Chapter 21 ,,glorious purpose''

the longest chapter i have ever written. the main soundtrack is ,,illusion'' by VNV nation, but also ,,why'' by Krypteria and ,,ragnarok'' by Tyr

Sif was puzzled. Three things she knew for sure – firstly, Loki was not dead, he was hiding under the skin of his own ,,murderer'' and was sentenced to death. Secondly, with all the doubts Sif had about the trickster's personality, hurting Frigga was the last thing the god of lies ever wanted and would ever desire to do and finally, Loki had some purpose for hiding. But what glorious purpose should he be following this time to make himself prisoner and put himself to death?

Sif was trying hard to analyse the information. Surely, Loki was not a hero to save someone and sacrifice himself and actually, there was no one to save – in fact, no one was dead, were they? So what was this comedy all about?

Maybe it was Odin who wanted Loki dead? Maybe he threatened Loki? This seemed truthful, but for what? Not to give up the throne? But if he not desired to give the throne up, he could've said so, maybe he wanted to prevent the war? But anyway, he started the war and therefore, Sif was sure, whatever plan the All-father and Loki had (if they had a shared plan at all), it would be for good of Asgard.

She had no answers. Who was she going to address for getting them? Not Loki, he refused to answer, even threatened her and for what? An attempt to save the trickster's life?

Asking Odin was not an option as well – if he found out Sif know, she could easily share Loki's fate. Heimdall was the only candidate, through Sif doubted he was going to tell her something, but on the other hand, telling Heimdall about her knowledge was same as telling to Odin, as long as the watcher was sworn to pass the information to Odin and he was a man of his word.

Sif was still considering this when guards opened the door of her chamber ,,Heimdall demands you presence, Lady Sif''

Lead the way. – said Sif and got up.

Heimdall was standing at the end of Rainbow bridge, in front of the observatory. He showed her the way inside the building and Sif followed.

I know you found out the truth. – Heimdall said after a minute of silence. Sif nodded. Of course, she guessed that already, only thing she wondered about, what was heimdall going to do about it. – I should warn you, my lady – keep out of this.

What?

- You should not have known.

- If you think I will keep silent as if I know nothing..

- I don't think you will, I advice that you did.

- Why? – Sif shouted – what is this comedy all about? By Hel, what is going on here? Odin knows the truth, does he not? So it was his plan, I should have guessed, he intends to kill Loki, in order not to let him rule? Am I right?

- Partly. – the watcher answered with calm voice.

- What else? But I won't understand why Loki allows, he could have just said..

- He will die either way and you will with him, if you don't stand aside.

- I don't recognize you anymore, Heimdall – Sif said with regret – you are no longer the man I knew - just and wise. Now I see nothing more then Odin's lackey and I am ashamed for you! You know, I never loved Loki, but what you and Odin do to him and to the queen – it is a shameful act! I will not take part in it! Call the guards, tell them to imprison me! I won't stand aside!

- So you will give up on your life and honor for defending Loki?

- Truth, not Loki!

- Loki killed Thor, Sif, your beloved Thor – Heimdall said, almost whispering – that is what keeps him silent.

Sif shook her head – through he never loved the trickster, always doubted him, he would never kill his brother – Loki loved Thor – maybe no one else saw that – not even the watcher but Sif knew – because she was a woman and her eyes were wide open to truth, hidden from others – Loki loved his elder brother since they were children, was always jealous of Sif, the Warriors Three and any other, that were close to the god of thunder.

At first, when the news of the death of Thor were spread and Loki got lost, Sif doubted him to be part of the scheme, but … it could not be.

- I don't believe that!

- Ask Loki – heimdall smiled. – why he would have risked his life otherwise?

Sif had no answer. The things were much more complicated then they seemed.

- The queen.. she knows nothing, right?

- Yes. She knows nothing about Thor's death or Loki's fate and she'd better not find out. Not anyone else. Go now, Sif and am watching you – as fast as you decide to act – to tell someone, or free Loki, Odin will know, he will show you no mercy.

Sif had nothing to say. She turned around and left. Guards followed her.

They game they were playing on Loki was not fair – not even if he killed Thor – not even then. She had to see him, ask him about Thor – it was the last option.

- Lady Sif – the guardian of the dungeons looked at her – what do we owe this honor?

- I have to talk to the prince's murderer.

- Sorry, you are not allowed.

- Not allowed? But I was here just a few hour ago.

- The All-father's orders. He demanded that the prisoner stays alone till the punishment.

- And when is that?

