"Why?!"
"I'm sorry, unni."
"Why Janie-ya, why?!" Jade was clutching onto Janie's shoulders as she cried and shook Janie who could only shake her head and apologize.
"I'm so sorry." Jade let out another cry of despair as the bridal workers hovered in the corner unsure of what to do. "Please forgive me unni, I loved him first."
The slap didn't surprise her but its ferocity did. Tears were still sprinkled across Jade's hardened face as Janie held her hand over her cheek. Pointing at the door Jade nodded towards it for fiercely. "Get out."
Janie didn't try to fight anymore, there was nothing to say. She felt, more than anything, like the devil she had tried so hard not to be. When she had met Jared she was sure that she couldn't hid the truth from Jade any longer. Even when she had seen how happy Jade was she couldn't help but feel that if that happiness was based on a lie, what good was it?
It had seemed like a great idea, until Jade slapped her and made her jaw ache. It was sore the rest of the night and she saw that her cheek was swollen when she checked the mirror before heading to school. At least no one mentioned it throughout the day. Everyone in their class knew about Janie and Jared's history and she suddenly suspected that they were giving her a wide berth in fear of being uninvited from the wedding.
She didn't mind. Class occurred, finished, and she went home. As she helped Su-wan preparing dinner she considered telling her what had happened. She would know that something occurred when she didn't leave for the wedding on Friday. Janie assumed she wasn't invited anymore, although she had heard nothing from anyone.
Still, nothing could have prepared her the knock on the door as they finished sitting down for dinner. Or for who was waiting on the other side.
"Anneyeong! You forgot your dress!" Jade was smiling happily as she held Janie's bridesmaid dress in one hand and a box of donuts in the other. Umma happily welcomed her inside and invited her to the table as May grabbed an extra plate from the kitchen.
It took all of Janie's control to remain neutral as Jade hugged her and took the seat next to her. Umma and May asked a million questions about the wedding, while the twins remained silent. They, more than anyone else aside from Janie, were disappointed in Jared marrying someone else. They loved Jared too and couldn't comprehend why he was suddenly marrying Jade, instead of her.
Janie was relieved when Umma sent them to their room and even more relieved when Jade said she needed to leave. She tried to keep close as she followed Jade into the hallway, making sure to shut the door behind her in case the conversation disintegrated.
"Jade, I,"
"You're my closest friend Janie-ya, did you know?" Jade had spun to face her on the landing and Janie froze at her words and sad smile. She had known that Jade didn't have many friends, but she had hoped there was at least someone else that Jade could count on. All Janie could do was shake her head.
"No, I didn't."
Jade shrugged, as if didn't matter at all. "You are, and I don't want to lose you. But I won't give up Jared. So let's not talk about this ever again. It didn't happen."
It wasn't fair, Janie wanted both. Her friendship with Jade and her relationship with Jared. But at this point, she could only have one. "Okay unni."
"Good, the car will you pick you up tomorrow." Jade pulled Janie into a long, genuine hug before finally releasing her and walking down the stairs. "Bye bye!"
Janie slammed the door and ignored the look from her mother as she walked into her room and collapsed in her bed. Thankfully, the dress wasn't there to loom over her. But she had to face it the next morning when she was packing her bag. There was no school, a convenient teacher's day had been schedule so none of the students had to worry about missing class to make it to the wedding.
The car arrived to pick her up at noon exactly with Gail and her bag already in the car. It was a five hour drive to the lakeside resort where the wedding was being held and they needed to ensure that they arrived in time for the rehearsal dinner that night. Janie tried her best to sleep in the car while Gail bobbed silently to the music in her headphones. Like a best friend, Gail knew that Janie didn't want to talk so she left her alone.
When they detoured off the main road Janie stared out the window at the changing scenery of naked trees as they drove through the woods and grew more remote and separate from the rest of the world. The forest spread slightly as they pulled up to the bustling two story resort set on the wide glistening lake, beautiful in the cold air. Janie knew, from talking with Jade, that the resort had its main hotel, banquet hall and chapel with large glass windows showing the backdrop of the lake and forest. In the summer, there were cabins scattered around the lake that families would rent, but they were mostly shut down in winter and wouldn't be open until spring.
As Janie stepped out of the car with Gail on her heels a pair of workers quickly approached them and took their bags. They were incredibly polite as they led them to their rooms past the other guests and bustling workers. Before they left they were sure to emphasis that there was only twenty minutes until the rehearsal dinner.
