Chapter Twenty-one
Broken Vows
As the fates would have it my decision to be cold and uncommunicative with Meg gets derailed by none other than Meg. Heinrich sent her a note informing her he would be gone for a few days. From the moment Meg opened the envelope it was as if a cloud evaporated and the sun came out. From her reaction one would think she had been given a reprieve just at the hour before the execution was to be carried out.
Animation colored her cheeks as she spoke about hoping to take a ride through the countryside and perhaps enjoy a picnic. I nearly choked when she asked me to join her. Genuine eagerness for a positive answer looked back at me as I examined her for any signs of deception. Only innocent youth stared back at me. At the moment she appeared to be far younger than her years. Vitality returned to her and it spread to me.
Our time together let me see a part of Meg she kept hidden, a part I wanted to see again and again. The woman spending time with me did not reconcile with the treacherous betrayer I thought I saw before. Something in that scenario did not ring true. Not even the most accomplished actress could pull off the change in Meg so convincingly without there being some truth in it. Foolhardy or not I let myself be reeled in once again. Honesty forces me to admit I wanted to believe Meg was being blackmailed rather than willingly spent time with another man, a man more handsome and much younger than I.
Time slipped past in an idealistic haze. We needn't openly declare anything right now as everything was still too new and unsure. We were only just finding our feet once again so we could feel comfortable with one another. Now that I knew that things were not as they appeared I made it my business to find out what exactly Heinrich held over Meg one way or another. My emotional state would not make this easy. I would have to fight off my impulsive nature in order to get to the bottom of things.
If Meg proves duplicitous my life will not be worth living. My soul will shrivel and die. A heart can only take so much battering before it is damaged beyond the point that it can continue on. If this turns out to be anything other than Meg being forced into betraying me I won't want to live another day. I'll write my goodbye's to Gustave then end my misery once and for all. Finally I have reached the end of my endurance so that I have the necessary strength to end the life God gave me. So far it hasn't been much of a life. As I have so often noted about my emotions I tend to overdramatize everything. My creative mind at work I assume.
After only a few idealic days the dark cloud of doom returned sending word he would be arriving tomorrow. Conventiently for him tomorrow is the day I do business in the city. Meg's return to the sad eyed creature from a few days ago spurs me on to come up with a solution to our problem. As she clung to me tonight I wanted to reassure her in words that I would protect her but instead I hoped the tight way I held her against me told her all she needed to know. I can't say anything to her about what I am thinking lest she give me away to Monsieur Grueber.
It was time I brought out my old skills for finding out information others did not wish to depart to me. This morning I left as usual for my Wednesday meeting at the solicitor's office but this time I leapt from the carriage so I could walk back to the house unnoticed. I planned to be in a hiding place in whatever room Meg and her friend conducted their business. There is nothing romantic between them. No flowers arrive, there are no intimate dinners only the meals shared at a restaurant with hordes of other diners around or an evening at the theatre with several other questionable people Meg is not acquainted with as far as I know. Would not a man want to be alone with a woman he wanted to court, even a proper gentleman? Children born on the wrong side of a blanket weren't found underneath a cabbage patch. They had to be conceived before proper vows were taken.
Any normal healthy male would give his right arm to spend time alone with Meg and yet here is this man who professed he would be courting her letting opportunity after opportunity pass without taking advantage of his supposed connection to Meg. He sends no little trinkets, nothing to show his intent. There is a menacing shadow in any room he occupies. Evil knows evil. I recognize a fellow monster. I live in hope mine is caged and will only be let loose when in dire need of such darkness.
Knowing the layout of my home it is easy for me to slip in unnoticed. I have to use the secret passageway that I added within my walls to search out what room they are in. Dread filled me that it would be Meg's bedroom. Such profound relief overtook me yet I won't admit just how worried I was that Meg might take her lover or supposed lover to her bed in my very own residence. If that happened I'd need to set a match to the place as I couldn't bear to set foot inside it ever again. Eventually I locate them in the same parlor we had been in on his last visit. Does Meg not trust him enough to acquaint him with any more of my home? There are several sitting rooms that are more comfortable and offer a pleasant view.
Settling in comfortably against the wall I listen in on their conversation without one iota of shame to be felt within me. Unless they become mimes I will know everything that passes between them. What I will do if there are any pregnant pauses in the conversation where I only hear the rustling of clothing I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I know it will be far more pleasant for me than those I spy upon.
"No! I won't do it, I won't!" Meg shouts defiantly. To what demand I don't know as I just arrived.
"Come, come Meg. You know you have no choice. Of course if you don't care if your…what is he anyway Meg? Lover, patron or simply someone you are duping so that you can clean him out? If that's the case why be so critical of me? I only want a small portion of his vast wealth. After all I don't want to be greedy. I'll settle for what you have with an added bonus of what I can clean out just as soon as you lure Mr. Garnier out of the house for a sufficient time period. The servants are no problem. What man of wealth only has two servants inside and a third woman of questionable qualifications to see to his needs? Lord knows when I get what's coming to me I'll have a houseful of servants waiting on me hand and foot," arrogant words I shall make him regret later.
