Chapter 21
Martin
I stepped away from Ruth as I bent to pick Lizbeth up. Her hazel-green eyes were shining with tears as she looked at Ruth and asked once more "Are you sure you're home for good?"
"Yes baby I am" Ruth promised as she took her from me and hugged her before saying "Why don't we go talk about it?" and as they started to leave Will woke up and said "Ma ma"
Ruth turned to him and held out her arms as he climbed on his chubby knees to her. I smiled slightly before walking out.
"Martin?' I heard Ruth question as I didn't look back and answered "I'll be back. I'll bring back some bagels or something"
"Okay" she replied as I ran down the stairs and jumped into my SUV. When I got to the church, I walked straight in and knelt down, crying and praying as I said "Thank you God, thank you for bringing her back home where she belongs. Please give me the strength and the courage to be able to deal with everything that she has been holding in. Please give me strength. I'm not going to be able to handle another crisis"
I heard footsteps and was surprised to see Eric behind me. He looked at me, as I surreptitiously wiped my eyes and asked "she returned home?"
"Yes"
"Thank God" Eric replied, the relief evident in his tone as I nodded and then asked "Do you think we will need counseling?"
"That's something you two will have to figure out together" he said as I sighed and replied "I guess you are right"
Eric smiled and hugged me before saying "Go home to your wife"
"Okay" I replied smiling slightly as I walked out. I stopped to pick the bagels up and then went home. Lizbeth and Ruth were in my office talking and Will was sitting on the floor babbling to himself.
"Everything okay in here?' I asked as I stepped in. Lizbeth beamed at me as she answered "Yes, I'm hungry. When are we having breakfast?"
"I have bagels on the counter with cream cheese and fruit"
"Yeah" she exclaimed happily as she ran out and Will crawled after her.
"Watch out for Will" Ruthie and I yelled at the same time, before we stopped and looked at each other. She blushed and then patted the seat next to her as I sat down.
"I don't know where to start" she confessed as I shrugged and said "We should probably start with do we need to see a counselor?"
"No, I don't think so. I mean I've been seeing someone to deal with the twins.." she began as I nodded and said "So have I"
She looked up at me in surprise as I bitterly said "You think it was an easy decision to make? I wanted those babies as much as you did but .."
"I'm sorry, I just never thought of anyone else, just myself. I'm"
"Don't say sorry again. Let's just try to move on"
"Okay" Ruth nodded as she said "I'm singing tonight at Glen Oak theater. Do you think we could find someone to babysit?"
"I could ask David" I replied as she nodded and said "I'll call them, unless you think I should cancel?"
"No we have the whole day to spend with the kids, they'll be okay for tonight"
"Okay" she replied before walking over to the phone.
That night, Lucy, Kevin, Eric, Annie, Simon and Cecelia met me at the Theater to see Ruth. There were a ton of people there and some reporters.
One of them spotted me and asked "Is it true you are getting a divorce?" I walked on by without acknowledging them. Ruth and I had agreed a long time that we would never talk to the press.
Once we went inside and found seats, Lucy turned towards me and asked "How are you holding up? It must have been a surprise when she came home this morning"
"I'm okay. The kids were really happy. They haven't left her side all day" I replied softly as Lucy looked at me and smiled before saying "You don't always have to be the strong one Martin."
"I know" I replied before taking a deep breath and continuing "But I'm trying to be. I still don't know how to react. I mean Luce, she left. She just refused to come home. How do you prepare yourself for that? How do you guarantee it won't happen again?"
"Well you talk about it Martin. Maybe you two should go away and get to know one another again" I laughed and said "We've only been married a little over a year"
"Yes but you've been together for the past seven years and you didn't even take a proper honeymoon"
"And how do we explain that to the kids?"
"For once, you need to think about your relationship without the kids. You need to become a stronger unit for the kids"
"I guess" I said slowly trying to think logistically about Will and Lizbeth and my team and everything else I was responsible for.
"Plus Lizbeth and Will can stay with us. Savannah will love having company"
"I'll talk to Ruth and see"
Ruth then came out on stage, wearing jeans and a tank top, looking so young and vulnerable. Her curly brunnette hair shining in the lights.
As she greeted her fans in her husky voice that I fell in love with, I closed my eyes. I wasn't exactly sure what to think of her anymore. I knew I loved her, but I was definitely afraid. Afraid of what would happen the next time something horrible happened to us.
The lights went out and the spotlight went on Ruth as she began singing
If I had just one tear running down your cheek Yeah... Could you cry a little If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key Yeah... And you'd cry a little Give it up baby Yeah... Could you cry a little Yeah... Cry just a little for me woo ooo, could you cry a little for me yeah, yeah
Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery would be well spent
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I 'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine
Die just a little
and baby I would feel just a little less pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
I hear your goodbye
Nothings going save me
I can see it it your eyes
Some kind of heartache
Darlin give it a try
I dont want pity
I just want what is mine
Lie just a little
Pretend that your're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
As she finished she smiled before walking towards the piano and sat down. She took a deep breath and said into the microphone "This song is for my husband. As most of you know, we recently had a miscarriage and it was hard for me and hard for us as a couple. I was focused on my pain and not concerned with his but that' s probably why I'm an artist" with that the audience laughed as Ruthie smirked before continuing "So this is for you Martin." and with that she began playing
Where do we go from here? Certainties disappear Deep in my heart I'm concealing
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do?