Gail and Janie's room were adjoining so Janie could hear Gail rushing around. That made sense, she probably wanted to squeeze in a shower and put a little makeup on before heading down. Janie didn't have to worry about any of that. Her hair was already half up and she had no intention of changing it. All she needed to do was slip into the teal dress that Jade had bought her, it had a turned down white collar like some old Victorian gown and a white belt that cinched in the flowing skirt. There were white flats to go with it and she put it all on before laying on the bed and waiting for Gail.
The scurrying about finally ended and Gail opened the door between their rooms and peeked to make sure Janie was decent.
"Ready?" Gail smiled shyly and entered Janie's room as she crawled off the bed. She was in a simple blue gown with a v-neck and had pulled her bright hair into a tight bun at the top of her head.
Janie tried to smile but settled for a nod. "Let's do this." Gail looped her arm through hers and they left together, walking through the halls and following the signs for the reception. By the time they followed the other guests to the right room Janie felt faint.
She couldn't do this. Everyone who knew this was big dumb lie was going to be in the same room. And they knew. There was no way that there was anyone here who thought that Jared and Jade were legitimately in love. But when they entered the room, directed by a polite waiter, everyone was simply smiling and laughing. Acting as if this was just any other wedding.
They were seated at a table near the front of the large room and she was surprised to find Ian, Benny and Jackson at the table. It was a table meant for six but one seat remained unoccupied as Janie and Gail sat down. Gail took a few seconds to decide. Janie took the seat to the right of Benny, who had Jackson on his other side and Ian next to him. Gail had the choice of sitting next to Ian or next Janie, in the end she chose Janie as Benny leaned in to whisper to Janie.
"Rumor has it Jade invited Eve to the reception and to bring the cake early but she adamantly refused. I think we're the only table with an empty seat."
Janie wondered how Benny had come across such a rumor but decided to let it go as she glanced around the room. It was true, all the tables were quickly filling up and there were no seats unaccounted for. In the center of the room, at the main table, Jade was laughing next to a stoic Jared as Octavia engaged Jade's mother and father and who she could only assume was Jade's grandfather in lively conversation.
Reluctantly Janie returned her gaze to the table as the waiters deposited salads. She stole a glance at Jackson but he remained distant as he ate. They all were. There may have been pleasant chatter throughout the room but not at their table. They knew too much.
After the main course was served and cleared Gail took her hand suddenly. "Let's go." Janie nodded in surprise and stood, nodding at the table as Benny winked coyly and Ian looked like he wanted to join them. They left unhindered and were stepping back into the hall just as Octavia's voice began to echo through the room.
Together they wandered through the halls in silence until they found a large sunroom and sat on white wicker chairs with plush cushions surrounded by the potted foliage in the room and the shaking trees outside.
It was really beautiful, of course Gail was naturally drawn to such a peaceful spot.
"Janie, what's going on?" She had purposely been keeping her eyes off Gail, she felt such guilt for not speaking more honestly with her before. But now was not the time for all the truth.
"A lot but I'd rather not say. Things have happened and I may not be okay right now, or tomorrow, or event he day after. But I will be eventually and everything is going to be fine."
Gail was squinting at her in concern, hands stiff at her side. This was a rare Gail. "But something did happen with Jared."
"Why do you say that?"
She tilted her head slightly, as if it was incredibly obvious. "Because he didn't look at you once all night, Janie."
She gasped, just barely. Busted. "You're right, of course you're right."
"But we're going to keep going as if nothings wrong."
"Yes."
"You're sure?"
Janie nodded sharply. "Yeah, there's nothing else to do."
Gail looked as if she wanted to say something more but instead she smiled. "Okay. Gosh, isn't it beautiful here. Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't want to leave."
Janie reclined in the chair and looked around the room. "Neither would I."
Jade practically crashed into the bar, startling the poor bartender standing at attention. "Barkeep, are you someone who can be bribed?" He looked around first before shaking his head. "Are you sure?"
"Yes miss. Can I see some ID?"
"No, it's disappointing. Coke please." The bartender looked relieved as he grabbed the glass and nozzle. Once she had the coke she took a sip and then put it back down in disgust. She wanted alcohol, lots of alcohol. Sake and rum and vodka. Even whiskey. But this was America, she may have been 20 and at a drinking age in Japan, but not in the USA. Damn the USA.
