Chapter 21
Since Headmaster was extremely alarmed he found Yuki duct taped to the closet (100% Naomi) in my cabin, only several people had to go back. Ichiru, tired of bushes and trees, decided to just reveal his hermit-little-self and get on the freaking bus. Remember Operation: A.P.O.L.O.G.Y? Well, that was one long chapter, but, guess what? I'm sitting in my dorm at Cross Academy squealing at the date, so The Pocky Machine, I'M DOING THOSE REQUESTS! Guess what? MAY 4.
(Insert Time Passing Here)
"Let, Operation: Birthday Celebration, BEGIN!" I cheer to nobody in particular.
Hauling a whole…day's…worth of supplies (okay, so it's one in the morning) through trees is not fun, but the results will definitely be…eh, something or another. Remember that 'Ann's Suicide'? Or was it 'Lesbian Trio'…eh. Anyways, Zero was EMOTIONLESS which was NOT in de script (okay, so he reacted later, still not in the script). I look at the list I had recently printed out and nod. First stop: Kaname's dorm. To be honest, I have no idea why Headmaster only sent Yuki, Zero, Kaname, Ruka, Shiki, Naomi (registered), Kain, Ichiru, Richard, Beet, her friend Rachel, Aido, some Night Class Chick named Mimi, himself, Rima, and me back (why oh why did Yagari stay with all those troublemakers? XD). Hmm, must be the fact someone sent him my to-do-list (you know who).
I drag through the gate, nodding at Mr. I-Need-Skin-Cream, and pushing through the Night Dorms that belong to Kaname and several others door. I dash up to Kaname's room, the writhing bag not so cooperative, and I burst in, dragging a naked Headmaster (okay, there's black lace underwear, but you can get what I'm doing) over to Kaname's bed to handcuff both wrists to the headboard, and dump a whole load of baggy clothing and chains into the bottom of Kaname's closet, snatching out all of his own and dash into the bathroom with my cricket jar to empty (about ten thousand). I place three cameras and activate my laptop to check if it's working I flip off camera Two and it shows, so I nod to myself and dash out.
(Insert Time Passing Here)
Okay, I'm on a busy schedule! Kaname is still not in his room, so I'm walking to Zero's with my eyes glued to the monitor. To think we're at about four-hundred words already…I use my back to shove through the Sun Boys Dormitories door and walk up to Zero's room, going into his closet to snatch out every shirt, checking my second laptop for Headmaster's House cameras to find a naked Zero (scarred for life thanks to him) in the shower, so I look around to find his last shirt (I guess he went over there shirtless (well it IS spring).
I shove all of them into the bag with Kaname's clothes and place cameras, accessing laptop three (then using my powers to make them levitate) and checking if it worked. Once I confirm that, I snatch Bloody Rose (idiot), refill the closet with bras and panties, and walk out, laptops flying in circles around my head, and I check the list. I shrug and walk over to the washing room to dump every article of clothing inside and dump all my ink in there, also producing red and blue food dye, a moldy popsicle, and some good old fashioned dry soap bar with tons of detergent, shutting the lid and skipping out as the machine rumbles.
Room Assault
I nibble on Rima's pocky as I watch Kaname enter his room (FINALLY). Now with four cameras, I smirk as he drops everything in his hands and stares horrified at the Headmaster, who's cursing like a sailor who got shot ten times and is bleeding his heart all over the place. "GET THIS *CENSOR* THING OFF OF MY *CENSOR* BODY!"
Kaname yanks the cuffs off and shows Headmaster out, closing the door and looking around with alarm. He tip-toes to the closet and opens it to via gangster clothes (two down). "Ann?" he raises a brow.
Something hops up his leg and he looks down, walking into the bathroom to groan and punch the wall (VIOLENCE!^^). The grasshoppers are everywhere, obeying my will to make Kaname miserable. I smile and gulp at Monitor Four, seeing Rima not reacting at ALL to the missing pocky and lay on the bed. I flip the screen off and eat the rest of the pocky before walking off with my trusty fake-mustache in hand.
Yuki's Torture Segment
4/19 COMPLETED! I do a small chicken dance and knock on Yuki's door. "Yes?" she pops her head out.
I hand her a box. "Only two cents."
She raises a brow and I just shove it at her, walking away casually while counting the $52 at hand from stealing her wallet (I should steal their wallets for a living…). I stretch out and feel her grip my shoulder, turning with that innocent o.o? face. She holds up the box of crack and I sigh, bringing out Mary the duct tape, the divorced wife of Marvin. "Nice try," she sighs.
"Would you like a naked Zero with that?"
She blinks. "W-What?"
"Would you like a naked Zero with that?"
She shakes her head and sighs. "What are we going to do with you Ann?"
