Chapter 21

Merlin woke to sun streaming into his windows. For a moment, he let his eyes drift blearily around the room, trying to decide if he really did survive the night. Then he saw Gwen peering at him from the door.

When they made eye contact, she smiled broadly and rushed in the rest of the way. She sat down on the chair where Lancelot had been. Her eyes were over bright, like she had been crying.

"Merlin? Can you hear me? How are you feeling?" she asked, leaning over him, her curly hair falling around her shoulders.

That was good question.

Merlin managed to wiggle all of his fingers and all of his toes. The agonizing pain that had tortured his last waking moment had subsided. The potion must have worked. But he felt exhausted and sore, like the days following the battle of Morgana immortal army, when he had been slammed into the wall. Every muscle ached; he didn't even know he had muscles in his forearms before this moment. Merlin decided not to move. He sank deeper into the sheets.

Gwen started to wail right in front of him.

"Oh Merlin. I never thought you would wake up again. Now you are awake, but you can't talk. This is awful."

Merlin started to tell her that she was wrong, but somehow he couldn't. The words died in his throat before they came out. It made an ahhck sort of sound. Gwen wailed even harder.

Gwen sat by his bed and cried harder and harder. Merlin watched her, keeping his eyes fixed on her, trying to comfort her with his eyes. She didn't stop crying, in fact, her sobbing grew to alarming level. Merlin needed to do something. He moved his bandaged, broken hand and set it on her lap, attempting to pat her knee. Moving his hand was a lot harder than it should have been. His hand felt like it weighed several thousand pounds.

Gwen grabbed his hand and it throbbed painfully. He winced, in spite of himself, and found out that there were muscles in his face, which were sore. They sat there, Gwen crying and hold his hand, and Merlin staring at her, trying not to move any part of his body. This might have gone on all day, if the door to the infirmary hadn't banged open. Merlin heard footsteps on the steps outside his room and then Arthur appeared in the doorway.

Arthur took in Gwen and Merlin and then his face contorted into something that looked like grief.

"Is he?" Arthur asked, not finishing his sentence.

"He's not dead. His fever broke last night," Gwen said quietly. "After that happens, they usually fall into a coma. But his eyes are open."

"That's a good thing right?" Arthur asked. "He's not in a coma."

"He's not in a coma. He's awake, he understands me talking to him. He can't talk. He can't move. It's like he's in a waking coma. He's trapped inside his own body. At least the others are asleep."

Arthur's face looked pained, and he paled. Gwen started crying afresh.

Arthur pulled Gwen into a hug. Merlin felt his hand fall off the side of the bed. It fell halfway to the floor before it stopped. It hung there while Gwen sobbed into Arthur's chest. Merlin tried to move his hand back. He could feel it perfectly, but it wouldn't move. Maybe his plan of getting smuggled out tonight wasn't going to work so well after all.

As Merlin strained to move his hand back to his body – it bloody hurt to hang there – Arthur and Gwen began to kiss, more passionately than Merlin had ever seen before. Merlin sighed to himself, focusing on his hand. But then he realized why it didn't work. The fever was back. He could feel it burn on the top of his head and the tips of his fingers. Fantastic. He'd have to take the crappy potion again.

Arthur squeezed Gwen more closely to him while Gwen was stroking his face with her hands. Arthur began to run his hands down Gwen's neck.

Merlin felt annoyed and very uncomfortable. First of all his hand hurt and he couldn't move it. Second, they were practically groping each other, while he was watching.

Merlin scanned the room. There was a candle lit on his dresser. Using magic, Merlin took the flame off the candle and floated it in the middle of the room. He bobbed it up and down and around them, but they didn't stop or notice. In a fit of annoyance Merlin made the flame flash white.

That got their attention. They stared at the flame transfixed, like they were in a trance. Merlin's hand throbbed painfully again. He bobbed the flame up and down, and side to side again, trying to get their attention. Neither Gwen or Arthur looked over at him, they stood just watching the fire floating the air. Merlin had an idea. He made the flame change form. A few seconds later, the words, 'Help me' floated in front of them.

Gwen flushed pink and she looked down at Merlin.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Merlin changed his message to 'Hand.'

Gwen picked it up and moved it back to his chest. It immediately stopped throbbing. Merlin relaxed back into the bed.

Merlin changed the flame to say 'Thanks.'