"You seem angry, for a bride." Jackson pulled out the stool next to her and sat on the edge as Jade took another long sip.
"Future husband's friend, your country needs to loosen up about drinking. I really wish this was sake." He nodded solemnly, but offered no further commentary on her suggestion. "You're the silent type, aren't you?" Still nothing. "Bingo."
He shrugged. "Why do you want a drink?"
"Ah, don't ask that." She swatted her hand in front of her face and tried to laugh it off. But Jackson simply watched her. He could see the lie and she could feel it under her skin. And in the corner, away from the guests who had drifted out of the area, the words spilled out like a flood. "I saw them kissing, Janie and Jared. It was her on New Year's. My closest friend and the man I love. Don't you love Janie? Wouldn't you drink?"
In her selfishness, she hadn't realized that not only was she revealing her future husband kissing her friend, but Jackson's girlfriend kissing his friend. She felt bad but he seemed unphased. "I suppose it's only fair to share that Janie and I aren't dating, but I do love her."
"Chikusho. You need a drink too."
Jackson smiled briefly but pressed on. "Why do you want to marry Jared?"
"Why, jealous?"
"No, curious." That was worse. "It wasn't just a kiss, they dated. They love each other, more than two people our age should. Why hurt them both?"
The glass was in her hand, she wanted to crush it but she laughed instead. "I hoped it wasn't like that. I hoped it was a mistake. That's worse."
"I talked to Jared last night, he said Janie told him on New Year's that she wouldn't be the other woman. But it's not her, Jade."
She felt like a grape being peeled, delicately and calmly but inevitably her skin was coming off. "I just wanted something that was mine. Something meant just for me."
"We can't always get what we want."
"But you love her."
"Yes."
"How did you let her go?"
He looked down and slipped out of the chair in one fluid motion before looking at her apologetically. As if he needed to apologize. "I wanted her to be happy. You need to figure out what you want."
He must have meant that to be the end of speech, he must have said all he wished to as he began to turn and go. But still, she called at him once more. "Ya, you're not silent at all!"
Jackson was smiling as he favored her with one more look. "Not anymore."
It was late but Jared wasn't tired. He had been pacing his room for hours, trying to calm down with every step but only feeling more and more worked up. He tried to reassure himself, but there was no comfort. I'm marrying Jade tomorrow, I'm marrying Jade tomorrow, I'm marrying Jade tomorrow.
It didn't work. He knew that it was true, he was fully resigned. He'd said good bye to Janie and she had been right, she wasn't the type to be the other woman. And he wouldn't want that for her. And Jared knew that his mother would reign fire down upon him if he tried to ruin the marriage, especially now. Even worse, the business agreement with Jade's father would fall through as well. His mother could try to hide it as much as she wanted, but there company needed support. They weren't in trouble, yet. But it was coming. His mother could sense it like a shark sensing blood in the water. This was the surest way to ensure the company's survival. If he ruined it now, he wouldn't just be dooming himself, he'd be dooming them all.
The buzz of his phone startled him, his heart leapt in his chest as he crossed the room to the short dresser where his phone was charging.
Meet me in the chapel.
It was from Jade, he didn't bother putting shoes on. He simply walked through the quiet halls in his gray socks, pajama bottoms and white sleep shirt. He wasn't sure what he expected but his heart was still pounding as he reached the small chapel. It was a pleasant size with a gorgeous view of the lake through large glass windows past the alter. During the day it was beautiful, at night it was haunting.
He didn't see Jade at first, the dim lights and black back drop disguised the front of the room in shadow. It wasn't until her head turned that he saw her sitting in the front pew, wrapped in a black shawl. As he approached she slid over and he took the seat next to her quietly.
"Excited?" She smiled heartily but he didn't answer. "Or no? We'll be husband and wife tomorrow, let's tell the truth tonight."
"All right."
"Are you excited?"
"No."
"So cruel." It was teasing, but sad. Still, now that the truth was being spoken, now that it had already slipped out he couldn't stop himself.
"I don't want to do this."
She sighed and ruffled her short hair with the hand not clutching her shawl. "Well it's already decided, and not by me."
He shook his head. "Honestly Jade, do you think this is right? Do you really want to do this?"
"I do. I want to marry you."
"Why?" She didn't make any sense, but she was still smiling.
"You're going to be a good man someday. Who wouldn't want that for their future husband?"
