Chapter 21

When House came out of his slumber, the apartment was quiet, no sound of Wilson anywhere, no sound of Stacy anywhere...just silence...he hated silence. He heaved himself up into a seated position and noticed that Wilson had left a sandwich & a drink for him. He chuckled to himself and went to get up, he immediately regretted that choice as his leg gave out on him. Just for once he wished he could get up and go without needing to worry about support, without needing a crutch to lean on, without it fucking hurting.

He rectified his balance issue by grabbing a crutch but after the days excursions that was not enough, so he grabbed the other one. Headed to the bathroom, relieved himself, turned around to wash his hands and looked in the mirror, he was a little shocked by what he could see. A pale, old man, with a 3 day scruff, hair that looked like it hadn't been brushed in days...he did not recognise who that person was. But it seemed to know him.

He needed to bath or shower. Did it really matter, either way he had haul his ass over the tub then either sit or stand up and then haul his ass out again. Bath it was maybe the hot water would soothe his aches. He ran a hot bath, got everything he needed within reach, he sat on the edge of the bath and tested the water. He soaked for some time, filled it up again with hot water, hot water was so good for aches, he didn't want to get out. After some time he sighed, pulled the plug and started the laborious job of getting out, this would be the first attempt completely on his own. He usually did this when Wilson was hovering and on at least 2 occasions had had to call him in. He braced himself again against the tile and the ledge, getting grip with his left foot wasn't easy and as much as his left leg had taken over a lot of the work his right no longer did, it still wasn't as strong as it could be. It took 3 attempts but he got there in the end and safely out of the bathroom without slipping on anything.

He got himself settled in bed. It was a little early but he was exhausted. He took out the file that Dr Cuddy had given him to read through, he really needed to make a decision as to what to do, before the offer expired.

He was woken by severe stabbing pains in his leg. He brought the leg up to him and rolled over onto his front keening over it on the bed and rolling in every direction. This was nothing like he had experienced before, this was breakthrough to 11. He was sweating and his heart was beating so fast he thought his chest was going to burst. He had to do something to stop this from getting any worse, before he passed out. He managed to grab some Vicodin in between the peaks and took 2 dry. He began rubbing and massaging the affected area, he hated feeling the ridges under his pants, but needs must. It did help slightly. He kept feeling the urge to move, so he reached for the crutch, heaved himself up and balanced precariously on one leg and crutch. He stood trying to get his balance before moving, he felt reluctant to actually move, he felt like he was going to topple over. He moved slowly at first, waiting for the leg to give way on him or for the pain to shoot up to 12. He managed a few steps and realised that although in some ways putting more weight on it hurt it also helped relieve the stabbing pains. He stopped and rubbed again, then lurched off towards the living at which point it gave way and he ended up on the floor.

He lay there for a moment, shocked and angry at himself. He looked around him, he was on his own, no Wilson, no Stacy …just him. He sighed heavily, he had no option but to get up unless he wanted to call Wilson. No he did not. He moved against the wall in the hallway, between the crutch and his left foot he managed to get himself back up, he continued on his unbalanced journey to the living room. The pain had started to subside, it had gone down to about an 8, still a ways to go but at least it was showing signs of going. He sat on the couch and rubbed again, he remembered he had a heating pad somewhere, maybe that would work. But that would mean moving and putting weight on it etc, etc, etc. No he wouldn't bother, he rubbed again, then took the crutch again and started lurching around the living room. Not sure whether it was actually working or whether it was just taking his mind off of the pain but after half an hour or so the stabbing relented but left an ache that seemed to go bone deep.

He made his way back to his bedroom, when he looked at his clock it was 3.20am, how long had he even been up for? He got himself comfortable again, within a few moments he was asleep...pain was exhausting.

When he came too, he woke slowly and looked around, the sun was beaming through the windows, he rubbed his eyes and face to orientate himself, his watch read 11am...probably the most sleep he had had in a long time. He stayed in bed a while relishing the relative comfort that he had, considering the episode during the night he had expected his leg to be very unhappy today, but to his surprise it was back to normal. Normal? Was this now his normal?. As he moved around a little, he came across the file that he had gone to bed reading. Opening it up again he began to read it. It sure did sound like something he would be interested in. But Clinic Hours...on his feet for a couple of hours at a time, yeah he could do that right! But he wouldn't have any rounds to do, wouldn't necessarily have to see patients, would possibly have 3 people working for him to do all the lackey work. He put the file back on his bed and looked away. Could he actually do this?