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
As she sang, tears evident in her voice, she stopped too overwhelmed to continued. I got up, not sure if I would be able to get onto the stage but knowing that she needed me there and as I made my way up to the stairs, the guard gave me a nod and I walked on stage towards her
You must love me
You must love me
I sat down on the bench next to her and as she looked at me the tears escaping, I silently wiped them away with the pad of my thumb. She smiled hesitantly as she continued with the next verse
Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
She immediately stopped playing and threw herself in my arms as I held her close, my tears mixing with hers. The audience grew silent as they watched us hold each other. She pulled away slightly and whispered the words I was waiting to hear for the past few months "I love you"
I smiled through my tears and whispered the same "I love you" and then I leaned forward and gently kissed her on the lips.
When we pulled apart the audience sighed and clapped as I blushed and Ruthie smiled at me and I stood up and walked backstage, just in case.
Ruth turned back towards the audience and said "This is my newest song and it is for everyone who has suffered losing a child" and she sang the song she sung to me that morning.
By the end of that song, there wasn't s dry eye in the theatre. She then sang a couple of other songs, that were definitely more upbeat and ended the night with the newest song on the radio. I could see from where I stood, some people singing along with her
When the road gets dark And when the tears you cry Have a little faith in me When your secret heart
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me
And
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Cannot speak so easily
Come here darling'
From a whisper start
To have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
And when your back's against the wall
Just turn around and you will see
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby
Just have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
As she finished and took a bow she walked off stage and walked over to me hugging my waist as I embraced her as well. We stood that way for a while until we saw Annie and Eric come towards us.
"You were wonderful" Annie said smiling as she gave her a hug and Ruth blushed slightly before looking at Eric and saying "It was all from the heart"
"WE know honey" Eric replied before hugging her as well. Lucy and Kevin, Simon and Cecelia then walked up as well to say hi and congratulate Ruth.
"So dessert at our house?" Lucy suggested finally as we all agreed. "We'll meet you there" Ruth told them as she grabbed my had and pulled me in the other direction.
"Where are we going?' I asked her amused as she kept walking.
"You'll see " she responded as we got into the car and she got into the drivers seat and drove us home.
I got out to make my way down the street but she stopped me and said "We need to go inside for a moment"
"What for?" I asked her bewildered at her evasiveness. AS we walked in the house she pushed me to the wall and began kissing me on the neck.
"Umm..Ruth?" I began as she placed a finger to my lips and said "Let's skip the talking and just get to the making up part okay?"
"Okay" I replied smiling slightly before returning her kiss on the lips. An hour later, we made our way to Kevin and Lucy's, in a slightly better mood and way more comfortable with one another.
"We were getting worried about you" Lucy exclaimed as Kevin gave us a knowing wink and Ruth had the grace to blush.
"We had some unfinished business to attend to" I replied smoothly as Eric snorted a little and I looked over at him.
"Sorry, it's just interesting how you worded it"
"Am I missing something?" Lucy asked wonderingly as everyone else laughed and Ruthie said "No Lucy, let's just drop it"
"Okay. You look much better Ruth. You were really pale before but you are glowing and you look a little mussed... you didn't"
"Didn't what?" Ruthie asked a smile hovering on her beautiful heart shaped lips as Lucy asked
"Have ...?"
"Okay change of subject" Simon loudly said as everyone else looked relieved as they tried not to look at us. Ruth turned to me finally and said "I can not believe sometimes that she is a minister" I laughed as she smiled at me and then I said "Lucy suggested we should go somewhere"
"Like?"
"I'm not sure. A honeymoon, just the two of us"
"Do you think we could do that? Leave the children so soon?"
"They will be okay. Lucy said they could stay with her and Kevin"
It would be nice to get away with you" she admitted as she looked up at me.
"We could go if you want to"
"Would you be able to leave the team?"
"Yes for at least two weeks"
"If Lucy is really okay with it" Ruth replied as Lucy asked us "okay with what?"
"With leaving Lizbeth and Will with you to go away?"
"Of course we would be okay. Right Kevin?"
"Definitely" he agreed smiling at us.
"I'm in if you are" Ruth said as I said "Okay I'll get us tickets tomorrow and we can leave tomorrow night"
"Cool" she replied as she looked at the clock and said "We should go pick the kids up"
"Okay" I replied as we waved at everyone and walked to the Camden's to pick up Lizbeth and Will.
By the time we got home and placed them in their respective beds it was late. We tiredly climbed into bed and held each other before falling asleep.