Tori goes platinum-part 4-guilt
New chapter, final part! Yay so yeah, hope you enjoy!
It's called guilt cuz poor Jade's feeling all guilty, in fact so guilty she lets Tori perform aww how nice!
Is it just me or could Jade get arrested for changing the script thing, cuz I'm pretty sure that's got to be illegal!
Disclaimer: I don't own victorious
Tori's POV
After I've had my little cry, ok a huge waterworks I'm dragged out of my room by hunger pangs in my stomach, otherwise I would have quite happily stayed there all night and probably a good portion of tomorrow too, I need comfort food, when I get downstairs Trina's filling a bowl with mustard, I'm not even going to ask. "There's something for you" Trina informs me as I put a hotdog into the microwave, Trina points over to the table and I look over to see a small box, wrapped in silver wrapping paper. I raise my eyebrow, what's this? I head over and rip off the paper, inside it's a small box of chocolates and a folded note 'sorry, not from a friend xx' I'm sure I recognised the hand writing but I'm not sure where from, oh well that's weird but chocolate sounds amazing right now so I rip open the box and am about to dig in when I remember my hotdog so I just slip the box into my pocket and grab the hotdog off of the counter. Just as Trina brings her bowl over to the table, I check the fridge; damn she used all the mustard.
I sit down and in the silence that fills the room my mind wanders and where else would it go except to my lost opportunity. I can't believe it, all my hard work, and rehearsals, pretending to be someone I'm not for days on end, all for this one chance, yet all for nothing apparently. I try to find it in myself to be mad at Beck after all he told me to confront Mason, if he hadn't then maybe I would have been at rehearsals right at this very moment but I can't be mad, after all he only suggested it, I didn't have to go through with it and he was only trying to help. He was the only one who saw that it wasn't me, that I was being forced to change who I was. Even if other people had assumed, he was the only one who spoke of it. After failing to be mad at Beck I try to force my anger onto Jade, she took my place, my huge chance with a smirk, but her face until Beck had challenged her had been blank almost horrified and as she was led away her smirk didn't reach her eyes and then suddenly it hits me, where I'd seen that handwriting I was almost certain it was Jade's neat, curly scrawl, Jade's writing is quite recognisable since I've never seen anyone write so small, I've actually had to squint to read her notes, on the rare occasions she's let me borrow them , tiny neat, and not a drop of ink out of place. So if I'm right and I think I am, that means Jade came here or got someone to drop the gift off for her and she apologised, so did she feel guilty? Whether Jade means anything by the gift or not and even if Beck told me to stand up for myself, I can't be mad at either of them.
Sitting at the table with Trina, although she isn't much company since every ten minutes she submerges herself in her bowl of mustard, clutching my hot dog I explain "obviously I'm sad I'm not going to be on the show but I'm kind of proud that I stood up for myself" as I continue my voice gradually becomes more down in the dumps than I intended. Trina lifts her face out of the bowl and I hope for a second that she'll give me advice or tell me that it doesn't matter but then I remember it's Trina and she's pretty much hated me since I came home to tell mum and dad that I had got on the show so I just wait for the scathing comment. But she stays silent, "is that really helping anything?" I exclaim glancing at the mustard "they say mustard repels pimples" Trina yells as though I'd just asked a really stupid question, I just ignore her and dip my hotdog into the mustard stuck to her face, I seriously don't know how we're related at times like these or most of the time in general. I start to eat again as Trina puts her face in the bowl once again, again how are we even related? Before I can take a bite though the doorbell goes "oh god, people" Trina gasps, trying and failing to wipe the mustard off her face, seeing that it's futile she runs screaming upstairs, I roll my eyes and get up to answer the door, it's Andre "hey" I sigh, maybe disappointed because I had stupidly dreamed of It being Mason to tell me that I was back on the awards and that he agreed that I should just be myself, god like that's ever going to happen. "Hey I brought you a present" Andre greets, smiling and showing me a small stuffed puppy, why would I want that? Why would anyone over the age of five want that? At least he made an effort, that was nice, Andre walks in and I shut the door behind him "a stuffed dog?" I ask gloomily. "No it's a special stuffed dog" it doesn't look special, I don't even really like dogs that much after one bit me when I was little, "check him out" Andre presses a button and lays it on the floor, the dog then starts rolling around and laughing as though it's having a fit. "That's really frightening" I exclaim feeling bad at rejecting his gift but seriously that dog is terrifying, it's probably possessed or something. "That's a sick toy isn't it?" Andre agrees, he probably didn't know what it did when he bought it.
