During the final days before Christmas, Molly set up a little Christmas tree and Victoria helped her place ornaments on it, including one with her own name. There were two other name ornaments, with Sherlock's and Molly's own name as well. Molly had purchased the ornaments when Sherlock had been staying with her, in the hopes that he might agree to hang his own ornament, to show Victoria he was proud of being her father. She contemplated whether she should even put the ornament on the tree, with things between them being so troubled, but finally decided To put his ornament on the tree, albeit at the back part of it where it would not be visible to any visitors, not that she ever had those anyway.
Victoria coloured some Christmas pictures to give as gifts to Mrs. Hudson and her father as well. By this time she was starting to ask daily, "Where's Daddy?"
Finally, on the day before Christmas, when Molly went over to Baker Street after work to collect Victoria, she had had enough. It was time for Sherlock to at least see his daughter before Christmas. The pages Victoria had coloured had been in the changing bag, and she had handed one to Mrs. Hudson that morning who had accepted it with delight and put it immediately on her fridge. Now, Mrs. Hudson informed her that Sherlock was home, although he had still not seen his daughter. Molly took Victoria by one hand, her other holding the carefully coloured sheet for Sherlock and went upstairs to 221B, knocking insistently at the door. How could he just ignore his child for almost a month? she wondered as she waited impatiently for him to answer the door.
Sherlock finally opened it and he looked very surprised. Victoria immediately tugged at his leg, "Up, Daddy."
He lifted her into his arms and kissed her cheek, then looked at Molly. "Well, this is an unexpected surprise. It's...good to see you." Molly could see that Sherlock was not looking well. He had obviously been burning the midnight oil. His face looked drawn and he appeared to have lost weight. Probably because I haven't been feeding him, she thought silently to herself.
"I thought you might like to see your daughter. She has been missing you. She also wanted to give you a Christmas present." She thrust the coloured page at Sherlock who took it with his free hand. She had intended to sound cold, aloof, but instead her voice trembled slightly. She'd missed him so much and it hurt that he hadn't even made an attempt to speak with her or Victoria since that night, that he hadn't decided he could confide in her.
He looked at the page and spoke to Victoria. "Thank you, sweetheart, this is beautiful. I'll have to put it somewhere special." Molly knew quite well he wouldn't be able to openly display a picture from her daughter, it might arouse suspicion, but she hoped he would at least place it somewhere where he could look at it.
Sherlock walked with Victoria and set her picture on the desk, then set her down gently. He retrieved Billy the skull and showed it to his daughter.
"Victoria, meet Billy. He is my pet skull and sometimes I talk to him. Would you like to look at him?"
Victoria reached for the skull, taking him from Sherlock's fingers. She was fascinated by the object, which Molly hoped was clean. Then Sherlock turned his gaze on Molly, who had ventured a few paces further into the flat.
"So, why have you not bothered to see our daughter for a month?" demanded Molly, keeping her voice low.
Sherlock's brow furrowed. "I thought you didn't want me to see her. At least, that was how I perceived things to be, before I left your flat," he informed her flatly, keeping his voice also low.
Molly stared at him. "What the hell are you talking about? For a detective who prides himself on his keen observation skills, you sure know how to miss the boat. Why on earth would I ever want you to not see your child? How could you think I would be so selfish?"
He narrowed his eyes at that. "Well, aren't you and Victoria a package deal? If I can't have you, I can't have Victoria," he stated.
She swallowed, casting a quick glance over at Victoria who was sticking her fingers into the empty eye sockets of the skull. She was going to have to remember to clean Victoria's hands thoroughly. She walked closer to Sherlock and looked up at him. "Oh my God, you are such a drama queen, Sherlock!" she exclaimed hotly, trying to hide the fact that she wanted very much for him to still have both her and Victoria. "Once and for all, let me make this clear. Whatever is, or isn't between us, you are Victoria's father. I would never say you can't see her. She loves you."
He turned and bent down to stroke Victoria's hair. "I love her too."
His voice was sincere as the toddler looked up from the skull and smiled. "Love you too, Daddy."
Molly's own lips curved upwards slightly. It was so ironic at how easily the words fell from his lips when referring to his daughter.
Sherlock raised his head to look at Molly. "Well, it is rather fortuitous you have arrived at this time. I was actually trying to decide when I might speak with you again, to perhaps settle some things. Do you have time for us to talk now?" His expression was an almost pleading one which surprised her.
