A/N: ...You guys are just amazing! Thank you so much for getting me pass 300 reviews! I know it was a lot, but you guys did it anyways!

This chapter is longer than usual so it makes up for the time I haven't updated, is that okay? (:

"Nico, I'm really, really sorry, but I just don't...feel the same way."

Nico visibly flinched. I mentally cringed. No, no, no, no, no. This wasn't supposed to happen. I had a plan. A plan that didn't exist, but I could've made up a plan that would've fixed this whole mess, but I didn't have that damn plan.

"Nico, gods, I'm sorry. It's just—"

"It's okay," he quietly said. No, dammit, no. His voice was so full of hurt, so full of pain. Girls were supposed to be the ones who were heartbroken, but I was the one who was breaking his heart.

"Nico, I'm so, so sor—"

"You know what's the worst part in all of this?" he asked bitterly. He didn't wait for me to speak. "I thought there was a possibility, a slim chance of you feeling the same. I knew I couldn't have you, but there was that little part of me that imagined what it would be like if you were mine, and I was yours. It was stupid for me to think that that would ever happen.

"But I let myself dream. Every time you said, "I love you," I hoped and prayed that you meant it the way I did because dammit, Arabelle, I love you, but you don't love me, and it hurts like hell. All your little hugs and all your affections led me to believe that you could've possibly felt the same way about me like I do with you.

"But I guess we're just really good friends, aren't we, Arabelle? Friends who say, "I love you," to each other. Friends who hug every single fucking day. Friends who hold hands, who sneak out at night, who watch sunsets together, who have one day, every single damn week, where the whole world would just disappear, and it'd be just us. All of those shit we did because we were just friends.

"I can't fucking help who I chose to fall in love with. It's just my luck to fall in love with my best friend. As cliche as this is, I sort of knew that I would fall for you, but then all those books you read..." he chuckled without humor.

"You'd rant on and on, how these two characters were so perfect for each other, and that they would never find someone else. Well, does that shit apply to us? Huh, Arabelle?"

His eyes were the coldest I have ever seen. They weren't the warm brown eyes I was so used to. His eyes hardened at the sight of me like they were made of steel.

Dammit, why didn't I think of this sooner? I knew it was going to happen, but I kept praying and praying and praying that it wouldn't happen, yet; that I would have some more time to think of something.

Just like Natalie, I lost my best friend.

I lost my best friend...

I didn't know if it was possible, but I think I just heard the sound of my heart break.

You didn't hear how he sounded. Hurt and anger were laced in his voice, but you couldn't capture it on paper. He wasn't shouting, but there was no need.

"You don't understand..." It was no use; he already made up his mind, and if I knew the boy that loved me, I knew he was as stubborn as his father.

"Fuck this shit. Fuck love, but most importantly, fuck you, Arabelle."

There it was.

The finale line.

Ow.

"Shhhhh, it's okay, Arabelle. Things are going to get better." When did Natalie show up? How could I not feel her arms being wrapped around me? How could I not hear the whispers of everyone? The stares that were being pointed at me?

Ow.

"Arabelle, honey, I need you to cover your ears," Natalie told me.

I wasn't listening. Everything felt numb. Nothing made sense, anymore. I lost my best friend. You didn't know how broken I felt right, now.

Ow.

Dammit, I wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be strong and independent. I laughed at all those girls who cried because their boyfriends broke up with them or their crushes didn't feel the same.

Payback's a bitch.

I was too young to be in love. I was only a kid, a fourteen-year-old. What did I know about love? What did Nico know about love?

We weren't supposed to be talking about love for gods' sake! I was going to high school for ten months; Nico was staying here.

I wasn't supposed to be worrying about his until after I came back. I thought that if I stayed away, he wouldn't have time to tell me, but he did, and now it's too fucking late.

Something fell on my lap. I looked down and saw it was a small, wet spot on my jeans. I touched my fingertips to my face; I was crying.

I was crying for a boy.

I was crying for my best friend.

I was crying for myself because it was my fault.