It continues rolling and laughing like a demon when the doorbell rings again "ok, one sec" I call heading over to the door, this time it's Beck and Robbie both holding what I assume are presents for me please let them be better than Andre's gift, no offence. "Hello boys, come in" I gesture into the house and they do, both stepping around me to stand by the coach. Beck announcing cheerfully "thanks I brought you a plant" and Robbie stops to smile "look I got you a chocolate leaf blower" why is it a leaf blower? "Is that chocolate" I wonder "yeah, taste it" Robbie nods, to which I immediately snap "no." Then closing the door I turn to everyone else "you guys, listen I really appreciate you coming over here to try and cheer me up but…I'm fine" I lie and the dog starts laughing and rolling around again as though mocking my lie, "I'm sorry I'm not too sure how this puppy works" Andre apologises picking up the dog and turning it over but it just continues laughing "turn it off" I scream "right er" Andre keeps trying but the dog keeps laughing until Beck snatches it off him announcing "I got it" and walks past us all and into the kitchen where he throws the dog into the freezer and it finally falls silent.
Cat's POV
I'm so excited Jade invited me to come and help her rehearse for the award show, I wonder what's going to happen, Jade doesn't even know what song she's singing yet oh and I bet there'll be bibble there, maybe if I can somehow get away from Oliver then I can get some. Wait no I have to be a better person, no bibble but it's so good, I have a serious problem, I've only managed to get like a piece of bibble every now and then. But I found a way to get lots of bibble all at once, so what I've been doing to Tori and Jade is to poke them repeatedly until they agree to bring some bibble into school for me. I got the idea from my brother when he wanted my bikini and I said no so he followed me around the house poking me constantly until I let him have it. Usually Jade will cave first simply because she doesn't really care if my parents don't want me eating bibble anymore and she just wants the poking to stop, so then once I've got someone to bring me some bibble in, I will say I need the toilet so Oliver waits outside and boosh, bibble for Cat. It worked great until Oliver figured out what was happening because he smelt my bibble breath and now if I go into the toilet with Jade or Tori they have to empty their pockets and bags to prove they don't have any bibble, stupid Oliver. Jade picks me up on her way there and when we arrive there are flashes of light almost instantly and people with cameras crowd the car. Jade puts her hand over her eyes and sighs "let's go" as soon as we get out the cameras are pushed into our faces and I clutch my laptop tightly to my chest "ahh" I cry as a camera goes off right next to me, and Oliver has to force a path through the crowd for me and Jade, once we're inside the paparazzi don't follow thank god "this sucks" Jade spits as we enter the backstage area where we're supposed to meet Mason "hey, Jade ok we have much to do let's go" and Mason drags a reluctant Jade away to try on some outfits as she disappears into the crowd I hear her mumble "this is going to be a long day."