She was smiling so kindly at him, but someone else's smile burned brighter. "Only one other person has called me a good man with such certainty."
The smiled cracked. "I bet I know who." Jade stood suddenly but he grabbed her arm.
"You know."
"I do. I don't care what kind of person you think I am, but I know everything, Jared Pullman."
He was trying to warp his mind around how she could have possibly found out, he'd been so careful. But then she slipped his grip and was leaving back down the aisle. "Jade, I'm sorry. I don't hate you but I don't love you and I know I never will. Maybe in a different life, a different place it could have been another story."
"No, I don't think so. This is an old story, a cliché even. The rich man is betrothed to a beautiful and eligible woman of standing but instead loves a nameless girl he can't have. It's happened before, it happens all the time. And do you know who I am in the story." Her back was to him, but she turned so slightly that he could see the smile crinkling the side of her cheek. "I'm the villain. I'll see you tomorrow future husband."
The door swung shut but he remained in the dark, speaking only to himself. "No Jade, the villain in this is surely someone else."
Janie spun in front of the mirror, tugging at the dress as it twirled and rested against her thighs. It was a beautiful dress, although peach wasn't necessarily a flattering color on her. Still the empire cut and long folds falling to the floor were a nice silhouette.
The adjoining door opened and Gail entered the room anxiously, biting her lip in concern. "Oh Gail." She covered her face and Janie couldn't help but laugh. Even Gail did, although she still looked distressed. Janie had known that Gail had been dreading trying on the dress. Peach wasn't Gail's color, it didn't match the red of her hair and Gail had been avoiding it for years, until now.
"It's terrible!"
"Well, everyone supposed to be looking at Jade anyway. You look fine Gail, beautiful even."
Gail tucked away a few stray hairs guiltily. "I'm sorry, this isn't about me. And you,"
"Will have a great time. Let's go." They had been informed that they needed to meet Jade in the bridal area to get their hair and makeup down. It was 2:30 already, two hours until the ceremony would start. When they arrived the room was buzzing with activity and Jade immediately began exclaiming about how beautiful they looked as she lounged in a white robe. A pair of stylists drew them into a pair of chairs and covered them in smocks to protect their dresses as they quickly styled their hair.
Janie's was easy. Her hair was still short and hard to curl, which she quickly explained, so the stylist settled on a small, twisted bun. Gail sat patiently as her stylist parted her hair dramatically to the side before sweeping it back into a sleek sort of bun that the stylist called a chignon. It sat low on her head but looked neat and elegant, especially after they tucked a few peach colored flowers into it.
There wasn't much time before the ceremony began when Jade slipped into a side room to put on her dress. The stylists, along with Janie and Gail, waited for her but it wasn't Jade who emerged from the side, but her assistant.
"Jade would like everyone to leave, Gail she said you should head to the chapel." Janie stood with Gail but the assistant quickly stopped her as the women filed from the room. "She wanted you to stay miss, if you would."
Janie nodded and sat back down as the woman bustled out of the room and left her alone with the creak of the door opening again and Jade finally entering in her gown.
She was smiling so brightly as the she crossed the room at bouncing jog to face the mirror in the corner. She let out a light sound of excitement as Janie stood to join her in the corner.
"You look beautiful Jade, really lovely."
Jade nodded before letting out a long sigh. "I've decided you're not coming to the ceremony."
"What?" Jade turned around to face her calmly, with no malice or anger on her face. "Did I do something?"
"No, I did," Like lightning, Jade cracked in a flash and began to cry as Janie quickly grabbed her arms to brace her. "I stole the man you love and I didn't even know. I thought that you had tried to steal him from me but it wasn't you. It was me. I'm the thief."
"Unni," Janie let Jade fall into her as she body heaved with sobs and all she could do was hold her.
"I'm sorry Janie-ya, I'm taking away the man you love."
As true as it was, Janie didn't have the heart to affirm her statement. "It's all right, unni, it's okay."
"Do you hate me?" Jade wiped away her tears, and tried to hold her body still as Janie let her step back but kept her arms on her bare shoulders. The tears had already ruined the makeup and left streaks down her red cheeks but she was steady. Ready for the worst, ready for hatred. In all the months that Janie's world had been crashing since Jade arrived to marry Jared she hadn't been sure how she felt. It wasn't jealousy, or hatred. She should have felt those things now more than ever as Jade stood willing to accept them. She was okay with it.