- As fast as all the warriors are ready to march on Jotunheim, which is tomorrow.

Sif nodded. Probably it was Heimdall. He knew and cut this last way for her, but he himself suggested her to talk to a prisoner. Maybe Odin could not risk reveal of Loki's true identity?

The door opened. Loki could not be more amazed – Odin himself was standing there.

- All-father?

- Loki – Odin looked at him – I want to discuss some things with you.

The trickster stood up. – very good. I have some things to say as well. Odin nodded silently.

- Loki, I want you to know – despite everything wrong you had done, I still consider you as my son. i've been watching you – the way you spent your last days impressed me and for that, I grant you a warrior's death. You will be beheaded tomorrow, at dawn. After that, our forces will march on Jotunheim.

- All father – the trickster started – if I may ask.. did you know the truth about my birthright? When you took me as a child.

Odin closed his eyes. – who told you that?

- About Jotun magic bond?

- Yes.

- During my visit to Jotunheim, I acquired lots of knowledge – Loki smiled bitterly. – some even I would not like to get at all. I know about my magic's true nature, Laufey, everything. I asked you this question before, but never got an answer, I can guess why you did not want me to know, but now, I ask this question over. what was your true intention? – Loki could not escape memories while asking this. ,,no more then a stole relic'' you're nothing. He tried to keep his face calm, but was sure Odin would notice his emotions anyway. The all-father was at last going to admit to him – he was worth nothing. Just a Jotun runt, kept alive for political purposes, dying for the same reasons.

- True intention? – Odin asked back. – I said that before – I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance. Bring about permanent peace, through you. it's your fault and your's only that my plans no longer matter - you could have lead my army in Jotunheim, if not your foolish attempt to destroy it. – Odin raised his voice, waiting for some reaction from Loki, but the trickster just stared at the blank wall, trying to hold back tears.

There was an awkward silence between these two for several minutes, before Odin broke it.

- I can't just make you king after you have wronged, Loki. I would never consider that Thor would fall for your tricks so easily, I thought him to be worthy, but I was wrong, with both of you. Once I wanted to have two sons – one as a ruler of Asgard and the other – the king of Jotunheim, until they both betrayed me by their actions!

Loki blinked, confused – he himself have done many things to deserve Odin's wrath, but Thor? Perfect Thor? What was wrong with..

And then he realized it and Loki looked at Odin with utter horror on his face.

- You knew – the trickster whispered – you knew about our relationship. Is that why you hated me? – Loki could not sit still, he needed to break something, let out his magic, unleash emotions. – you thought .. you thought it was me? Who lead your perfect prince in that pervercy? You thought I seduced him? – the trickster laughed – oh it all makes sense now! Let me break the wall you were so determined to build before your eyes, you should know the truth!

I never wanted this, I fought him, I tried – Loki's whole body was shaking – despite that I loved him, I knew what should not be, I did not want to stand in his way to his throne, I never desired to bring such shame upon his name! you really assumed.. that I .. I .. – the trickster shook his head – wanted to.. – he stopped for several seconds to catch his breath- And you knew I killed him?

- Not until you returned, no. but that does not really matter – this plan would come true anyway – but otherwise – you would be silenced by your pervercy towards your brother then.

- You are a clever man – Loki said honestly – much clever then anyone I ever knew. But with all your ability to plan – there is something you can't see.

- And what it that?

- You are wrong to think fear is what keeps me silent – guilt is. I never wanted to bring such shame upon the ones I loved. It's a good deal – to exchange my life with mother's love towards me. She would never allow you to kill me, will she? But I am afraid she will be aware of it anyway if you don't do something now – Sif.. – Odin nodded. – you know that?

- Of course I do. She will stay silent, don't worry.

- What about Ragnarok? – Loki was almost pleased to see Odin's face turned white. – yes, tell me the truth you are hiding! What about my so called sons? Are they real? Sleipnir – I know he exists, don't try to hide ! tell me, why I never heard those tales? Should they be real?

Odin kept silence.

- TELL ME! – loki screamed, no longer able to control his emotions. – are they real?

- Yes. There were many thing that happened to you, Loki, but you are not aware of them.

- What does that.. – the trickster looked hopelessly confused – I am not aware? I don't remember? Wait you don't mean that… you made me forget?

- I did so for your own good.

- Oh please! – Loki was just to furious to hide it – you made me forget part of my life, hide it away and want me to thank you for that? Did I really gave birth to a.. – the trickster was not sure he wanted to hear an answer, but he had to – at the end of his road, the at last wanted to know the truth.