"You can still do magic, even in that state?" Arthur asked.

Merlin didn't write back with the flame. He made it change from red to white to yellow to blue to orange, and gave Arthur a look that he hoped said, 'Yes, you moron.'

Arthur apparently didn't take offense to Merlin's unspoken comment because instead of a rebuke, he answered in awe. "What else can you do?"

Merlin considered for a minute. Then he managed to make the flame morph into the vision of Arthur and Gwen kissing, in miniature flame. Then from the middle of them he conjured a beautiful flame rose that grew and grew until the Arthur and Gwen were gone, replaced by the flaming red-orange flower.

Arthur and Gwen stood again transfixed.

"That's beautiful," Gwen said, in awe.

"Can you do Gwen?" Arthur asked.

Merlin found his magic taxing in a way it had never been before. He wanted to go back to sleep. Instead of doing what Arthur asked, he changed the flower into the word 'Tired'

"Please, Merlin?" Arthur asked.

From his limited place lying down on the bed, Merlin could see the desire on Arthur's face. It was the first thing Arthur had ever requested him do with magic, at least knowingly. Considering what he was planning, it wouldn't hurt to be on Arthur's good side. Merlin focused on Gwen's face for a moment, and then he felt the magic leave him. It was a small picture of just Gwen's face, maybe the size of Merlin's hand, but it captured her perfectly.

"Hold it for a minute," Arthur said, and then he left the room in the rush.

He returned a few moments with a piece of parchment. He held up the paper to the fire. Merlin understood what he wanted. Merlin moved the fire so that it just touched the surface of the paper. Then he instantly brought it back. Gwen's face had been captured on the thick sheet. Arthur set it carefully on the table to cool.

"Thank you Merlin," Arthur said.

Merlin changed the flame once more to say 'potion' and then he picked up another bottle of the silvery antidote with his magic. He was glad the Isrith had made of twenty bottles of it. He floated it over to Gwen, who grabbed it from the air

"What's this for?" Gwen asked.

'Fever' Merlin wrote with his little fire.

"I thought your fever had broken," Gwen said.

She sat down next to him on the bed. Merlin felt her cool fingers on his forehead and then on the front of his chest.

"The fever's back?" Arthur asked.

Gwen nodded, "I thought it had broken, but I guess not."

Gwen took the small bottle, and opened it. She used one hand to help hold up Merlin's head and the other to help him drink it. Once again, the cool spilled through him like his insides were slowly freezing. But thankfully, the horrible pins and needles feeling wasn't there. This time, it just made him tired.

Merlin managed to say, "Thank you." before he fell again to sleep.

Merlin woke to Isrith shaking him. "It's now or never Merlin. I've set it all up. The men are waiting for you in Gaius's chambers."

Merlin wasn't exactly sure he could get up. But he did feel much better than the last time he had woken. He was weak, but everything seemed to work again. Merlin put his feet on the floor and sat up. That went fine, so with Isrith's help, he stood up. He wobbled precariously, but his cousin steadied him. She helped him get dressed in real clothes that his aunt Jeneil had prepared for him. They were clothes that merchants might wear. Heavy trousers, thick boots, a long tunic belted with leather, and then a long midnight blue cloak. She even provided riding gloves. The finishing touches were Merlin's bracelet and ring, his father's gifts.

Isrith helped Merlin down the steps to the main room. She packed up the rest of the silvery potion. The white potion, she asked him to change for Gaius and Hunith. Merlin did. It was strange. He had to find his magic. It was there but it seemed to be locked away. With some effort, it worked, but it was harder. When he did the magic, he could feel the sickness spell press in on him again.

Isrith passed Merlin's bags to one of the soldiers standing in the room. They were dressed similarly to Merlin.

Isrith told Merlin, "You'll be poising as traveling merchants. You have horses at an inn in the lower town. You'll pick up your horse and then ride just outside the city limits to stay at a farm who is an old servant of my fathers. It's all prepared; they are waiting for you. You'll be out of Camelot so you can leave at first light in the morning. My brother will meet you in a small village about halfway between here and my home. I have the letter you and I wrote a few days back. I'll have it delivered after they've figured you've gone."

Merlin nodded numbly, "Thanks Isrith."

She nodded back, "Figure it out Merlin, because if you don't, we're all dead."

He nodded and limped out of the room, leaning heavily on the men beside him.