DISCLAIMER:: not mine. sigh.

A/N:: unfortunately the end of 2010 did not go as planned, or i would have posted this much sooner. with a new (demanding) job, a 16 month old, a wedding to plan, moving, and my studies to focus on, i have barely had time to breathe. but my laptop looked at me this morning with big puppy dog eyes that said "i feel neglected. spend time with me", so i busted out the last few paragraphs and presto... one new update served steaming hot. i am on a two week vacation from work and by two week vacation i mean time to veg out on my floor with my laptop and get to writing. hoping to bust out a few more updates before i have to return to slave labor. R&R. much love.

-/-

Jane knew the second she pulled up in front of the house that Maura wasn't there. It looked cold, uninviting. There was an emptiness that permeated from the normally warm and elegant house.

Jane didn't know what to do… should she cry, should she go on a search for Maura herself, should she call it in… she couldn't decide what to do. This was one of the most crucial moments in her life and she was sitting in the driver's seat of her car, pondering possibilities.

Her mind raced with memories…

-/-

"Have you seen the new ME?" Korsak leaned across her desk, his face a foot from hers, his eyes glinting like a kid with a secret only seconds away from slipping out between his lips.

I rolled my eyes and laughed darkly, standing. "Please don't tell me he's fat, bald, and unbearably juvenile like the last one."

"She ain't fat, or bald, and I hope she's juvenile. The last thing we need is another tight ass like you round here."

"Big words for someone who dreams about my tight ass."

We both shared equal looks of disgust when we realized what I had just said. After a moment of being appropriately grossed out at the thought of the man who was my pseudo big brother considering me a piece of ass, we both simultaneously burst into laughter.

"You're gluteal muscles do appear rather firm, however I don't see how that has any bearing on your maturity level."

Both Korsak and I stopped laughing and turned to see what could only be described as a supermodel. The woman before us was wearing a dress that was just long enough to be appropriate, but just short enough that it left you wanting and probably had a price tag that exceeded my annual income. Her skin was smooth and tan, her makeup expertly done, and her blonde hair was styled in just the right way that it framed her face perfectly. And yet there was an intense curiosity in her eyes as if she was studying not only me and Korsak, but every detail of the world around us.

It took nearly a minute of stunned silence to realize she was talking to me and another long thirty seconds to realize she had just given my ass a compliment, or at least I think it was a compliment….

For all our staring, the woman waited patiently for an answer. Every second or so, the curiosity in her eyes was replaced by confusion, but it was swept away almost before I could register the change, and it occurred to me that this woman, though she appeared the picture of confidence, was insecure in our gaze.

In the ninety seconds of silence, I memorized a million barely imperceptible details only to come to one grand realization… that I could spend forever with this woman and still never memorize everything. The thought both disappointed and surprised me.

It was Korsak who finally came to my rescue and banished the silence. "Sorry, Janie here doesn't speak google. Her brain doesn't work that fast."

I instinctively slapped him across the back of the head, but he only chuckled in response and bowed ungracefully out of the conversation.

"I'm Jane Rizzoli." It occurred to me that common courtesy would be to offer a handshake, but she seemed too dignified for the greetings of a commonplace tomboy from Boston.

"I'm Maura. Dr. Maura Isles." She smiled and my heart thumped so loudly in my chest I was sure she could hear it, but if she did, she kept it to herself. "I'm the new medical examiner."

-/-

A knock on her window shook Jane out of her reverie.

She jumped nearly out of her skin and looked over to see Maura staring in at her with a confused expression on her face.

Jane felt a tidal wave of relief wash over her body and she threw the car door open, nearly knocking Maura over in the process. But she slammed it shut and pulled Maura into a tight embrace, burying her face in the medical examiner's hair, not caring who might see this moment of affection.

"Jane, honey, what's wrong?" Maura was whispering in her ear.

It took Jane forever to answer. She wanted to hold the moment as long as she could before she was forced to ruin it.

Finally she pulled back. "Where's Detective Hepburn?"

Maura frowned. "Home, I presume. Or she could have gone back to work I suppose. She just drove me home."

Jane nodded, feeling all the pent up stress and anxiousness leave her body.