While Jade tries on her outfit for Mason I decide to video chat Tori in case she's feeling sad, Jade says I'm good at making people feel better, the weird thing is Jade seems sad too, like an assistant brought her coffee with only one sugar and usually Jade would be really mad but she just sighed and put it in the trash without a word. Jade's been getting a lot better though, she's been getting more bossy as time goes on which is like her first steps to not being sad anymore. But Tori must still be really sad, when my call is accepted I see Robbie instead of Tori, he must be trying to make Tori feel better as well "hi" I cry, smiling "hey cutie" Robbie waves, aw he called me cutie, he thinks I'm cute. "Hey Cat" Tori smiles standing behind Robbie with Andre next to her who smiles "hey girl" "you remember Oliver" I remind them, waving and Oliver leans down to wave as well greeting "hello everyone" but he doesn't smile, he doesn't ever really smile but he's nice, my mum and dad say 'he's only here to help you' but I don't see how keeping me away from bibble helps me in anyway. Oliver stands back up which means Tori has a clearer view of my background "Cat, where are you?" oh no, Tori will think I've chosen Jade over her, which I obviously have but I don't want Tori to know that, "er" I look behind me trying to think of an excuse "I'm erm, I'm in the bath tub" I explain then start singing and pretending to wash myself to make it more realistic. "No you not in the bathtub" Tori laughs, yay I cheered her up but now she's on to me, dang it "we're backstage at the boomerang theatre" Oliver tells them leaning down again, Oliver just completely gave me away. Maybe they didn't notice "Cat you don't have to lie, it's okay if you're with Jade helping her get ready for the show" Tori smiles "you're sure you're not mad at me?" I wonder nervously "I'm sure" Tori nods but she's frowning "good" I smile then lean forward and whisper "bring me some bibble, you're my only hope" "no bibble for Cat" Oliver warns pointing at the camera "Oliver" I cry angrily, why can't I just have a little bit of bibble "Cat I'm not getting you bibble, anything else?" Tori says, damn all I want is bibble "no" I sigh but then I remember what Jade said and so I pass on the message "oh Jade said you guys are invited to come watch her rehearse." "Ok, no thanks" Tori shrugs but Robbie and Andre look as if they really want too "you guys want to go watch her?" Tori asks turning to Andre "rehearse for the platinum music awards?" "No" they both smile but I'm pretty sure they're lying "no we came here to hang with you" Andre nods but his voice lacks conviction "if you want to go you can go" Tori replies "yay" Andre grins and both he and Robbie kiss Tori on each cheek and run to the door. On the way out Robbie grabs a bag from the floor "your taking my chocolate leaf blower?" Tori yells incredulously but all that she gets is a slammed door and she falls onto the couch and then onto the floor. Seeing that Tori's probably not up to speak to anyone at the moment I'm about to log off when a woman walks past carrying a bowl of bibble. "Hey, hey lady" I cry "please can I have some of your bibble" I beg but as soon as I take a step forward Oliver yanks me back and the woman, casting a weird glance at me puts the bowl onto the table and hurries off, everyone seems so busy. "Can I just have a little bit of bibble" I plead, gazing longingly at the bowl in front of me "the answer is no" Oliver snaps "but I just" I start to yell but I'm interrupted by Jade "Cat, take this now Mason wants me to try on the blue skirt." There's an edge in Jade's voice and I know she's frustrated. She just wants to be on the stage and do what she wants like she's so used too, just to sing, have fun and show of her talent not be forced to try on hideous outfits that she tells me make her want to vomit. "Why doesn't he like this one" I wonder, Jade looked really pretty in it and it wasn't as weird as the other outfits she's tried on tonight have been. "I think this skirt is pretty" Oliver adds taking it off me "just go and get the blue one" Jade orders, she really doesn't like being told what to do and Mason's been the one in control, Jade doesn't get to decide anything really I sigh and pull Oliver to the clothes rack "let's go Oliver" "first we have to go get the red one and now the blue one" Oliver complains and I just sigh "life is hard."
Jade's POV
God I hate all of this, the guilt is an annoying factor but the worst thing by far is not being able to choose anything that I say or do on stage, that part really sucks. I feel like a dress up doll or something, the amount of clothes I've been forced to try on is ridiculous, there's actually been a few I've liked but Mason says no and the rest have been awful, I'm going to look like a complete idiot. Cat's been helping as much as she can but with every outfit I try on the urge to throw something out of the window increases, I can stand being ordered about, just, if it's for an opportunity this huge but being made to look like a fricken moron is something different altogether. I'll just have to deal with it, it's not for long anyway, I sigh and make my way over to the dressing table where I look balefully into the mirror, trying to calm myself before I have to go back to where Mason's waiting to see me in the blue skirt.
