"…The Gaybusters haven't been heard from since the Elm street fire last week, while residents continue to struggle with paranormal phenomena in their homes, and around the city. Up next-"
"Haha. Gaybusters." Holtz muttered.
Erin opened her eyes tiredly to see Holtzmann's blurry elbow in her face. She reached up to rub her eyes with her fingertips but miscalculated and poked herself in the eye.
"Ow!"
"Oh, you're awake." Holtz said.
Erin rubbed her eyes, peeking her head above the blanket. She had fallen asleep completely under the comforter, with no pillow support. Holtz was sitting up next to her, watching TV.
Erin sat up as well and rubbed her neck. "What time is it?" She asked, regarding the peanut butter and jelly sandwich Holtz was eating.
"7:30"
"AM?"
"Yup."
"…Why are you eating a sandwich?"
"Why are you drooling?"
"Wha-" Erin wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. It came away wet. "Oh, fuck me." She muttered.
"Okay." Holtz agreed.
"No, not… it's because I didn't have proper pillow support." She said, trying to cover up the fact that she drooled in her sleep all the time.
Holtz was of course aware of Erin's sleep habits. She laughed softly at her girlfriend. "I'm not kissing you until you wash your face, though. And brush your teeth."
"Wow, standards." Erin muttered, sliding out of bed. She suddenly remembered what woke her up. "Wait, what's this "Gaybusters" thing?"
"I don't know. I think someone was trying to be funny. You know news anchor humor is the lowest level of comedy the human race can sustain. There was a real scientific study on that."
"No there wasn't."
"Whatever. We're the gaybusters. I kind of like it."
Erin sat on the edge of the bed, frowning at the ground. "Cool. If only being gay didn't get me fired."
Holtzmann scooted across the bed in her underwear and T-shirt, tucking the sheets around herself. "There are plenty of colleges that aren't run by homophobes. It's not like Columbia is the last place you can ever work."
"I want to work in a place with a good reputation. I want to teach kids who are going to go on to become amazing physicists who unlock the secrets to the universe. I don't want to leave the city, and you guys. Where am I supposed to go, NYU?"
"…I wouldn't worry about it." Holtz grinned.
Erin was getting irritated. "Yeah, because you never dreamed of teaching kids! You just want to build and blow stuff up!"
"Sheesh, Gilbert. You're so tense." Holtzy began to massage Erin's shoulders.
Erin instinctively elbowed Holtzy backwards using a maneuver she learned in a self-defense class.
"Ah-h!" Holtz rolled backwards on the bed, clutching her ribs.
Erin spun around and grabbed the sandwich plate off the sheets before Holtz could roll on top of it and really make a mess.
Holtz looked up at Erin through squinted eyes, probably sensitive to the morning sunlight. "Why do you hurt me?" She whispered theatrically.
"Are you okay?"
Holtz sat up and tried to rebound casually, but it was clear she was in at least a little bit of pain. She snagged the remote. "Would you relax? Watch this."
"Holtzmann, I told you, I don't think that skateboarding fails are funny."
"It's not that video. Would you just watch this? I was gonna wake you up for this but you're so cute when you're drooling." Holtz rewound the news quickly.
She pressed play after rewinding about ten minutes.
The headline read: Columbia Dean Fired Over Professor Controversy.
"What!" Erin grabbed the remote out of Holtzmann's hands and turned up the volume.
"…former Dean of Columbia University in New York has been under investigation for the past few days over a controversial audio leak recording him supposedly about to fire a professor over their sexual orientation. The Dean can be heard in the video saying, "here at Columbia, we respect traditional values. The terms "couple" and "committed relationship" are reserved for individuals in love… I don't think we understand the same definition of love.""
Holtz grabbed Erin's wrist excitedly, even though she had already seen it.
The journalist continued. "The audio was leaked from a third party, and later in the clip the professor in question can be heard resigning before the dean could fire her, although her expulsion from the University was heavily implied. The president of Columbia states that they are "looking into the matter", and "considering all sides", but he also states that "the university is a safe space for everyone. We want people from all walks of life to feel confident that they will be treated equally here at Columbia. The Dean's actions and statements do not reflect those of the university.""
Erin barely had time to put her hand over her mouth in surprise before the text cut to footage of a relatively small march in the central square of the campus. A few students were holding rainbow flags and sporting Ghostbusters logos, chanting something indiscernible.