"Jane, why are you acting out of character? What happened?"

Jane shook her head. "Let's get you inside first."

Maura nodded and led the way up the front walk to the door. Once inside, Maura headed straight for a fresh bottle of wine and while Jane stepped into the living room to call Frost and tell him Maura was alright and to keep an eye on Veronica until Jane got a chance to question her regarding her relationship with the first victim.

"Jane."

Jane flipped her phone closed and turned to face Maura, who stood in the doorway, looking hopelessly confused.

Jane smiled and sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to her.

Maura came and sat next to her, handing her a beer as she sipped from her own wineglass. Jane took a swig from the bottle and then set it down on the side table. She ran her hands down her thighs, smoothing out invisible wrinkles on her pants.

"Are you going to make me drag it out of you?" Maura placed one of her hands over Jane's to still it.

"Detective Hepburn was romantically involved with the first murder victim."

"Becky?" Maura seemed stunned. "And Veronica?"

"I checked out the diner that Rebecca used to frequent and the owner identified Veronica as her mystery woman."

"So you thought she was going to do something to me… that's why you rushed home?"

Jane nodded and took another sip of her beer.

Maura was quiet for a long time, her face contemplative.

Jane was uneasy in the silence; she couldn't read Maura's thoughts or even determine their direction for that matter and that bothered her more than she had expected it would.

As if sensing her discomfort, Maura sighed. "I don't know whether to be flattered or offended. I wish you wouldn't think of me as being so helpless."

Jane most certainly hadn't been expecting that. "What are you talking about?"

Maura frowned and nursed her wine, not answering for several minutes. "Since I was shot everyone's been treating me differently, especially you."

Jane shook her head. "I have no clue what you're talking about Maura; no one is treating you differently."

"Actually, Jane, everyone is treating me differently. No one calls me Queen of the Dead anymore. Everyone is always asking if I'm okay or if I need anything. I'm accustomed to being self-sufficient Jane; it's how I've always lived my life."

Jane knew better than to touch Maura when she was upset with her, but she did anyway, sliding over and wrapping her arms around the medical examiner. She held tighter when Maura struggled and she eventually won the battle; the blonde relaxed into her embrace.

"I did what I did that day because I love you Jane. It was the simplest decision I've ever had to make. I am not damaged because of it, nor depressed. I don't regret it for a moment. I wish people would stop treating me like I'm one second away from an emotional breakdown. It wasn't a decision I was forced to make; it was a choice."

Jane kissed Maura's neck softly. She had been treating Maura as if she were fragile ever since she brought her home from the hospital; even when she was in the hospital for that matter. Her reluctance in telling Maura about Veronica proved that. She didn't think Maura could handle it. Her first instinct when she'd seen Maura was alright today had been to hold her. And therein lay the problem.

"I have been treating you differently… but I'm not going to stop."

Maura went rigid, pulling out of her arms. "Jane." There was warning and a twinge of pain in her voice.

Jane shook her head. "It should have been me… I was supposed to be shot that day. I was ready to be the one."

"Jane."

But Jane ignored her and continued on without hesitation. "It was my brother. I was focused on saving him, on making you save him, that I didn't think about getting us out of there. And in the end, it didn't matter. I put all of us in danger, and both of you paid for it."

"Jane." Maura grabbed her hand, but she pulled it away.

"No. I love you Maura, and it is my job to take care of you and protect you. I will never stop doing that. I won't risk losing you again. Even if it means having to mow creeps over in my motorized scooter when I'm 92, I will always protect you. Please don't ask me not to."

Just as the tears started to fall, Maura's lips collided with hers. Jane pulled away in shock, her brow furrowing in confusion. One moment, Maura is scolding her for being overprotective, and now, after she just admitted that she wasn't going to change said behavior Maura's practically straddling her lap.

Maura smiled and wiped away her tears. "Am I yours, Jane Rizzoli? Is that what your trying to tell me?"

Jane smiled, her hands resting on the waist of the blonde that straddled her lap. "If you are open to the idea, yes."

Maura leaned in and stole another kiss from the detective. "Yes, I think I'd like that… I'd like to belong to you Jane."