Here we all go another update for you all, I can;t thank my beta enough for offering to go through this for me :) I owe you so much.
Carrick's POV
I walk back into our family room, and look over at my children; I let them know that Lily is off to a specialist center to get be checked, and that Sawyer is going to make sure Lily gets there safely without causing issues for her parents. Something isn't right with that girl, not at all. I look over at Christian and Ana as I sit down and pull Grace closer. I know something has upset her, and I know it's got to do with the chain that Christian was wearing.
As I look over at them, I notice Ana standing between his legs. She has her back to his chest, and he his arms wrapped around her. I see that hers on top of his and they both seem to be staring out the window, It's dark now so I'm not sure what they're looking at, but they are in their own world.
When I first saw those pictures I couldn't believe my son would do that to Ana. He promised me years ago that it was only Ana and would only be Ana for the rest of his life. I know the last three years haven't been easy on him with her being away at college and I honestly had concerns that this sort of thing would happen. Not concerned that long-distance relationships can't work, because we know they can. Christian has never really stuck to anything except rowing until she came into his life. They built GEH together and Ana is like a daughter to me, and seeing her so hurt when I went to my office. It's amazing how much damage technology can do and if it wasn't for Grace noticing his scars missing and the surgical scar, we knew it wasn't Christian.
I'm happy it wasn't true, but it will test them as well as their trust and faith in one another.
I look at Elliot our eldest; the one who has a different girl every night is finally settling down too. It's nice to see. Christian and Ana don't even seem to notice anyone leaving until Kate places a kiss on her forehead. I see Ana look up and smile, but it's not one of Ana's normal smiles. It's apparent that she is hurting...we all are hurting.
When I look at Grace, I see where the tears have fallen as she looks at our son with his wife. I lift her chin up and give her a kiss on the lips, before gently wiping away the tears. I know she will tell me why they there, we hide nothing from each other, nothing at all.
"Christian, Ana darling can we talk?" I hear from my wife, my best friend, and my soulmate. I watch as the two move and turn to look at us. They look like hell, but then again they been through hell and back tonight.
"Yes, mom." I hear my son quietly answer. It's obvious that tonight's turn of events has rocked their foundation. They are strong enough to get through this, and they will become stronger.
"The necklace darling." Is all she says. I feel she wants to say more but doesn't as I see my son look down at his wife.
Christian's POV
I look down at my wife, and she nods her head. It's my necklace so I should be the one to explain it. I'm sure my mom knows why I wear it and its meaning.
"Last year, several weeks before Ana's summer break, we found out that there was a bad batch of the birth control that she gets. We went to Dr. Green, she ran some tests, and we found out Ana was pregnant. When she did the ultrasound to find out how far along she was a rather significant complication showed up," I confided. This is not easy to talk about, but my parents have been through this situation before so it's a bit easier talking to her.
"The baby...he had implanted in one of my fallopian tubes." My darling wife murmurs. I hear the pain in her voice. She had no control over this and there was nothing we could do differently. "Dr. Greene suggested I have some more tests to be sure, but we had no choice but to abort."
My dad looks at us with such sadness, "Why not tell us?"
"You guys were away, and honestly we really didn't know what to do or how to feel. We just knew we needed time, so we went on vacation." How do I tell them we weren't sure how they'd react and we didn't want to dredge up painful memories for them.
"Son we would have returned no matter what. We're family." My father declares. I know we're family, but somethings are just hard to deal with.
My mother speaks to Ana in her gentle, loving way... "How far along were you darling?"
"I was 14 weeks. I never had any morning sickness. Nothing to make me think I was pregnant. I had been feeling extra tired but at that time I was working hard to get a heavy assignment load completed and prepare for finals. I just thought it was due to that." Mom comes to sit down beside us and pulls Ana into a hug. It hurt at the time, but we also know it could've been worse had it ruptured. We're here, still together, and we've been told that when we're ready to try it shouldn't cause any problems.
