Face to Face

Part 21

"Aaron?" Jackson could see confusion in the blue eyes, and he was ready to help the young man anyway he could. Then suddenly it was gone and he the one left confused.

"C'mon," Aaron grabbed hold of Jackson's arm and pulled him towards the stairs.

"What?" Jackson couldn't believe that Aaron had been left so unaffected by his father's visit that he could just shrug it off and jump right into bed. But the teen had moved closer and had started to kiss him; making it quite plain what he wanted. Jackson pulled away, "What you doing?"

"What's it look like?"

"You think doing me's going to stop you thinking about what just happened?"

"Doing you! You make it sound cheap and...and nasty!" Aaron accused his eyes flashing angrily.

"And that's exactly what it would be if you used me to block out what you're feeling right now!"

"Forget it!" Aaron spun around and made for the door.

"Where you going?"

"The Woolpack!"

"No you're not!" Jackson pushed his way past the smaller man to stand between him and the doorway

"You think you can stop me?" Aaron challenged.

Jackson shook his head, "Going on experience, no, probably not! So to hell with you! If you want to go, fine. I'm going home." Stepping around Aaron he stalked to the table, snatched up his keys, then made his way outside to his van.

"See you around" Aaron sneered as he shut the door and walked towards the pub.

"I don't think so!" Jackson stated loudly before slamming his door and speeding off. But he'd only got a couple of miles down the road when reasoning kicked in, 'What the hell was that all about? How had he managed to let things spiral so out of control? How ridiculous a row was that anyway?'

'But it hadn't been a row it had been a reaction,' Jackson told himself. Aaron reacting badly to his father's visit and him being so thrown by that that he'd handled it equally as badly.

As soon as he could he turned his van around and headed back to Emmerdale. He was determined to get Aaron talking, even if it meant dragging him out of the damn pub to do so.

As he rounded the corner into the village he saw Aaron crossing the road seemingly on his way home. Head bowed, shoulders slumped, he was a picture of dejection. But on hearing the van the young man's head snapped up and Jackson saw relief spread across his face.

Jumping out of the now stationary vehicle Jackson gestured towards the cottage and barked, "Inside now!" He was still angry, at himself and at Aaron and just to prove the point further slammed the front door shut behind him. There was something very satisfying about the thud it made. Then he strode up to a waiting Aaron, got right in his face and demanded, "You ready to talk to me now?"

Aaron squirmed under Jackson's intense gaze, "What do you want me to say?"

Jackson took a long steadying breath then in a firm tone said, "Just tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

Aaron shrugged; he wasn't sure what was going on in there himself. He just knew he needed some answers, so after blowing out a shaky breath he looked at Jackson and tentitively asked, "What he said. Is it supposed to make it all alright?"

"No!"

"Is he expecting me to forgive him for what he did to Paddy? For all he times he smacked me in the mouth because that was easier to do than actually listen to me? For turning his back on me when I really needed him? Because I can't!"

"And you don't have to." Jackson soothed, although he knew that forgiving someone brought its own peace. So one far off day maybe?

""I don't want or need his approval to be with you. Not when I've fought against it for so long because of him. Not when other people helped get me through the nightmare and out the other side!"

Jackson nodded his understanding.

"So what do I do now? Tell myself it meant nothing and just forget it happened? Because I don't think I can."

Gripping Aaron gently by the forearms Jackson said, "No. You just accept that he's realised his mistakes too late in the day. You accept that if he's not in your life it's not because of anything you've done. And you stop feeling guilty about the way you feel about him."

"What do you mean?"

I know you haven't been able to hate him like you think you should. That doesn't mean you've betrayed anyone, not Paddy, not you and me. You don't love him for the things he's got wrong, you love him for what he got right, and he did get some things right, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Aaron breathed, suddenly aching for the time when his father could do no wrong in his eyes.

"And in the end it doesn't really matter what he said tonight, because it's why he came that's important, and that's what you have to hold on to." Jackson tightened his grip, wanting some indication that Aaron had understood the meaning of his words; finally it came in a barely discernable nod of the head. He knew Aaron wasn't convinced but given a little more time; he might see things a little more clearly.

He didn't want to think about it anymore, it was making his head hurt and anyway he owed Jackson an apology, so slowly meeting the older man's searching gaze Aaron said, "Sorry! About before. I was out of order."

"I could have handled things better." Jackson conceded.

"No, I shouldn't have ..."

"No I shouldn't have neither!" Jackson grinned, relieved to be putting right their earlier display of madness.

"Thanks. For coming back. I thought you'd finally had enough of me and all the shit that comes with me."

"No. Sometimes I just need a little space to think too."

"I'd understand. You know if it was all too full on. I mean this last week I've dragged you through one pile of crap straight into another."

Jackson laughed, that was one way of describing the events of the last week, "Well I think I'd prefer to look at it this way... that my life's more exciting with you in it. And there's been good bits too! Hasn't there?"

"Yeah, of course," Aaron readily admitted.

"Aaron this isn't going to go on forever! Things will settle down."

"Until the next time!" There was always something unpleasant waiting around the corner in Aaron's experience.

"Next time the world could turn on me! We all have these rocky patches and I know you'll help me through mine."

"You're that sure about me?" Aaron asked, certain he'd never given Jackson any cause to have such faith in him.

"Yes." Jackson smiled, he'd never been more sure of anything in his life. And to prove that he leant in closer to drop a single tender kiss on the younger man's mouth.

Aaron licked his lips and asked, "So what now?"

"You still want to go to the pub?"

"No."

"DVD?"

"No."

"Early night?"

Aaron grinned, "That depends!"

"On what?"

"On whether it's sleep you're after or something else!"

"That something else sounds good to me!"

TBC