Hello,
I'm posting another chapter, again. :)
Have a nice time and enjoy.
~M

To answer to one of the reviews: yes, he is one manipulative guy, it would be weird if he wasn't.

Chapter 21

APOV

I didn't mean to stay there for the night. I wasn't sure what was happening after some time. I was in the great room and suddenly I was somewhere else and for a second, I didn't recognise my surroundings. It was early, but the sun wasn't up yet. I was angry only for a second for putting me to bed, because I noticed I was wearing my clothes from yesterday. He didn't touch me and that was comforting. I turned around and noticed a card with instructions and I was somewhat irritated. I had no better idea than to read it and just go with it. I knew he wasn't serious while talking about rules. He wasn't with me and I didn't want to bump into Mrs. Jones.

I had a shower, washed my hair, dried it, and put the clothes I found. Skinny jeans, t-shirt, and blue hoody. It looked so normal that I liked it. I checked my phone and it was just around half past five. I immediately texted Kate that everything was okay, so she wouldn't worry about me. I knew it was late, but it was better late than never. I spent some time alone. I checked if I had any emails and messages. I wrote to Paula to tell her that for that time everything was fine and that I missed her already. I lay on the bed and thought about the things that happened and all the time I spent in here. I wasn't only sure why he put me exactly in this room, but it didn't matter. He wrote he'd be home at around seven-thirty, so I decided to go to his library. I stopped at the door to the playroom, but the door was closed. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go in there. I went to the library and I felt like I was in the right place for me. Surrounded by books. I set the alarm on seven-thirty to remember to meet him in the kitchen. I wasn't used to eating breakfast that early, I was just going to have some coffee with him when he would get back.

I looked at the books and checked if there were some of those I liked to read. I was interested in English literature, but I preferred more action-packed books, or mysteries. I decided I wanted something short and not too complicated, so I took one of Agatha Christie's novels. She was always using one of the three patterns and if you knew them all, solving the rest of her mysteries was a piece of cake. I was reading some of the short stories when the alarm rang. I put it back on the shelf and went to the kitchen. Christian looked as if he'd just showered and was about to get ready for work.

"Hey, how you're doing?" I smiled at him and joined by his side. I saw Mrs. Jones and I greeted her.

"Good to see you Mrs. Jones." I always found her very interesting and she was always very nice to me.

"You too Ms. Steele. It's Taylor now, by the way." My eyes widened at that information.

"It might have slipped my mind to tell you." He said apologetically.

"Congratulations, then. May I have some coffee, please? Black, no sugar?" She nodded, and I knew Christian wasn't good that I didn't ask for anything to eat. "It's too early for me. I'll have something when I get home."

"I'll drive you, then to work and if you'd like I can pick you up in the evening." I was thinking about having a girls' night with Kate and Ava, which meant nowadays meant watching some film for children like Frozen or something like that. I would see him on Saturday and he was taking me to dinner to his parents' house on Sunday. We had plenty of time. Besides, I was still processing some things.

"I wanted to spend the evening with Kate, so maybe tomorrow. I texted her when I got up, so she wouldn't be worried."

"I talked to her when you fell asleep. She knew you were staying." It was a pleasant surprise that he remembered about that one detail.

"You seem to get on better than I remember."

"Some situations change people for better." Gail left, and we were on our own. I was slowly drinking my coffee and I was watching Christian. I shouldn't stay for the night, but on the other hand, I felt safe.

"Is something bothering you?" He could read me better although I was trying not to show that something is wrong.

"Why did you put me in there?" For a second he wasn't sure what I was talking about, and that meant that he didn't really think about it much.

"A habit, I suppose. I didn't mean anything by it." I knew it by the way he was reacting, but I wanted to push him a bit more.

"Well, if it wasn't accompanied by the card with instruction, I mightn't have felt uncomfortable." He looked at me like he wanted to assure me he didn't mean anything by it when we were interrupted by Taylor informing us, he was ready to go.

