her harangue the moment the two of them were back in the privacy of the hotel lobby, away from the cameras and everyone else.
"First you decide to completely destroy my self-esteem before going to a damn press conference—"
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Rei—"
"And then," she said loudly, drowning out his interruption, "you decide to kiss me in front of a million cameras, giving me unwanted and unnecessary publicity! Didn't it ever cross your mind that I don't want to be famous to the point where I can't walk in the streets without having some girl try to kill me?!"
Tyki sighed. "Rei—"
"The kiss was absolutely uncalled for, Tyki! There was nothing to prove, nothing to be gained from that! So what if they don't think we have any chemistry?! You could've just let it slide, just showed them through our photographs—you had NOTHING to gain from kissing me in front of a million people except for my undying mortification!"
"It's not a big deal," he said wearily. "It's really not, Rei, please calm down."
He could see her take a deep breath, much to his surprise. He'd half-expected her to continue her tirade.
"I…" She clenched her fists, frustrated. "I can't help but think that I've made some mistake, joining you on this thing. You heard that woman, so condescending…I'm not good for your image, I'm a bodyguard, not a model. I'd rather live a private life than one of glamour, flashing cameras, paparazzi…"
"It's too late for your regret, Rei," said Tyki evenly. "You made your choice."
"I—"
Rei's sentence was cut off as Kate placed a hand on her shoulder and the rest of the group joined them. The European model's beautiful face expressed disdain; her blue eyes looked at Tyki with a bit of annoyance.
"You just made your relationship with Rei public to the world," she said coolly. "Actually, let me rephrase that—your undefined, practically non-existent romantic relationship. I thought you had a bit more tact than that, Mikk. You do know that rumors are going to fly like none other, right?"
"There's no harm done," said Tyki, tired of repeating the same thing over and over again. "I said it was a preview of our pictures—"
"Mikk, anyone could take what you just did and twist it marvelously into a full-blown scandal. Haven't you been in enough already?!"
"Chill, Kate," grinned Lavi. "Though unnecessary, I don't think it's a big deal. The press will probably just see Rei as another one of Tyki's flings—"
"That's an excellent label," snarled Rei.
"—and the entire thing will blow over in a few days," finished Lavi, unfazed. "Why don't you all just focus on your work first? We can deal with the press later."
"I love you, Bookman," said Tyki dryly, grateful that wasn't making a ridiculous deal out of the entire thing.
"Sorry, I'm straight," chuckled Lavi, wrapping an arm around Kate's shoulder. "Game of poker, anyone? We got a couple hours to kill until the plane ride to the Isles."
Bookman. Always the one to deflate the tension. Tyki looked exasperatedly at Rei, who merely shook her head at Lavi's suggestion.
"I'm going to go finish packing up a few things," she said. "Be back soon."
Rei got to her room, so drained that she didn't even open the door to her room. She simply stood in the middle of the hallway, leaning her head on the cool surface of the door, her hand resting on the handle. Her lips were still burning.
Why did Tyki have to humiliate her in public?
Well, that probably hadn't been his intention, but seriously, P.D.A. was just a no-no. Especially when Kanda was watching.
But Kanda's opinion seemed trivial compared to what Rei was feeling herself inside. She was tired of never knowing whether Tyki was joking or not. Why did he always sneak those kisses randomly and without reason? To get back at Kanda? But exactly for what?
She didn't want to be used as a tool to jibe back at Kanda's pride. She was above that, at the least.
"What are you doing, trying to kiss the door?" said Kanda's smooth voice behind her.
Rei turned around, her expression impassive. Under normal circumstances, she would've frowned and retorted with some witty comment, but after the press conference, her brain seemed to have turned to mush, and she did not reply.
"They're bad, aren't they?" remarked Kanda, leaning on the wall opposite to her. "The public meetings. You always have to watch what you say, in case someone finds the stupidest thing offensive…have to watch what you wear, how you look, how you present yourself…it's draining."
Rei nodded mutely, leaning her head against the oaken door. It was surprising, really. Tyki's presence was normally the one that calmed her down, but it did nothing but agitate her now…while Kanda, who normally ticked her off, was now the one consoling her. She closed her eyes.
"…You say that Mikk destroyed your self-esteem before the conference. Didn't my input count for anything?"
"…It did when you told me it on the staircase," admitted Rei after a momentary pause. "But the moment Tyki said that I didn't look good…I dunno, it just made me feel so insecure inside."
"…You hold his opinion in higher regard than mine?" asked Kanda coolly.
"I don't know…"
She felt Kanda's presence grow in front of her, and she opened her eyes to look at him.
"…Is Mikk important to you?" said Kanda quietly.
"Well…yeah. I'm sort of like his protégé, right? I—"
"I meant something more than colleagues. Something along the lines of…"
"What I felt for you, right?" she said lightly .
"…Felt?" he said, emphasizing the past tense.
