I Wish To Remember

Oh my gosh. Last chapter! Sniff. I want to thank you all for being wonderful, loyal readers and reviewers and for giving me that extra motivation to keep me going. I'd never give up on you guys :) Sneak peek for the sequel in the epilogue... Oh, your going to love the epilogue. Yes... 'Love'. -cough- Don't kill me. READ AND REVIEW!!

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When I pressured Nathan into coming here, to Conner's house, I was confident we would win and save Dan. I didn't expect my hands and feet to be tied to a wooden chair. I didn't expect everyone else's hands and legs to be tied also. Even Nathan's useless at the moment. Who knew Conner had the strength to bring down a group of six... He shakily circles the room and I desperately try to shake free, while calming down Brooke and her hormones with my words. I might as well not be saying anything, because she is bawling her eyes out.

"I told you this was a bad idea..." Conner says to himself, again. He has been talking to himself since he tied us up. He stops in his place and stares at the gun in his left hand, perhaps contemplating to kill us all right here right now. He shakes his head and continues to circle the silent but deadly room.

"Haley..." Nathan says painfully next to me. I quickly bend over to silence his words with my lips. When I pull away, he nods and mouths I love you. I mouth it back.

I guess this is my fault. I just wanted to save someone. Why did it have to be Dan? The person who shot me and caused all this... He bought this on himself, you know. Conner never would of went homicidal if he didn't shoot me in the first place. The past four months wouldn't of happened, either. I would have had a lot more sex in four months. So it's his fault, too. It's his fault for everyone being here, including me and Brooke's hormones.

It's Carrie's fault too. If she didn't make me throw her and myself off a three story building, then I probably would of remembered long ago. Again, I would have had a lot more sex in three months while I was in a coma. So it's her fault too.

It's Conner's fault as well. Well, because he is Conner, the crazed physco. He interrupted me and Nathan on what possibly could have been a hot night. He made me not have sex once in my recovery state.

I guess it's a bit weird the only thing I can think about is sex and this room could possibly become mine and everyone's crime scene.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Conner yells slamming his hands against his forehead, the hard metal of the gun leaving cuts.

"We're not talking!" Brooke yells half sob. Oh no.

"Brooke!" Peyton says in a hushed whisper trying to get her attention on her instead of Conner. It doesn't get Brooke's attention, but it sure does get his.

He points his gun at Peyton. "You. Get up." The return of evil-Conner...

Peyton pulls at her ropes and puts a a scared smile. "I kind of cant."

"Don't be a smart ass with me!" He shouts hurriedly heading towards her and pulling at her rope. He points the gun at her again and she cautiously stands up and stands in the middle of the room. Although my eyes are transfixed on her, I can barely make out Jake's silent attempt to break free of his ropes to protect his girlfriend.

He circles her with a evil stare on his face. "What are you thinking?" He says in a somewhat seductive voice, pressing his chest against her back and the gun at her forehead. Oh, ew. He jumps at the sudden contact and tries not to run out the door and leave us all here. "What are you thinking?" He asks again, his voice more fierce than before.

"Leave her alone!" Jake screams trying to pull out of his chair. "She did nothing to you!"

Conner crouches so his head is between his knees, then comes back up with a outraged grunt. "She didn't do anything to me! She did it to everyone else!"

"They're is no one else!"

"Your wrong!" Conner screams, and we all push back a little. "First, it was Brooke when Lucas cheated on her with her... Then she ignored Haley when she went on tour! Then it was you! She proposed to you and she loved Lucas! Then it was Brooke again when she questioned if her love for her boyfriend was real."

I speak up. "How do you know that?" My voice is soft, but by how fast he turns his head to me, I know he heard. "How do you know everything about my life?"

He stares a me for a moment, his mouth wide open but no voice is coming out. The whole room is silent again, except for Peyton's panicked breaths from the gun at her forehead. I'm so sick of all this drama... This. Ends. Here.

"How do you know!"

No answer.

"Conner..."

"No!" He screams, taking his eyes off me and back on Peyton. "It doesn't matter how I know. But I know that all your lifes would be much better without this curly blonde on the planet."

"If you knew anything about me you wouldn't do that!" I scream back at him infuriated. Everyone seems surprised by my sudden act of courage. I push my chair forward towards him. "If your some stalker then your not a very good one! Peyton is my best friend! She's Jake's true love and Jenny's true mom!" My eyes begin to water now, and I hear my voice break. "She has to be there for Brooke! She promised!"

I can hear Brooke sobbing behind me now as I continue to push forward. Conner lowers his gun. "Brooke needs her." He says coming to a conclusion. Thank God. He quickly hits Peyton across the head with it, knocking her out. Jake begins to shout curse words at him. "But you don't need Nathan. You have me."

Oh fucker. He raises the gun towards Nathan. Everyone gasps as the sound of the gun reloading fills the room. No no, this does not end here! Putting all the strength in my legs, I stand up just as far as you can go when tied to a chair, and twist around so the old, wooden chair breaks against his back. He immediately falls to the floor in pain holding his back.

Ha! Haley James Scott: 1. Dan, Carrie and Conner combined: I won't count that one.

I twist out of the ropes from the broken pieces and pick up the gun he dropped, holding it shakily towards him. He slowly gets up with his hands up.

"You won't shoot me." He says shaking his head.

"What makes you think that? You don't know me."

"I do know you. I love you."

"How long have you been stalking me, Conner?"

The question doesn't come as a surprised to him, or anyone really. "A while."