I reach to the side and grab my bag; wow my bag is just so full of junk I have to root around for a while before to find my phone so I can text Andre to see if he's coming but just as I spot my phone my attentions pulled away by familiar voices coming from Cat's laptop. I narrow my eyes suspiciously and lean forward to get a clear view. Cat must have video chatted with Vega and left the monitor on and I guess Vega would have had to forget as well since on the screen I catch a clear image of Vega's living room complete with her and Beck sitting far too close together over on the couch. I hear Beck's voice through the screen "I should've just kept my mouth shut" yeah he should have Vega sighs, probably thinking the same thing but then smiles faintly "no, you were right, I mean if I'm going to be famous I want it to be because of my talent not for throwing tantrums and wearing meat hats." That's a sweet speech that I don't believe a word off, her voice stinks of regret and her whole posture is downcast, as there's a silence between Beck and Vega I spot a zoom option, so I zoom in on the couch to get a closer look, I'm pretty sure they've moved closer together, the thought alone is enough to bring a scowl to my face. "Well can't you be famous for your talent and for wearing meat hats?" Beck laughs, trying to be positive and I just roll my eyes, I wonder what would happen if they happened to realise I was spying, they can't really be mad, I mean it's their own stupid faults for leaving the chat on so it's not really spying either and who wouldn't watch? "Seriously meat, whenever you want right out of your hat" ok that is just disgusting, I mean I love meat, I could never be a vegetarian but meat out of a hat is just wrong all the fat dripping, oh god that's vile. But Vega doesn't seem to share my disgust and just laughs along with Beck, "as simple as that" Vega sighs, nothing's as simple as that honey "so" Beck starts but then pauses and there's tense silence, at least it's tense on my end, if I did sweat, which I don't, ever, I would probably be sweating now, Beck starts to lean forward and my long nails dig into the soft wood of the desk and my heart seems to be making its best effort to pound its way out of my chest. I have to hold back a scream of indignation, of course they'd hear and jump apart pretty fast but it would be awkward at best, mortifying at worst so I bite my tongue and settle for a gasp as Beck leans forward and Vega does the same. "Yeah" Vega mumbles and she pulls back slightly and her back straightens, the clear sign of rejection doesn't register in my mind and my eyes, locked on Beck widen in horror and I have to lean back slightly. "Er" Vega stutters and my heart comes to a sudden stop in its mission, Beck straightens up awkwardly and leans away, running a tanned hand through his hair.
Sweet relief flows through me, like being boiling hot and stepping into an air conditioned building, I could honestly hug Vega right now or skip through the school declaring that I love unicorns and the colour pink. I remember when Beck would try and kiss me and I would refuse for whatever reason, if I was mad at him or had tuna for lunch or something but I always had a reason, other than that I bet Beck's never been rejected before and I was enjoying every second of his embarrassment. "Oh" Vega breaths mock punching Beck's face "you" if she's trying to diffuse the awkwardness in any way then she is completely failing, by the looks of things it still hangs thick in the air. But once the initial relief disappears I'm left with confusion, why wouldn't Vega kiss Beck? Everyone assumed they were perfect for each other, especially after Beck and I broke up, most people hadn't heard the full story and they probably never will but what most people somehow know is that it was messy which is true and that it was at Vega's also true but since not many people know what happened exactly and those who do won't say a word, I made sure of that, there's been a lot of confusion leaving most people think that we broke up so Beck and Vega can be together. But there's also been outrageous rumours going around that I've had to put a stop too, one of the worst being that Beck and Vega have been having an affair for months and I walked in on them having sex, of course the bitch at fault for starting that one was soon led to tears when I found her, safe to say I never heard that one again. "I'm sorry" Beck apologises "no, I'm sorry" Vega exclaims, seeming frustrated with herself "I didn't mean to" Beck begins "no, no you didn't, you" Vega seems to be struggling to put her thoughts into words, I always tease her mercilessly when she has that problem with me nearby, I guess when you want to say something but not offend people you have to think about it more, probably why I never have that problem, I speak my mind. Certain now that there wasn't going to be any kissing I lean forward again "then why can't we kiss?" Beck asks, god talk about desperate, "because" Vega starts frowning, because of what? I probably want to know just as much as Beck "because of Jade" Vega finally admits, it takes me a second before I register that it's my name, wait what have I done? I feel my eyes widen, this time in surprise, I didn't expect me to be a reason. "Jade and I broke up" Beck reasons and I find myself wondering amusedly if he expects to argue with Vega until he gets a kiss "yeah but kissing your friends ex-boyfriend…" Vega starts but is interrupted by Beck "what? Wait since when are you and Jade friends?"