"Goodness gracious, Kanda," said Rei with a trace of anger, "do I have to stay in love with you when I'm gaining nothing from it?"
Kanda blinked. "I never said that—"
"You were implying it. Kanda, I bet everything on you! I…I thought that what we felt on Christmas, and in the hospital, I thought it was enough for me to keep hoping, to keep wishing…but it's not going to work out, Kanda. I already know. You're never going to give her up, so there's no point in me staying in love with you!"
"So you've moved on to Mikk already?" said Kanda disbelievingly.
"No, I haven't just 'moved on,' but…I… I just don't know anymore," she said miserably. "As of now though…I think I'm just going to focus on work."
"…Matsumomo."
"What?" she said irritably.
"You're not…you're not good at what Mikk makes you out to be."
"…What?" she said, stupefied.
"No, I mean that you're better as you were before…before you became a model," said Kanda hastily. "As…a bodyguard."
Rei snorted. "Sure, which is why you criticized my appearance every day I worked for you. I haven't heard you say anything about it lately, so I believe where I am right now is an improvement than before."
"Matsumomo—"
"I'm still a bodyguard at heart, Kanda," she said softly, turning around and sliding her key in the slot. "No worries there. I have a few things to finish packing, so if you'll just excuse me…"
She slipped away into the confinements of her room, leaving a befuddled and somewhat annoyed Kanda in the middle of the hallway. Part of Rei just didn't care anymore.
Kanda had no idea what he was doing. Why was he always following Matsumomo around? Always…unconsciously. Like he was pulled to her presence. Which was ridiculous, really. And she'd gotten so much hot air in that already inflated head of hers that she was bordering the line of insufferableness…
But hearing that he might've been replaced by Tyki was a bit unsettling. Then again, what had he expected? It wasn't like he could hope for Rei to stay in love with him forever…because that probably wasn't likely, given, as she said, she wasn't gaining anything from it.
What had she meant about betting everything on him?
Some part of him irked that it had to do with Tyki…but exactly what, he couldn't put his finger on…
Kanda sighed, running a hand through his hair as he made his way to his room. They had a while to sort things out. And hopefully, he'd sort them out fast…he was sick of these strange feelings erupting inside of him every single time he talked to Rei, especially when he kept replaying the image of Tyki kissing her in his mind.
A few hours later.
"We're here!" said Lenalee jubilantly, skipping out of the limo onto the sandy beaches. "I love the beach! The weather! It's glorious!"
"You're so chirpy," laughed Kate as she alighted the limo as well. "I suppose that's a good thing though."
Rei put on her sunglasses as she joined the other girls in the bright sunshine, reveling in the good weather. It was warm enough not to wear her jacket…and the ocean looked beautiful.
"And that's where we'll be staying," said Cross, pointing at the magnificent hotel along the seaside. "Ocean view, great food, blah, blah, blah…everything you'd include in a five star hotel."
"I love being with rich people," grinned Allen. "I get to stay in the best resorts—for free!"
"Yeah," said Rei distantly, kicking off her shoes. "I'm going to go wade in the water."
"Wait, already?" said Allen, startled. "Aren't you going to check in first?"
"Are we in single rooms?" asked Rei.
"Yeah," said Cross, nodding. "You should check in first."
"I'm so glad we're in singles," said Tyki. "No offense, Marian, but you snore like you could blow the roof off."
"One of the many traits displaying my manliness," said Cross seriously. "Now get your asses in the hotel, or you can sleep on the streets tonight."
They were just going to laugh Cross's threat off, but upon seeing his throbbing temple at Tyki's insult, they scrambled into the lobby as fast as they could. It was somewhat relieving to see that there was still some sort of authority presiding over the fickle celebrities.
Tyki lied on his bed, resting. His head was not feeling all that great. He was bordering the edge of dreams and deep sleep when his phone rang suddenly. He groaned. That was Cyril's ringtone…maybe he could just pretend he was sleeping…
Tyki pressed the side button, silencing the phone, and was immersed in only a few seconds of silence when it began to ring again. Letting out another groan, he flipped it open and brought it to his ear.
"Hello?" he said groggily, rubbing his aching head.
"And just what do you think you're doing?" said Cyril in a deadly voice.
"What do you mean?" said Tyki, glad that his pillow was so soft, cushioning Cyril's edgy voice.
"I meant by making Rei a model. By kissing her in public! What in the world do you mean to gain from that?"
"It was just a bit of fun, Cyril, no big deal—"
"What are you thinking, making her a model?!" said Cyril, his normally passive voice almost angry. "She's attracting too much attention! She's a bodyguard, not a model, Tyki! How could you—"
"Rei's not entering our family's services," said Tyki coldly. "She's not just some servant, Cyril—"
"I never meant for her to be, but you can't have a famous bodyguard, Tyki, it just doesn't work like that—"
"I don't want her to be a bodyguard. I think she has great potential to become a good model, and I'd rather her be a model than a bodyguard. It's a bit degrading having a woman in our bodyguard services, honestly."