Erin's chest swelled with pride and Holtz, just feeding off the emotion Erin was giving off, threw her arms around the physicist.
"Wait, this doesn't mean I have my job back." Erin said. "Nobody's called me." She reached for her phone on the nightstand and unlocked the screen, half expecting…"Nope. No calls."
"Erin, look at the bigger picture! This is a step forward for equality. We are part of this movement!"
Erin gave a small laugh at her girlfriend's infectious enthusiasm. "Well, so much for anonymity."
Holtzmann squeezed Erin's hand, then brought it to her lips and kissed it, holding it there. Then she swung her leg over Erin and straddled her lap.
"Wait—" Erin steadied Holtz's hand against her chest. "What does this mean for you? And the people who are looking for you?"
"They're only talking about you, babe. I know some people who can keep my name out of the headlines." She winked.
"You have connections with the local news?"
"Ehhh… sure."
"Whatever. If it involves illegal hacking, I don't want to know." She released the engineer's hand and let it continue pulling her tank top off. Holtz leaned in and began kissing Erin's neck with a growing hunger.
After a few minutes of their usual foreplay, Erin decided to make her move. She wrapped her arms around Holtzy's lower back and rolled her to the side.
"…SOME FRESH COOKING TIPS TO LIVEN UP YOUR SUMMER, AND TAKE A PEEK AT OUR SUMMER WARDROBE TO KEEP YOU FEELING COOL AND LOOKING HOT! HERE WITH OUR FASHION CORRESPONDENT…"
"Ow, fuck!" Holtz shouted over the TV, frantically trying to find the remote that had just left its indent in her lower back. She dove for the mute button like an action hero while Erin covered her ears.
The silence that followed seemed to ring. Erin collapsed back into the pillows, recovering from her initial shock at the sudden TV interruption.
"Fuck you, Hoda." Holtz said at the TV.
"Are you okay?" Erin sat up again, reaching around to her girlfriend's back where she had landed on the remote.
"Babe, that move was really hot, but for the future, make sure you're not throwing me on top of something."
"Says the woman who almost laid on a sandwich ten minutes ago!"
Holtz turned off the TV. There was enough morning light coming in through the window that the room barely got any darker.
Holtzmann rubbed her back. "Please stop injuring me today."
"You want me to kiss it?"
"Just… look at it. Does it look bad?" She pulled up the right side of her shirt in the back.
"Oh shit, Jillian."
"What!?"
"We… we may need to amputate."
"Amputate what, my butt!"
Erin laughed. "There's nothing there." Her hand took the place of Holtzmann's, holding up her shirt. She eased Holtz to lay on her side and leaned in to kiss the spot. "I see nothing. You're fine."
"Oh."
"Feel better?" Erin mumbled into Holtz's skin.
"Mmh."
The physicist tried not to let her intention show, but as she kissed a line around Holtz's side and below her navel, she could sense her girlfriend catching on to where this was going.
All the while, her hands were moving over Holtzmann's body to relax her, but she couldn't tell if it was working or not. When she finally put her tongue just slightly under the band of her girlfriend's underwear, Holtz reached down and put her hand under Erin's chin, stopping her.
"Erin…"
Erin prepared herself for the rejection, but decided to act oblivious. "What?"
"…I trust you." Holtz said, then slightly lifted her hips, prompting Erin to continue.
Erin's chest filled with pride. She felt like punching a guy in the face. /See?/ she thought, /You have no power over her anymore!/ Whatever scared, beaten girl Holtz pictured herself as, clearly was not present as Erin hooked her fingers under Holtz's waistband and slid them down her legs, and she was reminded of why Holtz was hesitant to do this in the first place. It's not like she didn't want Erin between her legs. It was her self-consciousness of her scars.
Holtz grabbed a fistful of sheets and squeezed it, trying not to think of what Erin was seeing right now and what she was thinking about what she was seeing.
Erin had seen Holtz before but they were in the shower and she wasn't paying attention. Now, of course, she saw what Holtz had been hiding.
Her scars.
Truthfully, Erin noted, it wasn't much different from various marks on the rest of Holtzmann's body. She recognized the pock-shape of a few cigarette burns on her inner thigh, but didn't let herself think about any further scars. Holtz didn't want her picturing that. If she didn't know what they were from, she couldn't picture it.