Christian left for a few minutes to brush his teeth and change into one of his suits. We got dressed and we left to the car. I wasn't in a mood to talk. I knew he was only half joking about putting some rules for us. He just couldn't totally give up control. It must've been hard for him to live with me for the past months, but I appreciated the effort. I also made a serious move, when I decided to take the risk and move back in. I didn't really want to talk because it wasn't the best time. I didn't want to distract him, and I wanted to be sure that I know what I want to say to him. He took me home and left.

"I'll call you tomorrow. Have a good day." I spontaneously kissed him on the cheek to say goodbye and left the car.

I wasn't alone in the house. Pregnancy wasn't easy for Kate and she left her work earlier than she originally planned. She was eating with Ava when I got there, and Elliot was leaving for work.

"I got your text, but Christian told me you fell asleep, so relax. How was it?" I shrugged because there wasn't much to say. We were talking, I finally saw most of his place and I woke up in the same room I hated for years.

"It was interesting. We talked a lot about different things, mostly about us. I just hope it'll be alright."

"Good to hear it. It won't be worse than the last time for sure, it's rather hard to beat that record of being an ass." Kate could be very right at some moments. We spent the entire day together and I knew that Ava was going to sleep early so technically I had the evening off. I was starting my work in a week and a half, and I was already bored. I knew I could find something to do like for instance looking for an apartment or catching up on reading. There were plenty of things I could do but all I was really capable to, was catching up on sleep.

I was sleeping well today, I didn't remember when it happened, but I was relaxed. I didn't have any disturbing dreams. I was at ease, until I woke up in the morning in that particular room. I texted Christian to tell him I had the evening off, so we could watch something if he wanted. I decided to go for a walk and I felt so small but at the same time I felt like I mattered. He picked me up and took me to his place. I was searching through the films and I couldn't find anything that would be cool. I smiled sadly when I saw new Star Wars. I saw that film with Mick and I really enjoyed it, although it wasn't the best in the franchise. I wanted to see Frozen with Ava, so I offered it to Christian.

"You want to watch Frozen with me? Are you okay?" I looked at him innocently. I had no problems with watching films like these. They were great not only for children.

"Why not? It might be fun. I'll make some tea and be right back. Want something?" He didn't understand my reaction why I was excited about it? Still, he seemed amused, so that was a good sign.

"Water if you don't mind." I left to the kitchen, but he followed me. I was humming 'Let it go' and I saw he didn't understand the phenomenon. I thought it might be fun experience for both of us.

"I can't believe you're singing a Disney song." I rolled my eyes. It was obvious I did.

"That's the thing. When you were little you were like 'just stop the singing, I want action' and today it's like 'oh my God, they're singing, yay!' Do you see the difference?" His expression was like, 'I have no idea what you're talking about, you nerd. Couldn't help it. From time to time, even I wanted some innocence.

"Not at all, but if you want to do it, I'm fine." I knew that he wanted to say something, but I've known him enough to say that he'd start the topic when he feels ready.

I was taken with the film although it was third or fourth time I saw it. I didn't care. I liked Olaf the snowman and his most memorable quote 'Some people are worth melting for'. I could only hope he was worth it. That film wasn't overly sweet, except for the ending of course. I was tired, and I knew where it was heading.

"I'm not letting you go today, please…" I turned to look at him and I knew he was tired as well. I knew he had some reason to ask me to stay.

"Okay, I'll stay, this time I'm texting Kate." I turned to do it, I didn't want to fall asleep like yesterday.

"Hungry?" It was too late for food. I was tired, and I was thinking about going to bed. I took our mugs to sink and wanted to head upstairs when he stopped me.

"I was thinking a lot lately about us…"

"As was I. What is it?" I didn't mean to sound irritated, but it wasn't the best time to talk for me. He came to hug me, and I let him. With each time it was becoming easier for both us. I felt so small in his arms, but I didn't move away. Suddenly I felt that the light mood was gone, and we were back to being serious. I knew that was going back to us. We had to face it.

"I was thinking if you'd like to move in with me. I know you're looking for some apartment and I don't like the perspective of driving you home every day. I'd like to have you closer." I needed to remind him that we weren't going to see each other every day.

