Brother's Gonna Work It Out

"So let me get this straight." Schiff demanded. He was conferencing with the agents investigating the Morrison case. "We have what exactly?"

"If we could combine the evidence against all three of them into one, we'd have an airtight case." Tyson answered "But right now, the best we have is circumstantial against any one of the three."

"What about the signature?"

"The good news is we know it was written by a left-handed person. The bad news... only one of the Hardy's is a south paw and it doesn't even come close to his writing."

"What about the other two?" Schiff asked, feeling his blood pressure rise with each minute that went by.

"Their signatures were so illegible with their left hands that we couldn't even get a partial match." Tyson answered

"What about the club employees?"

"We've talked to everyone who worked that night. One of the bartenders remembers Morrison being there, but he said he was with someone. No one recalls seeing any of the Hardys there that night." Redebacher added

"None of them? That's not what I wanted to hear!"

"None, sir." Redebacher "We combed through their alibis and that got us nowhere either."

"Well, what witnesses we do have saw the deceased drive away sometime after midnight, so we know that whoever cut his brake lines must've done it prior to that, but after ten o'clock, when he arrived at the club. Matthew has an airtight alibi. He was at the arena until nearly midnight and could not have driven over there in time to do it." Tyson said, referring to his notes.

"Okay, so that eliminates Matthew. What about the other two?" Schiff demanded "Don't tell me their alibis are airtight as well!"

"The other two... their only alibi is each other. From what we know, shortly after the incident with Morrison, Jeff apparently quit the WWE. Following that, he moves in with Tom, but that doesn't mean he didn't sneak out and do it while Tom was asleep. The same goes for Tom..."

"Wrap it up for me, Tyson. We can't convict all three, I'm sure of that... who do we have the best chance of nailing?" Schiff asked

"Based on what we know, Jeff." Tyson answered

"Fine. Drop the charges against the other two." Schiff answered "Offer the kid a deal for man-1, five to ten and see what happens. If he doesn't take it, we're going to trial."

When Matt had innocently asked if posting bail meant Vince owned them, he wasn't far from the truth. When they weren't doing something for Vince, they were confined to their hotel room. It wasn't bad, the accommodations, but days of room service and cable TV were starting to fray their nerves.

"I'm fuckin' bored, man!" Jeff threw the remote control across the room.

Tom looked over from where he was lounging on a bed, trying to do the New York Times Crossword. "You know a thirteen letter word for lack of stimulation?"

"How about... fucking bored?" Jeff replied

"Doesn't fit... third letter's an 'm' and fucking bored only has twelve." Tom tapped the paper, thinking. "Got it... unmasturbated."

"Is that even a fuckin' word?" Jeff asked

"Yeah." Tom answered "You want me to use it in a sentence?"

"I dare ya, dude."

"Okay... my little brother is a bit edgy because his dick has been unmasturbated for days." Tom said, enjoying the blush it brought to little Jeffy's face.

"It has not!" Jeff protested

"I know." Tom said "Matt and I can hear you in the bathroom. And you said he was the loud one."

Jeff pouted. "At least you get to leave the room. I'm stuck here."

"Would you rather be stuck in a jail cell?" Tom demanded "I'm sure you'd have tons of fun there!"

"Fuck you, Tommy." Jeff stuck out his tongue.

"Look, Jeff, I know it's tough. But you have to look at the alternatives." Tom threw his paper on the bed and rolled off. "Hell, I'm not getting out much either."

"Yeah, but at least Vince lets you leave!" Jeff whined

"Yeah. I get to go to maybe two TV tapings a week and for what? I'm a former IC champ and now look at me... I'm reduced to carrying the belts for Matt like a glorified valet! This is not how I pictured my career going!" Tom hopped over to the other bed and rolled beside Jeff.

"At least you still have a career." Jeff sulked. He sometimes forgot that he would still have a career, and possibly still be the Champion, if he wasn't so impetuous.

"We've been over this a hundred times before." Tom clasped his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling.

"I know." Jeff sighed "I'm such a fuck-up sometimes, I don't know how you and Matt can stand to be around me."

"Jeffro, you're no more of a fuck-up than any other member of this family." Tom turned his head. "Y'know, if you were as perfect as you think everyone wants you to be, then you'd be no fun at all." He flicked Jeff under the chin.

Jeff swatted Tom's arm away. Tom swatted Jeff right back and this soon turned into a friendly scuffle on the bed, ending with Tom pinned underneath Jeff.

"Say it." Jeff demanded, tickling Tom who erupted in squeals.

"No... Never!" Tom fought back as hard as he could, but Jeff was determined.

"Say it!" Jeff repeated, continuing the tickle assault.

"I love you!" Tom shouted

Jeff suddenly stopped the assault, looking deep into Tom's eyes. "I love you too." He leaned in for a kiss.

