(A very, very special thanks to Tiffany Grant for her help with Asuka's syncronization translation, and a few other grammatical problems, and the correct way to stomp on Kintaro's head! Domo Arrigato Tif-chan!)
"What was that?" Sage shouted.
As if in answer, another energy bolt hit the ship!
"Someone's firing at the ship!" Sai shouted.
"Oh thank you Sai, for that excellent grasp of the obvious." Kento said.
"But who?" Ran asked.
"We better find Anubis." Ryo said.
The group ran up to the upper decks, where Anubis and the others were also trying to figure out what was going on.
"Anubis! What's going on?" Ryo asked.
"I'm not sure myself. But I have a strong theory." Anubis said.
"Saban?" Rowen asked.
"Yes. This would most likely be Shuki's doing." Anubis said.
Just then Hariel ran in!
"What is it Hariel?" Anubis asked.
"Dark Inferno's detecting three high power levels headed this way, in the direction the energy bolts are coming from!" he said.
"They can't be Saiyans. The only Saiyans are on the ship." Anubis said.
"Guess again, Anubis." a voice said.
The group whirled around to find three Saiyans hovering over the ship. On the lower decks, the Z Fighters also spotted them.
One had long hair, almost as long as a Saiyan in SSJ3. The second resembled Goku, and the third was bald. It was obvious to the Z fighters who they were.
"Raditz." Goku said.
"That's right brother. Long time no see!" Raditz said.
"Don't forget me, Goku." Tales added.
"Hey Vegeta! Did you miss me?" the third said.
"Nappa!" Vegeta shouted.
He immediately began screaming and powered up his Galick Gun, which he followed up with a Renzoku Kikou Ha barrage. A large explosion went off, but when the smoke cleared Nappa was still there.
"That tickled." Nappa said.
"What are you doing here? You're all supposed to be..." Goku said.
"Dead? Well Shuki was nice enough to resurrect us so that we could take you out. You really should have stayed with him, on the winning side!" Raditz said.
"Prepare to meet your doom!" Tales added.
"What's dead?" Nappa asked.
Sweat drops promptly appeared on Raditz and Tales' foreheads.
"We'll explain later Nappa. But first we've got to exterminate these fools." Raditz said.
"Well how are you going to do that? May I remind you that we outnumber you?" Anubis said.
"We came prepared." Tales said.
He motioned his hand, and promptly groups of Quantrons, Piranhatron, Tengus, Cogs, Robot Warriors, Sting Wingers, Craterites, and Skugs began warping in all over the ship.
"Send in the clones!" Raditz ordered.
Promptly clones of all the Z fighters teleported on to the deck where the Z Fighters were.
"Behold your third season counterparts! They look like you, but they've got the worst voice dubbing on the planet!" Raditz said.
"Let's get these guys!" Goku shouted.
The Z fighters began powering up, while the clones did as well.
Meanwhile, on the upper deck...
"Anubis, they've taken over the ship! Now what?" Kale asked.
"I'm not giving up this ship without a fight!" Anubis said.
"So, what are you going to do?" Raditz asked the group.
"We will fight you to the last Saiyans!" Sage declared.
"Right!" Ryo shouted.
"Attention all anime characters! Our ship is under siege." Anubis said.
Elsewhere...
"Well Duh." Asuka said.
"We have but two options. We can abandon ship..." Anubis said.
Shinji started to flee, but Asuka grabbed him.
"Oh no you don't Shinji." she said.
"Or we can fight!" Anubis finished.
"Hitomi, did you bring our Gaean clothes with you?" Allen asked.
"Yes, they're in my duffel." she said.
"Come on Van. We must defend the ladies and destroy these evil beings!"
The two grabbed the duffel and ran off for the bathrooms. The Slayers also grabbed their outfits and headed for the bathrooms, as did the Kenshin cast.
"We've got to help the Saiyans. Moon Cosmic Power!" Serena shouted.
"Mercury Crystal Power!" Ami added.
"Mars Crystal Power!" Raye shouted.
"Jupiter Crystal Power!" Lita added.
"Venus Crystal Power!" Mina added.
"Uranus Crystal Power...Make Up!" Haruka shouted.
"Neptune Crystal Power...Make Up!" Michiru shouted.
"Pluto Crystal Power...Make Up!" Setsuna shouted.
"Saturn Crystal Power...Make Up!" Hotaru shouted.
"Moon Prism Power!" Reeny shouted.
In a matter of minutes the Sailor Senshi had transformed for battle.
"Armor of White Neo Wildfire! Tao Jin Jin!" Ryo shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Hardrock! Tao Gi Gi!" Kento shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Strata! Tao Inochi Inochi!" Rowen shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Halo! Tao Chi Chi!" Sage shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Torrent! Tao Shin Shin!" Sai shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Cruelty! Tao Chu Chu!" Anubis added.
"Armor of White Neo Corruption! Tao Ko Ko!" Kale shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Venom! Tao Tei Tei!" Sekhmet shouted.
"Armor of White Neo Illusion! Tao Nin Nin!" Dais shouted.
"Armor of the Gyne Wildfire! Tao Jin!" Sakura shouted.
"Armor of the Gyne Hardrock! Tao Gi!" Yuri shouted.
"Armor of the Gyne Strata! Tao Inochi!" Ayame shouted.
"Armor of the Gyne Halo! Tao Chi!" Suiren added.
"Armor of the Gyne Torrent! Tao Shin!" Ran finished.
(CUT TO ULTRA Split Screen of all of them as they armor up.)
"Okay, we've got a slew of indispensable minions, three Saiyans, and a bunch of clones. It can't get any worse than this." Anubis said.
"Prepare for Trouble..." a voice said.
"It just got worse." Dais said.
"And make it Double..." another said.
