Chapter 21

''It's bad, right?'' – Arizona frowned sitting next to Amelia, who she was looking at the scans.

''It's spectacular.'' –Amelia answered sounding amazed – ''The big bad mother of an astrocytoma. See how it ignores the anatomical borders'' – she pointed at the mass on the scan. ''It's like a perfect butterfly. Look. It starts in the subfrontal and extends practically into the hypothalamus. That is a thing of beauty!'' – Amelia exlaimed, while looking fascinated.

Arizona didn't know what to say. Even though Amelia talked about it like it really was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, Arizona knew it was bad. Really, really bad.

Amelia interrupted her thoughts when asking – ''Arizona, who else knows about this? People know about this, right?''

''Yeah, everybody who needs to know knows.'' – she tried to sound assuring – ''But she prefers discretion, you know. So, if you could just keep it to youself?''

''Of course. I'm a locked box.'' – Amelia promised, but she was still very much intrigued by the tumor.

''Thanks. See you.'' – Arizona said, looking very distracted, almost like she was lost. Amelia noticed, but Arizona was fast to leave the room.

An hour later Amelia was still going through Herman's brain scans amazed with how brilliant the tumor was. The way it found a way to feed itself and to grow in so many different directions. It was alive. And it was perfect.
Without even realising what she was doing, she started thinking of the ways how to extract the tumor. As she read in the chart, few neurosurgeons declined to operate or advised strongly against it, noting that it was too far gone. But Amelia knew better than to just give up. She loved to make something that was originally thought as impossible, possible. Altough life thought not to give in to wishful thinking, Amelia was still sucker for hope. And besides that...she was truly convinced that her brilliant talent and imagination could deal with such a complex case.

With being so lost in her own little world, Amelia didn't hear Alison knocking on the door and coming in.

''Exuse me, Dr. Shepherd...'' – Alison began, but stopped with her practised intro when she saw Amelia sitting alone in the room – ''Oh hi. I didn't mean to interrupt, but...''

Amelia finally snapped from some kind of a daydream and acknowledged Alison's presence.
''Hi, sweety. Don't worry, you're not interrupting. What you're up to?''

''Well sorry anyway. I'm actually looking for Dr. Robbins. The nurse told me she was here with you, but I can see she's not, so...''

''She was, but you know how Herman doesn't even let her breathe. Can I help?'' – Amelia offered, a little disappointed that Ali wasn't looking for her.

''Thanks, but Dr. Edwards needs a consult.'' – Alison responded flatly.

''Oh, okay.'' It was obvious to Amelia that something was going on with Alison. She seemed more distant than usual. '' I guess I can't help with the patient, but... Can I help you? Is everything okay? You seem, kind of, off.''

Ali felt like she was busted, but she wasn't ready to talk about missing her family and her confusion on how to deal with their situation. It was scary for her knowing that more people knew who she was. That alarm in her head that always warned her when to run was gonig off for quite some time. She was resisting. But it was harder every day.
The biggest problem was that one part of her was still afraid of completely trusting Amelia. And at the same time, the other part of her wanted to call Amelia 'mom' every chance she got and beg her not to leave and to love her and to take care of her. It sounded so silly in her mind and her pride woudn't let her say it out loud, but those were her feelings. Childish maybe. But sincere.

''Ali, honey, say something. What's going on in that brain of yours?'' – Amelia came closer and said softly.

'' Nothing. Nothing...'' – Alison tried really hard to believe what she was saying, but disstress was written all over her – '' I'm just having a rough day. And I need to find Dr. Robbins, ASAP. I guess I'll see you later.''

''Hey! Stop with that right now! I won't let you push me away.'' – Amelia replied slightly annoyed with her daughter – '' You're coming home with me tonight.''

''What? I can't...'' – Alison started to complain, but was cut off.

''Yes, yes you can and you will. Derek and Meredith are on call, so there goes your excuse.''

''But...'' – Ali was lost for words and she was a bit shocked with Amelia taking over and being in charge.

''Please, don't argue. It will lead us nowhere. Just give me the chance to be there for you. That's all I'm asking.'' – Amelia stated matter-of-factly, hoping that she was convincing enough. She actually felt like a real bossy mother in that moment. But she wouldn't back down. So to help her cause she offered a stern look to her daughter to show that she wasn't kidding.

