A/N: here's the next chapter- I hope this was worth the wait. Please review. Hopeful a new chapter will be up this week; I'm off all week!!! Again, review!!!!

James' POV

Bwahahaha! GOD I love being me! I would not allow them to be together. Not now. Not ever. Bella was mine- I needed her, I loved her. I wanted her and all she would give me. Because I love her. And she's the only one I can love.

"Well, I suppose we should get going then." Edward being the perfect gentlemen as always smiled too politely. God. How I hated him. He grabbed Bella's hand and towed her toward the car. She still wouldn't look at me. And that hurt. If only she knew how much I really cared…I really haven't told her to her face…except for those 3 days she changed…the 3 days she can't remember…

(please don't hate me for the flashbacks…)

As her body contorted in torturous agony, and her screams became more frantic, I realized we couldn't stay here- someone would hear her screams, I'd have to kill them…it would end badly. For the humans at least. I hated to have to move Bella, especially while she was in the pain she was in, but it was necessary.

I lifted her up, trying to be as gentle as possible. But she still yelped from the slightest movement. "I'm sorry honey…" I murmured. "But this will end happily, I promise…" I ran at top speed to make the pain last at least a little less. But I knew that was impossible. I stopped at a peaceful looking meadow- the grass was lush and green. I hoped it would be comfortable for this angel to lay on. I gently placed her on the grass, ignoring her screams.

She must have thought me a monster, she must have been thinking through all the pain why the hell would he do this to me? But if she only knew…if only I could tell her how much I loved her.

Then I remembered I could.

But I wasn't good at the whole 'feelings' thing. Emotions were weakening.

Bella screamed- it pierced my ears and shattered my heart.

Perhaps…if my words of love could give her even the slightest comfort…it would be worth showing me weakness…

"I apologize" I said softly. "I really regret this…but I love you…so much." Her screaming ceased for a moment, to be replaced by frantic panting. "I don't know how I can love you so easily. But I do. And you are- beautiful…"

I went on like that for about a day or so. And I think it helped a little. Or maybe I was just fooling myself; but I liked the idea of my voice comforting someone I loved. And maybe I was fooling myself now. Maybe…Bella was meant to be with him…maybe this was meant to be. Maybe it was fate…

Oh hell no.

I would never let them be together. Not one hundred years ago, not now, and not in one hundred more years. I would fight fate. And I would win, damn it. She was meant to be mine- I loved her too much and gave up too much to lose her now.

Bella's POV

Yeah…I think now was when I seriously questioned Edward's sanity. I wasn't sure if he was trying to be polite or was just oblivious to James's obvious hatred of him. Either way, I was trying and failing to come up with some kind of excuse-anything to get James away from Forks. Away from the Cullens.

Away from you?

The voice taunted.

Of course not, I thought. James is my best friend.

But Edward is your boyfriend…the voice responded.

Yes. But I can balance them both.

Then why do you want James to leave?

Because he's going to ruin everything. I know he is- he'll do something or say something-

So you don't trust him? After all he's done for you? Your going to choose this boy you just met- this boy who will probably break your heart- over your best friend? Apparently you can't balance both.

S-Shut up, I tried to tell it. But it wouldn't listen.

You're going to abandon and betray the only one who ever cared about you- you'll lose him Bella. And then, when Edward betrays you, and leaves you and hurts you- you'll have nothing.

SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! I screamed internally. God, why couldn't the voice just let me be?! Was it too much to ask for? Some quiet, some piece of mind!

I hadn't realized it but at this point in my breakdown, I had hunched over in the passenger seat, hands pressed over my ears-basically looking like a complete lunatic. James and Edward both looked at me with concern on their eyes- I couldn't decipher which looked more sincere, or which cared more. And it made me feel queasy, thinking about how both of them cared for me so much, and how I knew I might lose them both. I kept my eyes away from them; I tried to ignore their gazes.

I felt the car pull over and I felt Edward's arm wrap around me. And even though I couldn't see it, I was sure James was glaring at the back of our heads.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward whispered tenderly in my ear. The concern and worry in his voice was heart shattering- it nearly broke what was left of me to pieces. I felt the familiar lump in my throat and I knew tearless cries would soon follow. I tried to force them away.

"Umm…yeah." My voice sounded anything but okay. I sounded like a human who was about to cry. Why couldn't it just be impossible for vampires to cry completely? Or to feel? Even though we couldn't produce tears, we could still cry- technically. And I hated it. Though it was easier to hide crying without tears- unless you're like me and show your heart on sleeve all time…

Edward obviously didn't believe me- James gave me one more concerned look before speaking.

"If she says she's fine, she's fine. She's a big girl, Eddie- leave her alone." I shot him a grateful glance- glad he had tried to get attention away from me- and he winked back.

Edward glared at him quickly before turning his attention back to me. I was beginning to get annoyed at him- why couldn't he just leave me alone? This was embarrassing…

"Are you sure…?" he asked again.

"Yes. I am fine." The words came out harsher than I meant them to be. I quickly corrected myself. "I'm sorry- yes, Edward I'm okay. Really…" I said politely. He nodded, and went back to driving, but I could still see the hint of worry in his eyes; it made me sad. Without thinking I moved my hand towards his- it was like I was on auto pilot or something, like before in the movies, I was just an observer, watching from my own head.

I took his hand in mine and wove my fingers through his and squeezed his hand. He looked at me, still worried. But he squeezed my hand back.

"I'm fine, I promise." I said softly- or someone did. I didn't know who was doing all of this. And then I did something unthinkable.

I took his perfect, angel like face in my hands, his eyes showed shock at first, but then pleasure. He stopped the car again, pulling over. I brought my lips to his…

And that's when I gained control of my body- as soon as our lips met. I would have pulled away, I should have. But I didn't. I'd like to say I was still on autopilot, but I wasn't. the truth I was loved kissing him. It just felt so right, his cool stone lips against mine, my hands tangling in his godly bronze hair, and his hands massaging through my hair. I loved the feeling of belonging, I loved how safe he made me feel. I loved how dizzy and delightlyfully dazzled he made me feel. I loved him.

If only I could tell him that- and if only I could believe this was real.

How great it must be to love someone without all the doubts I had- it must be that much more pleasurable…

And how great it must be to not have James right behind you. How great it must be to not be kissing someone in front of the one whose always been there fore you. And how horrible it is to be hurting that someone…

A/N: please review!! Hope u loved this chapter!!!