But Janie wasn't. "No. You're my friend Jade, no matter what happens you'll always be my friend."
"Thank you, Janie-ya." Jade stepped out of Janie's reach and walked across the room, wiping at her face again as she sat in front of mirror and make up. "There's a cabin by the lake, I had them open it for you. I think you should go now."
The tie was constricting, the belt cut into his waist and his head ached. They hadn't even begun and he already felt sick. Jared tried to ignore these things as he stood by the priest with Jackson at his side holding the rings, followed by Ian and Benny. No one had complained that the bridal parties weren't even and Jared was grateful, at least he had them.
The music began softly, the tickle of violins drifting through the small chapel as the guests shuffled in unison to face the entrance. It was a small procession, one flower girl led the way and she must have been some relative of Jade's because she was her spitting image. Short and spry in a puffy white dress with dark hair in matching pigtails. Jade and Jared's parents were already seated in the front row, Jade's father had declined the American tradition of walking the bride down the aisle. There was a small breath in the row, space for Helen who had declined to the end to attend, and some intermixed relatives who made no difference. The little girl blushed as she reached the end of the aisle and quickly ducked to the side to sit with her smiling mother.
Gail was next, all red and blushing. Jared saw the smirk on Ian's face, or maybe he simply knew it was there even if he couldn't see it. He tried to stand a little straighter as she marched down the aisle, ready to show Janie that he was going to be the man she knew he was, even if he would have given anything to change there fate. He was ready to marry Jade, there was no choice. And even though some part of him dreaded it, another part was glad that he could watch Janie walk down an aisle in a chapel at least once.
But she didn't come. After Gail stepped to the other side of the priest there was only Jade, practically skipping down the aisle as the music sped up to match her eager pace. She was all smiles and he could feel the grimness in his face. He hoped it passed for nerves, and not dread.
In no time at all she was standing at his side and together they faced the priest. Some voice in the back of his mind whispered, where's Janie? but it didn't matter. Not now.
The priest began to drone and Jared didn't even bother to listen, even if he had been a religious man, this union was surely not blessed by any deity. But when they reached the part, "If anyone feels these two should not be wed in holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace," he held his breath.
There was silence, which he expected, and then a few gasps. He didn't understand it until he turned his head and saw Jade's hand raised in the air. And she didn't look like Jade anymore. Her face wasn't plastered with a smile. Instead, she looked frail and sad as she turned, arm still raised, to face the congregation.
"Um, I've decided that I don't want to get married."
There was another collective gasp as Jade's father said a few Japanese words quite harshly. She simply held up a tired hand and waved him off. "I'm saying this because I changed my mind otosama. I'm so young, I don't want to be married. Besides," she smiled at Jared whose heart was pounding, "I don't think he's such a good man after all."
More murmurs erupted and Jared looked to his mother who sat with eyes cold as stone while Jade's father stood and shook his finger at Jade still speaking furiously in unknown words. He heard his name in the mix.
"Mr. Irie," The business man looked at Jared briefly before continuing his harsh words at Jade.
Suddenly, she threw her arm in front of him, as if to protect him. "Ie, otosama, this is not his fault. He would have said yes, but I'm saying no. I don't want to get married. I just want to go home." Her father glowered at the pair of them as Octavia sat in silence.
Even Jackson, Benny and Ian remained silent as he felt a hand on his arm. Jade was smiling sadly at him. She pulled him down towards her and moved as if to kiss his cheek, but instead she whispered in his ear.
"Good bye Jared," There was a flutter in his pocket but he didn't look as she pulled back. Instead he exited the chapel at the nodding of her head and the protest of Benny crying after him. The guests were really starting to stir as he moved through the hall. It wasn't until he was far from the chapel that he looked at the small slip of paper in his breast pocket.
She's in a cabin by the lake. Tell her once more that I'm sorry, to both of you. Sayonara.
He wasn't sure how he found the door outside, all he knew was that the tie was no longer constricting, it was his flag of freedom billowing behind him. His belt wasn't cutting, it was saving him from tripping as his legs pounded relentlessly upon the hard, cold earth of the lake path.
He counted the cabin's he passed, all dark and empty. He wasn't sure how many there were. But just as he passed number 11 he saw motion in the distance. His breath was so ragged then but his aching feet were carrying him off the lake path and towards the clearing of a small cabin set back in the tree line.