I smile and skip off, ripping off the mustache before screaming in pain while Beet and Richard walk down the hall (WHAT THE HLL IS MY BROTHER DOING IN GIRL DORMS?). Welp, I have 6/19 completed, and in less than nine-hundred, thirty words!
Missing Items (and Dignity)
After carefully sneaking back to Kaname's room (cleaning up crickets takes a while huh?) and sliding the Bloody Rose under the tainted bed, I walk into Zero's room to find him holding his head in his hands. I smirk and take a quick picture with Merly, the Annoying Camera and Mary's ex (don't-it spoil-it my-it fun-it). I shake my head and click my tongue. "Wait 'till headmaster gets word that you're a cross-dresser…"
He chases me to the Headmasters office (#1 means of transportation) and I show Heady the picture, Heady sighing. "And I should believe the student who hand-cuffed me to a bed wearing women's lace underwear…why?"
"Because, I have more handcuffs!" I lift up a rusted pair.
He sighs and Zero comes in panting. Man is he fat. "Zero, remove the girls under clothing in your closet. And why are you shirtless?"
Zero glares up at me and, taking his left hand off of his left knee, jabs a sweaty index finger at me. "Ask…that...DEMON!"
He falls forward and I skip out. I cross the items off. Yep, 9/19 completo. Okay, so next is supposedly not as cool and smooth as this sht so far, but eh, who cares?
Clothes Assault
So I was in the Laundry room and found Kaname growling at me, holding up his clothing and Zero entering shortly after to pick my up by the collar. "WHAT THE FCK?"
I shrug and kiss him…ON THE LIPS! XD! YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES! "I'm lonely," I shrug and squeak like a school slut, strutting out and waving one finger in that 'come here dirty boy' tramp language. I hear a thick thump of Zero-body on floor and hug my ribs with one arm, covering my mouth securely with the other. Told you.
Shiki's Torture Segment
Shiki enters his room (me hiding under the bed) and sighs. "Ann, nice try…"
I snap my fingers and curse. I guess painting naked Goth women on the walls wasn't enough torture.
Breaking Down
No, it's NOT a pun on 'Breaking Dawn'. And also give me some cred for the Shiki torture! I. CAN'T. TORTURE. EMOS. OR. GOTHIES! I mean Barney's Emo, right? I shrug to myself in Night Class, even if it's only a few of us, and smirk. I haven't tortured Aido lately…I gasp and start twitching my eye, screaming and falling on the floor with cream soda bubbling out of my mouth. Ruka screams and I lay there, playing dead, as the teacher walks up to gently kick my side. "What caused this 'breakdown'?" he sighs.
I grip his pant cuff 'weakly'. "Whether or not…Aido's…a girl or boy…"
"HEY!" Aido kneels next to my head, flicking the temple.
I'm shoving Marvin into his baby maker, the blood actually going well with the white pants, although it looks like it's that time o' month. "RESPECT DEAD PEOPLE VIRGIN!"
Don't ask me how 'virgin' is insulting.
Lovey-Dovey With Someone I DON'T KNOW
How this came to be is a mystery to me, but eh, if it makes those happy readers out there laugh their lungs out (Lungs needed for Blood Foundation O' Ann Demon Gone Out Of Hand Siam). Okay, with a mail bag of Rated X love letters from someone named Kana-chan (Kaname I'm guessing), I sneak into his office and sneak behind Heady, screaming at the top of my lungs to cause him to jump and turn. He clamps a hand over my mouth. "What?" he sighs.
I hand him the bag and skip out, shutting the door and putting my ear to it. He sighs and starts banging his head against the wall. I nod and cross that off. Yep! 12/19!
Classy Torture-y
Okay, back in class (I'm serious, where are the people?). Mimi is on my left and Richard is on my right (we all have to sit in the front dmn it). Kaname is on Richard's right (sort of pale though…) with Kain on his right. Aido is at Mimi's left. Ruka is next to Kain, Rima next to her, and Shiki next to her. The teacher isn't in yet, so I hop up and take out a marker, tackling Ruka (eh, felt like it) and start scribbling 'IM DESPERATE' on her forehead while 'WHAT THE FCK? GET OFF!' echoes peacefully throughout the classroom (MY level of peace anyway…do you know how many times louder Kaname and Zero are?). Eventually I jump off and the squeaking of chair legs makes me cringe and look back to everyone BUT Richard at the far side of the room away from me. I smile and sit next to Richard in my original seat, patting his head.
"Good Nii-sama!"
"Nii…sama? Who hit your head?"
I glomp him, hearts flying around. "Nobody, Nii-sama!"
Next thing you know my arms are left with wide and I'm blinking as Richard is clinging to Kain's shoulders, shaking with wide-eyes. Jeez…
(Insert Time Passing Here)
More like One Hour Later to be precise…
"I'M TELLING YOU IT'S NOT NATURAL!"
