A/N :

Hey everyone!

First off let me apologize for it taking me so long to update.

Things have been crazy but I have already started writing the next chapter and so it wont be as long before I update again.

I really hope I still have readers for this story as I have a few plans still for what is going to happen in upcoming chapters.

Please let me know what you think

Thanks again for all the support.

My Dad was on the phone when we walked back into the hotel room. I wondered who he was talking to. My question was soon answered though as I caught bits of the conversation. I turned to my Mom surprised.

"Are you leaving already?" I asked

"No honey all of us are leaving"

"No wait, I don't want to leave yet." I protested.

"What possible reason could you have, that would make you want to stay longer here?"

I tried to think of a good reason besides the real reason I wanted to stay but in truth there wasn't a rational excuse why I wanted to remain here. I wanted to see Robert again, to understand why. I needed some closure from him. My brain was still trying to deny what it had seen that day. Part of me still hoped that he would change his mind when he saw me again and that he would realise how much he loved me. I knew the fact that I wanted to see him again wouldn't go down well with my parents.

"I want to enjoy the rest of my trip and..."I trailed off.

"Renesmee I know what this is about, you are hoping to see him again. He hurt you in the worst way and yet you still want to see him."

"Mom can't you understand that there are some things that I want to ask him. That it might be helpful for me, so that I can get some closure."

My mom sighed sadly.

"Yes of course I can see your point and that you feel that way but I just don't want you to have to face that pain again with him."

"Mom I promise that I'm strong enough to handle this. If I don't talk to him again, I will always have that broken piece left in me."

"Alright you can talk to him but we are still leaving today. You come back right after." My Mom warned.

"That's fine then." I grumbled.

"Oh and another thing you are not going anywhere! You can call and tell him to come over here."

"No way, then we won't be able to have a private conversation. Please just let me go by myself."

I could see my Mom struggling with her decision. I knew after everything that had happened the past few days, my parents were really against letting me out of their sight for even just a minute. I could tell though that my Mom knew how much I needed this. It was really important for my piece of mind.

"Okay you can go." My Mom finally said "But if you are not back in one hour, I will send your Dad after you."

I rolled my eyes and gave her a quick hug.

"Thank you Mom." I whispered.

I remembered that there was some beach party happening tonight and I was hoping that I would find him there. When I got closer to the beach, I could hear the music. My heart beat frantically against my chest. I could feel the nerves starting to get the better of me. I wanted to do this but another part of me wanted to run away and never see him again. I pulled myself together though and walked on. At first I didn't see him amongst the crowd but then there was no missing his tousled hair. He was standing with her. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. I felt my chest become tight and I started to turn away, maybe I wouldn't be able to do this after all. I risked one more glance back and then his eyes locked on mine. There was no escaping him now. He walked over to me and I took a deep breath. I still felt so much for him.

"Renesmee." He said; I could hear his voice was full of guilt and something else which I didn't want to feel from him. I wanted none of his remorse or pity.

"Hey." I whispered.

"First off I want to you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am."

His words were sincere, there was no doubting that.

"So you still have feelings for her and you want to be with her.

"Yes I want to be with her." He answered softly, not meeting my eyes.

"Did you ever really feel anything for me or was it always her?"

It was the one thought that had tortured me the most.

He looked at me with a surprised expression.

"How could you even ask me that? Of course my feelings for you are real. I just didn't realise that I had never really stopped loving her. I only figured that out when I saw her again. Then we got to talking and we knew that both of us felt that way. If there was any way I could make this easier for you, I would have."

"Please stop." I choked.

I had made a huge mistake by coming here. I really couldn't stand to hear this.

"Renesmee, please say you can forgive me. I'm so sorry that things happened this way. I wish that I had never met you so that you wouldn't be hurting like this."

"You really wish that you had never met me?" I asked in a broken voice.

"No that's not what I meant. I just hate myself for what I did to you. I just wish there was a way that the pain I see in your eyes now could have been avoided."

His words were of no comfort to me at all. If I could only hate him, just let him go without a second thought.

"I really think this was a bad idea, seeing you again. It just hurts too much." I murmured and I could feel that the tears weren't far off. He pulled me into his arms and held me. It wasn't in a way that gave me any hope though. He held me in a different way.

"I'm so very sorry. I know that you will find a guy who can love you the way you love him one day. Someone who deserves you."