A familiar Meowth shaped balloon appeared in the sky.
"To protect the world from Devastation!"
"To Unite all Peoples within our nation."
"To Denounce the Evils of Truth and Love!"
"To Extend our Reach to the Stars Above."
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket! Blast off at the Speed of Light!"
"Surrender Now or Prepare to Fight."
"Meowth! That's Right!"
"What are you fools doing here?" Anubis demanded.
"YOU didn't invite us," Jessie said.
"So we decided to crash the party!" Meowth said.
"You're not crashing the party as long as we're here!" Ash said.
"Sakura, you and the girls go help Ash and the others. We'll handle everything else." Ryo said.
"Right." Sakura said.
She and the She-Ronins leapt down to Ash, Misty, and Brock's level.
"So what do you have in store for us this time?" Ash asked.
"Well, where this was a special occasion," Jessie said.
"We brought some very special Pokémon to deal with you!" James said.
"Go! Arbok!" Jessie shouted.
"Weezing!" James added.
"Charbok!" It said.
"Weezing!" It said.
"Those are the same ones you use every time." Ash commented.
"We're just warming up." Jessie said.
They threw out a few more Pokéballs, which revealed a Dratini, Dragonair, and Dragonite.
Ash quickly whipped out his Pokédex and pointed it at the Dratini, Dragonair, and Dragonite.
"Dratini. A Dragon Pokémon. It is very powerful and has few weaknesses."
"Dragonair. A Dragon Pokémon. The evolved form of Dratini. It is a powerful Pokémon and has no weaknesses."
"Dragonite. A Dragon Pokémon. The evolved form of Dragonair. This is the most powerful stage a Dragon Pokémon can reach. Proceed with extreme caution."
"And last but certainly not least, the Rarest of the Rare..." James said.
He threw out another, which revealed Mewto.
"Mewto. No data available."
"Dexter's Right. Dragon Types aren't weak against any type of Pokémon. They do have an advantage against themselves." Ayame said.
"How do you know that?" Ash asked.
"Because we're trainers too." Yuri said.
"So how do we beat these things?" Ash asked.
"I think we're going to have to..." Brock began, but then melted at the sight of the She-Ronins.
"We're taken." Suiren said.
"...Hit them with everything we have until they faint." Brock said.
Suddenly a group of indispensable Minions surrounded them!
"Now what?" Misty asked.
"Leave that to me. Hitmonlee, Machamp, Go!" Ayame shouted.
She launched two Pokéballs that revealed two weird looking creatures.
"Hitmonlee!"
"Machamp!"
Ash promptly pointed his Pokédex at them.
"Hitmonlee. A Fighting Pokémon. It uses its powerful legs to deliver kicking attacks."
"Machamp. A Fighting Pokémon. The Evolved form of Machoke. It uses its multiple arms to pummel it's enemies."
"Whoa! Those things are cool! Wanna trade?" Ash asked.
"No!" Ayame said. "Hitmonlee, Machamp, keep those guys busy while we deal with Team Rocket."
"Lee!"
"Machamp!"
The two began attacking the indispensable Minions.
"Okay, Let's go. Charmeleon, Vulpix, Flareon, Moltres, Go!" Sakura shouted.
A strange flame beast, a multitailed fox, a strange creature, and a flaming bird emerged.
"Moltres. No data available."
"Aw!" Ash said in disgust.
"I've got an idea. Suiren, I remember hearing that Dragonites can be knocked out by a Raichu." Ayame said.
"You got it!" she said. "Raichu, Pikachu, Zapdos, Magnamite, Electabuzz, go!"
"Raichu!"
"Pikachu!"
"Zapdos!"
"Magnamite."
Electabuzz made a sound like shivering.
"What's your plan?" Ash asked.
"We're gonna zap the Dragonite with everything we've got." Suiren said.
Got it." Ash said. "Pikachu, Thunderbolt!"
"Raichu! Thunderbolt! Pikachu! Thunderbolt! Zapdos! Thunder! Magnamite, Thundershock! Electabuzz, Thunderbolt!"
Suiren shouted.
"PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUU!" The Pikachus said.
"RAICHUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
"ZAPDOSSSSSSSS!"
The voltage slammed into the Dragonite, weakening it severely, but it failed to take it out. It called on Dragon Rage, knocking the Electric Pokémon away.
"I think it's time to fight Dragon with Dragon." Ran said. "Gyarados, Go!" she shouted.
A huge snake like creature emerged.
"AAAH! It's that thing again!" James shouted. "Weezing, Sludge Attack Now!"
"Weezing!" it shouted, firing a blast at Gyarados' eyes.
"Gyarados, wash it off!" she commanded.
Gyarados roared in pain.
"It's not responding!"
"I'll take care of it! Gooooooooooooooo Staryu!" Misty shouted.
"Hiya!" It said.
"Staryu, Water Gun! Wash the sludge off Gyarados' eyes!"
"Hiya!" It said.
In moments Gyarados could see again.
"Gyarados, Hyper Beam!"
Gyarados fired at Dragonite, but it dodged.
"We've got to keep it from moving!" Ran said.
"Let's do it Ayame!" Yuri shouted.
"Right." Ayame said.
"Bulbasaur, Go!" They shouted together.
Ash threw out his as well.
"Bulbasaur, Vine Whip, Now!" they said.
The Bulbasaurs tied up the large creature.
"Gyarados, Hyper Beam!" Ran shouted.
The blast took out the Dragonite.
"One down, four to go." Sakura said.
"How are we gonna beat all of them?" Ash asked.
"I've got an idea!" Brock said. "Zubat, go!" he shouted.
"Zubat, Supersonic!" he commanded.
Zubat managed to confuse the two Dragons and they began beating each other up.
"Okay, they should be weak enough to take them out." Brock said.
