Yuki consulted the star map and compared the coordinates og their destination with those of the Karyu. They were close to the goal, the area in the small asteroid belt between the twins planets of Alpheratz where Mime assumed the Arcadia was.
She looked up, walked to the cabin's window and observed the darkness dotted with stars all around her.
She remembered that once, at the beginning of her career as a pirate, she was afraid of it.
That immense void, dark, cold, without oxygen and life, full of hidden threats, always made her feel lonely, weak and insignificant.
We all felt this way, me too.
Her reflection for a moment became the face of Harlock, veiled by the visor of his space helmet.
Right now you're like a young bird before its first take off, a small being who knows it will have to jump in the void and flap its wings with all its strength to survive... This is your sky, Yuki, your freedom, but it's a prize that only those willing to fight day after day can win, only those who can bear solitude and silence, only those who can overcome fear.
She remembered his outstretched hand.
Although there will be someone by your side like me now, remember that it will only ever be you the one to take the first step, you to find the courage to be free, you to decide to fight.
She put a hand on the glass, as to caress that memory.
I never forgot it, Captain.
At his side she had learned to know that immensity, to love its lights and darknesses, to consider it her home. Yet, an echo of that fear came back to wring her heart.
- What are you thinking, Yuki? - Tadashi came near her.
- Old memories.
- Of the Arcadia? - his face reflected itself next to hers on the glass, frowned.
Yuki nodded.
- I think about it often too, of late. Was it not for you and Mayu, I think that, at this time, I'd be convinced that that period of my life was nothing but a dream.
- Yes - Yuki leaned her forehead against the glass and savoured its coolness - A dream turning into a nightmare.
He put an arm around her waist and remained silent at her side for a while, looking outside.
- I wish I could promise you that everything will be fine - he muttered - I'd give anything to do it.
- But you don't believe it, do you?
Tadashi shook his head. For a moment, his expression came back to be the angry and at the same time vulnerable one of the boy at war with the world who, one day of seven years before, had come aboard the Arcadia.
- You've seen it too - he put a hand on his chest - He's no longer himself. And if he really has one of those chips in the brain, perhaps... we'll have...
His hand ran to the holster and his fingers closed on his Dragoon's handle.
Yuki gasped, shivered.
Perhaps we'll have to kill him.
She had thought of it constantly... and if, before knowing about the Herakles Project, that was just a vague fear, now it seemed to be almost a certainty.
She thought back to the man in that old video, to the guards who had shot him in the head and she wondered if she could ever do such a thing to Harlock.
Her Harlock.
She pulled up her suit sleeve and looked at the burns on the mend on her right arm.
On Earth, she couldn't do it, not even to save her life.
- You still love him, don't you?
The question caught her by surprise.
She turned to Tadashi.
He hadn't moved an inch or changed expression and, for a moment, Yuki thought she just had imagined those words.
- It's... complicated - she murmured at last.
She couldn't not love Harlock.
She owed him everything: her life, her freedom, everything she had learned and all she had become, for better or for worse.
In the darkest moment of her life, when she believed she had nothing more to live for, he held her hand with his and taught her to fight and bear the weight of loneliness and memories, showed her that a house and a family were not just a place or blood ties and that she could still have and give much, if she only could find in herself the courage to do like him, to held her hand to someone and give him all.
It had been only thanks to Harlock if, little by little, the darkness of her life had filled of lights and the space had ceased to frighten her, it had been only thanks to him that her future, which once had scared her so much, had become something to look forward with hope, a time in which her dreams would have come true, something to fight to the last for.
She couldn't not love him and, now like then, she didn't care if theirs had never been a romantic love and never would become one: it was something she had long accepted and that did nothing to lessen the depth of their bond; it only made it different... and complicated, as all the bonds which had tied her to the men of her life.
- Why do you ask now?
Tadashi's eyes, set on the black universe, seemed darker than usual and shimmered with the reflections of distant stars.
- I need to know - he turned to look at her - I want to know how much I will hurt you if I'll have to kill him. And...
He paused, but she knew what he wanted to say: and if you won't think I did it out of jealousy, if you'll keep on staying by my side.
Yuki felt split in half.
It was not a new sensation: somewhere inside, she had always known that sooner or later the time to choose definitively between Harlock and Tadashi would have come... but that way, with what it implied, it was too painful.
Both, in different periods of her life, had given her what she needed: Harlock had protected her, returned her the hope and taught her to fight to the end for what she believed in; Tadashi had made her know the joy of being the support of someone and getting support in turn, had given her the warmth and serenity that Harlock, perhaps, knew he couldn't give her.
That ties were complicated, strong, impossible to break: those two men, so similar and so different, were all her life.
A lump closed her throat and Tadashi' face contours flickered behind a veil of tears.