I moved away from him and kept my emotions in check.

"I wanted you to be that guy." I mumbled and then I ran off, in the direction of the hotel. He had been honest with me but his words had still been difficult to hear. I vowed silently to myself that I would not shed another tear for Robert. I had my answers and now I wanted to get far away from him. As I ran a familiar warm pair of arms, caught me in mid flight.

"Renesmee hold on." He murmured.

"Jake what are you doing here? I wanted to do that alone!" I growled.

"If you think that I was going to leave you alone after what he has put you through, you are seriously mistaken, besides your parents don't want you going alone anywhere."

I should have known that they wouldn't listen to me, I grumbled silently.

"So I guess you heard everything."

He looked at me sheepishly.

"Yes I did but I won't make you talk about it of you don't want to."

I nodded mutely.

"I could easily kill him for what he did to you." Jacob muttered angrily when I didn't speak.

"Sounds like an intriguing idea but that won't help things. He can't help how he feels and I can't make him love me."

Jacob snorted angrily.

"Well it isn't your worry anyway. I will survive as I always do."

Jacob stared fiercely into my eyes

"Renesmee of course I worry about your happiness."

I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder. It was strong and sure.

"I'm just sad Jake, as I truly did love him." I said softly, my voice barely louder than a sigh.

He held me closer to him.

"I know honey but there is a guy out there who will love you more than anything."

"Robert said the same thing but that doesn't make this any easier."

"Renesmee I know that real love will find you one day."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"I just am!"

As I thought of Robert again, it bought something my mother had said to the forefront of my mind. She had mentioned that she had known about this type of pain I was going through. My mom had been really afraid to talk about it at the time but I wondered if Jacob knew anything about what might have happened.

"Jake, my mom mentioned something about knowing what I was going through with this pain but she wouldn't tell me what happened. Do you perhaps know what that's all about?"

His immediate reaction was filled with tension; he controlled himself before he answered.

"I think your mother should talk to you about that."

"Why is this family so determined to keep secrets from me." I shouted suddenly "It's obvious that you know and yet you won't tell me."

"Ness calm down, I just feel that this should come from Your Mom."

I glowered at him angrily.

"I'm asking you to tell me." I shot back.

"Ness I'm sorry but I really can't do that."

"You mean you won't."

"Ness I promise you will understand this one day."

"Why does everyone keeping on saying that? What is so wrong with knowing now?"

"Ness please just drop it now. I know your Mother will be extremely upset if I tell you before she does. Just wait and talk to her about it."

"Oh I will as I am sick and tired of these lies."

"It isn't lies Ness, I see your Dad's point that you don't need to know everything right now."

"So you are on my Dad's side now, that's just wonderful. I thought you were the one who wanted me to know and that it was my parents were dead set against it."

"Well for one, your Dad will kill me if I go against what he wishes for you and I think a little more time will be good for you before you know."

"So you are totally on their side now?" I grumbled.

"Nessie I will always be on your side."

I huffed in disagreement, it didn't seem that way to me.

"Come let's get you back as we have a flight to catch."

I let him lead me back to the hotel.

I was eager to broach the subject with my Mom again. I wanted her to tell me the truth. I rounded on my Mom as soon as I walked in.

"Mom, I want to talk to you please." I murmured.

"Of course sweetheart."

I walked into the other room and my mom was behind me in a flash.

"What is it?" My mom asked stroking my cheek.

"Well there is something that you said to me that I have been wondering about."

"Yes?" My mom urged.

"You said something about knowing about my pain and how I was feeling. I wanted to ask you what happened."

"I don't really want to talk about that." My Mom whispered.

'Mom why won't you tell me?"

"It's hard for me honey and it isn't really something that you need to know. It doesn't change anything." My answered softly.

I could tell how uncomfortable my mother was with my questions but it was important for me to know what my mom meant when she had said that she had gone through the same as me.

"Mom please talk to me."

My mom looked at me with a defeated expression and I could see that she was finally going to give in and tell me.

"I will tell you Renesmee, but not everything yet." My mom warned me.

"Alright that's fine."

"Well it was a few months after your father and I met that he thought that the vampire world was too dangerous for me and thought the best thing would be for him to leave my life. It was a truly terrible time for the both of us."

I looked at my Mom with wide eyes.