"I know you do." Tom returned the kiss, his tongue swiping across Jeff's full lips before parting them softly. Jeff opened to allow his brother's tongue entrance and their tongues danced with each other for several moments before Tom broke it.

"Jeff... one across. Release... six letters."

"Oooh... orgasm." Jeff answered "My turn: five down... oral stimulation, often leading to one across... two words, four letters and three letters."

"Easy one. Blow job." Tom answered

"Ten across... occasion for five down... three letters, last one is w."

"Now?" Jeff asked

"You're pretty good at this." Tom pushed Jeff's groin into his.

"I had a good teacher." Jeff gasped, feeling Tom's erection brush against his.

"So, would like a five-down, ten-across?" Tom teased Jeff.

"Yessss." Jeff hissed, Tom's touches sending sparks right to his crotch.

Tom's fingers toyed with the snap on Jeff's pants, tugging the material until his finally gave. Jeff's zipper parted with the same ease.

"For someone who's been stimulating himself regularly, you sure are ready to go." Tom eyed the jockey-covered swelling with relish, licking his lips in anticipation.

"Mmmm..." Jeff moaned wordlessly.

"I believe that's a yes. Remind me to get an English-to-Imagi-nation dictionary." Tom joked, tracing the still-concealed swelling with his lips. Jeff bucked his hips impatiently. When he was this aroused, fuck the foreplay and get to the good stuff.

"Easy, tiger. Don't want you to shoot too soon." Tom continued his gentle massage of Jeff. As he was getting ready to pull off the shorts, the phone rang.

"Don't you dare answer that." Tom ordered

"But it's Matty." Jeff pushed away and grabbed his phone off the table.

"Hiya, Matty... what's up?" Jeff sat up, listening intently.

Tom tried to slide in and get a nibble or two of Jeff's neck, but he swatted Tom away.

"Fine." Tom got off the bed and hobbled to the door. No sooner had he opened it, then two policemen stuck their heads inside.

"Need something?" One of them asked

"Food. Jeffro's outta Skittles." Maybe a little bribery would get Jeff back in the mood. Tom handed several dollar bills to the nearest one.

"How many do you want?" he asked

"As many as you can get." Tom closed the door. He turned around, right into Jeff.

"Oh God, you scared me." He clutched his chest.

"Matty wants to talk to you." Jeff held out the phone.

"Thanks. When the cop gets back, let me know." Tom took the phone and cradled it in the small of his neck. "Sup, Matt?"

"Tom, I need a huge favor." Matt answered

"Anything, bro, name it." Now it was Jeff's turn to get cuddly and be pushed away.

"I just heard from my lawyer. They're dropping the charges against us." Matt responded

"That's good news." Tom exclaimed

"Us as in you and me. They're goin' to try to pin this on Jeff." Matt added

"Oh." Tom said, looking over at Jeff.

"I hate to pin this on you, but could you tell him? I'll probably screw it up big time." Matt asked

"Me? Why me?"

"You and Jeff have a bond. I think it'll sound better coming from you." Matt justified.

"You're shitting me!" Tom shouted

"Please, Tom. I wouldn't ask but..."

"Fine Matt. I'll do it. When are you coming back?"

"A couple hours, bro."

"Bring beer. I have a feeling we're gonna need it tonight." Tom hung up the phone and looked at Jeff, happy with his fresh stash of Skittles the cop had provided.

"Mmm... Skittles... thank-you Tommy!" Jeff kissed Tom, already tasting sugary.

"You're welcome, bro." Tom sighed "Here's your phone."

"What'd Matt want to talk to you about?" Jeff demanded

"Uh, yeah..." Tom hesitated, running his fingers through his hair.

"It's not good, is it?" Jeff guessed

Tom flopped down on the bed, rubbing his forehead with his palms. Jeff bounced down beside him.

"Jeff... dammit, why do I always get the dirty jobs?" Tom answered

"Don't make me tickle you again." Jeff poked him in the ribs.

"Jeff, you're probably gonna hear from your lawyer real soon, so maybe he can give you all the details, but I'll tell you what Matt told me... the charges are being dropped..."

"Yay!"

"...against Matt and me." Tom said "They're going after you."

The Skittles fell in a multicolored mess on the floor.

"Tommy?" Jeff asked, his face scrunching up. "What am I gonna do?"

"You're going to fight this like you've fought every other pile of crap that's been tossed at you in your life." Tom answered, gathering Jeff in his arms. "And you're gonna come out of this stronger than before."

"But what if I go to jail?" Jeff whimpered, snuggling into Tom's chest in a little ball.

"Let me tell you something. The prosecution is going to have a real difficult time proving their case, no matter who they charge. They can't use anything either Matt or I said because if they do, your lawyer can pull out our confessions and there's more than reasonable doubt right there." Tom stroked Jeff's hair. "As for whatever else they have, the only valid argument I can see them coming up with is your hiding out, but I'm sure your lawyer can answer that too."

