Alex sat cross legged on the bed as she tried to comb out the tangles to her waist length hair. After the cold shower, something in her awakened and while she was nowhere near back to her old self; she was ready to fight to get there. Happy had wrapped her in a towel and told her that he would let everyone know that she was going to be just fine before disappearing out of the room, giving her some privacy to get dressed. She was braiding her hair when the door swung open and Jax stood in front of her, looking the way she felt.
"Hap told me that you were better."
"Yeah well hearing that someone wanted to have me committed has a way of doing that." Alex said without any malice in her voice. "I've been trying to get along with your girlfriend but that wasn't her call to make."
"She needs to feel important, especially with everything going on." Alex furrowed her eyebrows. How out of it was she?
"What are you talking about?" Jax sighed as he grabbed the chair in the corner and placed it next to the bed before sitting down. Alex listened quietly as Jax caught her up on all events that occurred the past few weeks. From killing Weston to Gemma up at her father's cabin, there was not one thing that Jax left out.
"Jesus Christ." Alex whispered when Jax was done talking. "So you have no clue where Abel is?"
"I'm hoping Canada but I swear Alex, something about this whole thing just feels fucking off." Alex gave Jax a sympathetic look.
"I'm so sorry Jackson. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you, for all of you."
"Not your fault darling. Tara is heading up to the cabin to help out Gemma."
"Everything alright with you two?" Jax smirked at Alex.
"Shouldn't you be dealing with your own shit?"
"Dealing with yours has always been easier." Alex replied with a bit of a smirk on her face. "Come on cowboy, give me a distraction." When Jax raised an eyebrow, Alex laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. "I didn't mean it that way jackass."
"She doesn't belong here, doesn't belong in this life."
"You blame her?"
"Kinda hard not to. She puts on this big front, is always questioning every decision I make, whether or not I'm thinking about Abel when I go on club business. She claims to love him like he was hers but she didn't do shit to stop the fucker from taking him. She said she froze. What the fuck kind of explanation is that?"
"An honest one." Alex sighed deeply at the look of confliction on Jax's face. "Look sweetheart, we can never say how we would or would not handle a situation until it is presented to us. Tara has never belonged in this life, with this club but it didn't stop you two from being together before."
"She watched my son get kidnapped and didn't do anything."
"So what happens now? You are going to just push her away, become a complete and total dick until she finally leaves you? All that's going to do is make you miserable. You love her Jax."
"Yeah but I love my son more." Jax's cell phone started to ring and he offered Alex an apologetic look before opening the small device and walking out the door, leaving it open. Alex sighed as she placed her boot covered feet on the floor and rolled her neck until it cracked.
"You done eavesdropping yet?" Alex asked loudly. A few seconds later she saw a mass of brown hair as Tara walked into the room with tears streaming down her face.
"He hates me."
"This ain't about you. It's about his son. Now is not the time to start being selfish and thinking only of yourself Tara." Alex scolded as gently as she could.
"I did everything I could."
"No you didn't. Half-Sack did everything he could." Alex put her hand before Tara started to protest. "I'm not judging, just stating facts. The kid lost his life trying to protect you and Abel. That's giving it their all. They boys…they will die for the club and their families and they expect the same from everyone that's associated with them. Jax is hurt because he's son is missing and you are the easiest target. I'm not saying I agree with him, but I do understand his pain."
"So what do I do now?" Tara asked as she wiped the tears from her face.
"Go see Gemma, help her out as much as you can. You being here, it's not going to do him any good. He's just going to continue to resent you and that's going to end up making shit worse in the end. You gotta give him so room to process all this shit, Tara. It's the only way if you want to keep your relationship." Tara nodded her head as she stood up.
"Thanks Alex." Alex waited until the doctor was almost at the door before she called her name and Tara turned around.
"You tell Gemma, Jax will never forgive you. Keep that in mind when you're up at the cabin."
A while later, Alex finally emerged from the comfort of her room to face the men that had been worried sick about her. She allowed the boys to hug her and she apologized to everyone for her breakdown, although none of the boys wanted to hear her saying sorry over something that obviously wasn't her fault.
"So what's the plan?"
"Plan?" Clay asked.
"Yeah the plan to get Abel back."
"We hired a PI to try and get an honest lead and we will just go from there. How are you doing sweetheart?"
"Better, thanks to Happy."
"Well that's good." Clay said as he took in the woman's appearance. "So what's your plan?" Alex sighed as she thought for a moment.
"I guess I should get started on trying to prove my innocence in the fire so I can rebuild. It will keep me busy and my mind off of all the shit that has happened."
"Do you think that's smart?"
"Probably not but then again, I've never been known to make the smartest decisions."
"Remember Chucky?" Alex nodded as she wiggled her index finger. "That's the one. He was in the office at Caracara during the fire. We had him go down to the police station and make a statement. Hopefully it will help with the insurance shit."
"Thanks Clay. I'll call and find out." Alex looked over at Jax who was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the phone in his hand. "Hey, take care of him."
"Always." Clay responded and Alex hopped off the bar stool and went out for some fresh air.
"You look better." Alex turned her head to see Happy smoking a cigarette, a bottle of beer cradled in his hand.
"Well a cold shower will do that to you."
"I still plan on keeping my promise to you about killing those fuckers." Alex smiled at the raspy, protective voice.
"I know you do but finding Abel is the most important thing right now and that's what all of you should be focused on." Alex plopped down next to Happy and sighed as he pulled on her braid gently. "I feel bad that I missed Kip's funeral. I feel bad that Gemma is by herself, being accused of a murder she didn't commit, dealing with the ghost of her mother, I know that shit is hurting her to the core."
"Tig's with her." Alex snorted as she rolled her eyes.
"That doesn't make me feel better. Gemma and I have always had a way of getting TIg in more trouble than he could get into himself."
"Well shit, that speaks volumes." Alex swatted Happy's knee at his sarcastic tone.
"A part of me wants to go up the cabin, check on her myself…."
"But?"
"But if Tara, Gemma and I are all in one place, she was start to ask questions about who's watching Abel and I made a promise many years ago that the only person I would never lie to is Gemma. If I go up there, I'll have to tell her and I don't want to do that."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to stay here, keep the garage going, start the remodel of Caracara, make sure that everything at home will be taking care of for you guys when everything dies down." Alex leaned her head down to rest on Happy's shoulder and she was surprised when he wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Thank you for everything Happy." Happy just squeezed her waist as a response and the pair enjoyed the silence before all hell broke loose again.