"Okay. Cubone, Go!" Yuri said.
"Cubone!" it said.
"Cubone, Bonemerang! Hit them both!" she said.
"Cu...bone!" it said, tossing its bone at them. It nailed both of them, which caused them to faint.
"Good work Cubone!" Yuri said.
"Now for Mewto. Scyther, Go!" Ayame said.
She revealed a weird Praying Mantis creature.
"Scyther!" it said.
"Scyther, Power up with Swords Dance and then Slash it!" she said.
"Scy...ther." it said as it began going into kata. It then charged at Mewto and Slashed at it. "Scyther!" It shouted.
It failed to hurt Mewto.
Hitmonlee and Machamp meanwhile had taken out all the Cogs and Tengus that attacked them and were now very weak.
"Hitmonlee, Machamp, return!" she commanded.
"Okay, now what do we do?" Ash asked.
"Let's try fire. Charmeleon, Go!" Sakura said.
"Charmeeeeeeeeleon." it said.
Ash brought his out as well.
"Charmeleon, Vulpix, Flareon, Moltres, Flamethrower Now!" she commanded.
"Charmeleon, copy them!" Ash said.
Sakura's Pokémon blasted Mewto, however, Ash's Charmeleon just stood there.
"Come on, Flamethrower!" Ash said.
Charmeleon blasted him in the face.
"Time out. Charmeleon, see if you can figure out why Ash's Charmeleon won't listen to him." Sakura said.
"Char." it said.
Immediately the two Charmeleons began communicating in their own interesting tongue which consisted only of different durations of the syllables and sections of their name.
"Charmeleon says that when he was Charmander he felt he needed you to be his trainer, but now that he's evolved he says he doesn't need your help anymore." Sakura said.
"But how come yours listens to you and mine doesn't?"
"Well Charmeleon is roughly the equivalent of a teenager in Pokémon terms. I guess because we're both teenagers ourselves, we get along. Of course you're only ten. To Charmeleon you're just a baby."
"Aw!" Ash said. "Can you ask it to help us out?"
After a few minutes of negotiating in Charmeleonish, Sakura replied, "Charmeleon says he'll help...This time."
Again the two called upon their Flamethrower Attacks. Brock called out his Vulpix to attempt to increase their "firepower", but it still was not enough.
Mewto used its Psychic Attack to levitate the Fire Types and slam them into the sides of the ship.
"We need an advantage." Sakura said.
"Advantage? We need a miracle!" Ran shouted.
Elsewhere on the ship, Utena Tenjou heard the commotion and spotted Jessie. She promptly grabbed Anthy and began running up the stairs.
(Absolute Destiny Apocalypse kicks up)
"Miss Utena, where are we going?" Anthy asked.
"To teach Jessie a lesson! No one badly dubs me and gets away with it!" Utena shouted.
"Hey Jessie! You can protect the world from devastation, but you sure can't bring it revolution!" she shouted, interrupting the match.
"Well if it isn't Utena Tenjuu. What do you want?" Jessie asked.
"It's Tenjou, baka, and you know damn well what I want." Utena said.
"If you mean a duel, you know I can't. Only those with the Rose Signet rings can participate. Fortunately, I just happen to know someone." Jessie said.
A pink haired girl in a male school uniform teleported in with a clone of Anthy.
"I am Utena Tenjuu, and I'm gonna whup your sorry ass." she said.
"Oh, is that so? Let's duel." Utena said.
(Prayer to Dios begins)
"Rose of the Noble Castle...Power of Dios that Sleeps within me...Heed your master...and come forth." "Anthy" said.
"Anthy" fell back onto Utena's shoulder, and the hilt of a sword appeared on her chest. Utena grabbed it.
"Grant me the power....To bring the world REVOLUTION!" "Utena" shouted, sounding a bit like a Valley Girl on the last word.
"You call that a summoning? Allow me to show you how it's done." Utena said.
"Rose of the Noble Castle...Power of Dios that Sleeps within me, Heed your master and come forth!"
Again Anthy performed the same motion.
"Grant me the Power to bring the world Revolution!" Utena shouted.
(Angelic Creation Namely Light kicks up)
The two leaped towards each other and locked swords in a duel that would decide who the real Utena was.
Elsewhere on the ship, Hitomi and the others were under attack by Quantrons. Amano tried to hold them off, but was knocked away. Dryden tried to negotiate with them, but he was also knocked away.
"Surrender or perish!" one said.
Suddenly a door opened and out stepped Allen and Van!
(Beginning of Flying Dragon kicks up)
"How dare you attempt to hurt the ladies! Take your punishment!" Allen shouted.
He uppercutted one of the Quantrons, sending him flying.
"Van, you take those. I'll handle these." he said, drawing his sword.
(Dance of Curse kicks up)
Van had already unsheathed his sword and locked it into a charging position, as he did in ep 2. He charged at the Quantrons and began hacking them to death in his usual style. Allen meanwhile was using the time-honored parry parry thrust thrust method.
Elsewhere on the ship...
(Heart of the Sword kicks up)
Kenshin and his group emerged from the bathrooms, ready to kick butt. Kenshin grabbed his sabakatou and flew at a Robot Warrior using the Ryu Tsui Sen maneuver, leaping into the air and slamming down with his sword. Another swung at him, but he sidestepped and whacked the back of his neck. Kenshin charged at yet another, in a blur nailing all nine vital points and taking him out.
Sanosuke meanwhile was beating the circuits out of other Robot Warriors, punching them in the chest, and then just as it connected, punching them again, causing them to shatter using the Double Limit. Misao meanwhile was tossing kunais at them left and right, taking out soldier after soldier. Kaoru was beating them senseless with her shinai. Heck, even Yahiko was dishing out the indiscriminate justice. But Saitoh refused to battle.