She hesitated. "I'm not sure what we have to talk about, Sherlock." Please tell me you are ready to share your secrets with me, she thought silently.
"Please, Molly. I'll tell you more about what is going on tomorrow," he offered. "Will you let me explain?"
A wave of relief washed over her. His honesty was what she had been asking for, and if he wished to finally reveal what he had been keeping hidden, she wasn't going to deny him or herself that. "Alright then, but what do we do about Victoria?"
"I want Daddy," announced the toddler petulantly, turning her head in Molly's direction and frowning.
Sherlock stroked his daughter's hair again. "Daddy has a Christmas present for you. I'll give it to you early if you go and stay a bit longer with Nanny Hudders."
"Chwistmas pwesent?" Victoria asked excitedly, the skull completely forgotten, and falling the few inches, fortunately safely, from her fingers to the floor and Molly almost laughed out loud. Now that Victoria was two, she was very excited at the thought of Christmas. Decorating the tree had made everything more real for her, although Molly had also tried to explain that they would be celebrating the birth of Jesus on that day. Of course, Victoria was a little young to understand the real significance of Christmas. Presents was what it was all about, in the toddler's eyes.
"Yes, you go downstairs with Mummy and I'll bring it down." To Molly he said, "Okay? If Mrs. Hudson doesn't mind looking after her awhile longer?" He stood and clasped his hands behind his back expectantly.
"Fine," Molly agreed, before heading back downstairs, holding Victoria's hand.
Fortunately Mrs. Hudson was happy to accommodate her request. "Of course I can look after her while you and Sherlock talk. I've been wondering what has benne going on with you two, and the way Sherlock has been avoiding Victoria. She needs her daddy. I hope you can resolve your issues. I'll feed Victoria some dinner too," she offered graciously.
"Thank you," Molly said gratefully as Sherlock entered the flat through the still open door.
"I was going to leave this for Mrs. Hudson to give her," he explained, holding out a large wrapped package. It was obvious Sherlock was a complete novice when it came to wrapping presents. Multiple pieces of sticky tape adorned the poorly wrapped gift, but she appreciated that he had made an effort.
Victoria grabbed the package eagerly. "Daddy, help!" she demanded, and he clumsily assisted her to open the present, trying to carefully remove the multiple pieces of sticky tape without tearing the paper.
"Just rip it already," Molly told him, with a smirk. He was obviously as unused to unwrapping gifts as he was at wrapping them.
Finally the present was opened to reveal a miniature lab set, complete with plastic goggles and fake test tubes and beakers. Victoria looked at it with wide eyes, not quite comprehending what it was, but excited nonetheless.
Molly looked at Sherlock with an eyebrow raised. "Don't you think she is a bit young for that? The package says ages 3 and up."
"She's almost two and a half and she has very intelligent parents. It's never too early for her to learn about experiments," Sherlock said loftily with a shrug.
Victoria was fascinated by her present. "Wanna play with it," she said, trying to find where to open the box.
"I'll help you get all the pieces out and then we'll have some dinner," Mrs. Hudson said, nodding at Sherlock and Molly that they should leave.
"We'll see you soon, sweet pea," said Sherlock as Molly kissed her daughter's forehead and the couple walked back upstairs.
"Thank you, Sherlock, for thinking of her," Molly said as they entered 221B.
"Just because I thought you didn't want me to see our daughter doesn't mean I wanted her to think I didn't care. Victoria deserves to have a nice Christmas even if I can't be there for her," he told her in a slightly offended tone.
"Thought you didn't believe in Christmas," Molly teased, trying to lighten the sombre tone of their conversation.
Sherlock shrugged. "I suppose I am starting to re-evaluate things a little. Dying on an operating table can do that to you."
Molly was surprised and delighted to hear him say that. "I'm glad to hear it," she said, and impulsively she squeezed his hand. "So, are you ready to tell me more about what is going on?" she pressed.
He didn't allow her to release his hand, instead clasped it securely and pulled her towards the sofa. Once they were seated, he said, "I still can't tell you exactly what is going on, but I will tell you it is about more than Lady Smallwood. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I had to consider the ramifications. I asked the person in question whether I could reveal something to you, and I was granted permission but until you turned up today, I didn't know how to approach you, and had decided to wait until after Christmas," he explained, looking seriously into Molly's eyes. "There is someone else who Magnussen has blackmail information about, and it is someone we both know and care about."