"How long is a while?" I say urging him on. He drops his hands and he watches them tremble by his sides. "How long is a while!?"

"Five months." He says quietly. Oh the Gods sake. This guy has been stalking me for five months!?

"Why?" I say, my voice is cracked. "I went to visit Carrie. She told me you didn't move because of your father's work... She also said she had to watch you lie helplessly on the hospital bed."

"It all started with that damn headache..." He says softly. I can hear his heavy breathing from here. I don't lower my gun. "I thought it was nothing... But then I got that-that seizure." Uh. Wow. "I knew that was the end. Dad made us move so I could get better care, and I couldn't tell anyone because it would ruin his reputation. It wasn't until the second seizure that things really changed."

"How much changed?" I guess I don't sound very worried...

"About three years worth..."

"You were in a coma for three years!?" Brooke shouts shocked. I shoot her a look over my shoulder. "Sorry. Slipped out."

I look back at Conner now and he nods at Brooke, noting it's okay. "I was seventeen then, and had no memory whatsoever. When I woke, Carrie left saying she couldn't handle it. I didn't blame her, either. The first thing I remembered... Well, was you Haley."

I raise an eyebrow. Me? "When?"

"First time I woke up. I kept asking for you to save me... The doctor's couldn't explain it... I ca- I thought I could..."

"What did you think?"

He looks me in the eyes, and steps a inch further. I tighten my grip. "Love. But... I don't think that anymore. At least, I don't think."

"You don't think?"

"I have a split personality." That's reassuring. I step back and hold the gun steady, except it's very hard considering my hands are shaking as if it's snowing outside. "I-I don't know all of it yet... I seem to have a side of me that wants – needs to be with you... But the other side, this side, just wants to be your friend."

I hesitantly lower the gun in my hand, and I can now hear Nathan struggling to get out of his seat. I pretend not to take notice. "Why did you stalk me Conner?"

He looks around at everyone, then back at his trembling hands. "God! I'm so stupid!" He starts the repeatedly hit his head with his palms. I put down the gun and hold him by his sides to calm him down. He stops once were in contact and looks me in the eyes. Oh God. Now I'm stupid? What was I thinking, touching a mentally disabled man who has stalked me for five months?

"Kill me Haley."

What!?

I let go of him. "No. I'm not killing you Conner."

He grabs me by the sides this time, tight. "KILL ME!"

I slap him to snap him out of it. His head stays in it's place from where I forced it to look, and his grip tightens around my sides. My heart begins to beat fast, and before I know it I'm on the floor trying to push him off me with the heels of my feet and the palms of my hands. I can hear everyone screaming at him, and I can hear Nathan's painful cries as he attempts to break free by slamming his chair and hands against the wall.

I let out a involuntary shrilling scream as Conner's hands spread my legs apart.

The next bit comes as a blur. At first, he is trying to force himself inside of me, and now he is on the floor bleeding, already dead. I sit on my knees on the hard floor and look at the smokey gun in my hand. I killed him. I killed Conner Dawson.

Carrie's going to have my head on a stick.

--

"How are you feeling?" Nathan asks me handing me a coffee mug. I relax into the bar stool in my safe home.

"I'd be better if-"

"Hey," he says interrupting me, placing a finger on my chin. "You couldn't of saved him Hales. He did a bad thing, it's not like he didn't deserve it."

I left out a breath and relax my cheek into his hand. "I'm still sorry though, Nathan."

He nods lightly. "I know you are."

"When are we going to tell Jamie?"

"Not until the morning. If we tell him his grandfather died over two weeks ago, he won't be able to sleep again."

I nod and take a sip of my coffee. I hope this is all over now. I've had enough drama for a billion or so lifetimes. I've survived three attacks in the last four months. I might as well steal Jamie's cape and call myself SuperHaley. Superpower? Invincibility. Defiantly invincibility...

A sudden voice comes from the speakers singing a song. Holy crap. That's my song!

"Nathan..."

He smirks and sits up from his seat, offering his hand. "May I have this dance?"

I smile to stifle a laugh and take his hand. He leads me to the middle of the living room where he pulls me into a close embrace and we gently sway to the music. I lean my head onto his chest to feel his heart beating.

"How'd you get the recording?"

I feel him shrug against me. "Peyton gave it to me."

"Next time I'll record with Brooke then..."

His chest moves up and down from his laugh, and I hold on tighter to him. Just wanting to feel this miraculous feeling I'm feeling from him. It's amazing how good he can make me feel, especially seeing I nearly got killed again tonight. You'd think I would need therapy by now. But not with Nathan by my side.

"I never want to lose you Haley." He says.

I look up into his eyes and smile. "You wont. Always and forever."

He smirks at me and takes my hand to bring to the place on his chest near his heart. He leans down to whisper in my ear. "Feel this? It's the feeling I get whenever your around me. It's the feeling I get whenever you say those three words," he pauses and his smile increases. "it's the feeling I get whenever you kiss me."

I stand on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. "Oh yeah?" He nods. I smile and let my nose touch his before I let my lips feather against his before deepening it. I pull away and put my forehead on his. "I get that feeling too."

"Wanna create a better feeling?" He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

I can't help but laugh at his cheesy remark. "Oh, you know it."

He lifts me up bridal style and kisses me while he walks off the stairs towards our bedroom. Once inside, I can still hear the soft murmurs of the music downstairs. I take his hand and put it to my chest, singing along.

Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation
Under my breath