"Saitoh-san, you must help us! There are too many!" Kenshin said.
"There is no reason for me to fight. The battle does not concern me." he replied.
"But Saitoh-san, their master cares only about bettering himself, and cares nothing for those that serve him!" Kenshin shouted.
"In that case..." Saitoh responded.
(Howling Wolf kicks up)
He unsheathed his katana and jumped into a special fighting stance, looking almost like he was going to use his sword like a pool cue. He then charged at one, almost flying across the ground, and rammed his sword through him, knocking him overboard. He reassumed the stance as another leapt towards him, whom he slashed out of the air. He flew at another, and drove his katana through him.
"Aku, Soku, Zan." He replied to the helpless Robot Warrior.
Meanwhile, a group of them had managed to reach Kaoru and began wailing on her. Kenshin happened to see this. In an instant, his eyes glowed yellow, and he gripped the hilt of his Sabakatou tighter. He then began screaming at the top of his lungs again.
(Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu kicks up)
Kenshin charged like a madman at the Robot Warriors separating him from Kaoru, dismembering them left and right, until he finally reached Kaoru. He sheathed his sword, and began concentrating.
"Uh oh. They're in for it now." Sano said.
"AMAKAKERU RYUU NO HIRAMEKI!!!!" Kenshin screamed, as he unsheathed his sword at warp speed, displacing the air, which drew the warriors towards him. He then made a full circle and whacked them with the sword again, and nailed one of them, which caused it to fall and in turn knock out the one next to it, and the remaining soldiers began falling like dominos. Kenshin then returned to his normal self and looked at the bizarre spectacle he had caused.
"Oro." he said.
(Get Along kicks up)
"Fire...BALL!" Lina shouted, incinerating a group of Piranhatron.
"Good shot Miss Lina!" Amelia said.
"There's way to many of them!" Gourry shouted.
"I'll take care of that! Elmekia Lance!" Zel shouted, nailing more of them with bolts of Spirit energy.
"Flare...ARROW!" Lina shouted, blasting more of them.
"Rondo Burst!" Amelia shouted, causing explosions to erupt around the soldiers.
"Digger Volt!" Lina shouted, blasting them with electrical energy.
"Diem Wind!" Amelia shouted, knocking a few overboard.
"Earth Beneath Me, Submit to my will! Stone Spiker!" Zel shouted, causing spikes of earth to rise from the ocean floor, impaling various others.
As the Slayers continued to blast Sabanians into oblivion, the Skugs were dealing with the Senshi.
"Those things are ugly!" Lita shouted.
"Tell me about it!" Raye shouted as she began powering up.
"Mars Celestial Fire..." she began, as the symbols for the ancient Chinese elements appeared around her. "Ignite!" She launched a series of flaming rings, which struck their targets and destroyed a group of them.
"Jupiter Thunderclap Zap!" Lita shouted, sending a bolt of electrical energy into another, causing it to explode.
A drop of water appeared before Ami.
"Shine Aqua Illusion!" she shouted, causing various Skugs to be frozen solid.
Haruka charged towards the now frigid Skugs and prepared her weapon.
"Space Sword...Blaster!" she shouted, causing them to shatter.
A wave crashed. Michiru held her hands above her head.
"Deep...Submerge!" she shouted, sending a planet shaped energy bolt flying at another Skug.
Setsuna grabbed her staff, and powered up.
"Dead Scream." she said, and an energy bolt flew at another Skug, nailing it.
"This isn't working! There's way too many of them!" Ami shouted.
"Then we must take the battle from Skug to Skug." Setsuna said.
Grabbing her staff, she proceeded to bash them in with the large key shaped weapon. Haruka nailed others with her Space Sword. A Skug prepared to hit Setsuna, but it was blasted to atoms! She looked over to see two girls, one blonde and one with purple hair.
"Need some help?" Kei said.
"That would be nice!" Haruka said.
Kei aimed her gun at Skug after Skug, and began firing like a madwoman, also succeeding in making huge dents in the ship's structure. Yuri meanwhile took her energy sword and began slashing them to death while Haruka also joined in the mass devastation. Hotaru also stepped in and began hacking them in with her Glaive. In a matter of minutes, the Skugs were all dead, the group tired, and that section of the ship had serious blaster damage courtesy of Kei.
Meanwhile...
A group of very weak Ronins and Warlords were standing over a group of Sting Wingers and Craterites, which had been charred, frozen, soaked, stoned, shocked, impaled, poisoned, and blasted, though not in that order.
"Well, that was easy." Kento said.
"Easy? We were outnumbered almost fifty to nine! If it wasn't for our almighty armor, they would have finally succeeded." Rowen added.
"True. But now we must hurry and prep the mecha for launch." Anubis said.
"Why?" Ryo asked.
"Typical Sabanian tactics. 1. Wear down the heroes with indispensable minions. 2. Attempt to kick their sorry asses with a heavy attack." Anubis replied.
A crew member ran out.
"Sir! We've just detected a small mecha force headed this way! There appear to be three of them!" he shouted.
"Three? All that Saban sent was three? This is gonna be fun." Anubis said. "How long until they get here?"
"ETA, twenty minutes."
"Destonus has postponed this fight long enough. Bring in the musicians!" Raditz commanded.
Promptly various musicians with Casio keyboards warped in.
"Hit the demo button!" Raditz shouted.
All the musicians hit the demo button and really bad fight music began.
"Prepare to be blasted into another dimension!" the Fake Goku said. "Kamehameha!" it shouted, sending a fireball screaming at Goku.
"Kamehameha!" Goku shouted.
The two blasts passed through each other and hit their targets, but oddly, neither one felt the impact.
"Something's up. I can't hurt him and he can't hurt me. Oh well, better go for close range." Goku said.