"But what if you're wrong?" Jeff cuddled closer.

"Have I ever been wrong?" Tom asked

"Mm-hm." Jeff answered "Lotsa times."

"But this ain't one of them." Tom stated "Jeff, you're not going to jail."

"If you say so." Jeff didn't seem convinced.

"Look at me." Jeff raised his eyes to meet his brothers. "You are not going to go to jail. As long as Matt and I are around, you have nothing to fear. Why don't you get your Bunny and relax... where is the little varmint anyway?"

"I dunno." Jeff answered

"You dunno. You, Jeff Hardy, don't know where Bunny is? What... did you two have a fight?"

"Uh-huh. I told her I was too old to be hanging around her so much." Jeff reached for his candy.

"You did what?" Tom repeated. Jeff tossing away Bunny was unheard of. Tom had heard stories from the locker room about how close they were, even to the point of making another wrestler apologize for hurting her feelings.

"I'm almost thirty-two, Tom. I don't need a... a... Bunny!" Jeff sniffled

"It looks like somebody does need his Bunny." Tom whispered "Just stay here for a minute, I'll be right back."

Tom waltzed into the bathroom, leaving Jeff curled up with a pillow. While he made enough noise to make it sound like he was doing normal bathroom activities, he reached on top of the medicine cabinet and pulled down his shaving bag. Inside it was not his usual shaving accessories, but an emergency item he thought he might need at some point.

"You still there?" Tom called

"Where would I go?" Jeff responded, thickly. Either he was crying again or his face was buried in the pillow, Tom couldn't tell.

"Just hold tight. I'll be right out." Tom brushed a few loose bits of fluff off the tiny object. "I hope this works."

"Now, I've atoned for some of my mistakes, and I think it's time for you to do the same..." Tom stuck his surprise in Jeff's face. "apologize to Bunny!"

"Bunny?" Jeff said, his face still covered by the pillow. "She's gone."

"Jeffro? Bunny!" Tom tickled Jeff's exposed neck with the rabbit's ear.

Tom waited while one eye peered out from beneath. "She still loves you too. Even though you hurt her by saying those nasty things. Here... you two talk while I see about getting some food up in here."

Tom planted the stuffed animal on the bed beside Jeff and went to order some room service. He looked over just once to see that Jeff was actually apologizing to her. Well, how would you feel... after twenty-five or so years with someone, to tell you that they're too old for you... you'd be pissed off too!

"Bunny?" Jeff looked into her eyes.

Bunny looked back sternly.

"Bunny, I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry." Jeff wiped his eyes.

Bunny's expression didn't change. She still looked at Jeff, burning through him with her plastic eyes.

"Bunny, I love you. I missed you. I need you." Jeff gently stoked what was left of her fur. Twenty-five years worth of shedding had left her with a much thinner coat.

Bunny fell over, her ear brushing Jeff's hand. He looked up from where he was prone on the bed, his eyes wet from his most recent emotional outburst.

"Bunny?" Jeff asked

"I think you're forgiven." Tom sat on the bed and tousled Jeff's hair.

Jeff grabbed both Tom and Bunny in a group hug.

"Blahhhh!" Tom gagged. Jeff's grip was choking him. "Easy, bro."

Jeff planted several kisses on both Bunny and Tom's faces. "I love you so much!" Just whom that comment was directed at was unclear.

"We love you too, Jeffro. Now I ordered dinner... Spaghetti and meatballs." Tom asked

"Yay, sketti! Hear that Bunny, Uncle Tommy got you your favorite." Bunny whispered something to Jeff.

"Bunny says thank-you." Jeff wiggled it in Tom's face.

"Tell Bunny, she's welcome."

"But next time, could she not travel in your shaving kit... she says it smells like sex." Jeff asked

"Tell Bunny she's too young to think things like that." Tom put on his best shocked face. "Now, both of you, wash up. Dinner will be here soon."

Bunny and Jeff danced into the bathroom and Tom soon heard the sounds of the water.

"Both yer paws." Tom shouted

"We know." Jeff stuck his head out.

"Just hurry up." Tom sighed, suddenly wondering if the cops were still outside the door. Maybe Vince had heard the "good" news and had lessened their security. He decided to check.

"Something we can get you?"

"Yeah, dinner's on its way. Bring it in the second it arrives." Tom was wrong. The ever-vigilant guards were still posted.

"Yes, sir." The cops saluted sarcastically.

"We're ready." Jeff said proudly. He and Bunny were seated at the dinette, ready for dinner. Bunny even had her bib on, made from one of the Hardy Boys garish fluorescent-green shirts.