"You mean John has some skeletons in his closet?" quipped Molly.
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "John is an open book. No, it's Mary. She has a past that I cannot talk about."
She stared at him in shock. "Mary? I don't believe it."
"Believe it. She and John are having some issues as a result of that past. It was important enough that she felt it necessary to shoot me to protect her secret. If I hadn't arrived at Magnussen's office when I did, he would have been her target."
Molly gasped and she felt light-headed. Mary, her friend, had been the one to shoot Sherlock? Suddenly anger burned within her. "How could she have done such a horrible thing to you?" she asked in a low, intense voice filled with anger, feeling her cheeks burn with the force of her emotions. Mary knew how she felt about Sherlock, knew he had a daughter. Then she realised that Mary had not known those things at the time, and her anger abated somewhat, although she could feel her hand trembling in Sherlock's.
He stroked her hand with his thumb. "Mary did not wish to shoot me fatally. She is an expert shot, believe me." There was a twist to his lips as he said the words.
"But why?" Her voice trembled and she felt that betraying lump in her throat that meant she was close to tears. The Bible was very clear in saying she should be quick to forgive, but this was such a devastating blow. Mary could not have guaranteed Sherlock's survival, and he had, in fact, died on the operating table. She spoke the words aloud. "It is only by the grace of God that you survived, Sherlock. She nearly killed you."
Sherlock's voice was gentle. "She also called the ambulance that saved my life, before John found me. Those minutes were the difference between my life and death."
Molly took a shuddering breath. "You haven't answered my question. Why did she shoot you?" Something came back to her at that moment. Sherlock had told Mary at the hospital, "You know Magnussen," and had seemed to assume Mary knew the type of man he was. "Oh, my gosh, Sherlock, she was already being blackmailed about her past by him, wasn't she?" she enquired, feeling sure of the answer.
Sherlock cast her an admiring glance. "As a matter of fact, she was. I can tell you now that the day I left the hospital, when I made this Christmas assignation with Magnussen," here, Molly cringed, 'assignation' was a bit of an understatement, "I also confronted Mary and forced her to reveal the truth to John. Then I told her I'd take her case and she told John and myself about her past when we got back to Baker Street."
Molly pursed her lips. "And nearly killed yourself again in your eagerness to discover the truth."
He flushed slightly. "Not one of my best ideas, I admit. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. However, I could not betray Mary's confidence. Last time Mary and spoke, I asked her permission to reveal this to you and she said she trusted me to make sure it went no further than you. She also said she had spoken with you and that she felt we needed to talk," he explained, then added, "but I didn't want to just turn up at your doorstep." He looked at her searchingly, obviously willing her to understand.
Molly curled her free hand into a fist in her lap. Were it not for Sherlock still holding her other hand, that one would have also formed into a fist.. "You've forgiven Mary for what she did to you, but this, well, it is going to take some time for me to process."
"I understand, Molly. I know what kind of woman you are, and I believe you will forgive her soon as well. It isn't in your nature to hold a grudge."
Molly's lips twisted slightly. "I'll try. But, Sherlock, are you sure you still have to go through with this plan of yours tomorrow?"
Sherlock sighed. He rested his other hand over the clenched fist in her lap. "Please believe me, this plan with Magnussen is something I have to do. If Mary's past is exposed it will ruin her, and probably end up causing more problems between her and John. They have a baby on the way. I want them to be able to raise it in peace without fear."
It all made sense now. Molly felt she understood where Sherlock was coming from. She was no longer angry with him, even if she still believed he was placing himself at great risk. He had always assigned great value to his friends.
Molly's hands trembled slightly, despite her resolve to stay calm. "I know what you are saying, but I still feel you are pursuing something incredibly dangerous here and that you are putting your future on the line. What if something bad happens to you? How do you think Victoria will deal with it?" How will I deal with it? she added silently to herself.
His thumbs stroked the backs of her hands gently. "Nothing bad is going to happen, Molly. I know Magnussen has those files. I just need to get at them, expose him for the blackmailer he is." He sounded confident, and Molly desperately wanted to believe him. Hadn't he always been successful in his schemes? He'd survived jumping off the roof of St. Bart's, after all.
