A/N: Sorry I think it's a little short but I didn't wanna let you wait any longer! Enjoy and have a nice Sunday x

How many times in life do people wake up and remember that everything they had suddenly turned out to be nothing? She'd been through this once when she had decided what she wanted to do with the rest of her life and she never thought she'd have to do it all again.

With the time Kate had actually gotten used to her medical studies and life at campus. It felt good to be with people and still, she couldn't help but be as careful as possible. She talked to her colleagues, she worked with them as much as was necessary but it was never more then that. With the time, she'd find soothing peace in her books. So many new things that needed room, that occupied her mind that she had less and less time to worry but finally look forward. It took a while but at some point she felt like she was doing something useful, something that would eventually take her away from where she was now.

The books wouldn't ask questions or hurt her, she could only learn from them. That was when she started being on her own and everyone else thought that she might be socially awkward in some way which is why she preferred the company of her beloved books. It'd suited her only too well back then. She knew they were talking about her, not because they suspected something but because they considered her as a person who'd rather be left alone. Kate was grateful for that and it had been one of the reasons why she finally decided to become a Medical Examiner.

When it was time to choose what she wanted, she thought it all through and she always ended up thinking that this was the best and safest decision to make. She wouldn't be too far away from what she'd been doing but she wouldn't be too close either. As a ME she'd be able to work on cases and help solving them like she used to only this time she was on the other side. She'd still be in it, while she'd stay safely hidden in the lab for most of the time. The dead ones wouldn't ask questions and they wouldn't judge her either. They wouldn't look at her, stare into her eyes during an interrogation, hoping that it would break her. There was nothing to fear and in some way, she was one of them. She was indeed dead. To anyone else, the person she'd used to be was dead and she knew that a part of her had literally died with it but unless the dead bodies on her table, she still had a chance to speak. She had the chance of doing them some justice, even if it was just post-mortem. She could help them find the ones who destroyed not only the victims lives but also those who loved them. That was the least she could do and she decided that this was her best choice.

Despite that, they all thought she was weird in some way and there will always be people who don't understand why someone would choose to be surrounded by dead bodies all day. She heard some of the other students joking; saying that only those who failed would become pathologists because there wasn't much left to screw up since your patients were dead already. She knew it was nonsense but she knew better then correcting them.

In the beginning, the silence of the morgue sent a chill down her spine. The silent humming of the refrigerator always made her look twice, making sure there wasn't anyone else with her. At one point she even made sure that her patients were really all dead just because she feared it might be differently. She had reached a point where she laughed about this. She had learned to embrace the silence and focus on what was in front of her. There was no room for any other thoughts except those regarding the case and the body she was about to cut open. She heard her thoughts loudly, thinking it through thoroughly as if she was talking to herself. It helped memorizing each and every step, perfecting her neat routine. This was exactly what helped her becoming the person they would know one day. It completed the whole thing of turning into another person. She was so absorbed in her work that she sometimes felt like she didn't have any contact to living human-beings for days, all she dealt with was science and facts because there was no mistake about it. There was hardly a chance she'd have to lie about anything and get confused or make mistakes and after a long, long time she found herself insecure on how to behave when she was surrounded by people. She wasn't quite sure what kind of behavior seemed appropriate; she lost track of what was Kate and what was supposed to be Maura. She'd lost track of the day it happened so she retreated to what felt easier and more comforting back then which was the day she became Maura Isles and she'd hardly ever gone back then.

She'd reached a moment in her life when she felt that looking forward was a good thing. She'd spent far too many time with looking at what she once had and now it finally felt right to look straight ahead only.

A few years later, she was fully content with who she was with all her quirks, personal flaws and her all reliable scientific facts. She'd even made friends, had a job she enjoyed and she was finally happy although there was a spark inside of her that had never gone out completely. It was the wish to return home or to be a little closer after all; she knew she couldn't see any of her friends or talk to them but just being a bit closer seemed fine for her. She finally enjoyed life again and she kept holding on to that spark dearly and it would still take a little while until she finally found a place she called home without any doubts; until she finally found that one person she felt complete with. That one person she would love fearlessly without any doubt but that day would come.

Jane woke up but kept her eyes closed; she knew it was still in the middle of the night. She took a deep breath, feeling the happiness filling every part of her body; it was something she hadn't felt in a very long time. She felt Maura's presence next to her, her even breathing while she was sleeping soundly; the warmth of her body beside her. She smelled the sweetness of the hot summer night; she smelled Maura and that scent filled her with so many emotions that she was simply overwhelmed. Jane opened her eyes and looked at Maura in the semi-darkness; she way laying on her stomach, her arm wrapped around a pillow. Jane looked at her for a few seconds, enjoying the silence of the night. She wanted to hold Maura in her arms, wanted to give in to the sensation of their naked bodies touching each other. She wanted to reach out and touch her, kiss her lips softly while she was sleeping but she didn't want to wake her.

Carefully, Jane sat down on the edge of the bed. A chill ran through her body when the early morning breeze hit her naked body. She wrapped a sheet around her body that was still damp from their love-making and walked to the adjoining bathroom. She didn't know what she was doing, she just needed a moment to herself without waking the woman she loved.