He took his leg with both hands and moved it around, again expecting a jolt of pain, but nothing happened. He reached for the crutch, but instead of putting his arm through the cuff, he turned it around and just put his hand on the handle. He relieved himself in the bathroom, washed and went to the kitchen to retrieve some goodness that was there courtesy of Wilson, he actually found some of Wilsons pancakes ….oh they were so good.

He perched on the couch and put the tv on and started watching one of his Soaps. The door knocked and he shouted from the couch "Who is it?"

"It's me Wilson"

"Use your key I'm not getting up!"

Wilson walked through the door and could tell instantly that House was in a better mood, he was even eating his pancakes.

"What are you doing here?" Enquired House

"Just finished with my morning patients so and that place is driving me mad, there's not enough organisation in that department. I could do a better job standing on my head" He said sounding frustrated

House turned his head to Wilson, "So, make some changes, or look for another job"

"Well I tried to 'make' those changes and the Head of Oncology didn't want to know, so yeah I think it's time to look for another job. Speaking of jobs did you decide what to do about Dr Cuddy's offer?"

"Kinda" Said House finishing off the last of the pancakes

Wilson raised his eyebrows "So what's the problem?"

House gave Wilson a sarcastic side glance.

"You can go back to work you know" Said Wilson softly.

"I know what I'm doing Wilson" House said as he got up to take his plate to the kitchen. Wilson watched him go and come back.

"So, are you going to get yourself a cane now?" Said Wilson slightly taunting House

House stared at him blankly. "Well you're using the crutch like it's a cane so why not get yourself one. There's a shop down town I know that sells some really cool ones"

"You know a shop that sells canes? Why would you..."

"They sell lots of other odd things too"

"Yeah, well maybe" Said House looking the other way.

They spent the next hour watching TV and making fun out of the senseless programme. Once Wilson had left, House picked up his phone and called Dr Cuddy

"Dr House, I am so glad you called" She said politely

"Dr Cuddy, I would like to discuss this proposal with you in more detail, when can you see me" He said more politely than he had thought

"Well, I have to see the Board tomorrow, so how about 3.30pm this afternoon" Said Cuddy. There was quite a lengthy silence "Dr House?"

"Yeah, yeah ok " Said House finally, gritting his teeth as his leg started to spasm. He put the phone down and rubbed his leg not now please, for god sake!

An hour later he was on his way to the hospital, he had the hideous blue placard hanging from his mirror. It was a bit of a jolty ride, but he would get used to it. He drove around the car park, unsure as to whether or not he was going to use a handicapped parking space. But the only parking spaces he found were miles away (so they seemed) from the entrance to the hospital. So he relented and used a spot.

He got himself out of the car, got the bag he had brought to chuck over his shoulder, he still couldn't carry anything and crutch at the same time. He made the short distance to the foyer, realising that using crutches had become second nature. He went to Dr Cuddy's office, her assistant didn't stop him as she knew he was expected.

"Dr House, glad you could make it" She didn't offer her hand out as she knew that it would be awkward. "Take a seat," She waived her hands to the visitor chairs in front of her desk.

House just nodded at her and took a seat. He put the crutches down on the floor but let them drop slightly so that they made a clanging sound, retrieved the proposal from his bag and opened it up.

"So far I like most of what you have in here, but I want clarity on a few points before I say yes or no" He stated, straight to the point.

Cuddy nodded for him to continue and relaxed a little in her chair. She had expected something different to this.

"Firstly, there are definitely to rounds?"

"Correct, you will not have any patient rounds to do. At most you will have 2 patients a week, but for the most part it will only be one at a time"

"It doesn't say anything about who will be my superior"

"You will be a Department Head, therefore you are directly accountable to me and the Board"

"I will have free reign over equipment, labs, tests, etc, etc, etc"

"To a point, yes. You will have unlimited resources, however labs & pathology results will be at the discretion of the technicians who do them, depending on their work load and if they can 'fit' you in"

"No...if I am going to this then my fellows or myself if I have to will run any labs needed"

"We have staff that can do that"

"Yes I know but like you said it will be at their discretion and they can make a mistake. I would prefer to keep it all under my department control"

"Ok, I will see what we can do. It may just be a case of using the lab when you can, I don't think we can have a lab kept aside just for you"

"Fair enough, as long as it is known that we will be doing that. Same goes for getting imaging etc done, my fellows will be doing it and if necessary will need to be able to jump the que."