This whole shit was my fault, and if I had told somebody my problem, I wouldn't feel so alone.

Something was covering my ears, but I didn't focus on it. I was too lost right now. Remember when I said Nico kept me balance? Now, everything was off, and I hated it.

I hated myself for being so dependent on him; a boy, to make it worse, but I knew that without a doubt, that I could never hate Nico.

He could say fuck you to me numerous times, but I still would never hate him. To the public eye, they wouldn't understand. They would ask, "Why would you still forgive him?" I already knew my answer.

"When you love someone, all their mistakes, all their wrongdoings, they don't matter, anymore. If you truly love someone, you'd look past their screw ups and love them for what they are now. It's when you would give them a million chances, and they would always deserve it. That's love, and that's why people do crazy stuff."

The pressure on my ears lessened. The silence was haunting; the fireworks had never ended this way.

I sniffled. I cursed myself for being so weak. I wasn't used to crying. I hardly ever cried and when I did, it was because I was reading a book. Nothing made my cry, and suddenly, Nico came into my life, and the next thing you knew, I was crying about him.

"Why am I crying?" I said out loud, not caring who heard me, anymore. "Why am I crying over some guy? I wasn't the one who was rejected, anyways. I was the one who broke his heart, but I'm the one who's crying, and I don't know why, and this shit is just fucked up because I'm not suppose to be this kind of girl. I never imagined myself to ever be crying over some guy so someone please explain to me why the fuck I'm crying."

"Sweetie," my sister said, "you have ever reason to cry." She was in front of me now, but I was too afraid to look at her. I was frozen in the exact same place, sitting on the damn picnic blanket, cross-legged.

"But I'm not supposed to cry about a guy," I argued. "Boys are stupid." My defense was weak. I knew that, Annabeth knew that, everybody knew that.

"You and I both know that not all boys are stupid." Without looking, I already knew Annabeth was staring at Percy, and he her.

They were so in love. Nothing could separate them. They were just so sure. Doubts were foreign to them, and I envied my sister for that.

"Where's everybody?" I reluctantly asked. I hardly cared about anything by this point; I didn't even know why I was asking.

"I told them to leave," Natalie said, a bit sheepish. "I know it's a dumb question, but are you okay?"

"It hurts," I confessed, "it hurts really bad, and I don't know why because I'm not the one whose heart got broken, but it fucking feels that way. I mean, I'm fucking crying for gods' sake, and I don't cry, but when he says fuck you and shit, it's like a stupid dam broke."

I fucking hated describing things. To me, it was just shit. No one would ever truly understand how you felt, and frankly, I didn't feel like fucking describing shit.

It hurts like hell because I lost someone who meant the whole world to me, and we weren't even in a damn relationship.

I broke his heart. How many times did I have to repeat this in my mind? From the looks that I was receiving, it's like he was the one who broke mine.

"Everything's going to be okay," Percy promised me.

"No, it isn't," I snapped. Stop fucking feeding me lies! I wanted to shout at them, but I couldn't because I knew they were only looking out for me. "I'm sorry," I apologized immediately.

"It's okay, Arabelle," Percy gently said.

I made an irritated and tired sound if that was even possible. "You guys don't get it," I quietly said.

"What? What don't we get?" Natalie asked. She was concerned and worried, and I hated when people worried about me.

"I have something to tell you guys, and I swear to gods, I haven't told a single soul about this. No one knows about it. I thought that if I told someone, they would judge me and call me a liar or a drama queen, and I just didn't want to deal with their bullshit."

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Annabeth looked at me concerned. They took it the wrong way, naturally.

"No, stop it," I said, frustrated, "I don't have a disease if that's what you're worried about. My well-being isn't endangered. I…" Dammit, why was this so hard? It was only three words. I doubted they would know the meaning of it, and I would have to explain, but it was only three words.

Okay. I could do this.

"I have philophobia."

A/N: Philophobia is a real phobia. Google it if you want. Arabelle really does have a phobia, and she feels like she's alone because of that.

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