''O-okay... Is this...Are you...'' – Ali stumbled upon words – ''Are you being a mother right now?''

The question got Amelia unprepared, but if she was going to be this girl's mother she had to start acting like one and fast, before it was too late. So she looked Ali straight in the eyes and without hesitation said – ''Yes I am.''

Alison asked the question, but definately didn't expect the answer she got. It surprised her and cought her off guard, but that warm feeling started creeping in, making her relax a little. In those moments in which Amelia stood her ground and demanded attention, Alison for the first time felt like she was actually mothered. It was strange. She had never experienced it before. But it was nice. It was nice feeling cared for.

Seeing that Alison was still lost for words and deep in her thoughts Amelia broke the silence more softly, but stern enough – ''When are you off? I'll probably be done around 7pm if I don't get pulled in an emergency.''

Ali had a hard time keeping her eyes on Amelia. She finally knew how ordinary teenagers felt when they were in trouble.
''Umm...My shift ends at 8pm.'' – she responded insecurely and looking everywhere around the room, except for Amelia's eyes.

''I'll wait for you here then. Okay?'' – Amelia smiled a little, trying to break the tension. She felt uncomfortable, but knew that that's what needed to be done. For more than two months she's been saying to Ali that she was there for her, but it felt like a huge wall was still between them. So, instead of repeating the same words over and over again, Amelia decided that it was time to act. People didn't say in vain that actions speak louder than words.

''Yeah... Okay...I...'' – Alison made herself look up at Amelia – ''I need to go now. Really need to find Dr. Robbins.''

Amelia nodded, afraid she might've pushed too much. But..., there was no going back.
''Try OR 2. I think she mentioned it earlier.''

''Thanks'' – Ali mouthed and rushed to get out of the room.

For some reason her 'running alarm' was insanely loud in her head. It was nice to feel Amelia caring enough to make her listen, but it was kind of scary, too. Was Alison ready for what was coming her way? She didn't know and she was truly terrified of her own reaction. Her guard was still on high alert and the great big wall still stood tall.

Some time later Amelia paged Hunt and Torres to come find her.
''Shepherd, you were looking for us...'' – Owen stated after coming in and seeing Amelia buried in scans and papers.

''Yes.'' – she moved the scans behind the papers and stood – ''Umm... The patient's awake.''

''Oh thank God.'' – Callie sighed in relief - ''That's great.''

''Wait.'' – Amelia interrupted before Callie could get her hopes up too much and continued sadly – ''He is awake, but unresponsive. There's no new or reccuring haemorage, but it's too soon to know how much function he'll regain or if there will be deficits. I'm sorry.''

Callie and Owen both frowned blaming themselves for letting something like that happen in front of their eyes.
''Does he have people? Beside his friend?'' – Owen asked.

''His parents are in Florida. They're on their way.'' – Amelia informed in comforting tone, seeing how close to home it hit Owen.

At that point Callie couldn't bear the burden of responsibility she felt. She was so happy her robotic leg worked and she pushed the boy too hard. Noone could tell her she wasn't the one to blame.
''Hunt, can I talk to you outside?''

Owen got to the door and just before leaving he turned around.
''You have people, right?'' – he asked Amelia.

''What do you mean?''

''I just mean...It's hard to deal with all this stuff on your own, but you have Derek and Meredith, so...'' – Owen even confused himself. He didn't actually think it through before the question popped out of his mouth.

''Yeah. And meetings. I'm pushing through. That's what we do.'' – Amelia responded with a smile. She thought to herself that maybe Owen could be her friend. She didn't really have friends in Seattle, just colleagues at work. It would be great to have a friend who would understand. Really understand.

''Right.'' – Owen returns the smile and starts to turn around to leave, but Amelia calls after him.

''Do you...have people?

''I'm...that's...'' – Owen stuttered a bit. Nobody has ever asked him that. He was just surprised that someone, who he didn't even know very well, except for work, cared enough to ask. ''I'm fine.'' – he finally said.