"It is," Kain sighs.
I groan and fling my arms up in the air. "I GIVE UP! YOU EMOS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO TORTURE!"
I stomp back to my seat from the whole bunch of babies and start scribbling on the desk 'Buy Emo Torture Book'. I turn to Aido and smirk. Yep, might as well do it later. And no, it hasn't been two nights, they're just weird like that. It's only Lunch time of May 4.
Zero's Torture Segment #966,666,666,653,265,654,649,484,746,515,445,485,164
Naomi enters Zero's dorm with a bag of donuts she owes him from 5:52A.M. on the dot and blinks up as I stretch to fill the last spot on the walls with a sticky note with a bird and a bee on it. Don't ask me what they're doing. I hear her drop the bag and gap. "What. The. Fck."
"Isn't it pretty," I smile, hands under chin with batting eyelashes.
She plucks one off, making me fall off the ladder. " 'Dear Zero-koi,' " she reads, " 'I want to suck your-I'm censoring for BOTH our sakes-till dawn and have every one of your babies, you sexy-censor. I'm serious why the heck did you write that?"
"Well I can't say I want him to suck my tits because I DON'T HAVE ANY!" I pout.
"Not the point here!" she waves a hand. "This is Rated X for a Rated 'T' thing!"
"And? It's not like I'm thoroughly describing how I'm sucking!"
"Dude just take them down!"
"Hey, this was a request! I would've been SO much happier if it was violent, but no, Marvin, Btchy Mary, and Merly wanted it to make him turn Gay! Now excuse me!" I start walking over to Zero's closet. "I have work to do!"
I shut myself in and she sighs, walking out and Zero later walking in (yes, all post-notes are signed) and I hear a gun go off. I peek into the room to see he shot his foot, most of his body bruised, hair pulled, and body scratched off as well. Must've went back for his Bloody Rose seeing he has it in his hand.
(Insert 'Why me's Here)
After Zero cries himself to sleep (…they're just notes…), I start scratching on the wall and banging it at points, making him cringe and shoot up, sweating. He looks at the closet (silent, teehee) and falls back to sleep. I keep making the noises and smirk as I groan (what image do you think I'm trying to put in his head?) and he screams, covering his head with a pillow and curling up into a ball. Yuki comes in and I stop the noises. "Zero! What's wrong?"
Why is she…never mind. "Ann keeps raping me…" he mutters in fast pace. "Ann keeps raping me…"
"Zero…she's not that psychopathic."
"OF COURSE I AM!" I shoot out, grabbing her by the collar with a red face. "I'M COMPLETELY PSYCHOPATHIC! I'M THE MOST-oh you're awake Zero."
"ANN!" he whips out Bloody Rose.
"Eep! MARVIN SAVE ME!"
"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BSTARD!"
"Bstards for boys~Btches for girls~"
"RRAAAHHHH!"
I check my noose watch to smirk as I run. Only 2:45P.M. Zinga! 17/19! Well, technically I WASN'T following Richard, but eh, it works.
Aido Doesn't Understand Sex
"Hey Aido!" I sit next to him on the couch, lifting my hands to show no Marvin, by Mary.
"What's the duct tape for?" he yawns, stretching.
"To help you understand the Birds and the Bees!"
"The what?"
I blink, sober. "You really have NEVER had this talk?" He shakes his head.
(Insert Time Passing Here)
"LOOK," I groan, "IT'S FAIRLY SIMPLE. THE BEE STICKS THAT UP THE BIRDS 'THAT' AND A MUTANT BIRBEE IS BORN."
"I still don't get it!" he sighs.
I start duct taping him to the couch, whip Marvin out of my pocket, and taser his balls till blood comes through. HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO DMN STUPID?
Last One Of De Day!
"Hey Zero!" I call, running up.
"Go away."
"Aww…please Mr. Sexy?"
"NO."
"Are you still mad?"
"YES."
"Come on, just because Ichiru is hotter than you, that doesn't mean you have to be so grumpy."
He stops, looking down at Fourteen (again I look Thirteen, but Gd doesn't want me to have tits to write disturbing sticky notes to Zero about) year old me. "We're twins. How can one be 'hotter' than the other?"
"Easy, he just is," I smile.
This goes on for hours.
"He's hotter."
"We're twins."
"He's hotter."
"WE'RE TWINS."
"HE'S HOTTER!"
"WE'RE TWINS!"
"Oh alright Mr. Virgin, I get it."
He chases me to my dorm where I slam the door shut and scream, plopping into bed and shutting my eyes. TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY!
Questions
One-What are YOU getting for Ann's birthday?
Two-What to do on Ann's birthday…
Three-Should Ann fall in love, or do you want this to remain strictly friendship between the students?
Four-WHO WANTS TO MEET MARVIN?