Goku and his clone began fighting each other, but neither one could land a blow on the other because being the same person, they knew what the other was going to do before they did it.
Vegeta meanwhile was firing every energy bolt he had at his clone, which failed to harm it.
Every DBZ warrior was at an extreme disadvantage. They could not harm their clones with any ki blasts, and they could not land a single blow for they knew every move they did. Just then, Goku's clone began focusing.
"Kaioken! Times twenty!" it shouted.
"Wait a second! These guys must not have achieved the form yet!" Goku exclaimed.
"Which means..." Vegeta said impatiently.
"We can whup their butts!" Trunks figured out.
Goku immediately transformed to SSJ1, and began powering up a Cho-Kamehameha, but it still failed to harm his clone.
"This is nuts!" Krillin exclaimed.
"Kakorott, may I make a suggestion?" Vegeta asked.
"Sure, what?"
"It appears that we are equal to these warriors because they are US. If we were to switch adversaries, there is a chance we could win." Vegeta explained.
"Hey, that just might work." Goku said.
"Uh oh." Raditz said.
Vegeta Renzoku Kikou Haed every last musician and their keyboards, whipped out a Hiranobu Kageyama CD and handed it to the music director. In moments We Gotta Power Started Playing.
"Die you impostor of Kakorott! Galick Gun...FIRE!" Vegeta screamed, sending an energy bolt slamming into the clone, blasting a hole through his chest. He then followed it up with a barrage of Renzoku Kikou Ha, which blasted off various body parts. He then fired a low power blast at his head, knocking it off and then blasting it to atoms in mid air with another blast.
Goku landed blow after blow on the fake and weaker Vegeta in SSJ, and then nailed it a Cho-Kamehameha, reducing it to atoms.
Tien powered up a low power energy blast and let it loose on the Chiaotzu clone, blasting it to atoms as well. Chiaotzu tried to do the same, but he got nailed by them, after Tien's clone multiplied. Suddenly the sun was blocked, casting a familiar shadow on the evil Tiens. It was that of Piccolo. He split into three and began punching and kicking them to death, causing Tien to reform into one. All three Piccolos triangulated around him and began powering up.
"Special Beam Cannon...FIRE!" the Piccolos shouted, which fired screw blasts that drilled through Tien's clone, causing him to be cut neatly in three.
Yamcha prepared to use his Wolf Fang Fist, and charged at Krillin's clone knocking it away. He then sent a Spirit Ball high into the air on an angle to Krillin's clone. Piccolo then leaped into the air and spiked it, causing it to slam into Krillin's clone, destroying it and leaving a large hole in the deck of the ship.
"Ahhh! Look what they're doing to my ship! This is worse than EVA ep 8!" Anubis shouted.
"It can't be that bad. You said this thing could take the impact of several Spirit Bombs." Kale said.
"True, but I don't know the equivalent of that in other series. Which means that we're at a disadvantage." Anubis said.
Finally, Krillin readied a Destructo Disk, and sliced through Yamcha's clone, destroying it.
"Raditz, you are running out of time! Destroy them now!" a voice commanded through his Scouter.
"As you wish, Master Shuki." he replied.
Nappa powered up a mouth blast, knocking Krillin, Chiaotzu, Piccolo, Tien, and Yamcha through the center of the ship, leaving only Goku, Vegeta, and Trunks.
"Well, now it's time to finish this. We have a special surprise for you." Raditz explained.
"A short time before you left us, Shuki managed to extract a sample of Kakorott's DNA. It's...Oh damn! I forgot the whole thing." Raditz said.
He produced a copy of the episode script and began reading.
"The Lamarkian aspect of Saiyan DNA allowed him to isolate the sequence responsible for a particular process, and then added it to us when we were revived." he finished.
"And your point is?" Vegeta asked, getting impatient.
"We now have the power to destroy you!" Raditz shouted.
He Tales and Nappa charged at the three, Tales and Raditz going after Goku, and Nappa going for Vegeta and Trunks.
"I've been lookin' forward to kicking your butt Vegeta." Nappa replied.
"I'm sure you were." Vegeta said, powering up an energy bolt and firing it at Nappa. It failed to knock him away.
"I'm gonna put the smack down, on your candy ass, and that's the bottom line, 'cause Nappa said so!"
Vegeta became slightly ticked off and began punching and kicking Nappa, who blocked every blow.
"No, no Vegeta, you're doing it all wrong. It's more like this!" Nappa shouted, reaching back and slugging Vegeta, sending him flying into the front of the ship, leaving a large dent. Anubis could not bear to look.
Trunks leapt at Nappa with his sword, but he backhanded him away. This enraged Vegeta even more.
"How dare you attack my son...You won't escape...MY WRATH!!!" He screamed, going SSJ1.
He powered up a Galick Gun attack and blasted Nappa, sending him flying towards the bow, leaving another large dent in the ship. An explosion resulted.
"That should teach you to mess with a Super Saiyan." Vege said.
Suprisingly Nappa was still standing.
"What? How is this possible? You couldn't have survived my attack!" Vegeta said. "Unless..."
Nappa began laughing, and powering up as he did so. He began screaming at the top of his lungs, and every muscle on his body began bulging out, and Vege could see every vein on his body. Vegeta began to sense a tremendous amount of energy coming from Nappa.
"It isn't possible!" Vegeta said in disbelief.
"It is Now!" Nappa shouted.
A golden aura formed around him and he sprouted golden spiked hair.
Vegeta stood in disbelief as Nappa began beating him senseless, knocking him out of SSJ. He grabbed Vegeta by the neck, leaped into the air, and began spinning around, piledriving Vege into the deck, damaging the ship even more. As a badly bruised and weakened Vegeta struggled to get up, Nappa grabbed him and performed the Stone Cold Stunner on him. He then picked up Vegeta and began head butting him. He tossed Vege away, who bounced several times before coming to rest a few feet away.