Shouldn't he be happy? After all he's been bugging me to be friends with Vega ever since her first day at school, of course to start with, when my emotional wounds were still at their deepest and my shields tightly in place after her 'stage kiss' with Beck just a slight suggestion of friendship with her or even just hearing her name would set me off into a fury or at least put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. After a few weeks for me to heal and for Beck to regain my trust a comment about how we should be friends would just receive an eye roll.
Yet now as Vega claimed we were friends Beck tries to convince Tori that we're not, I mean he's right I would rather slowly dehydrate to death in the desert rather than accept that maybe Vega and I are just slightly closer than acquaintances but Beck doesn't need to argue with Vega the fact that we're not friends I can do that well enough on my own and to get a kiss at that. Vega pauses as though trying to come up with a reasonable response to the question, I wonder what she would say if she knew I was watching. "Last week she took your hamburger and rubbed it against her barefoot" I close my eyes slowly in regret, maybe that was kind of mean but she called me a gank just because we were put into partners for tennis and I conveniently but 'accidently' whacked her in the face with the ball every time it was my serve, she is terrible at tennis like truly awful, I'm actually really good since my parents forced me to go to tennis lessons since I was five until I finally put a stop to it when I was fourteen, mum only forced me to do it because she was like some tennis star or something when she was younger. I used to hate it then but now I've discovered that I can use that skill to cause Vega pain so I forgive my parents. I just hope were partners next week although I think Vega will put a stop to it even if we are, anyway after calling me a heartless gank she just left her food on the table with Cat, Beck, Robbie and I while she went to get some ice for her face. I wasn't just going to let her comment slide especially when she gave me such a huge opportunity, plus Beck doesn't really have the right to say anything since he didn't even try to stop me or warn Vega so he's just as much in the wrong as I am. I'll just say this, Vega's lucky I don't sweat because after tennis some people were sweating like so much they could probably water their gardens or something. "Ew, I ate feet meat?" Vega cries, looking disgusted "and she took your place in the platinum music awards" no way, he did not just say that, ok he's dead, like so dead they'll find his body in pieces it's unreal how dead he'll be. He was literally just hours ago texting me about how he apologises for accusing me of just that and accepted that he was wrong and now he's using that against me, how dare he. "I mean I guess Jade and I aren't friends friends but were kind of friends I think and kissing her ex-boyfriend, I couldn't do that to a friend"
I can't take it anymore, I don't want to hear Beck's response, he'll probably just list more reasons why Vega and I aren't friends, filling me with yet more guilt when I already owe her so much, god this sucks. As I hear a pair of footsteps announcing the return of Cat and Oliver I compose myself and turn calmly to face them, but inside my minds still a mess, still in a case of pandemonium, I can barely thing straight, do I owe Vega anything; she didn't kiss Beck for me after all, should I call her, thank her, slap her for saying we were friends? What are they saying now, do I want to hear? Am I glad that I know what happened or would it have been better if I'd just slammed the laptop shut the second I heard Beck's voice. Is Beck really so desperate for a kiss? He must be completely over me and that knowledge turned the dull ache in my chest into a fierce burn, like hope was a blanket smothering the fire, removing the safety blanket, the hope, allows an inferno to form. I have to use all of my skills, gained through years of acting classes to keep an indifferent expression on my face. "We got the blue skirt" Oliver announces, holding it up but I barely hear through the whirl of emotions and thoughts "Jade, hey" Cat yells and I'm snapped out of my haze, I look up blearily and see Cat's worried expression "Jadey what's wrong?" she questions, Cat knows me well enough to easily see through my best actors mask to the turmoil inside. "Can you like go away?" I ask turning to face Oliver "I won't give her any bibble or allow her to have any" I assure him when he looks unsure but he still shakes his head "I want to talk to Cat, alone" I snap and in response he pulls out a bulky pair of headphones and puts them other ears before miming zipping his lips. Whatever I can see he's not going to leave, hoping he can't hear I recount what I saw over her laptop in a hushed voice "oh Jade it's my fault isn't it, I didn't turn it off and now your sad" Cat panics, dragging Oliver along so she can hug me.