And you? How much will all this hurt you? How much it has already?
Harlock meant a lot to him too: he had saved his life, he had pulled him out of an abyss of hatred and remorse, he had given him comrades, ideals to strive for, a future to build and, above all, he was the person he most admired in the world, the kind of man he had tried to become all those years long... and at the same time he was a rival, someone to reach and surpass, a silent shadow always present in their relationship.
The tears fell and, for a moment before he looked away, Yuki saw him frown.
- Forget it - Tadashi let go of her and turned her his back - I got it.
He walked to the door connecting the Captain's cabin to the main bridge and left without a word, without looking back.
At that moment, with her silence, Yuki felt she had blessed his heart even deeper than Harlock with his gunshot.
What am I doing?
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and took a step to follow him, but at that moment the voice of Zero echoed over the speakers.
- All crew, here the Captain speaking. We have located the Arcadia. I repeat: we have located the Arcadia. Prepare for boarding operations in twenty minutes. I repeat: prepare for boarding operations in twenty minutes.
With a sigh, Yuki backtracked her steps, went into the bedroom and tied her holster to her hips.
When she came out, the glass gave her back the image of a woman with the expression of the lost girl she once had been.
I'm the one to decide to fight and by which side. But sometimes it's so hard, Captain...
She put her hand on the glass again, but this time no reassuring memory came to her mind: she saw Harlock as she had last seen him on Earth, his cold, distant look, so different from the one of the man who once saved her from despair to make him look like a stranger.
She shuddered and, while the door shutted close behind her, she tried to compose herself; she knew that everyone expected her to return to her First Officer role once back on the Arcadia and that she couldn't afford to look weak, confused or frightened.
She couldn't, and didn't want to.
On the bridge, Zero came to meet her.
He still had his right hand bandaged and brought alongside the gun the Deputy Sheriff Carson had wanted at all costs to give him as a thank you for saving his life.
The story of his duel with Harlock on Heavy Meldar came to her mind and, if possible, troubled her even more. Tadashi was right, it was useless to deny it: in all probability they would have had to fight him to the death... their or his.
And what will I do when this happens?
- We're ready.
- Me too - Yuki straightened one of her gloves to avoid crossing eyes with Tadashi, standing behind Zero. She wanted to talk to him more than anything in the world, but it was not the time, it was not the place - The others?
- They're waiting for us at the mobile ramps - his voice was toneless, so distant as to seem almost the one of someone else - Mayu wants to come at all costs.
- There should be no danger - Yuki nodded - Let her meet her father again.
- Tochiro - murmured Zero - It's so hard to believe...
- Yet it's so. The Arcadia is alive, has a soul... and it' is the soul of somebody who loves Harlock deeply.
She, too, at first, had been sceptical; to transfer the very essence of a man into a computer seemed so unscientific, so absurd that, at one point, she even had doubted of her Captain's sanity, but later she had to change her mind: many, too many times not to accept it.
- With Tochiro anything is possible - Zero shrugged and took off his hat and jacket - Do you mind if I come with you? I would like to greet my old friend.
Yuki gave him a thoughtful nod.
She wondered if it would have been possible to communicate with the computer, as long as it was still operating, and above all if it would have helped them. For all she knew, Harlock was the only one who could speak and understand it... and he was not with them; on the contrary: this time, he was the enemy to fight.
She followed Zero in the locker room, put on a suit and joined the group to the ramps: Mime, Yattaran, the Doctor, Maji and Mayu were waiting for them along with another fifteen men, the few remainings of the old Arcadia's crew.
- So, guys, we finally go back home, huh? - Doctor Zero came to meet them, a toothy grin behind his helmet's glass.
- I can't wait to get to work - Maji gave a vigorous pat on Yattaran's back - And resurrect the good old Arcadia!
- Right, leave it to us - Yattaran returned the pat with equal ardour - And you'll see how we'll make it spick and span! Those bastards won't escape!
- Yeah! We'll save the Captain and teach a lesson to the bad guys, as always! - Maji grabbed Yattaran and shook him vigorously – Like this, this and this!
- And like this - Yattaran gave him a couple of slaps behind his head and a kick in the shins - And in the most painful ways possible!
- Okay, okay, we got it - the Doctor separated them - But don't make me work before the battle... and above all, save your energy for your job, you suck fighting!
There was a general laughter and even Yuki smiled, happy that at least they were so confident and determined.
Then she glanced at Tadashi who was fastening his helmet in silence and her smile faded when she saw his grim expression.
The metallic sound of the ramps beginning the engaging manoeuvre reached her ears.
She put her helmet on, checked the suit's closure and loaded her gun.
When the door opened, she went out first. The tunnel separating the two ships was long, dark, and, had it not been for the insulating material of the suits, cold as hell. As she clung to the side handles to give herself the maximum boost in the absence of gravity, she felt ice crystals crunching under her gloves.