"I know what you need Vegeta...a nice Trip to another Dimension! One way, of course!"
(Heart of the Sword kicks up)
He began charging at him in preparation for a body slam, however a SSJ1 Trunks drove his sword into Nappa's chest, and back flipped, slashing him, and perfectly landing beside his dad, whom he grabbed and shot into the air just as Nappa reached him, causing Nappa to crash into one of the walls, damaging the vessel even more. He tossed his sword into the air, and it landed perfectly in its sheath, just as Nappa began charging at them. Trunks held out his arms, did some strange motions, and then held them out again, sending an energy bolt screaming into Nappa, knocking him away again. He leaped into the air, and came crashing down on Nappa, however his sword broke in the process. He kicked off Nappa's chest, causing the lummox to fall over, and landed nearby.
"Hiko! I need another sword!" Trunks shouted.
A mantled individual opened a case full of sabakatous, katanas, Trunks' Swords, Naginatas, No-Daichis, man-catchers, kasari-gamas, and Chin Lin Tous, grabbed a sword, and tossed it to Trunks. Trunks resumed his attack on Nappa. However Nappa was still strong, and began beating up Trunks relentlessly. Trunks could not take it.
"Now, to get rid of you too!" Nappa shouted.
"That's what you think, Nappa." Vegeta said.
Still badly injured, he had managed to get to his feet. Somehow he transformed to SSJ.
"Uh oh." Nappa said.
"Have fun Nappa...IN HELL!" he screamed.
He called upon the Big Bang Attack, blasting Nappa to kingdom come.
(Aoi Hekireki kicks up)
Meanwhile, Goku was fending off the assault of the two Saiyans. Raditz had stood back while Tales powered up to SSJ1 and began beating up Goku.
"That does it." Goku said.
He powered up to SSJ3, and proceeded to beat the living Daylights out of Tales.
"Cho-Kamehameha!" Goku shouted, blasting the weaker Saiyan out of his alternate form. As he struggled to get up, Goku fired off a Solar Flare, blinding Tales, and held his hands above his head.
"The Earth...The Seas...The Trees, and all the creatures on the planet. For all the warriors across anime, for otaku everwhere...lend me, just a little of your power."
A large energy bolt appeared in his hand, which he tossed at Tales, causing him to explode.
"Now for you brother." Goku said.
The rest of the Z fighters, down but not out, gathered with him.
"Raditz, I have had enough of this! Use the potion and stomp them flat!" Shuki commanded.
Raditz produced a potion from his armor, which caused him to become extremely large!
"Now what do we do?" Krillin asked.
"You'll do nothing!" Zhane shouted.
Suddenly the Mega Voyager, Mega Winger, and Delta Megazord landed on the front of the ship, causing it to list severely to the front. .
"This is getting worse and worse. Deploy the energy battlefield!" Anubis shouted.
An energy field flew out and the Mecha found they could stand on it. Elsewhere on the ship, Asuka and Shinji viewed the situation.
"What are those things? Angels?" Shinji asked.
"Are you Stupid? They won't arrive for another sixteen years, besides, this is the wrong dimension Dummkopf!" Asuka shouted.
"Well we can't just stand here and watch! We've got to do something!" Shinji said.
"Shinji...The EVA's are below deck, right?" Asuka asked.
"Yeah, why?" Shinji replied.
He heard Asuka mumble something in German, and turned to see her running off.
"Wait for me!" He shouted.
Asuka ran off to the lower decks, with Shinji following. The mecha pilots from Nadesico followed them, as did Van and Allen. Hariel also ran down there.
"Asuka wait up!" Shinji whined.
"Mach Schnell!* We've got to get these things online before they trash the ship any more!" she shouted. "Wait here."
Asuka disappeared, and Shinji looked behind the stairs to find Asuka changing into her plug suit.
"Ahh! Don't peep you pervert! Why do all boys have to be such perverted jerks?" she shouted.
Minutes later Shinji had also changed into his plug suit and the two headed for their EVA's, which had been locked in.
Shinji climbed into the Entry Plug of EVA-01, which closed up and slid into the back of the living weapon.
"This thing smells worse than usual...Like someone threw up in here." Shinji said.
He then heard some familiar moaning. He turned around to find Misato, Celena, and Pen Pen with bad hangovers.
"What are you doing in here?" Shinji screamed.
"I think we're gonna be sick." Misato said.
"Wait! You can't throw up in here! You better get out of this thing soon or else your thought noise will screw up the synchronization!" he shouted.
"We couldn't see where we were going." Celena explained.
"What on Earth possessed you to come in here?" Shinji shouted.
"We were going to go into the Red One, but it was occupied." Celena explained.
Up on deck, the She-Ronins and Pokémon stars were still fighting against Mewto.
"Something's up." Misty said.
"What's that?" Brock asked.
"We're almost halfway through the fight and Psyduck hasn't leaped out." Misty said.
"Maybe Psyduck got tired of you yelling at him and he finally left." Ash said.
Misty promptly bashed him on the head.
"I wonder where it could be..."
Meanwhile, back down in the Mecha Bay...
(Theme from JAWS kicks up)
Asuka sealed herself inside EVA-02 and prepared to begin the powerup sequence when she had a feeling that something was in there with her.
"Okay, Shinji, you can come out now." she replied. Nothing happened.
"Shinji, it isn't funny." Asuka said. Again nothing happened.
"Shinji?" Asuka said. She was scared, very scared.
"This isn't funny!" she shouted.
"Psyduck!" it shouted, popping up in front of Asuka.
Asuka began screaming a loud, vocal cord wreaking scream, which was heard by the entire ship.
"Psi yi yi!" It replied.