Cat's POV
"He's just stupid" I try, when Jade's mad at someone it sometimes helps to make her feel better if I diss them or pretend to hate them too. The corners of Jade's mouth twitch up into a pained smile "thanks for trying, that was a nice effort" she sighs grabbing the skirt off of Oliver to go and get changed. "Poor Jade" I mumble as Oliver takes his headphones off, Jade's hurting so much but nobody ever sees it, it doesn't matter if I can see it, I'm not the one with the power to make it go away. I can just make her smile for a couple of hours at a time but she's still hurting and her hurt easily becomes hate for everyone and everything. As Tori found out the hard way, she hurt Jade in a really bad way and now Jade will probably hate her for like ever and ever, Jade might help Tori when she really needs it but they won't ever be friends, at least as far as Jade's concerned. I sort of thought that that would happen to Beck sooner or later since he hurt her just like Tori did but it's like she can't hate him, but her comebacks are more cutting, her glare darker and her mood swings more violent since Beck left, Beck left but I'll stay, I've always been Jade's friend and I always will be oh, oh bibble! I dart over to the table pulling Oliver with me; maybe I can just grab a handful, "no" Oliver yells pulling me away, aw but I need I, after that attempt Oliver will be on high alert so I probably won't have another chance to get any more bibble, so after accepting that, since the show will be starting soon Oliver leaves me at the dressing room door so that I can change into something more fancy, and frilly and more pink. It's one of my favourite dresses, it's really pink and poofy and I even brought in a little pink bow for my hair but I needed to borrow a hair brush from one of the hair dressers to fix my hair. When I open the door Oliver's gone and there's a clear line from me to the bibble, I start to run towards it but out of nowhere Oliver grabs me and reattaches the handcuffs to my wrist, no I was so close "you failed" he shakes his head disappointedly "whatty?" I ask confused, was there a test, did I miss it? "You obviously can't resist the bibble's irresistible call but don't worry cupcake you will" Oliver sounds really passionate, probably thinking back to when he used to have a bibble problem. "Can I just smell some bibble?" I plead "no" Oliver snaps "why?" "What don't you understand?" "Why can't you just let me smell the bibble?" It's not fair, if I can't eat it I should be at least aloud to smell it, I wonder if they have bibble perfume or air freshener then I can smell it as much as I like and Oliver wouldn't even realise. "You can't even have a whiff of bibble, it's too sweet, it's too good" Oliver finishes explaining just as Robbie and Andre arrive, both dressed fancy like me, except in suits not dresses and neither are pink which is a shame because they would look so funny in pink. "Hey Cat" Andre smiles, what's with everyone saying hey today? Oh no is hi going out of fashion? "Hey little red thing" Robbie adds his own greeting, hehe Robbie's so weird but really, really nice, who cares if hi' is out of fashion, I'm going to bring it back "hi" I grin "so where's Jade?" Andre wonde rs "you can't talk to her, she's over there getting ready" I point, I spoke to Jade just before she had to go and get her makeup done and she is really mad, she thinks that her outfit is awful, it's like her worst nightmare, it's all pink which is nice but really weird and there's like this wig that has like erm, stuff coming out of it and it's just weird. Jade said she's probably going to burn it after the show's over but I'm pretty sure that's illegal, wait maybe she was being sarcastic, Jade says I really need to learn when someone's being sarcastic because this one time I asked Jade if it was school tomorrow and she said "oh yeah, sure you know considering it's Saturday AND half term school's definitely on" and so I went to school but no one was there and I was all by myself for ages until I called my mum to pick me up, Jade almost chocked she was laughing so hard when I told her but I don't understand why someone would say something that's not true, so is sarcasm the same as lying, I really need to ask Jade she's like queen of sarcasm. Noticing that everyone's waiting for me to do something I break out of my thoughts to say "Come on, I'll take us too our seats" "I get the aisle seat" Oliver calls dibbs "you can have the aisle seat" I assure him then add deciding to test Rex's theory that bribery gets you everything "for bibble" "no" Oliver yells, "DANG IT."