She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and looked at her reflection in the mirror at the other side of the room. Jane took another deep breath and bit her lip before the smile spread across her lips. She laid her head in her neck and laughed quietly to herself. In the past few weeks, she'd done everything she thought she never would and she never felt better. She smiled at the thought of the tiny cherry blossom on Maura's right hip bone. There were indeed many things she didn't know about her and it made her wonder why she chose the cherry blossom but she didn't quite have the time to ask questions earlier. Suddenly, her past and all her secrets simply made her want more. She was dying to find out who she was and what else she'd been hiding all those years. It made her attraction grow with anticipation and curiosity.

She remembered the words Maura had once said though she hadn't paid much attention back then, but it suddenly mattered a lot to her. Affection was affection and love was love and it doesn't matter who you're affected to or who you fall on love with. They had never talked about it at some point but Maura had always said that it doesn't matter who you fall in love with because in the end it's just the same. It's not the gender you fall in love with but the person. With remembering her words, she thought that she couldn't love her more; there was so much truth in her words.

Maura was still asleep when Jane returned to the bedroom and walked to the window. The street in front of the house was quiet, even the city was still asleep. Jane stared out of the window, lost in thoughts. One by one, the incidents of the last few weeks were sinking in, finally making sense or striking home. She thought of their first kiss at the beach when everything was still so far away and all Jane knew is that something was going terribly wrong. It left her feeling confused back then. The feeling of disappointment she felt when she found out that Maura didn't trust her enough to tell her the truth slowly vanished while she began to understand why it had been so important after all.

She turned her head, looking at Maura when the feeling that hurt the most spread inside of her like a furious fire that you couldn't stop no matter how hard you tried. She didn't want to think about it, didn't want to torture herself with it but the feelings just seeped into her body, the images burning into her mind. It was the feeling of helplessness and loss and suddenly she was back in that street in the middle of the night while all she could do was watch while Maura had almost been shot. She'd been watching the whole scene, trying to make sense of what was going on. She never really had time to think about it and it was now that she realized how much pain that memory caused her and that she wouldn't be able to handle it if anything happened to Maura now. She couldn't let her go again now that she finally found the one person she'd always been looking for.

Jane knew that her life would've never been the same again if Maura had died that night. She didn't want to imagine a life without her, even as her best friend, and a life without knowing why it all happened and who was to be held responsible for this. She would've spent her whole life looking for the truth until it probably would've killed her in the end as well.

What if I'm making a mistake? She asked herself before she could stop the thoughts. Although it all felt so real and right, there was this voice inside her head that kept asking that question. What if it's not going to work out? She couldn't bare to think of what might happen, considering that this wouldn't work out for some reason.

She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it again, silent tears running down her cheeks. Jane reached out and gently tuck a few hairs behind Maura's ear. She opened her eyes and looked at Jane until she noticed that she was crying.

"Jane" she whispered and sat upright, moving closer to her.

"I didn't want to wake you," Jane said quietly and leaned forward, her forehead resting against Maura's.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I will be," Jane whispered. "It'll be alright."

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane and held her tight. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; now that things finally calmed down she realized that she wasn't the only one who'd suffered through all of it. She was tired but for the first time in a while it actually felt good. Being here with Jane made her feel better. It finally made her feel free and the feeling of having someone she could trust no matter what brought her close to tears. This was what she'd been looking for all those years. The feeling of being loved and being able to give love without any fear; to lean back in someone's arms and feel that this is the only place where you belong. At some point she'd already given up on it; there were moments when she'd been so desperate that she thought she'd never be able to find anyone who'd make her feel this way.

Maura cupped her face with her hands and looked into her eyes.

"We're gonna be okay," she said softly and kissed Jane's tears away.

"C'mere," Jane said quietly when she laid down and Maura snuggled up to her. She took Jane's hands and watched them quietly for a while.

"It's not going to be easy..." Maura said.

"It never is."

"What do you they'll say?" Maura asked.

"Don't you think they know already?" Jane asked in reply to that and Maura knew that there was the tiniest smile on her face just from the sound of her voice.

"Suspecting and actually knowing is not the same."

"They won't care about it so much," Jane said. She knew exactly how things worked at the precinct and she couldn't expect every one to accept it just like that, that would be way too easy. There was a time in which she'd cared an awesome load about what others think or say about her but now all she could think of was that she'd been through a lot of worse things and for now it could only get better.

"What are you gonna tell your mum?" Maura asked quietly after a while.

"What about the truth?" Jane suggested. "Well... if someone knows already, I'm sure it's her!"

Maura laughed and said: "Speaking about the truth... I guess I'll have to answer a few questions as well!"

"You don't have to lie any more," Jane said and turned on her side to look at Maura. "You don't have to be afraid any longer and I'm sure the boys will love your story," Jane said and laughed.

"Mhm, yeah maybe Frost will stop making fun of me if he knows that I do now how to handle a gun," Maura said and Jane smiled.

"Seriously," Jane said. "What you did was very brave."

"And now I know it was all worth it," she said and pulled Jane a little closer and kissed her.

"We should go back to sleep," Maura said between a few kisses.

"Really?" Jane said and wrapped her arms around Maura. "You wanna sleep?" she said and kissed her again and they were far from getting any sleep.