Cuddy frowned at him.

"Look unless I am mistaken, the idea of this new department is to keep very sick people alive, they are more than likely going to be on their death beds when they get here, so waiting around for a 2 week slot is not going to work"

"Point taken, again it will be up for negotiating with the actual departments when they can 'fit' you in"

"Again as long as they know that!" He was quiet for a minute" Why me?"

"What?" She had not expected that question.

"Why me? Why. Did. You. Pick. Me? You must know my reputation"

"Yes I know your reputation. I also know that you are very good at what you do. I spoke to your ex-boss at General, not specifically about you I might add, but we were at a meeting and I asked how you were doing. He told me then he had to let you go, but that the research and team you had put together was a major success, even in the short amount of time it had been running. Then you inadvertently saved one our patients, without even seeing them and it just clicked. This has been in the back of my mind for a long time. As you can see by that data in there, there are too many cases that go unsolved like that" She stated as calmly as she could.

"So you think you can do what no other administration has been able to do?" He countered.

"Yes"

"We'll see. Oh and I'm not doing clinic hours"

"Well every doctor in this hospital has to give 3 hrs of clinic time, you will be no different"

"You really think clinic patients want to be treated by a sick doctor"

"you are not sick"

"But they will think I am, just because I use crutches or they might think I'm a patient"

"Well that's a chance we will have to take, it's part of your contract"

House just nodded his head, he had no intention of doing it.

"So can I see where I will be working then"

"Sure, follow me."

They went out into the lobby and she called the elevator. House just turned round and looked at her. "It's on the 4th floor, pretty sure you don't want to take the stairs" She said flatly

"Not today thanks"

They walked along the hallway to the 2 offices "These are the 2 spaces that will become yours, if you take the job. The smaller one for you and the bigger one for the fellows"

He wasn't over keen on it being glass but it was big enough and it did have blinds. "Not the other way around... I need a big office you know"

"That's up to you, if you want all 4 of you in the small office sitting on each other's laps, who am I to say no?"

"So I would have 3 fellows?"

"Yes, with the idea being that they move on after a few years and they get replaced with new ones"

House gave her a questioning look "Why not just doctors?"

"Because I think it would be better for you to train them, rather than have ones that are set in their ways"

"But I get to choose who I have"

"Yes, but I have however, got a fair amount of Resume already that I will give to you"

"OK then I'll take it" He said quietly

"When will you be available to start" She asked

House just gave her a 'really' glare

"Ok, point taken. I'll discuss all the details tomorrow with the Board. It will take maybe a week to get IT and phone etc in here, so let's say a week on Monday, 9am sharp"

"fine" He said and started to walk away.

Cuddy said no more, just watched him hobble down the hallway. She caught up with him just as the elevator door opened, they walked in together "So, is Stacy ok with staying in Princeton, I got the impression she wanted to go back to Boston" She said as the doors closed.

House didn't say anything for a moment, he just looked at her. As the car door opened and he went to walk out "She went" He said and walked off. Not waiting for or wanting a response, he made his way very swiftly to the exit before she could say anything else. Cuddy watched him with a sadness in her that she didn't quite understand and then smiled, as of a week on Monday he would be coming in every day.

House made it home in one piece, he had successfully made it to the meeting and home without any incident, although the exertion had made him tired and a little achy, but a good achy. He took off his jacket, left one crutch by the door and limped off to the kitchen, he had suddenly become rather hungry. He found some food prepared earlier by Wilson and sat on the couch, he was due for a painkiller and some tv. It wasn't long before he drifted into a much needed peaceful sleep, when he woke up it was dark. His apartment seemed very quiet again, he heaved himself up, collected the bottle of bourbon and a glass and limped to his piano. He felt like he needed some music. He never really thought about what he was playing, he always just let his fingers and his mind become one. The tune seemed a little more upbeat than it had been over the last week or so, maybe that was because today had been a productive day. He had a week left to wallow in his apartment, a week to think of reasons why he couldn't do it, a week to convince himself that he could. A week to decide whether to start to live again in some way or whether he should stay indoors, away from the outside world and just disappear altogether. A week is a long time.