"I think someone found Psyduck." Misty said.
The trio rushed below deck to find the entry plug open and Asuka screaming at Psyduck!
(Asuka Strikes kicks up)
"Was macsht du in meinem Eva? Wie hast du hier drinne, du ärgerliche Kreatur geworden? Steig aus! Jetzt!**" she screamed in German.
"Hey Asuka, I think Psyduck likes you." Ash said.
Asuka became extremely ticked off.
"Du Abschaum saugende, Irrigator trinkende, Hämorrhoiden auf dem Mastdarm des Universums***!" Asuka screamed in German as she stomped on his head, "Die, Die, Die, Die, Die!"
She then promptly drop-kicked Ash across the deck.
"And stay away!" she finished.
Asuka leapt back into EVA-02 while Van and Allen arrived and hopped into their Guymelefs. They placed their arms through the controls and sealed themselves inside. Hariel leapt into Dark Inferno. The Nadesico crew leapt into their mecha.
"Open outer doors." Anubis commanded.
A hatch opened at the front of the ship, and the pool in the rear drained, and a hatch opened. A pair of Rails emerged.
The pool in the front also drained, and Sherazade was lifted up through the hole on an elevator. Van locked into the Catapult, and was launched, from which he quickly changed to Dragon Mode and flew up and used the Transform landing to reach it. The Aestivalis units were also launched the same way.
"LCL Einlaß! Anfang der Bewegung. Bestätigt. Anfang des Nervanschlusses. Bestätigt. Anfang der Herzmonitor. Bestätigt. Synchro-start, jetzt!"****" Asuka said in German.
Meanwhile Shinji did the same, with his EVA configured in Japanese.
The boarding platform moved away from the head of EVA-01, and it moved on tracks along the ground until it was directly below the rail system. All sorts of bolts were removed, and EVA-01 shot up from the lower level to the top deck. He walked over to the energy platform. Minutes later Asuka's EVA-02 fired up as well.
"What are those things?" Zhane wondered.
Allen prepared his sword for battle. Van reached to the back of Escaflowne and pulled its sword free, and held it in front of him, causing the blade to extend to its maximum length as he prepared to fight. The left Shoulders of EVAS 01 and 02 opened up, and they pulled out their progressive knives for combat.
The Delta Megazord fired at the mecha, but the two EVAs got in the way of its line of fire, and generated energy fields around themselves, preventing them from striking.
"What the? How?" Zhane said.
"It's an AT Field. You can't penetrate it with your conventional weapons. I suggest that you get out of here before we kick your butt." Asuka said over his communications equipment.
"We're not leaving! Mega Voyager, go get that Red thing! Delta Mega, take out that Purple one! I'll handle the others." Zhane said.
Delta Mega began firing at EVA-01, which back flipped out of the way after sheathing the progressive knife. A rifle emerged from the deck of the ship, which Shinji grabbed. When the target was in the center, he fired, blasting the thing to atoms. Asuka moved in on the Mega Voyager, but it disarmed her, causing the prog knife to fall on the deck, and annoying Anubis even more. She grabbed her lance, and began beating the slag out of the thing. She prepared to finish it off, but suddenly she happened to glance at the cockpit. A shadowy figure stared at her, radiating an aura of pure terror. Asuka could not move. For one of the first times, she was petrified. The Mega Voyager disarmed her once more and began tossing her EVA like it was a rag doll. She cried out for Shinji to help. Shinji ran towards the opponent in EVA-01, but it knocked him away. It swung with its sword, but Shinji blocked with the progressive knife. Mega Voyager tackled EVA-01, slamming it into the hull of the ship. It leapt into the air, and began stomping down on it. Inside, Shinji tried to fight back. He wanted to run.
"I mustn't run away...I mustn't run away. I've got to help Asuka. AAAAAAAH!" he screamed.
(Ode to Joy kicks up)
Instantly the sync monitor maxed out and the eyes of EVA-01 glowed white. Its wounds healed. The thing opened its mouth and roared. In perfect sync with the music the Evangelion began beating the crap out of the Mega Voyager. It leapt onto it and knocked it to the ground. EVA-01 grabbed the progressive knife and began jabbing it into Mega Voyager's chest. EVA-01 picked it up and hurled it into the air. From below deck a twin bladed spear rose up, which Shinji grabbed.
"The Lance? How come I never get to use the Lance? Does everyone love Wondergirl more than me?" Asuka complained.
Several girls, including one Chinese girl wearing a Rei Ayanami T-shirt promptly walked out and shouted, "Yes!"
"Damn Megumi..." Asuka grumbled. When she looked up she noticed that the weapons of a ship and several people on the ship, including the Rei fans, had leveled bazookas at EVA-02.
"I mean, Megumi Rules! Yeah!" Asuka said.
Shinji turned to Asuka.
"Would you like to throw the Lance?" Shinji asked sarcastically.
"Oh, yeah sure." Asuka said.
Asuka took the weapon from Shinji.
"DIE You Verdamten Schweinhund!*****"
Asuka reached back and hurled the Lance of Longinus at Mega Voyager, destroying it.
Elsewhere, a severely unarmed Mega Winger duked it out with Van and Allen. It caught the sword from the Mega Voyager and began dueling with them, but Allen's superior swordsmanship quickly disarmed it. Van then swung with Escaflowne's sword, destroying the mecha, but not before Zhane leapt out.
"I'm outta here!" Raditz shouted.
He tried to flee, but he was grabbed by a large Red arm!
"And just where do you think you're going?" Asuka asked.
"We did it! Ha ha!" Shinji exclaimed.
Zhane was not about to be out done.
"Prepare to perish." he said.
Instantly the three Mecha appeared, along with every single Ranger Zord from MMPR to PRiS.
"Not again!" Anubis shouted.