Through the trees, he saw the flash of peach and as he got a straight view and saw her. Sad and lonely sitting in a rocking chair with a blanket wrapped around her shoulder and her feet bare on the wood porch despite the cold.
The rocking stopped as she looked up, eyes wide with confusion and possibly hope. He came to a stop and she slowly stood up, mouth moving but not forming words.
He spoke instead. "She ended it, called the wedding off and she's taking the blame. It's over."
"Really?" It was more gasp of disbelief then word but he nodded encouragingly.
"Janie, I know," He had a speech, one he had tucked away for months as he ached to see her. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, how he missed her. How every time it felt like too much, like he couldn't possibly keep working and going to school and obeying his mother he thought of her. Her smile and hair and punch. How she would scold him. How she would comfort him if she could.
But he didn't get to say any of that. As soon as he nodded she stumbled from the porch and ran barefoot towards him, unaware of the rocks and branches underfoot or the blanket crumpled on the ground. Still Jared tried to speak, to set the words free but then her hands were on his face as she pulled his mouth to hers and all he could do was pull her close.
Then there was silence and the steady beat of two hearts reuniting, which wasn't very steady at all.
Jade slammed her palm on the counter. "Ya, hit me!" The bartender shuffled uncomfortably again as he poured another shot of sake into Jade's waiting glass. "Arigato!" He hadn't poured it properly, of course. But she wasn't drinking it properly either. Instead of taking the slow, polite slips she threw her head back and swallowed it in one gulp.
The music changed around her, from the upbeat dance to a slower song. It made her want to scream but instead she hit the counter again to bartender's dismay.
"Is it your birthday?" the cup was at her lips and she held it there as she turned towards Jackson who slide gently into the high stool next to her.
She cocked her head and took a slow proper sip. "No?"
"Then how can you drink today?"
"Ah," she took another sip and put the small cup down. "Because I need it today. And this bartender could be bribed after all!" The young man couldn't hide his discomfort as he turned away but she didn't care. At least her father had finished doing that before leaving hastily after the failed service. Jared's mother had left too. The only ones who remained were the guests who Jade had insisted celebrate, despite the lack of anything worth celebrating.
"You did the right thing."
"It still hurts. But like you said, I figured out what I wanted. Boys will come and go but girl friends are forever." She finished the cup of sake as Jackson nodded. "Why do we love people who won't love us back?"
He shrugged. "Because it's love."
"It's tiring."
"That's definitely love," She raised an eyebrow questioningly and he smiled. "Because it doesn't make any sense."
Jade laughed and slammed her palm on the counter. "Bartender, a drink for my friend!"
"Jade no-"
"Ya, I just left myself at the altar, drink with me." She pushed the drink on him and soon enough he joined her and added to the bartender's misery. Jade didn't return to the dance floor and neither did Jackson. They spent the night drinking with Jade laughing like herself again and Jackson enjoying himself in a strange way he wasn't familiar with.
The next morning he would find a text from a newly added contact, complete with a smiling face. Thanks for the drink! Come visit me in Japan and I'll show you how it's really done." And when he found it, somehow, despite himself, he would smile.
It was already getting late as Ian circled the dance floor watching the final dancers still jumping with enthusiasm to the blasting music. In the corner, he saw the remnants of the wedding cake and Eve standing guard next to it scowling as Benny laughed about something in her ear. She may have started to smirk too.
As he approached the exit he looked back for one final glimpse of the bar where Jade was pushing another drink into Jackson's hand. It was a strange night.
There were more guests in the hallway but he veered away from them heading towards the sunroom he had seen the day before. As he reached the glass doors he paused and peered in. Sure enough, there she was.
Far from the noise, far from the madness, Gail was reclining on the wicker couch. Feet kicked free from her heels and on the cushions with her knees drawn up. In one hand she balanced a drink against the cushion. The other was draped across the back of the chair. And her head was gently resting back, eyes shut and completely at ease.
He took it in a moment before joining her. "Fun night sweetheart?" Her eyes flashed open as she sat up, swinging her feet to the ground lifting the glass to her chest. "Sorry for interrupting."
She shook her head and slide over as he took the seat next to her. "It's all right, I was just taking a break."
"Overwhelmed?"
"Relieved." She smiled at him. "It's over, Janie and Jared can finally be together."
