A:N I can't believe I've received 90+ reviews on this story, you guys are total darlings! Thanks for all the love :)

Chapter 21

Linka

I awaken slowly the next morning, readily noticing that my body has become more familiar with the effects of the sleeping pills. The heavy feeling in my head no longer feels new. I leisurely flutter my eyes open and yawn, all the while feeling Wheeler's warm caresses on my back. I enjoy his touch in silence for a while, before he bids me good morning as he places a kiss on my cheek.

"How come you are not sleeping?" I inquire, shifting my head so that I can look into his eyes. It does not feel unnatural to wake up this way, tangled up intimately with him. In fact, it is like this has always gone on between us, something as old as our elements. I sigh a little bit, content with this moment, and my hand moves to rest on his chest.

"I was watching you sleep," Wheeler reveals, giving me a little smile that is absolutely precious. I am not sure whether I am blushing for it, but the chances are quite high.

"That does not sound very interesting," I remark, falling on the familiar territory of putting up buffers. I know how to do that well. It is an annoying reaction that springs out of me spontaneously. Somehow, this deeper intimacy between us is able to both thrill me a lot and frighten me a little, just like always. I am still trying to find a way to manage it and create a balance within myself.

"It's very interesting, actually," Wheeler smiles, and he pulls me over him so that he can look into my eyes directly. The blue shade of his eyes is serene like calm ocean waters. "You're beautiful."

I am melting a little bit even before he kisses me, and I relax against him. His mouth is warm and sweet, and I think to myself that this would be a great way to wake up every morning.

I pull away slightly from Wheeler, willing myself to slow things down with him. Everything that has taken place recently has left me confused, after all, and maybe it is not right to be diving into something with Wheeler so quickly. But it just feels so normal, probably because we have waited so long to actually be honest with one another. When I think that all my resistance has been in vain in the end, I cannot help but take it as a lesson in humility. Apparently, I can be wrong about a lot of things, and maybe I need to find the strength to be more flexible in the future.

"Babe, listen a sec," Wheeler's voice takes me to the present and I newly focus on him, leaving my contemplations alone for the time being. "I talked to Gaia last night. She said that since there aren't any pressing Eco Emergencies at the moment, it's a good time for all of us to go back home and rest for a little bit. And I wanted to ask you, well... if you wanted to come with me to New York."

I lift myself up on my elbow and rest my head on my open palm, considering this. I am definitely not in the right mood to go back to Russia and see Grandmushka, for my bruises and my melancholy will tip her off instantly. Nor do I want to be alone at a time like this. I do not care if I am relying too heavily on Wheeler right now, for his presence is helping me get past this troublesome wall. I have always been independent, but I can no longer deny I need Wheeler.

"You mean, to see your family?" I ask, and watch him cringe at my words. I know Wheeler has quite a few issues with his parents and tries to avoid them whenever possible, so it surprises me that he did not ask me to stay here with him on Hope Island instead of going home.

"The plan is to relax, remember? Not get stressed out more!" Wheeler jokes, but I do not smile because I think it sad that there is such a rift between them.

"I didn't mean go to Brooklyn. I meant like a tour of New York! Remember on my birthday when I wanted to take you to Coney Island but then there was that mud slide in India we had to deal with?"

I nod a little, and lean back down against him. I remember well, Wheeler was quite upset about it and I felt very badly for him. It was one of his birthday wishes that had not come true.

He newly wraps his arms around me and I hear him speaking again, an undertone of excitement in his voice. "I thought we could go around doing fun things like that, visit the Freedom Tower, go up the Statue of Liberty, maybe catch some Broadway shows... Well, we'd have lots to do, for sure! Do you feel up for it, babe?"

"I... well... I do not know..." I mumble a little to myself, unsure of what I want. I am flattered that Wheeler wants to spend his break with me, after all, we do not get to go back home very much, but a part of me feels anxious. I have not felt like myself lately and that scares me. It is like I do not know what to expect out of me. I will be safe if Wheeler is beside me, I know that much, but I am afraid that I may not draw happiness from such lovely things in my current head space.

I sigh a little, and close my eyes. "Thank you for asking me, Jacob, it is very thoughtful of you. But I am afraid I will ruin your time there. I... am not much fun to be around right now, surely. I have put you through a lot lately, so I understand if you want to go back home for a break."

As I say this, my heart breaks at the thought of being without him. I have gotten so used to his arms around me, to his loving kisses, that they have become a sort of anchor to sanity for me. I will surely drown in loneliness with him gone, but I cannot pretend that he put his life on hold to deal with my issues. That would be selfish of me, and I no longer want to hurt him like I have done in the past.

Wheeler lifts up my chin so that he can examine my eyes and I suddenly realize that they are moist. I have probably produced more tears the past two days than in my entire lifetime.

"I'm not going anywhere without you," he states matter of factly, and I shake my head a little.

"But I do not want you to spend your vacation here because of me!"

"Then it's settled, you're coming with me."

I smile a little at his logic (everything is so easy to him!) and rest my hand lightly on his cheek. "There is no way to win an argument with you, is there?"

"I think the quicker you realize that, the better off we'll all be," Wheeler grins, and I can see that my giving in has made him happy. I tell myself that I can do this one thing for him; after all, he has done so much for me. I can work up the courage to leave my hut and, hopefully, the gloomy thoughts that have made a home inside my heart. It will not be easy, but all I can do is try, in the name of love.