"And then what?" she questioned. Brown eyes met his turquoise ones.
He looked at her steadily. "That is entirely up to you, Molly. You were the one who asked me to leave you last month. I did so at your request. Maybe you are the one who doesn't really want a relationship with me anymore. If that's the case, I wouldn't blame you."
Molly felt tears prick her eyes. "Sherlock, you have to know I still want to be with you. But I also want a normal relationship, one where we are not in this constant push and pull situation. We keep hurting each other, and our daughter is the one suffering because she doesn't understand why one minute her parents are together, the next, they are apart."
He sighed. "I don't want to hurt you or Victoria, Molly. It seems like that's all I've been doing, though. I want what's best for both of you. I...I care about you, very much. I don't know how I can make it more clear."
Say you love me, Sherlock. Say you want us to be a family, your family. She knew she couldn't say the words herself though either, in case she was deluding herself about the depth of his feelings. Perhaps this was as close as Sherlock could get to loving her, having a deep, abiding affection. "I don't doubt that you care. I guess I'm just scared of losing you," she told him honestly. "I'm terrified for what you are planning because if it all goes wrong, it won't matter whether we want to be together or not, you'll be in jail, and Victoria and I will be alone again."
Sherlock raised a hand to wipe away a tear that had slid down her cheek. "I'm not going to jail, Molly. Remember, once Mycroft's people find the files, everything I've done will be justified and forgiven." He looked so sincere, so sure of himself. "Trust me," he whispered, raising his other hand to her face and then he bent his head towards hers and kissed her.
Everything fell away, all her fears about the next day, all the hurt from the past month. She just knew this was the man she loved, the man she needed.
Her heart pounded in her chest as he continued to kiss her, moving his hands to slide beneath her blouse and jumper. He was reaching to unclasp her bra and she didn't resist. What if this is our last chance to be together? she thought desperately, her own fingers working at his buttons.
"I missed you so much, sweetheart," he groaned in between kisses, and she responded, lifting her arms so he could remove the constricting garments and throw her bra to the floor.
Then his hands were caressing her breasts before his mouth moved to do the same and she whimpered, feeling that surge of heat rising within her as it always did. She tried to pull his shirt away and feel his chest, but he ended up shrugging out of it himself. Then her fingers moved to his trousers and he stopped her. "Not here."
She barely registered it as he lifted her into his arms while she wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist before he carried her off to the bedroom.
The month of separation served as fuel for the fire that had erupted within them. Their movements were swift as they removed the rest of their clothes in their hurry to be together again. "I missed you so much, baby," he murmured and Molly thrilled at the caressing note in his voice. He said he missed me twice, and he called me sweetheart and baby, she thought in amazement and delight.
Sherlock lavished her with kisses and touches everywhere until she was whimpering with need for him and at last their union was complete. Despite their haste, it was still an incredibly satisfying feeling, being together again, sharing their intimacy with each other. They were two people, yet they were one with each other.
As they lay together afterwards, waiting for their breathing to return to normal, Molly noticed something that gave her hope again for their future. The pictures from so long ago that had been in Sherlock's wallet were now in a photo frame, sitting on his bedside table along with another picture of Victoria, apparently taken in Mrs. Hudson's flat. Perhaps he did love her after all, but was unable to express the sentiment.
After this Magnussen case is over, it's time for me to ask him what he truly wants from Victoria and me, whether he wants us to be a family or not, she decided silently.
But for now, she could wait.
Author's note: I have to say thanks to comp1mom here for a comment she made in a review about how interesting it would be to see Molly's reaction if she found out Mary shot Sherlock. I had not originally written the story to have Sherlock reveal that, but decided this was the right chapter to do that, to show that Sherlock trusts Molly. Of course, he had to get permission first from Mary to reveal the truth.
I know, these two can't stay away from each other long, no matter how hard they try. As usual, I wanted to make sure there was a little parentlock in the mix (thanks to reader parentlock who is a big fan obviously of that haha), so I keep adding more Victoria.
By the way, the Christmas ornaments are a nod to my First Christmas - Take Two one-shot from my "real" universe for them where Molly gives Sherlock a gift of ornaments with their names on them. If you haven't read it, take a look and I'd love to hear what you think of that one too :)
What will happen next? Go on, make a guess!