"Her mother was one of the best in our services," said Cyril sharply. "I believe that her daughter would be the same."
Tyki blew out a breath. "I don't want Rei to be a bodyguard. I think she's more…worldly than that."
"This is disappointing, Tyki."
"Hey, you said to bring her home, not as a bodyguard."
"Yes, well, you should've realized that my intention was to make her a bodyguard—"
"Too bad. You get what I give," said Tyki, annoyed and itching to fall back asleep.
"Tyki—"
"Please, Cyril, not right now. My head is killing me."
"Fine," snapped Cyril, which was strange of him due to his standard joviality. "We'll talk about this later."
"Sure, whatever," said Tyki, aggravated.
"Very well. Bye."
"Bye."
He snapped the phone shut and tossed it onto the floor, not caring if it broke. After all, if it did, then it gave him an excuse to avoid Cyril's incessant pestering.
A bit of guilt was creeping into his system. He wasn't supposed to change Rei. He didn't want to. But it always seemed to Tyki that Rei the bodyguard belonged to Kanda, while Rei the model belonged to Tyki…and since Tyki was possessive of her, he wanted to destroy any lingering persona that Kanda might still own. A futile, foolish thought. Rei was Rei. She'd be somewhere in the middle…bodyguard or model…damn, all this thinking made his uneducated brain hurt…
There was a knock on the door.
"Damn it, can't anyone sleep in peace?!" Tyki said loudly.
"…Sorry," said Rei's voice from outside. She sounded surprised and a bit guilty.
"Oh…shit," said Tyki, rolling off the bed and going to the door and opening it.
Rei was on her way to leave, but stopped as she saw Tyki.
"I…uh, it's nothing important, I just wanted to talk to you, but if you're sleeping, that's fine—"
"Sorry," he said wearily. "My head's just killing me, so I unintentionally snapped…"
"Are you okay?" questioned Rei, standing up on the tips of her feet and bringing her hands up to Tyki's head. "You should sleep some—I won't bother you."
"…Could you come in?" he asked abruptly. "Just…I don't know, I'm used to hugging something when I'm sleeping, and it'd be better for me if I could just…hold you or something…"
"A pillow would work…sorry, never mind. I'll come in."
"Thanks," said Tyki appreciatively, leading her in the room.
"How long have you had this headache?" she queried as Tyki lied down on the bed. "Now that I think about it, you didn't seem too good on the plane…"
"Since the end of the press conference," he muttered, bringing her down beside him and draping an arm around her shoulders. "My head's just throbbing…"
He felt her cool hands crawl up to his temples, rubbing them hesitantly. It helped. A lot.
"More," he said, breathing into her sweet-scented neck. "Like you're massaging my head."
"So demanding…" he heard her grumble, but he could tell from her shaking hands that she was unnaturally nervous.
"What did you come in here for?"
"…It wasn't a big deal. Just wanted to talk."
"About?"
"…Nothing," she said, rubbing his temples in a circular motion. "Didn't you say that you wanted to sleep? Go to sleep already."
"…One last question."
"What is it?"
"If Kanda asked you to do this…to go into his room and massage his head, would you have?"
Rei just stared at him. For once, Tyki could not read her face. Bewilderment was the only emotion he could discern from those jade eyes.
"Never mind," he breathed. "Good night."
Her voice was the last thing he heard before his system shut down and he fell into deep sleep. Her slim profile remained protectively under his arms. Tyki didn't think he'd slept so well in a long time. Idiot Rei, coming into his room thinking that he wouldn't do anything, consenting to be his "hug-buddy" and stay with him on his bed…
Sooner or later, he didn't know if he'd be able to control himself anymore. But for now, he'd stay where he was…still, just holding her, and keeping her pureness in tact. He wasn't ready to taint her yet.
Free Talk:
This week has been one of the worst that I've ever lived through. Seriously.
I had originally planned not to update this week, since I was under incredible amounts of stress and everything culminated into this morning's tests and auditions, etc. But I managed to churn out a very long chapter, though I don't know if it will be to your liking. As usual, with the last few chapters, I'm feeling ambivalent about this chapter, and thus, if you hated the chapter, tell me so I could do something about it. When I say this, I'm quite serious. If an overwhelming number of people hate the chapter, I will change it. But I'd rather not. BUt it's important that each chapter is okay...I feel like I've made a few people very OOC.
So please tell me. :) Thank you for your reviews! Of course, reviewing after I worked super hard to manage to update this week would be very nice. And since my next week is very stressful, it might convince me to update next week? :)
Oh, and about the latest DGM chapter...there's a woman involved with Kanda. You don't know how angry that made me. -.- She better be dead. Kanda better be single. Period.
Anyway...thanks for reading!! And please review.
Love, m.n