"So, the necklace is your way of keeping him with you?" My mother questions. Her voice is caring but understanding at the same time. I know we both should have told them, but we had agreed to move on and not dwell on the past. I'm not surprised she picked up the fact Ana called our baby a boy.
"Yes, I wanted something and the necklace seemed the right thing. It's inscribed with the day he was born on it with a few simple words."
Carrick leans closer, "What does it say, son."
"Always in our hearts. Never forgotten. I knew as soon as mom touched it and read it she'd pick up on the meaning. Most would think it could mean a family member passing away, not an innocent life who never even got a chance to live in our world. I have it on 90 percent of the time unless I know I'm going to end up shirtless like here. Then I take it off. With everything happening tonight with Lily, I just forgot it was there. I thought she needed to see with her own eyes the scars I have. I'm just pleased those photos were not real. I was trying to figure out where and when it happened, and which guy that Taylor had employed that needed to be fired. I was finding it hard to think straight."
"How do you feel about your loss, though, son?"
"It hurt at the time, but there was no long-term damage so when we are ready for that next step Dr. Greene feels we shouldn't have any issues. Plus Ana and I agreed that we won't dwell on it, or let it affect us. Yes, we will remember, but we still have a very long life ahead of us. At least I hope so."
"Ana, do you have anything that you wear in remembrance?" Mom smiles and I watch as Ana lifts up her left wrist to show my mother her charm bracelet. Each charm has a significant meaning... for her it's the two little feet.
"Dad, did everything get sorted with Lily?" I need to change the topic before both of us break down. Moving the conversation to Lily will help side track dad and get me thinking about something else. We don't need to tell them we were also relieved in a way. Not that we don't want to be parents, we just don't want kids right now at this point in our life. Ana feels she is too young to be a mother and I will support her in this decision.
"Yes, she is off to treatment facility to be evaluated. They look at her medically and whether or not there is some sort of mental disorder like Bipolar present. I told her father that if she is sick, we are happy to let sleeping dogs lie for now."
"No problem dad. She needs help because this obsession isn't healthy for any of us...poor Mia."
Dad lets out a little chuckle."Yes, your sister sure can pick them can't she"?
"It's not really her fault dad."
My mom stands and walks back to be beside my father. It's nice to see them comfortable enough to show their affection, but then again, they've always been like that.
"I know son, but her actions this weekend were hurtful. I could tell by the look on your faces that it hurt."
"It did hurt...the way she spoke about Ana like that. I wanted so badly to hit her, but somehow I managed to keep my control. I'm pleased she realized her mistake and accepting of help and her subsequent punishment. You're right dad, I should've taken it from her when you asked me too when Ana and I got married. I earn so much money that the amount she spends on that card is nothing. I make that within about 15 minutes of work in a day to cover the cost for a month." I watch him shake his head at me and smile. We've never really talked about the amount of money I make, he just knows its billions.
"After everything is paid, between Ana and I we still earn around about 2.5 million per day. Why do you think I demanded to pay for everyone's security...we have the money for it. Why do you think when you talk about getting something extravagant, I demand to get it for you or I just go and buy it." I watch as my parents sit there still stunned at the amount we earn.
"I do it as a way to thank you for all you've done for me. I know, dad, when I dropped out of Harvard you were really disappointed in me. It's why I spend so much time with you, and why I created that plan to start the foundations for GEH. I wanted to show you that I didn't need a Harvard degree to do what I wanted to do. I know it took you some time to agree to loan me the money; more so because it wasn't up and running, unlike Elliot's business. I know I've paid you back that loan and then some, but I feel like I need to spend it with my family. We give a significant amount away to different charities, and I'm the one that funds the children's ward equipment at the hospital." My mom's eyes widen in disbelief when I let that little-known fact slip.
"Christian, I knew you helped out by donating funds each year, but I had no idea."
"It was Ana's idea to expand our charitable contributions...we no longer supply just the toys, books, tv for each room. The complete upgrade last year except the medical equipment came from us. If they want it, the request comes to me and we look into it. If Roz, Ana and I agree then, it's a done deal."
