As the morning glare broke through the curtains Danielle held off the yawns, instead focussing her attention on Amy who was bouncing happily on her knee. Danielle couldn't understand how Amy was so lively so early in the morning, especially after a restless night of screaming that had kept the whole of the Vic awake.
Once the clock had hit 7am, Amy's screams once again piercing through the thin walls, Danielle had given in. She had wiped on a dressing gown and gone to check on her young niece. Careful not to wake Roxy Danielle lifted Amy from her crib. She glanced over at Roxy who was tossing and turning, clearly trying to sleep through the endless crying of her daughter. But Danielle was sure she could see something else playing on Roxy's mind, even in sleep she seemed agitated and restless, muttering a string of words together that made little sense to Danielle. Keen for Roxy to even get a couple of hours peaceful sleep Danielle left with Amy in her arms.
"You love the attention don't you, that's the only reason you cry isn't it? You like being the centre of attention. You're going to grow up and be a little actress." Danielle beamed at Amy. As Danielle spoke softly to her niece Roxy entered the lounge, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she struggled with the bright morning sun.
"Yes you are, a little actress, then you can be in films and impress your mummy." Danielle continued, unaware of Roxy's presence. "What are turn out like one of those messed up stars? I don't think so." Roxy joked, making Danielle jump slightly as Roxy bent over the back of the sofa, greeting her niece and daughter with a warm smile.
"Aww you wouldn't do anything silly would you Amy? No. You'd be great and you could bring home lots of actor men for mummy." Danielle joked, playfully poking Amy's nose. "Now, that is a plan I can get on board with!" Roxy beamed, now happily laughing with Danielle. With a smile on her face and sparkle in her eyes Amy joined in, letting out a small giggle that left Danielle and Roxy speechless.
"Did she just laugh?" Danielle asked, still a bit unsure on the brief sound Amy had just made. "Yeah I think she did, her first little giggle" Roxy said proudly. An excited Roxy moved round to perch on the arm of the sofa, cooing over Amy before sliding herself to squash in the tiny space between Danielle and the arm of the sofa.
Bunched tightly together Roxy couldn't help but fuss over Amy who was nestled in Danielle's arms. Both women were engrossed in the young Mitchell, desperate to hear the sweet little giggle again. "How about me and you have a girlie day today, we could head to the park and get ice-creams?" Roxy asked spontaneously, hoping to get some time alone to talk to Danielle. The conversation with Ronnie was still playing on her mind and was keen to try and get Danielle to open up about her mother.
Even though Ronnie had sounded extremely annoyed and reluctant to return on the phone Roxy realised that the abrupt end to their conversation left things up in the air, she didn't know whether Ronnie was considering returning and the last thing anyone needed was for Ronnie to turn up in Walford unannounced.
"I don't know Rox" Danielle replied hesitantly. "Come on Dan, I can get Peggy to baby-sit Amy and you never know, I might even treat you to a flake with your ice-cream" Roxy said jokily, hoping that her cheeky grin was reassurance enough. "Ok then, you've twisted my arm" Danielle responded after a moment's hesitation. "Great, I will go and get changed, let Peggy know and then we can head off" Roxy said, bounding out of the room happily. Although she was nervous about the prospect of going outside and facing the locals, she felt calmer knowing Roxy was going to be by her side.
The spring breeze glanced her cheek as the doors of the Vic flew open, revealing the streets of Albert Square. Taking one step at a time down the market, Danielle had never imagined such a simple task could be so hard. She held Roxy's hand tightly; each step made her heart beat faster as they moved further and further away from the place Danielle now called home.
As they walked she tried to convince herself she was being ridiculous. She had gone outside before, she had faced the locals before but now it seemed different, the prospect even more frightening. When she had gone shopping down Oxford Street with Roxy the strangers passing in the street didn't know her, they didn't know what secrets were weighing down. She could drift into the crowd and no one knew she was Danielle Jones.