Tori's POV
I pause outside Jade's dressing room I've come all the way here for the show thanks to free tickets from Jade but I'm not quite sure why I felt the need to come and speak to Jade beforehand. I guess I'll just wing it and hope she doesn't get mad at me for I don't know interrupting her like silence or breathing her air or something, ok here goes nothing. I guess I'm here to tell Jade that it's ok that she's performing, not that she needs me to tell her what to do, god I'm confusing myself already, oh whatever "wow incredible outfit" I smile "I look like an idiot" Jade answers blankly, ok not the best start "erm a pretty pink idiot, with a thing on her head" I try to encourage but as soon as I've said it I realise how stupid what I've just said sounds, especially considering Jade hates the colour pink, I think she hates it more than she hates me, a lot. I expect a mouthful or at least an insult but all I get is silence and then a sarcastic but lacking any real malice, as though Jade can't be bothered "thanks" then after a pause continues "I didn't expect to see you here" "well, everyone else was coming to cheer you on so if figured I would too" I see a flicker of interest in her eyes as though she hadn't expected everyone to come then I continue cautiously "and you look way better in that than I would of" I try to keep the envy out of my voice but fail incredibly. I wait for the obviously or I know or something but once again there's only silence from Jade's end, it's almost as if she's in the middle of a fierce internal debate and her cold eyes are clouded with clashing emotions, excitement for the performance but only slightly, almost drowned out by the other emotions, guilt, confusion, hate, apparently for someone who isn't me for once since she's been perfectly nice to me if not extremely withdrawn.
Jade really isn't that hard to read but then she looks up and it's almost like shutters slam down and her eyes are completely void once again, cold and dark and then I realise I only saw because she let her guard down not like how Cat and Beck do when she tries to hide how she feels, she opens her mouth but then pauses before finally blurting out "this isn't right" "yeah it is a little tight" I begin even though I know full well that what she's about to say has nothing to do with her outfit "no, not the stupid outfit this, me" this wasn't what I expected, Jade hates to say that anything's wrong with her or if she's done anything wrong she won't let anyone mention it and she'll argue for hours even when she's obviously wrong but now, here she's coming out saying she's done something wrong "I don't" I start but once again I'm interrupted by Jade "this was supposed to be your night, this was your big chance so for me to go out there and" she seems unable to continue but I have to hear so I encourage "and" she seems lost for words before replying simply with a sigh "I couldn't do that to a friend" at least it would have been simple if I hadn't said those exact words to Beck when he tried to kiss me "or even to you" Jade adds trying to make up for her last sentence but I don't react "you, how?" I stutter, "Cat's laptop" she shrugs "I'm, what" I try, but Jade interrupts, I can't really complain, she can hit as many tennis balls into my face as she wants, hate me as much as she wants or rub my food on her foot whenever she wants, ok maybe not that last one but still if she's saying what I think she is then she has just given up the biggest opportunity for years so the person she hates can be happy "there's not enough time, you'll be going on soon I just have to sort something, this is your time to shine, mine will come later" Jade shrugs trying to sound nonchalant but I can hear the anguish in her voice, although the guilt won out there must have been a huge part of her that wanted to forget me and perform "I won't forget what you did for me" I smile. "God that's cheesy" Jade smirks "don't worry, you won't get the chance" "should I be scared?" I laugh "probably, have fun I'll see you later, me and Cat were going to go to celebrate at Nozu afterwards do you want to come? I guess it'll be your celebration now, you can invite everyone" Jade adds, starting to move to the door "wow, that would be great" I grin, Jade must be feeling unusually kind today "your buying my drinks" Jade snaps and then leaves with a wave and a huge grin spreads across my face. Don't have to think hard to remember my song 'make it in America' I guess that's what I'm doing right now, making It in America.