"That explains why our floor always has the up to date, latest equipment and when I ask for something we get it."
"Yep, that is because of me, well us. Recently, we donated a large sum for the emergency department rebuild next year. They came to me with a proposal and Elliot's company will do the work, so it becomes cheaper as well. We have a great deal between the two of us. I know every floor could benefit from a donation, but the children...well I think you know now how we feel about that. Plus, seeing some of those children going through tough times, and some aren't going to make it through, they need some enjoyment, and the parents need to know they're getting the best. Anything to ease their minds."
"You maybe one very tough businessman son, but you do a lot of good for people."
"I know, we have a few projects in the development stages, and Ana's working on one that I didn't know that SP was thinking about it as well. She's overseeing a project ...the one we told you about on Sunday. I have a few others in the works, but right now it's all just at the conception stage and working out if what I want can be done or not. I think the project Ana's working on will be a worthwhile investment."
"I knew you earned a lot of money son, but I had no idea it was that much. No wonder you have so many flash toys."
I can't help but laugh because everyone is always giving me shit. "They're all of the highest safety rating and you won't find anything better. I know I'll never be able to thank you both enough for adopting me and giving me a loving and safe home, staying with me when I had some terrible times causing you unnecessary stress and worry. Helping out here and there is nothing to us and we pay everyone well and offer outstanding benefits."
"Yes, I've heard how generous you are with your wages and benefits."
"Well they need it, dad, so why not help out. We can afford to do it, and if it means they are not struggling then even better. I don't want any of my employees to have to go through the hard times like I did as a child. We have the ability and depending on the employee's job, the perks they get are worth it. Why do you think no one ever leaves GEH…they know how good that have it with me? That's not to say I don't fire people when necessary. In fact, there's going to be a pretty big shake up next week."
"Is something wrong at GEH, Christian?" I hear the worry in my father's voice.
"Roz feels the place could be working more efficiently. Like my hotel in Portland; the owner operator does an incredible job so he is coming down and going to do the same through GEH. We feel we could run a tighter ship so those not carrying their weight will be replaced. It's not easy to do, but if it means we get more done then it means more money coming in."
"You live in a very cut throat world."
"It is but it's not that different from your line of business, dad."
I feel Ana's hand on my thigh reminding me that's she been by my side all night. I was so involved talking business with my dad I haven't paid much attention to her. "We should head home soon, Christian."
We say our goodbyes and head home. I noticed even though Ana was cuddle up with me at my parents place as soon as we are in the car she is distancing herself. I just hope it's not the sign of more issues once we are home. Tonight's been draining enough and all I want to do is crawl into bed with my wife and hold her all night. The drive goes by in silence and when we arrive at our penthouse, there are some reporters waiting outside for us. I just wish they'd fuck off and leave us alone.
When the doors open to our foyer, we both head to our bedroom to get ready for bed. I go to hug my wife and kiss her she pulls away. Shit that is not a good sign.
"Baby?" I question.
"I'm going to go sleep in the spare room tonight," She declares. Oh, shit is all I can think.
"Why?" I croak out. I can tell she knows this is bothering me.
"I need some space. Tonight has thrown me Christian, and I just can't think right now."
"It's thrown me too baby, surely we can still share our bed together."
"I need to do this. Seeing those photos and thinking you did that, it's just... honestly I don't know. At the time, all I could think about was why me...why did you do it...why hadn't you told me. A long list of things ran through my mind, but the most was hurt. My heart broke tonight and I know you didn't do it, but still it hurts. I was so quick to jump to the conclusion that you would do that to us, I didn't even confront you over it, I just got up and ran." I can't but help but let the tears fall.