- You mean Sleipnir? No, you did not.

- Stop lying to me!

- I speak the truth. I thought I could hide you away from it, but I was wrong – you went to a different way, you found a way to destroy everything – Rainbow bridge, Midgard, your brother. I should have left you to die there, Jotun runt! – Odin yelled at him.

Loki stared, eyes wide with shock, tears leaking down to his cheeks. He could not utter a word. How he hoped Odin could be merciful at last at the end of his road, how wrong he was, how naive.

There was silence again. Odin walked towards the door, he was intending to leave and the last thing Loki heard from him was a curse.

The trickster leaned against the wall and stared at the man who once was his father. He wanted to prove himself worthy to this man, he put aside his true self, always kept doing what he was supposed to do. Even now, while his hours were counted, he still lived under the skin of another, not to take down the name of Odin and Loki Odinson – who was nothing but a mere illusion.

- All-father – Loki said at last gaining control over himself once more. – all those games with my identity - at first I thought is was for dishonoring me, but I have changed my mind later; this plan of yours deals with everything just perfectly – you know I killed Thor and I deserve this, but the shame of a murderer in a royal family was too much to risk for my punishment. the way you found – it made me seen things differently –I have to admit.

I was just amazed – it seems that lots of people still have faith in me, faith my own family never had. I know that now and apart from that, you kept mother from the pain of seeing me as unworthy son, as a murderer. That was the last thing I would ever desire.

I don't know for what purpose you made me spend my last days this way. In fact, I doubt you meant to bring a peace of mind to me, but in fact, that's what you did.

For that I thank you.

Odin left the cell without other word. He never looked at Loki.

The night was long and sleepless for most of the palace – Sif could not help but walk to and fro in her room, trying to make up her mind.. to tell or not to tell.. memories of her childhood, Loki and Thor in it, it was so simpler back then – just a childish competition and jealousy, a race for the thunderer's heart, which she, despite all the privileges, had lost and Loki.. who loved his brother, but still betrayed. Sif could not understand how it was possible, her mind refused to believe it but if Loki wanted to let her stood up for him, he could have said, damn, he could have spoken for himself at last, but he did not, there was nothing for her to do.

Sif could not make up his mind on what to do. Tell Frigga? But it was not wise to break queen and king apart when the realm was on the edge of war. It was treason and even Odin did something that seemed wrong to her, she could not break her oath as a warrior. Sudden memory flooded her mind, of the days when Thor was banished.

- We all know what we have to do. – Sif said, still not sure of what could come of it.

- We must go. We must find Thor.- Hogun stated.

Fandral rushed up from the place he was sitting; - it's a treason!

- To hell with treason. It's suicide. – added Volstag.

Sif remembered clearly what she said after ,, Thor would do the same for us.''

Those days seemed much happier to her now. Despite their dearest friend banished, despite that Loki was on the throne and Asgard was on the brink of war, she never doubted the right side, she knew what she had to choose.

Sif could not bare sitting in her chamber more, but there was nowhere to go. She walked to the balcony to breath in some fresh air.

,, Thor would do the same for us.''

,, it's a treason!''

She covered her face with hand, but can't keep wondering ,,would Loki do the same?'' Sif was not sure she ever knew the Trickster, but of two things she was certain; Loki would do the same for Thor, he would do anything and Thor, despite all sins of his brother, would not let this happen. Sif could not get over the idea that by staying silent she was failing Thor. The thunder god would never let something like this turn upon his brother.

But Sif was not Thor, and Loki was not Thor – thunderer would not kill someone in such way. Suddenly the realization dawned on her; she knew nothing about the circumstance of Thor's death, Loki's journey, what he had been through and why. Why he ever came back? Was he forced? Sif doubted that. No, he could hide himself well, he showed up because he wanted to, because he had a plan. Loki always had a plan, but this time.. it was different. Sif somehow knew, the trickster was not playing a game this time, he was just giving up on his life.

Sif was shocked realizing that tears were falling down from her eyes – was she really crying for Loki?

Loki could not sleep as well – he was lying on his bed in a dungeon and thinking – about Thor, Frigga, the days he spent in this palace, those happy days. He hoped to see Thor at the other side – maybe there was still hope left for them, after all. The trickster kept assuring himself in that. He could not let go the last hope he had – after Odin rejected him one last time, Thor's forgiveness was all he had left.

Thor.. the only sun in his life. Loki killed him and for what? To prove himself? To who? Odin? Who never loved him? Odin, who called him a Jotun runt the night before his death? How that man could be so cruel.

