Hey kids, what time is it? Disclaimer time! I don't own Disney or Twister.
Chapter 21: Sophitia's Story
Wow! Yet another bright, sunshiny day had arrived for Sophitia! Joy!
Sophitia sprang out of bed, got dressed and pulled the windows open, letting the birds chirp on the windowsill. She skipped to the opposite side of her bed and shook her husband Rothion awake.
"Wake up, my gladiator! Wake up! It's such a fine day to just be inside sleeping!" She pranced out the bedroom door and down the hall.
Rothion woke up to Sophitia's irritating voice. He would never get up if it were his choice. He had barely gotten four hours of sleep with the kids screaming in the next room all night. He had to continue lying in bed with the covers over his head. "Just keep away from here, just keep away," he mumbled under his breath to the children. If he truly thought the kids would hear such a faint call, he was an idiot. But of course, he would yell it if he wanted the Hell creatures to hear him.
"Wake up! Children! Wake up, children, wake up!" Sophitia sang with her Disney-esque voice. "Time to play, children, it's time to plaaaaay!" She pushed open the doors to the children's rooms to wake them up, before dancing to the living room. "We have games to play, chores to do, friends to meet, and a day to enjooooooy!"
Rothion hated his 'wife's' horrid singing voice. He hated Disney. He hated their voices. All of them, Cinderina, Aerial, Crow White, Sleeping Cootie, he hated them all. They should have just quit their careers when they had the chance.
"Just keep away from here, just keep away," he continuously mumbled to no one. He turned over in bed and pressed his pillow against his ears. However, by now the noise the kids had been making fully awakened him, and he would have to get out of bed sooner or later, whether he liked it or not.
"Well children, what would you like to play today?" Sophitia chirped.
"I WANNA PLAY TWISTER!" Pyhrra screeched.
"I WANNA PLAY PULL-DADDY-OUT-OF-BED-AND-KICK-HIS-ASS!" Patroklos screeched.
"Both of your ideas are splendid!" Sophitia gasped with joy, clapping her hands. "We shall play both! Let us play Twister first, then Pull-Daddy-Out-Of-Bed-And-Kick-His-Ass when we are finished!" She rushed into another room to find the Twister game. It was hidden between a painting Pyhrra made in daycare of herself slaying the other children in the class with Rothion's axe and Patroklos' secret marijuana stash. She yanked the box out and pranced back to the living room in which the kids would play.
"My my! You two little angels were so good and quiet while I was in the other room! I didn't hear a peep out of either of you."
Rothion, with a blanket draped over his back to protect him from the child menace, stealthily tiptoed to his dresser to get changed. "Oh Hephaestus," he prayed. "Please, don't let them hear me. Don't let them hear me, Hephaestus, please…"
"Why would that man think I was in charge of stealth?" Hephaestus boomed to himself in the Heavens. "I'm the god of fire and weapons. I have nothing to do with stealth. That's a totally different god. Jeez, what a weirdo. He worships us and doesn't even know our purposes."
As he reached for the drawer, he heard a slamming noise coming from the living room. Immediately, Rothion jumped and slid under the bed to hide. The kids were about to play a game with Sophitia like they did everyday. Sophitia must have gone to the game closet and left the two hell spawns to themselves. He listened to the kids, hoping they weren't coming to his room. They seemed to be arguing and throwing things at each other.
"TWISTER'S BETTER!" one of them squealed.
"PULL-DADDY-OUT-OF-BED-AND-KICK-HIS-ASS IS BETTER!" cried another.
"My my! You two little angels were so good and quiet while I was in the other room! I didn't hear a peep out of either of you," he heard his wife's voice enter. Silence came once again. He crawled out and continued his perilous quest to get dressed.
"Now children, if you want to play Twister, you must remove your shoes. It says so on the box, see?" Pyhrra kicked her shoes off and hurled them in a random direction. One of them successfully shot through a window and through the window of the house next door, which belonged the their aunt Cassandra. She would probably come over soon to give it back. Patroklos mimicked her, but didn't get any of his shoes to cause violence and/or destruction, as he would have liked.
While they played, their eyes pivoted around the corner to watch Rothion tiptoeing into the kitchen, shivering when he realized whom they were staring at with their fiery red eyes. Rothion took a deep breath and entered the kitchen, where he poured himself a bowl of Fruitus Loopus cereal that he would eat alone.
But unfortunately, as he expected, he would not be left alone to eat. Patroklos stomped into the kitchen, yanked the spoon out of his father's hands and pushed his head into the bowl with his brutish strength. Rothion sighed and decided the best thing for him to do was to drown himself to death in the milk. He didn't care what Patroklos needed the spoon for, and frankly didn't want to know.
The front door opened and Cassandra walked in with Pyhrra's missing shoe. Patroklos had been waiting behind a wall for her to enter so he could launch his plot of misfortune and hurl the spoon at her face. It stuck to her forehead, wet with milk. To his dismay however, she didn't seem to take much notice, and just remained in place until the spoon slid off and onto the floor.
Sophitia turned to face her visitor and gasped, "Oh my goodness! Cassandra! What a nice surprise for you to come over today!" Cassandra silently held up Pyhrra's shoe. "Oh, why Cassandra, how kind of you to return Pyhrra's missing shoe! It would be oh so unpleasant if you did not return it and you stole it for yourself. The children have learned that it is wrong to steal." Cassandra muttered something under her breath as Pyhrra rushed up to her aunt and yanked the shoe out of her hand, then without hesitation, delivered a kick into her shin.
"Thief!" Pyhrra cried. Sophitia was too busy folding up the Twister game to realize that her daughter did harm unto her sister, but she probably wouldn't have done anything about it anyway. Cassandra, eyes barely open, shuffled into the kitchen and sat at the chair across from Rothion.
Sophitia finished cleaning up the game, which took longer than most people take to fold a simple plastic pad. She stood up and looked outside to see Patroklos running outside from the workshop, swinging Rothion's hammer at completely random pedestrians. She grinned at how strong her son was without knowing. Pyhrra, with shifting eyes, walked up to her and whispered, "Mommy, get me some milk. Now."
"Why of course, Pyhrra! I'd be glad to! Milk is nutritious for you!" Sophitia leapt into the kitchen for some milk and reported to Rothion, "Oh, Patroklos just brought down another jogger with your hammer, Rothion! He's such a strong little boy, isn't he?" She noticed that Rothion was wasting the milk in his cereal bowl for another suicide attempt. No use in wasting that good milk, right? Sophitia wrapped her fingers around the bowl and ripped it out from under her husband's nose. She walked over to Pyhrra and handed her the milk in the bowl. "What do you say?"
"F(censored) you!" Pyhrra shouted. Sophitia mistook the curse for the word 'thank,' so she made no comment on her language. Pyhrra dashed outside and dumped the milk all over the injured jogger, on top of whom Patroklos stood, holding the hammer victoriously over his head.
Sophitia remembered that the children hadn't eaten all morning. She called out the front door, "Children! Come for breakfast!" The three walked into the kitchen where Sophitia sat the kids down in their chairs and happily hopped to the cabinet to fix up something to eat.
Then the guy you read about in the previous chapter crashed through the wall and left and Sophitia made that optimistic remark. Yes, I am very lazy.
A little after Cassandra left, Sophitia heard the back door open and heard footsteps becoming louder. "Oh good! That must be the babysitter!" Then like everyone else in this story, the four of them fell unconscious.
Boy, I'm getting kinda tired of writing all this repetitive stuff.
Next Chapter: Edgemaster's Story