"Baby?" I whispered. She shakes her head at me and walks out of our room. I want to touch her, hold her and kiss her. Her body language is telling me back off. As hard as it is, I let her walk out. I want to talk to her about it all, but it's just not going to work. We will end up fighting, and saying things we don't mean to. As hard as it is for me to be away from her, knowing that she is hurting. I have to wait. I can kiss any chance of a good night's sleep goodbye.
I've been lying alone in our bed for some time having given up any hope of getting any sleep. I decided to get up and get a stiff drink to see if that helps. It most likely won't but it's better than the alternative. I listen for any movement, throughout the apartment, but I don't hear a sound. Our home should be filled with the sounds of laughter, music, talking and the sound of children playing.. sounds of happiness and joy. Something I never thought I deserved until I met Ana.
I grab my drink and sit on one of the couches in our media room and turn on the TV. I know there most likely isn't anything worth watching at this hour but anything to help me get to sleep, or at least take my mind off missing Ana. I get my laptop and put it on the coffee table and I sit down on the floor with my legs crossed and start going through some emails. I normally do this in my office but tonight I want to do it here by the fireplace.
"You had another nightmare?" I hear off to the side of the room. I've been so engrossed in work that I didn't hear her approach or the fact is nearly 2 am in the morning.
"Nope, I never managed to get to sleep at all." My voice is strained and I look at her. She looks just as tired as I feel. She comes into the room and sits on the couch behind me.
"Ana, I know you want space to think but can you do that during the day...can you just come back to our bed, please." I plead. I want to sleep with her in my arms. "I will never ever cheat on you, you should know that by now, it's only you baby, and only ever will be you."
"It's not that Christian. The problem it was how quickly I fell for Lily's scheme. I jumped to conclusions that it was true, and I bolted. I didn't bother to show you or even ask you if it was true. The problem is me, not you, not what happened but how I reacted."
I push myself off the floor so I can sit beside her hoping she won't move away.
"It's been a stressful week Ana with the press conference coming out a day earlier than planned and Roz ad-libbing, you just finished college and started a new job, Lily and my sister's antics, those photo's were just the final straw."
"I trust you with my life, Christian. How could I ever think that you would cheat on me. You made me wait for our first time when I was the one wanting it. You've never given me any reason not to trust you and that should've been enough for me to realize that you wouldn't do that to me…to us. But somehow, I don't know I just reacted I suppose."
"I'm not going to tell you off for that baby. When I first saw those pictures, I immediately thought they were real. My dad wasn't happy with me and I pleaded with him that I didn't do it. Not willingly anyway, but it made no difference. He was very disappointed in me."
We sit there just looking at each other, sitting side by side. I want to touch her, but I don't want her to run.
"Lily really tried her best to shake us and our bond didn't she."
"Yes, she most certainly did, baby. However, our bond is stronger than whatever she throws at us. We will get through this. I'll give you all the time you need to think it through..to work things out in your head, but can we please sleep together in our bed? It pains me when you are not there," I sob as I have tears falling down my face. I watch as she nods her head in agreement. Oh, thank god! I stand and hold out my hand. "Come on baby, let's go to bed."
"I don't want to put on a show because of Lily or anyone else. I want us to go about our usual routine, is that ok with you?"
"Yes, I was thinking of calling work to see if I could work from home tomorrow and work on my project."
"You could come to Grey House and work on it from there. You can even talk to Roz about it. I'm sure she'd love to work through it with you."
"Ok, that sounds good." She says as we get into bed and curl up under the covers. Yes...she is back where she belongs...in our bed, but more importantly, my arms.
"I love you, Ana, so much. I know we're going through a rough patch right now, but you're it for me. There is no one and has never been anyone else since the day I laid eyes on you...nearly eight years ago baby. You've had me before we even got together...you've had my heart before I even realized." I say to her as I kiss her shoulder, pulling her tightly to my body. I hear a quiet sob before I turn her over and hold her even closer to my chest letting her cry. I hold her and wait for her to stop. When she finally does, I notice that she has cried herself to sleep. I make sure the alarm is set, before drifting off to sleep...holding on to my wife for dear life.