When she ventured downstairs for drinks with Stacey and Roxy, even though she had felt more confident than she had in weeks, the security of running upstairs away from the possibility of the whispers and glares always sat above her head. Through all these situations the only constant was Roxy; she was always by her side. Danielle couldn't imagine life in Walford, life anywhere without her now.
"You hold my hand any tighter and it will drop off" Roxy joked as they made their way through the morning crowds. "Sorry" Danielle muttered, loosening her grip but still keeping contact. "You know no one is whispering Dan, things have moved on. Apparently Bianca and Ricky had a massive fight in the café yesterday, food flying everywhere" Roxy joked, a cheeky grin on her face as she enjoyed telling Danielle about the comical miss-fortune of others. "Oi Roxy, wait up!" A familiar voice called, both women turned to see Christian jogging towards them, wearing a pair of shorts quite obviously a size too small and a sweaty tank top. "Hey babe, I haven't seen you in ages" He said, leaning into hug Roxy before she pulled a funny face and leaned away from the approach of his sweaty chest.
"Yeah sorry I have had a lot on" Roxy tried to say subtly, hoping that Danielle didn't feel uncomfortable. She wanted to tell Christian the truth, sometimes she felt like shouting out the truth from the rooftops but she didn't want to upset Danielle, they were making progress and one wrong move could push her over the edge. "Hey babe" Christian said warmly, smiling to acknowledge Danielle's presence.
"So spill, what happened yesterday with Bianca and Ricky?" Roxy asked eagerly. "Well I am not really sure, I got back from the wholesalers with Ian and the next thing I know a bacon sandwich is flying past my head. Bianca was on a right rant though, worse than normal. She's got a face like thunder this morning, in a foul mood. Ian isn't much better" Christian said, smiling and laughing as he re-told the story.
"Well I better be off, this six-pack doesn't come cheap" Christian said, winking cheekily as he lifted up the bottom of his tank top. "Bye ladies" He called as he jogged off, leaving Danielle and Roxy to gossip further on their way to the park.
"Chocolate or strawberry? No wait let me guess" Roxy said quickly, not giving Danielle a chance to speak, instead she laughed as Roxy pulled a range of funny expressions. "Straw…" Roxy hesitated, watching as Danielle began to slowly shake her head. "Chocolate, I knew it!" Roxy shouted happily, "My favourite too" And Ronnie's, she thought.
Roxy eventually turned to face the gentleman standing, ready to serve. "You finally decided miss?" He said sarcastically. "Two chocolate ice creams with two flakes please" Roxy replied, handing over the coins. "A smile wouldn't go a miss either" Roxy returned with her own sarcastic comment, walking away with Danielle as the man grunted loudly.
"Thanks for taking Amy this morning, little madam kept me up all night" Roxy rolled her eyes as she took another bite of her chocolate flake, struggling to catch the crumbs of flake that dropped into her lap. "Me too" Danielle replied, giggling as she watched Roxy try to keep her balance on the bench whilst trying to catch the bits of flake in her mouth.
"Sorry about that, she has got a set of lungs on her that girl. I just can't imagine where from" Roxy said jokingly, joining in with Danielle as the pair laughed together loudly. "But seriously Dan, you don't mind living in the Vic do you? I know with Amy crying, Phil's shouting and not to mention Aunty Peggy's nagging. It can get a bit much sometime" Roxy said.
She enjoyed laughing and joking with Danielle, seeing the smile spread across her niece's face reminded Roxy of why she was doing what she was doing but she also knew her family. A family lunch could be stressful, so living in a cramped flat together could drive anyone mad.
"Its fine, I really like it actually. Makes me feel like a proper Mitchell" Danielle beamed as she licked her ice-cream. "And Phil is not that bad, I have learnt to ignore him when he shouts" She joked. "What was he like as a kid?" Danielle asked. Roxy was slightly taken aback by Danielle asking about Phil, she understood that Danielle would be interested in her family's history so Roxy tried to remember what she could. "Well he was kind of like he is now, except not bald obviously" Roxy added, making Danielle laugh.