Jade's POV
It's nice to be in normal clothes again but still I sit alone at a table while Cat dances with Robbie, Beck's off somewhere, Andre's buying food and Vega's off signing autographs, yes autographs some random girls spotted her and freaked out, god to imagine that could have been me, instead of sitting here at a table by myself, what was I thinking? Guilt makes me do stupid things, like really stupid things. As promised Vega bought me a drink, only coke since I'm driving, in hindsight it was stupid offering to give people lifts, it would be fun to drink a bit not enough to be drunk because I am a handful when I get really drunk. One time I was completely wasted and apparently it took Beck Andre and some other guy to drag me off this girl who spilt a tiny drop of punch son me, I don't really remember much of what happens when I'm drunk but Beck used to make sure he'd keep me informed. I swirl the little straw around the glass with a long nail, I've been letting my nails grow longer since I stopped biting them. That was a terrible habit of mine that took me years to get out of; I look up from my drink when I hear someone take a seat next to me expecting to see Cat but instead it's Beck "hey why are you here?" I snap looking back down at my drink which has suddenly become extremely interesting. "you invited everyone" he challenges playfully and I just roll my eyes "at this table" I elaborate "I thought you looked lonely by yourself" Beck shrugs "oh how kind of you" I smirk sarcastically, him just being her is annoying "you did a really nice thing today, I'm guessing it was you who let Tori perform" he smiles and my mind travels back to the smile we shared when I sat down beside him, it's hard to know whether to be angry because he tried to kiss Tori or happy that he complimented me and came over because I was by myself, it is nice to have some company I suppose. "I sometimes known do nice things" I sigh shrugging "so you are" Beck nods; wow this is seven shades of awkward "was this your idea?" Beck wonders "no, Cat wanted her and I to come here after I performed to celebrate so I decided to invite everyone and have it Tori's celebration" I explain "wow two nice things in one day" Beck laughs, "yeah, just don't expect it to happen again" I warn "don't worry I won't" he assures me "oh did you hear about the school trip?" Beck wonders "I probably did, but for the amount of attention I pay in class I wouldn't have noticed" I laugh "oh well Sikowitz is planning on taking some people from his classes on a camping trip are you going?" "Like camping like in tents like in some random forest somewhere?" I clarify and Beck nods, "it sounds fun" "I'm not an outdoors person" I shrug "and one or more of us would probably get, murdered, lost, fall into a sink hole, mauled, drowned in a lake, cause a fire, kidnapped or something with Sikowitz in charge" I smirk "so true, but slightly dramatic" Beck agrees taking a sip of his own drink. "Are you going to go?" I turn the question back onto Beck "maybe" "oh maybe what?" Andre wonders joining us at the table "maybe going on the camping trip" I explain "oh yeah, it sounds cool" Andre nods "do we have to pay?" "Not as far as I know" Beck replies "maybe I will go then" I laugh, "I might die but it sounds fun and there'll probably be a lot of opportunities for pranking" "same" Andre smiles, the conversation went on for a couple of hours before Cat and Robbie join us and later Vega after she escapes from the crowds, the celebration ends at twelve when Nozu closes and I find myself smiling, I'm surprised but it's actually been really fun, Cat's coming back to my house for a sleepover tonight so I probably won't be able to get any sleep in before three but I don't really care, it's the weekend, I'll sleep it off tomorrow.
Done! Wow, that was like the longest episode ever! Four parts all over 6,000 words each I think! For some reason I just added in like pages of in between moments but hopefully it's paid off and you've enjoyed it!
So was that hint at the end of a chapter to come? Or wasn't it? I know but you'll have to wait and see!
Review and I will love you forever! Nice long reviews are the best because I want opinions, advice, suggestions and positive criticism! Maybe that's too greedy but you'd be the best person ever if you did even one of those! Love you all!
Later haters
Chloe
Xxx