She lit the torch. A hundred meters more.
Suddenly, Mayu grabbed her hand and she felt touched.
She recalled that, at her age, she had had the very strong temptation to do the same thing with Harlock the first time she had followed him in a boarding.
Se returned her hold, rushed forward and turned the knob of the door.
The interior of the ship was just as she remembered it, except that it was dark, dusty and deserted.
The image of those corridors lit day and night, full of all sorts of objects and people engaged in various and strange activities, reappeared immediately to her mind.
She saw Taro and Kiddodo sitting on the ground in front of their board, Masu chasing after Mii and Tori-San brandishing her knives, Doskoi grumbling because someone, again, had stolen his freshly washed briefs; she heard again the happy confusion of those days and the metallic sound of her footsteps echoing in the silence made her feel alone as never since a lot of time.
She checked her wrist oxygen level detector, took off the helmet and looked for the electrical box.
She pulled the autonomous emergency generator lever. As expected, nothing happened.
- We must supply the generator of gravium and fix the system up, or nothing will work here - behind her, Maji rolled up his sleeves - Me and my men are getting down to work, Yuki.
- How long will it take for everything to be operational again?
The Chief Engineer scratched his beard.
- If there are no major failures and from the Karyu someone gives us a hand with materials and repairs, I would say that me and my team can get there in two or three hours at most for the bare essentials and in a couple of days for all the rest - he turned to Yattaran - Rather, how about checking the computer's status?
- I was going to do it - Yattaran took off his suit and tied the bandanna on his head – Are you coming with us, Captain Zero?
In the light of the torch, Zero's expression was unreadable as he looked around.
He nodded and walked behind her, Mayu, Yattaran and Tadashi.
- Oh, it seems that there's still some electricity, here - Yattaran winked in the direction of the faint line of light filterig through the bottom of the computer room's door - I guess Tochiro diverted here all the generator's residual energy to keep operating for as long as possible.
- He was waiting for us - muttered Mayu - Dad...
- Well, let's go - Tadashi rotated the handle and opened the heavy door with Zero's help.
Inside, the huge main computer emitted weak flashing lights and a low hum.
Yattaran dashed to the control station and immediately began hacking away in the light of the torch.
Occasionally, his murmurs of approval and his muffled curses came to Yuki's ears.
- So it's this - Zero took a few steps forward and went to the computer - The soul of the Arcadia...
He hesitated a moment, then put his hand on the metal base and looked up.
- Tochiro.
Immediately, Yuki recalled Harlock and the first and only time she had seen him talking with the ship. He too, that day, had made the same gesture, looking up with the same expression, a curious mixture of serenity and sadness on his scarred face as he said that name.
What followed, words and gestures... only the memory was enough to bring tears in her eyes.
She approached too, trying to mask her uncertainty and anxiety.
She had already tried to talk to the computer in the past, without success: no voice ever answered her questions, no particular thought ever crossed her mind in that room.
- Tochiro, we need your help.
Silence.
- It's Harlock. He...
She lowered her head and stood silent. She didn't know where to start from, what to say... and above all how to ask.
Harlock was his best friend, the person to whom he had sacrificed everything and dedicated his life as a man until the very last moment, and perhaps they should have had to kill him: how could they ask for his help?
And how could they do it without?
She raised her head and realized that everyone was watching in silence, waiting.
- Let me talk to him, Yuki - Mayu grabbed her arm - Please.
Yuki looked into her eyes, then nodded: if there was one person besides Harlock who could get to Tochiro's heart or whatever remained of it, it was her.
- We're in your hands, Mayu - she squeezed them and turned to Zero and Tadashi – Let's leave them alone.
She left the room accompanied by the steps of the two men, the sound of Mayu's ocarina and the murmurs of Yattaran, too busy with his work to pay attention to anything else.
She walked to the bridge and, as soon as the door opened, she was again overwhelmed by memories. She saw Harlock at the helm, Tadashi and Yattaran at their stations and Mime watching silently sitting on the Captain's chair when everyone was resting, alone or in the company of the Doctor and several bottles of liquor.
She went to the radar station and ran a hand on the monitor. It was off, covered with a thick layer of dust that immediately greyed her glove.
She sighed and looked out into the darkness beyond the asteroid belt.
She wanted to put herself on the way straight off and, at the same time, to remain there forever.
- Are you okay? - Zero's reflection mirrored itself beside hers on the dusty glass.
- I should be the one asking - she smiled at him without turning back - You look upset.
He shook his head.
- It's nothing.
Yuki was not convinced: since he had come to the computer, he had darkened like Tadashi if not even more and hadn't said a word.
Even now, his face was pale and tense.