"Him and his brother, Grant used to be a right pair. Me and Ronnie would come round and visit and they would always be fighting about something; who got to play with toy or when they were older they would be fighting over some girl from school. I never understood why they fought over the same girl" Roxy commented, not realising what she had said till she caught a glimpse of Danielle's raised eyebrows and sarcastic expression. "It's not that same, it's complicated with me and Ronnie" Roxy realised, as she said her sister's name for the second time in a matter of minutes, Danielle hadn't tensed up or changed the conversation. "Do you mind me talking about her?" Roxy asked nervously, not wanting to make Danielle feel uncomfortable.
"I just want to get to know my family, I want to get to know you" Danielle said firmly, playfully nudging Roxy's shoulder. Roxy noticed the extra emphasis Danielle had put on the word you, she may have wanted to get to know her family but with Ronnie not around, Roxy wondered whether Danielle's vision of her family included Ronnie.
"Well it's always been complicated between me and Ronnie. She has always been there for me, through everything and when our mother left she looked out for me. She was more like a mum than a big sister" Roxy said, the words rolling off her tongue. Whilst she wanted to heap praise on Ronnie, paint the picture of a perfect sister who loved and cared for her unconditionally, she knew she had to tread carefully around Danielle.
Danielle tensed up, Roxy words striking her like a punch to the stomach. Ronnie choose to mother her sister instead of her but at the same time she was strangely comforted by the idea that Ronnie could care and love for someone else, feelings she had longed to see for herself from Ronnie. Roxy immediately noticed Danielle beginning to coil away, the warning signs that she had learnt to recognise over recent weeks.
"I never meant to hurt her with Jack, things just spiralled out of control and it kills me when I see that look in her eyes, when she is looking at me, at Amy. It's the look that's says she will never quite forget or forgive me for what I did" Roxy didn't know why she had started rambling on about her and Jack but she still carried round the guilt with her. Danielle had been through enough and if she wanted to know about her family, then she deserved to know the truth, however hurtful and confusing it might be.
"Why did you do it Rox, why did you sleep with Jack?" Danielle asked. She wasn't sure why she was asking or even if she wanted to know the answer but she desperately wanted to try and understand. She had heard the rumours and the gossip from Stacey and Mo but she wanted to hear the truth, the truth about her family.
"I can't explain. I have spent months trying to explain; to Ronnie, to Christian, to everyone but I don't want to make excuses for what I did. I made the biggest mistake of my life but I wouldn't change what happened for the world, because now I have Amy" Roxy beamed happily, sighing heavily as she finished speaking. She hadn't planned to open up to Danielle but she felt at ease with her niece.
"You must have fought with Gareth though?" Roxy asked, changing the subject in the hope Danielle would open up. "You remembered his name" Danielle muttered, slightly surprised. "Yeah of course I did babe, you spoke about him once and he seemed really important to you" Roxy replied, not thinking anything of it. Danielle smiled warmly at Roxy in reply, it may have been something trivial but she was touched that Roxy had recognised how important he was too her.
"Well yeah we fought quite a lot, just stupid brother and sister stuff. He could get really bossy sometimes, start ordering me about but underneath it all he was, still is, a big softy. He was always very protective over me, especially after mum died" Danielle muttered the last few words, the pain of mentioning Lizzie's death made her struggle with her speech.
"What was she like?" Roxy asked nervously, yet again her mouth had moved before she had a chance to think about what she had said. She could see the flash of pain in her eyes yet Danielle began to talk slowly. "She was perfect. Caring, warm. She loved me and Gareth more than anything in the world but I know she would want me to be happy" Danielle tried to stay strong, wiping away the tears brimming in her eyes with her free hand before she placed it down onto the bench. Roxy gently placed her hand on top of Danielle's.