He nodded. "It seems that way, love is in the air tonight." Gail simply stared at him, mulling over his words. "Do you know how long it's been since we talked? Just you and me?" She shook her head. "Too long. I almost hoped I would run into by accident someday, like the day I found you crying on that stoop."
"Oh no," She blushed and reached up to cover her cheeks but he quickly grabbed her hand.
"No don't, please. Being apart gave me the chance to think a bit. Remember on the beach when we were talking about love and you thought it would be worth it to experience love even if you got hurt? I didn't agree and the truth is it's because of my parents. I live alone, obviously, but it's because I couldn't bear to be with either of them. After their divorce, well, neither of them were much of a treat so I convinced them to let me live alone. They thought I was mature enough being such a talented artist. And after seeing what they went through I decided that loving someone only meant that you would get hurt eventually, and I didn't want that. So I kept my distance only letting girls get so close, you know that. I was really good at that, until now." Ian had made sure to keep his gaze down on his hand wrapped around hers but now he looked at her. At her eyes trained on him and head pulled back as if to keep her breath from escaping. "You'd think watching what Janie and Jared went through I'd be even more adverse but I'm not. I realized I want that and maybe I can have it with you." She gasped softly and he wasn't sure what else he was expecting but it made him smile. "Gail, I think I may have fallen for you."
She took a deep breath, a smile dancing at the corner of her lips, but then she stopped. "So close."
"What?" He didn't understand what she was saying but she continued.
"Ian, how do you feel about marriage?" He laughed, he couldn't help it and she almost grinned while he regained control.
"I think you skipped a few steps."
She shook her head, still hiding a smile. "No, what's your opinion on marriage for yourself. I think I know but, what do you think about getting married someday."
"I'm never getting married."
"I see."
Ian felt himself draw back, something was going wrong. "What does that have to do with-"
"I want to get married." The words tumbled out as she blushed and he laughed again.
"Really, you're skipping a few steps."
"No Ian, you're not listening. You don't want to marry I do." He shrugged. "We can't date."
He let her hand go and she slowly drew it back. "So, just so I understand this, you don't want to date because even if we do I'll never want to marry you?" Gail nodded sadly. "Just because two people aren't married doesn't mean they aren't in love. People can live together their entire lives, have kids and just never marry."
"But it means something special, to me. And not in some fairy tale way. Committing your whole self to someone no matter what, believing that you can truly make it through years of change and who knows what. It's different."
"I want to date you, can't that be enough? Maybe it will only last a week or a month or 10 years but Gail, I want to be with you."
She bit her lip and shook her head. "I know, and you know that I feel the same but if you think I can compromise and simply put marriage out of my mind you don't know me even a bit."
"Stop saying that, it always comes back to that," He stood, trying not to let anger take hold as he paced and then stopped to throw his arms wide at his sides. "I'll do anything else if you'll give me that chance. I'll buy you as many white dresses as you want."
"I told you, it's more than that. It's wearing one down an aisle in a church before God and all that means. Even Jade who wasn't planning on going through with the wedding wanted to feel what it was like put on a white gown and walk down the aisle."
He didn't know what else to say. She stood up and stepped in front of him, drink left behind on the floor. "I'm sorry Ian, you're right. I should stop saying that you don't know me. Honestly, I know you do and that just makes it worse."
"I want to date you Gail." He didn't know why he said it again but it changed something. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped. He didn't. "Gail, I don't think I can live without knowing more of you."
"I want you to, but you're love will only go so far and I can't stop at the end of your line."
"Fuck."
"Yeah." She stepped past him, feet padding softly on the floor beneath her feet.
"Maybe I could," He didn't turn, his back was still to her and he could her reflection in the glass. She had paused, but not turned to face him. "Maybe if I got the chance to grow I could become a marrying man because if I were, you're definitely the type of girl that I would like to marry."
"Okay."
"Don't count me out yet Gail."
Her back twitched, as if her body screamed turned but her mind still yelled caution. "I never do Ian. Good night."
When he couldn't hear her footsteps anymore and he turned and sure enough she was no longer in sight. And he smiled as he sat down on the couch she'd left behind. Because good night was a pause, and not a final good bye.
Everything was going to work out fine. He just knew it.
Author's note: Wow you guys! Seriously you left some of the nicest reviews ever on the last chapter. I can't thank you enough! The end draws ever near and I simply can't say enough about all the kind words and support. You're awesome. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon with new drama!
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