"I call on Super Ultra Mega Ridiculous Ludicrous Superfluous Dino Thunder Ninja Zeo Turbo Astro Delta Voyager Winger What the Hell Is that Zord Power!"
The multiple mecha mashed themselves together, forming an extremely messed up Megazord.
"Mien Gott in Himmel!******" Asuka exclaimed.
"Now you're doomed. This thing will destroy you all!" Zhane exclaimed.
"Can someone go get the Positron Cannon again?" Shinji asked.
"How are we supposed to destroy that monstrosity?" Allen wondered.
From inside their Aestivalis units, Akito, Ryoko, Hikaru, and Izumi looked at the huge thing looming over them.
"That thing's huge! How are we supposed to destroy that?" Akito said.
"Easy. We hit it as hard as we can! Let's get it girls!" Ryoko shouted.
The three charged at the monstrous thing, but it grabbed on to Raditz and reached its leg back and punted, causing the mecha to crash into Akito.
"This doesn't look like the best ending to my story!" Hikaru complained.
"Our plan to hit it hard, sent us a couple yards." Izumi said. She began laughing.
"There's gotta be a way to defeat it...Man, I wish Gai was here."
Suddenly a voice came over Akito's communications system!
"Don't worry, I'm with you. Don't give up yet."
Out of the sky a blue Aestivalis soared in!
"Ruri, who's that?" Yurika asked.
"It appears to be the Aestivalis of Mister Jiro Yamada."
"But isn't he dead?" Minato asked.
"That's Gai Daigohji, and heroes don't ever die, they always come back, better than ever! YEAH!" he shouted.
"Gai! You're back!" Akito exclaimed
"Did I ever leave? Now let's go kick the butt of that Blankety Blank with our Space Ganger Super Armaments Module!"
A message came over Gai's radio from the Nadesico.
"For the last time hero, this ship doesn't stock any of those Gangergiki things!" Seiya shouted.
"Just send him the B weapons module for Unit 1." Akito said.
"Fine, just don't break it this time!"
From out of the sky a pod fell, Gai flew up to recieve it.
"Okay, the command, as usual, is CROSS CRASH!" Gai shouted as his Aestivalis joined with the weapons system.
"Okay you Blankety Blank, let's see how you handle one of my Gai Killer Moves!" Gai shouted.
"Oh dear." Akito said.
Gai flew at the thing firing all of his weapons, none of which seemed to do much damage to the large Mega Megazord. He then reached back with its fist.
"GAI SUPER UPPER!" he shouted. But the large machine reached back with its fist and knocked Gai clear into orbit.
"Idiot." Ruri said.
"We need a Miracle!" Shinji shouted.
Asuka's picture appeared on Shinji's viewscreen.
"We need a miracle. You need a brain." Asuka said.
Hikaru appeared.
"I'm sure if we all put our heads together, we can come up with a killer plan!" Hikaru shouted.
Izumi appeared.
"Who needs a plan, when we both have a man?" Izumi said, then laughed again.
"Well it looks like I'm gonna have to be the one to save the day considering I'm the only one with a brain here." Asuka said
"Hey!" Shinji, Izumi, and Hikaru said.
Next Ryoko appeared.
"Nobody yells at my team and gets away with it!" she asked.
"Yeah!" Izumi and Hikaru said. "You tell her Ryoko!"
Izumi began to laugh as Asuka and Ryoko bitched each other out over Shinji's comm console.
"Hey, can someone get me down from here?" Gai said.
Shinji had had enough. "SHUT UP!"
All the windows closed.
"Now, to take care of this problem. Anubis, raise the Positron Cannon." he said.
The Positron Cannon rose from below decks and was pointed directly at their opponent. Shinji got behind it.
"We must hit it with everything we have. It is time for the Mecha Armor." Anubis said.
Just Communication kicked up yet again as the nine fantastic battle armored samurai powered up into their Gundam suits and began the kata motions again. Hariel locked the pylons into position, and began charging.
"The Earth...The Seas...The Trees, and all the creatures on the planet. Lend me, just a little of your power."
" A mere component of the Lord of Nightmares could release understanding upon the world, frozen into the dark knife of annihilation, With our power, with our essence, together, we can destroy all who cross our path, Spirits of the gods, deliver your smiting blow..." Lina began.
"Now! Anubis shouted.
"Flare Up...NOW!" Ryo screamed.
"Iron Rock Crusher!" Kento added.
"Arrow Shock...wave!" Rowen shouted.
"Thunder...Bolt Cut!" Sage shouted.
"Super Wave Smasher!" Sai shouted.
"Quake With Fear!" Anubis shouted.
"Black Lightning Slash!" Kale shouted.
"Snake Fang Strike!" Sekhmet shouted.
"Web of Deception!" Dais shouted.
"Rage of the Dark Inferno!" Hariel shouted.
Goku launched the Spirit Bomb, while Lina finished the Laguna Blade, which was followed up by a blast from the Positron Cannon, which drained most of the ship's power. Asuka helped out by grabbing a pair of machine guns and bazookas and firing them non-stop. The attacks hit the thing and blasted it to kingdom come as usual. Raditz realized he was outnumbered and overpowered and flew off, causing everyone to breathe a sigh of relief.
But First...What the hell Asuka's screaming:
*Hurry Up!
**What are you doing in my EVA? How did you get in here, you annoying creature! Get out! Now!
***You scum sucking douche drinking hemmroid on the Rectum of the Universe!
****LCL filling Entry Plug! Beginning activation Sequence, Confirmed, Opening nervelink channels, Confirmed. Engaging heart monitor. Confirmed. Syncronization Start! (Thank you thank you thank you Tif-chan!!)
*****Dammned Son of a Bitch!
******If you can't figure out what she's saying, well...You need severe help.