Loki tried hard to hold himself, not to cry, but this was useless.

Odin was right,

He was weak, not worth anything, not even Thor's love. He failed everyone whoever loved him, in every possible way.

Maybe, just maybe..

There was hope of seeing Thor again on the other side, beg for forgiveness.

Odin spent his night looking down at Asgard from the window, avoiding Frigga's worried look.

When the first rays of the rising sun hit the windows, Frigga stood up from the bed and put her hand on his husband's shoulder.

My king.. – she said – it's time.

The guards gave a pair of new clothes to Loki – they were all green – it was probably Odin's work – letting him wear his favorite color.

He was calm while the doors opened in front of him.

Loki walked down the hall and to the stairs. He was going to be executed on the main square, in front of the army and the citizens.

Sif was waiting in a corridor. Loki smiled at her and let the guards lead him away from her.

Before Sif thought of something to say, there was a familiar voice that came from behind her;

-Sif dear!

- my queen? - Sif turned around and faced Frigga.

- follow me! I need to talk to you.

Frigga opened the door to her chambers, asked the guards to leave. Sif was confused – not sure of what to say. Queen turned towards her.

- Sif, dear. – she began – I know something is wrong with the death of my son. I asked to check upon the details with the prisoner, but you never came back with an answer. Tell, me what happened?

,, I will kill you, this I swear! Do you understand me?'' the voice of the trickster echoed through his mind. He wanted to keep his identity secret, what right did she have to interfere?

- Your grace.. he told me.. that your son died with honor. – Sif chocked on her words.

- Sif – queen's voice was a bit colder then usually - tell me the truth!

- It is what he said, I swear!

- Well, that may be so, but you are hiding something from me, I see that. Is that about Loki?

- I am not hiding anything, your grace!

- Don't lie to me! – Frigga yelled at her, it was so unlike the queen – she always had total control over herself – just like Loki. Maybe they had a connection – Sif remembered Loki's voice, his mad face when she threatened him about his mother – they both were losing control in this case.

I speak the truth! – Sif avoided her face from queen.

- Sif, are you afraid of Heimdall? If it is what bothers you, he can't see us right now, I have my way of protection from outer looks.

Sif's jaw dropped – she never considered this option before.

- Sif – Frigga looked in her eyes – I don't believe Loki is dead. I know Odin is hiding something from me. I am mother, I can feel it – my son still lives, I am sure of it. Do you know where is he?

At the exact time, there was a knock on the door and guards came in, accompanying one of the royal council members.

My queen! – the Lord bowed his head – you need to attend the execution.

Frigga looked down at Sif, then at the Lord, nodded slowly, sighed and followed them.

Sif swallowed bitter tears.

It was the end.

She failed Thor,

She failed Loki,

She failed the Queen;s trust as well.

It was over.

Loki stood proud in front of the mocking crowd. The sleepless night could be seen in his blank stare and dull eyes.

Odin and Frigga were sitting at their seats, on the opposite side to the altar, a bit far away. Council members and other royal people were standing behind them.

The trickster had to walk up several stairs to the altar where the executioner was.

Stairs seemed endless.

He could make it.

Loki was barely holding on his feet, trying to die as a warrior.

There it was, the altar. The sorcerer smiled at the thought of finding peace.

The executioner made him kneel before the altar.

Loki rested his head on the metal surface and looked at Frigga, whose eyes were watching him carefully.

Loki just noticed a free chair next to her – his heart was split in two – his helmet with horns was set there, on a green silk. Another empty chair by Odin's side had to be..

There it was – Mjolnir was set there.

That was the last thing he saw before closed his eyes.

The executioner raised an ax.

Sif was shaking, she could not stand on her feet while watching Loki walking towards his death.

At the moment, when the younger prince rested his head against the altar, the realization dawned on her;

After a second Loki would be dead and the illusion would fade away, just like the moment he was motionless.

Loki probably did not know that, he would have not paid much attention to that.

Was Odin aware of the mistake in his scheme? May he prevent that?

Sif rushed forward to stop that, but it was too late – Odin gave a sign and the executioner raised down his weapon.

Sif screamed at the top of her lungs – the head fall on the altar and it should be brought to kind and queen and rest under their feet.

Sif stared in horror while the executioner passed her with a head on a silver plate.

She could not stop staring at the empty eyes.

The emerald green eyes.

sorry guys, don't kill me for that.

but the story is not yet over. so share your thoughts in reviews.

i have not yet decided what to call next chapter, but i know exactly what i will be about, so i will update soon :)