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Chapter 21: Lasting Consequences

Amanda waited in her room for what seemed like hours for Spock to arrive to chew her out.

It was actually a good thing that he sent her there, she had decided. She was exhausted and eager to shower and change her clothes. She stood in front of her bathroom mirror, facing away from it, and turned her head to analyze the deep cut that had been made by the Romulan guard's knife. She noticed with alarm that the wound didn't seem to be healing at all – in fact, it seemed to be getting worse. It was covered in a layer of thick green pus and the sides of her skin were inflamed and seemed to be charred with some kind of blue crust.

"Ugh. Disgusting." She murmured to herself, attempting to clean it off with a towel. When she touched it delicately, a lighting pain seared through her back and she decided to just let it be for a while. If it didn't look better in the morning, she'd go see Bones about it.

Eventually, she fell asleep.

When she awoke it was 3 o'clock in the morning, and Spock was sitting across from her in a chair. She jumped when she saw him and quickly pulled her robe on.

"Knock much?" she asked, her speech sounding slightly slurred.

Spock's forehead creased in – was that concern or concentration? She couldn't tell the difference with Vulcans. It was probably concentration.

"What you did today… That was very thoughtless of you."

She rolled her eyes and headed across the room to get a glass of water.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt you to think every now and then."

Amanda turned to look him in the eye, obviously cross. "I do think."

"Why would you do something so stupid?"

"No one here was about to do anything. And he's back now, isn't he?"

"Your behavior was illogical. You were operating under urges from what I believe you humans refer to as the gut. Perhaps that is not the wisest course of action."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Ugh. How Vulcan of you."

"And pray, tell me, what is so offensive about my way of life?"

"You call that life?! You don't do anything, you just sit around and think about it. I would rather be reckless than boring."

To her surprise, Spock didn't seem mad at all. Just…defeated. He shook his head.

"What's done is done. I am not here to discuss your reckless decisions."

"Then what are you here for?" Amanda asked him crossly.

"When I realized that you had gone to the Romulan ship alone today…I was not happy."

She laughed a little. "I could tell."

"I was not happy because it was an illogical strategical move." He defended his Vulcan responses. "But there was something else."

Amanda met his eyes expectantly and he, surprisingly, avoided her gaze.

"I was… concerned that something would happen to you."

The room was eerily quiet. Not quite sure where he was going with this, Amanda only nodded. "Okay."

"I did not want you to be there. I did not want you to be there alone."

"Okay."

"I wanted you to be here."

"Okay."

"I wanted you to be here with me."

The conversation was awkward. If she didn't know better, Amanda would have guessed that Spock was trying to tell her that he had a crush on her.

Did Vulcans even get crushes?

And why did she suddenly feel like a schoolgirl again? Did she like him back?

"When I see you, it's like I'm hungry all over."

Her face flushed immediately and Spock realized that he had finally made his point clear enough.

"I don't want to be without you."

"How?"

He looked at her, genuinely confused by her questioning response.

"How what?"

"Just – how? Why?"

"I do not know." Spock shook his head, clearly unhappy with what was going on inside of himself. "I must speak candidly. You do strange things to me. When I am with you, I am never quite sure whether I want to scream at you, or…"

As Amanda looked at him, she could feel her face beginning to grow red with embarrassment. Well, it was embarrassment, wasn't it? "Or?" she prompted.

"Or make love to you again and again and again. It is most frustrating."

Her face grew so flushed Amanda felt like she was on fire. She had heard of people being swept away by romantic gestures, but this was really too much.

Spock watched in horror as Amanda's face went from beet red to a sickly pale yellow. For a moment, he thought she might faint.

"Amanda, are you alright?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath of cool air. She was burning up inside. In fact, she felt like someone had lit a match and dropped it on her back. This couldn't be normal. "I'm fine. Just – a little bit…dizzy."

Spock immediately realized that something was seriously wrong with her. "What happened? Are you alright?"

She heard his words but they sounded far away. She was only vaguely aware of the feeling of being lifted and carried down the hall. Spock's voice got further and further away until she couldn't hear or see anything anymore.

The last words she heard came in the form of a command from Spock:

"Amanda, you will not die. You cannot die. That is an order!"