The physicist looked up at the nervous rise and fall of her girlfriend's chest, her t-shirt bunched up around her ribs.
At first, Erin tried to mimic with her tongue what the engineer had done to her many times, but she grew discouraged after eliciting little reaction.
"Holtz?" Erin whispered softly. "Jillian?"
"Yeah, babe?"
"…What do I do?"
Holtzmann laughed softly, though it felt a little forced. She proceeded to give Erin verbal instructions, which kinda turned Erin on in a way she wasn't expecting.
Overall, Erin couldn't think of anything more explicitly sexual and overwhelmingly emotional than that morning with Holtzmann.
Holtz's voice was level and measured, almost strict, but the feeling of insecurity slipped out between every word. At one point, she roughly grabbed Erin's wrist and squeezed it, like she had with the sheets.
Erin remembered when they had first showered together, how aggressive and commanding Holtz had gotten before they got in the shower. Maybe it was her way of making this sex different from the abuse she's suffered. She was in charge now.
As Holtzmann finished, the physicist left kisses along her girlfriend's inner thighs, and finally crawled back up to her.
To her surprise, Holtz accepted an open-mouthed kiss, clearly not caring about the taste.
"You're amazing." Holtz said.
After a while, Erin added, "Thank you. For trusting me."
"I'm glad I did, Ghost Girl." Holtz smiled.
~/~
Less than a week later, Erin was contacted by Columbia University. Within a few weeks of that, she was back in her old lecture hall, with her old PHY 311 students.
Erin stayed in the corner of the classroom, pretending to sort papers as her particle physics students filed in. She could feel their stares on the back of her neck. As the clock struck 10, she watched the last few students take their seats and she moved nervously to the middle of the room.
"Hey, guys. So, I'm back." She said.
To her complete surprise, she was greeted with a round of applause, started by one of the football players.
"Um, thank you." She said. "I didn't think you guys missed me that much."
"You really are dating a woman." A girl in front said.
"…Yes, I really am dating a woman." Erin said, fitting her fingers together nervously.
"That's so fuckin cool." One of the football players said. Erin mentally smacked herself for always referring to them in her mind as "the football players", therefore perpetuating the stereotype.
"I was right, she is a Ghostbuster." The other one said.
"Yep." Erin straightened her blouse.
"Can we meet her?" The girl said.
"Can you meet her? Why would you wanna do that?" Erin blurted.
"She seems pretty chill."
"Yeah, she is I guess. I mean, you can meet her if you see her around somewhere. But don't like, call the Ghostbusters to get us to come over. It would be futile anyway, she's only working on the equipment now, she's not going on calls."
"What! Why not?"
"She's probably still recovering from the fire!" One of the football players said.
Erin checked her roster quickly. The football player's names were James and Noah. Good to know. "We've had people taking advantage of our services. And a lot of threats. So we're not currently going on any calls. At all. But when we do, she won't be going with us. So don't call us. Please."
"So we don't get to meet her."
"No. Actually… I was considering having her come in and give a guest lecture. What do you guys think of that?"
Erin was met with genuine enthusiasm. Apparently, she has solved the secret to getting students to like you. You just have to be gay. Well, I can do that, Erin thought.
"Is she gonna talk about Ghostbusting?"
"No, she'll talk about Physics. This is a physics course."
"She knows physics?"
Erin laughed. "She's a PhD in experimental particle physics."
"Isn't that the same as you?"
"Nope. I'm theoretical particle physics."
"Is that even different?" James asked.
"Great question. Yes, it's very different, as far as career options. As a theoretical physicist, you'll work on theories and write papers and conduct research. You will essentially be the driving force behind particle physics research. My girlfr- Doctor Holtzmann, is an engineer. She applies particle physics to engineering, inventing stuff and building the things that test out my theories."
Erin borrowed a kid's notebook to see what the replacement professor had taught them while she was away.
It wasn't much.
"Well. I have my work cut out for me. I'll see who I can talk to about letting Dr. Holtzmann guest-lecture. See who still likes me here…" She mumbled.
~/~
a/n So sorry about the delay in updating. Leaving a review means I'm less likely to forget about it again! (honestly though, I've gone back to a story after years of inactivity just because someone left a review. It really makes the difference)