She wondered if Tochiro had spoken to him and was about to ask when the lights came on with a buzz and the cheerful voice of Maji echoed in the intercom along with a mass of screams and cheers.
- Main bridge, can you hear me?
- I receive you, engine room - Tadashi took the headset and sat down at the radar station.
- We restored the main generator. Luckily, here everything still works like a charm. I think we'll make it quicker to return operational than to remove all the dust that has accumulated! - he laughed - Well, it took a little luck, right?
- Yeah.
- And how's coming off good old Yattaran with the computer? I bet a nice booze-up that I would have ended before him!
- We left him at work. I'll call him immediately - Tadashi pressed a few buttons on the console - Yattaran, here the main bridge. Yattaran, where are you?
- I don't understand: everything here seems to work and it doesn't work quite noth... a moment!
With a sudden flash, the central screen came on.
- Yuki, Tadashi, can you hear me? - Mayu's voice.
- Loud and clear.
- Dad will help us. There's one important thing he wants you to know: it seems that the Nemesis is an exact copy of this ship, up to the smallest detail. I didn't understand how, but he can trace it.
Yuki walked over to the desk and leaned next to Tadashi.
- We know what its current position is?
On the screen appeared a map. Not far from the area where they were, a point shone with a flashing light.
- Miraiseria - Zero crossed his arms - Just as we supposed.
- Let's proceed - was all Yuki could say.
Zero walked to the door.
- I'll be back on the Karyu. Let me know when you're ready to go and if you need technicians or materials.
- Well - Yuki reached out and shook just the fingers of his right hand - Let us know if you get news from the Earth.
At that moment, the door opened and Mime came into the room, a black bundle in her arms and Tori-San perched on her shoulder.
She approached without a word, unfolded what turned out to be one of Harlock's cloacks and looked at Yuki with her big golden eyes.
- We all agree - she draped the cloak around her shoulders with a single, quick motion - From now until Harlock's return, the command is up to you, Yuki.
If Harlock returns... was the distressing thought that ran through Yuki's mind.
Mime locked the skull-shaped clip on her chest and Yuki turned to Tadashi. He stood up, walked over and looked into her eyes.
- I'm waiting for orders, Captain.
For some reason, Yuki felt as if an impassable wall had interposed between them: the same feeling of loneliness she had experienced when she had been clasped into that space cargo cell, nine years earlier.
She gripped the cloak's edge between her fingers and forced herself to put aside her personal problems: it was not the time, it was not the place, and now that she had the responsibility of the ship, now that the lives of all the crew members depended on her and her decisions, she had to keep alert at all costs.
Tori-San gave a sharp squeal and went to perch on the back of Harlock's chair, waiting. Yuki walked over and patted its head, but remained standing.
No, she couldn't sit there, ever.
As long as he continued to breathe, Harlock was the only one, true Captain of the Arcadia.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and pondered what to do.
Keep all busy, provide for basic needs, prepare for possible fights, set the course...
When she opened them, her ideas were clear and even her voice was firm.
- Tadashi, call Maji and ask him a full report on the situation of engines and armaments, then tell Yattaran and Mayu to reach the bridge as soon as possible. Mime, go to the Doctor and see if we need food or medicines. Zero, we will inform you as soon as we are ready to depart. In three or four hours I should be able to provide you a full report on the ship's situation and an estimate of what it will take to reach full efficiency.
- Roger that, Captain Kei - Zero gave her an admired look, saluted and went out.
While Mime and Tadashi were busy carrying out her orders, Yuki looked up at the flashing dot at the centre of the screen and thought back to Harlock, to that day long ago when he had stretched out his hand to guide her to face the darkness she was so much scared of.
She went to the helm, clasped the bar between her fingers and looked out beyond the asteroid belt, in the infinity of the cosmos. In a sense, she was in the same situation as then: she was about to leap into the void, with no guarantee of success, with no certainty except the one to have to fight with all her strengths. He was not there outstretching his hand to her but, somewhere out there, he was waiting.
Whatever the truth was, whatever the fate awaiting both would have been, Yuki felt she had one duty only.
I'm going to fight, Captain, as you taught me.
On the glass, her reflection gave her a determined look, as if it already had found what she sought.

Disclaimer: fanfic based on the world and the characters of "Captain Harlock" (Uchu Kaizoku Kyaputen Hārokku "and" Cosmo Warrior Zero "(Zero Kosumo Wōriā), created by and © Leiji Matsumoto.
All rights to these characters are © Leiji Matsumoto, Toei Animation, Enoki FIMS and probably a bunch of other people. Their use in this story does not imply support, approval or permission from their part. Since this story was conceived and written by a fan for other fans, please do not plagiarize it, give me my credit as author when publishing elsewhere and do not to redistribute it for a fee. Thank you!