''I know. But you're right there, living in that little tin box on my brother's back lawn. I keep saying I'm going to move out, but I'm still at the house watching them glare at each other, so...Let me know... If you need people. I'm around.'' – Amelia rambled and shyly grinned at him.

''Thanks.'' – Owen was even more surprised with her honesty and open friendship invitation. It was rare to find someone who would lend a hand and say that they're around. 'We could really be great friends' Owen thought to himself. ''And thanks for the update.''

Alison and Edwards eventually managed to find Arizona. The news weren't good at all. Arizona only confirmed their suspicions, but didn't want to say anything before consulting with Dr. Herman. If anyone in the world was able to help it would be her. So the three of them went on to find her. They cought her in the hallway.

''Dr. Herman, we need to show you an ultrasound.'' – Arizona started hopefully.

''Robbins, fetal surgeon who can't read an ultrasound is like a chef who can't boil water.'' – Herman said with more then few hints of sarcasm in her voice.

''Just tell me what I'm looking at.'' – Arizona sighed.

''You tell me.'' – Herman raised her brow.

''I'm asking you.'' – Arizona continued stubbornly.

''Well, I want you to tell me.'' – Herman wasn't the one to back down.

Alison and Edwards just looked from right to left and left to right, like there were watching a tennis match. And Alison wasn't known for her patience, especially when she had the worst day ever. So without even thinking that she would be interfering in the argument of her superiors, she interrupted.

''We're concerned that it's osteogenesis imperfecta.''

Edwards felt the urge to punch Alison in the face for interrupting when it wasn't her place to talk at all. Arizona was just frustrated with Herman and plainly shocked with Alison to even react. And if she could Herman would raise her brow even more.

After seeing their reaction Alison felt sick and wanted to punch herself for being stupid. But Herman took a breath and spoke to Alison – ''Define it please.''

Before anyone could say anything else, she began with the definition, as easily as she would be if she was reading it from a book – ''A congenital birth defect in which the child has fragile bones, that are easily broken and for no reason. With the more fatal cases sometimes we can see the fractions in-utero. But...'' – Alison paused, not wanting to be right about this case – ''It's so rare.''

Herman nodded to Alison and turned to Arizona - ''Robbins, what makes you suspect it?''

''Size and mineralization of the head, no movement in the fetus, short femures that haven't grown.'' – Arizona answered.

''Prognosis?''

''That's what I'm asking you.'' – Arizona frowned.

''It's very sad'' – Herman began – ''If it is, indeed, type 2 and the infant survives birth, they don't usually live more than a couple of days or weeks.''

Alison felt a lump forming in her throat. She didn't want to be right this time. It made her sad that such a good person like April Kepner will have to go through something as terrible as that. It sooo wasn't deserved. Alison didn't know her that well, but she respected her as a doctor, teacher and a person. She was kind to everyone and always ready to help, even to clumsy interns. And she believed in God. For some reason that part was the worst to Ali. She couldn't understand why would God do something like that to such a good person.

It was just after 8pm, Alison was changing clothes when she got a message from Amelia.
Waiting for you

With everything that happened with April's baby she almost forgot that Amelia was waiting for her. The lump was still in her throat and tears were still threating. Alison had a hard day. She was tired and hungry and just wanted to hide in her bed, cry it out and sleep. It was her way of processing and she always did it alone. But as she was approaching Amelia, who was waiting for her on the bench, she knew that she didn't want to be alone this time.

Ali wasn't even that close, but Amelia could see the tears in her eyes. She immediately walked towards her and hugged her tightly, trying to show Alison that she really was there for her.

As soon as her head touched Amelia's shoulder, Alison couldn't stop the tears from falling.
''Baby, what's happening?'' – Amelia moved a little to look at her.

Once the tears started it was impossible for Alison to stop them. But when she saw Amelia's worried face, she barely managed to speak between the sobbs.

''Mom, I had the worst day...''

A/N: From my perspective this chapter is a huge turning point in the story : Ali finally calling Amelia 'Mom', Owen coming into the picture, Amelia making a plan for Herman's tumor...So many storylines to explore.

What storyline do you think I should explore the most? Are you liking the story this far?
I would love to hear your opinion.

Thank you for reading! :)