"Bunny's eating with us tonight, is she?" Tom asked with overt surprise in his tone of voice.

"Yeah. She washed her paws and everything." Jeff showed Tom Bunny's clean hands.

"Okay. Just checking, Jeffro." Tom said. "What would Bunny like to drink? I ordered a bottle of red wine with dinner. Matt should be bringing beer with him, so I thought one bottle would be enough... I didn't know we were having company."

"Bunny doesn't drink." Jeff responded as if it was obvious.

"Good... ah, here's dinner."

One of their guards wheeled in their dinner on a silver cart. Jeff and Tom dug in, Bunny just picked at her food.

They were just finishing up their meal when Matt arrived, two cases of beer in his muscular arms.

"Hey, Matt, lemme give you a hand." Tom slid out from the table to take some of the weight off his brother.

"Thanks, bro... what a night!" Matt sighed, tossing his gym bag aside. "Did you tell him?" He mouthed

Tom nodded. "Dinner's on the table. We saved you a plate."

"Tommy ordered sketti!" Jeff exclaimed happily.

"That was nice of him... did you say thank-you?"

"Mm-hmm... Bunny did too." Jeff replied

Matt looked at Tom, eyebrows raised questioningly. Tom shook his head in a 'don't ask' motion.

While Matt ate, they talked about his day. Matt was pulling double duty, still holding two titles, and even though it was only a house show, he still had defenses of both belts.

"Why hasn't Vince taken one of them off of you yet?" Tom asked, sipping the last of his wine.

"I dunno, man. I think he was waiting until this other mess got settled before he made any story changes. He does wanna talk to us before RAW tomorrow." Matt replied "Is Bunny gonna eat that?" He'd already finished his plate.

"Go ahead. Bunny's full." Jeff responded

"Full?" Tom repeated "She hardly touched it."

"She's on a diet." Jeff explained

"Oh, okay." Tom leaned back, patting his full stomach. "Good thing I'm not."

"So, Jeff, Tom talked to you."

"Uh-huh..." Jeff said

"And you're okay with this?" Matt asked

"Yeah, whatever." Jeff replied nonchalantly. "Tommy said you two were on my side and that they'd have a hard time proving anything."

"Yeah, bro, we are, and they will." Matt wiped off his mouth with a napkin. "I don't want you to worry about it. It may be weeks, months even, before they are ready to go. Until then, you're gonna live for the moment, right?"

"Right, Matty." Jeff sang "I wanna beer!"

"Me too." Tom agreed "Let's enjoy tonight. If Vince wants Matt 'n me back on a regular schedule, it might be the last time the three of us can get completely bombed for a long time."

"I'm gonna put Bunny to bed." Jeff took his rabbit into the bedroom.

"Seriously, bro, how'd he take it?" Matt asked as soon as Jeff had closed the door.

"He was a little shaken up." Tom answered "But I calmed him down quickly enough. I had a little help."

"I knew that rabbit would come in handy." Matt chuckled "Jeff, are you still drinking with us?"

"In a minute." Jeff shouted through the door.

"I'll throw some on ice." Tom loaded the small fridge with as much of the forty-eight bottles as would fit, leaving three out for immediate consumption.

"Here." Tom passed Matt a bottle of brew. He was reaching for one for himself when Jeff's phone rang.

"Can one of you get that?" Jeff asked

Matt flipped it open. "It's your lawyer."

"See what he wants?" Jeff shouted, unconcerned.

"Jeff Hardy's answering service; Matt Hardy speaking."

"He's in the... bathroom right now, can I take a message? Oh, I see. Yes I'll tell him right away... thank-you." Matt closed the phone, suddenly several shades paler.

"Matt? Wha'd he want?" Jeff came out, wearing his team X-treme drinking shirt.

"Well, somehow, the prosecutor managed to get a judge to agree to a quick trial date..."

"How? I thought court wasn't in session on Sunday?" Tom demanded

"I dunno, but they set a date." Matt looked up, fear in his eyes. "You go to trial on Tuesday."

"Oh, shit!" Tom whispered

Jeff didn't seem too worried about it. In fact, the other Hardys seemed more concerned than he did.

"You said not to worry, right?" Jeff plucked the bottle from Tom's hand. Twisting it open, he drank half of it in one go.

"We did..."

"Here's to us." Jeff held his half-empty bottle up. "We've beaten the odds before, now we're gonna do it again!"

"To us." They clinked bottles. For the next four hours, the three Hardys focused on only one thing... getting completely wasted. It might be their last opportunity to be together for a long time, so they were gonna enjoy it while it lasted. After Tuesday, things might never be the same.

TO BE CONTINUED

Here come da judge... what will happen next?

For those of you who've asked about Bunny, you'll be pleased to know that her lawyers and mine have agreed on a new temporary contract that will see her appear until the end of this story.