"We used to live on different coasts and you're irritated now? Christian, I don't know… It's too early, you barely know me, I barely know you. Are you sure you want this? This one is a very big step." I would have to seriously consider this. I didn't want to jump in just like that.

"Yes, I am. I want you here with me." I knew that when he made up his mind, it was close to impossible to make him change it.

"I'll think about it. Is that okay for you?" I said still holding him. I had to make that decision carefully.

"For now, it is. Shower and bed? Tomorrow I can finally take you for a ride outside of the city, if you want." I didn't care at that point. I went upstairs and went straight to bathroom. He brought me his T-shirt and pants. They were obviously too big, but I was glad I could cover my legs and my belly. I didn't want him to see the marks. They didn't look bad, but the fact of their presence made me feel bad. They were in the past and the majority was almost gone. I knew they would be okay, after some time. I needed to be prepared for the next time with extra clothes.

I was surprised to see him on the bed waiting for me.

"I'm not going to sleep with you if that's what you're worry about. Unless you want me to." I wasn't sure. I was glad that he was respecting my privacy and that he wasn't too pushy. He was one controlling idiot, but at least now he was talking to me about it.

"I don't know if I mind." It felt so great to be in warm bed. I closed my eyes and I enjoyed the experience. He started stroking my head and another image popped in my head. It used to happen from time to time, and I pushed it out of my memories. "Don't stop it." I asked.

In woke in the middle of the night and found Christian sleeping next to me. It was an odd view because he looked so innocent and calm. He was defenceless, and I felt odd that I could finally see him like this. He was trying to be strong and controlled around me. I was trying to unwind and to show him in a casual way that I want to spend time with him, even on silly things. Doing something stupid from time to time, is not stupid at all and I wanted to show him that. I hugged him and thought about us. Part of me was worried that it was moving too fast, but I knew it wasn't the case. It took us months to be at this point. It took me a lot of time to allow myself to try with him. But should we be trying for the rest of our lives? I didn't think so. I stood up and took my bag. I found my notebook and started noting down the reasons if I should do it or not. I needed to get it out of my head and to put it in perspective as much as I could.

I was sitting on the bed and I was constantly looking at Christian sleeping next to me. I saw how much he was trying for me and I also knew that I didn't want to change him. The thing that hurt me most was that I knew that he didn't care then. I knew, he had feelings for me, I had some feelings as well. I was just afraid that moving in with him would be too big step for us and that's too early. I wanted to make this work somehow and I knew he was there to support me. I was only hoping I could support him too if he needed me. I wrote a few more points and put the notebook down.

I turned to look at him and I saw he was watching me carefully. His eyes were sleepy a bit, and he seemed very relaxed.

"Anastasia… Good morning. What's the time?" I checked, and it was almost nine. "It can't be that late." I passed him my phone to check by himself.

"It's been a while since I slept so well."

"That's a good info." I saw he was in shock that he slept well. There was a time when I had nightmares, so I learned to appreciate sound sleep.

"What have you been doing?" He pointed at my notebook.

"I was analysing if I should move in with you or not?" I saw the surprise that I was seriously considering his offer.

"In the morning?" I nodded. I wanted to start thinking about it as soon as possible rather than wait for some sort of epiphany.

"I just couldn't sleep at night and I wanted to do something productive."

"May I see the list?" I was a bit reluctant to show it to him because of a few reasons noted down there, but if I wanted to be honest with him, he deserved to know everything that was happening in my head. I saw he was very focused and took his time to familiarize with the list. I took a quick shower, but it didn't matter much because I had to put my yesterday's clothes. I could think under water and prepare myself mentally for the day. I needed to go back and pack a bag just in case. When I got back, he was still in the bed focused on the list.

"I know how it looks, I have more reasons not to, but I can give it a shot. Do you think we can work it out together somehow?"

"I think we can. I'll get someone to take your stuff as soon as possible. You have no idea how happy you made me." I pointed at the list where I wrote something very similar.

"I think I do."

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Till another update
~M