I hear Meg gasp before Heinrich speaks again with what I am sure he believes is a persuasive tone, "Play your cards right and I may even let you come with me Meg. Would it not be better to follow the money than stay here working off your debt with such a disgusting man?"
I do believe I hear Meg say something very vulgar and what sounds like flesh meeting flesh. I do believe Meg has delivered a very sound slap to her guest's face. "Damn you. So now the street whore comes out. That's fine with me Meg my sweet. I don't mind a bit of rough stuff. It makes it all the more exciting. I can rut with the best of them ask any of my lovers. They all know Henry likes to play rough," he boasts crudely then I hear a loud crack of a hand across another cheek. Meg's painful cry informs me the cad has struck her soft skin. I shall pluck his limbs from his body one by one like a cruel child does a butterfly. He will pay, oh how he will pay.
"I'd rather lie with a viperous snake than spend one more second with you beyond what is necessary to win my freedom from you," Meg spits out defiantly earning herself another crack across her face. I would applaud her bravery if it wasn't for the fact she is suffering his hands upon her tender flesh. She'll be bruised later I am sure.
I hear a crash which I assume is the result of him pushing her away from him. I have confirmation of this when he says with a spiteful chuckle, "Why Meg I do believe you have broken that chair. How ever will you explain that? Since we must keep the true nature of our association secret I know you'll come up with something convincing."
There is silence for a brief moment then he says, "My, my. Look at the time. I simply must fly sweet Meg. How about a kiss? No? What a shame. Should I make that as an additional demand? You give me your body willingly? I promise I can make it good for you. Ask Fleck if you don't believe me."
Fleck? What has he to do with my former employee? I haven't heard anything from her since a week or so after the tragedy. I assumed she had left the country with her father as they had talked about so often. Could that be where she met this Heinrich? He does have a hint of an accent but nothing definitive enough to ascertain if he was born somewhere else or lived in America with immigrant parents. He could pick up his accent from them if they only came to the country just before his birth. I judged him to be in his mid-twenties.
Meg's sobs coming from the other side of the wall drive everything else from my mind. Tears coming from a woman are something I cannot bear. It is a weakness I abhor but cannot control. My plan to pretend to be in ignorance of the situation is tossed away as I slip into the room through a sliding panel. Meg has collapsed on the floor in a miserable heap shaking with the force of her tears.
Without hesitation I kneel down and gather her in my arms. She must have thought I was Heinrich returning to carry out some part of his evil plan because she flinches away from me. Her cowering reminds me so much of how Christine responded to me back when madness claimed me. I may have some of that madness in me now but not uncontrolled as it was before and no longer with Meg as its target.
Lifting her head she looks at me then launches herself against me and cries piteously, "Erik, oh Erik. I thought…I thought you were him coming back to finish what he started. Forgive me. Please forgive me."
I didn't realize how shaken I was until I used my hand to brush away the stray hairs from her face. My hand shook as if I had palsy. I found it hard to breath. Speech seemed to have deserted me. All I can think of is Meg is upset and possibly physically hurt and I didn't do a damn thing to stop her tormentor from leaving. Concentrating on the physical it takes a while for it to dawn on me she is begging my forgiveness for what isn't clear to me just yet. From what I overheard she is not having an affair with Heinrich nor is she inclined to do so anytime soon.
Tightening my arms around her I nearly crush her in my attempt to give her comfort. She makes no protest and even snuggles deeper into my chest. In this moment I am awash in feelings so powerful they cannot be ignored. I know now that what I am feeling for Meg is more than just a physical yearning. I want her heart and soul. After Christine I doubted I could ever feel such an emotional closeness with anyone again.
My heart nearly bursts out of my chest when Meg slides her lips along my cheek to let them come to rest on my own. There is no desperate fusing of lip to lip but more of a tentative exploration. Will I frighten her if I deepen the kiss? Restraining my basic urge to take command of our embrace I let Meg control what will or will not happen. I am not experienced in such matters unlike Meg who has had…No! I will not defile this first tender intimate moment with those sorts of thoughts. This exchange will remain innocent of any encroachment from our pasts.
When I cannot remain still and unresponsive any longer I place my hands on Meg's face and gently glide my tongue across her lips. Instantly she opens to me but I refrain from entering her open lips. If I give way now I won't be able to stop until I have claimed her and our first time together should not be consummated on the floor of my parlor. I deeply regretted how I took Christine on the hard surface of the rooftop. That night was pagan desires let run amok. I want to woe and seduce Meg as I should have done with Christine. Stalking her and giving her ultimatums were not a proper courtship. Is it any wonder Christine chose to go with Raoul?
Before things can get out of hand I stand to collect myself before offering to help Meg to her feet. She does not shy away or appear to have any regrets, on the contrary she places her hands on my shoulders and leans against me. Does she know how loose my grip is on the tether I have on my lust? Before we can move on we must sort out this recent turn of events.
"Meg we must stop," are the words I speak but inside a voice shouts at me to take what I want.
"Stop, but I thought…I thought this was what you wanted," hurt is woven with bewilderment in her words.
"Believe me Meg stopping is the last thing I want but it is the right thing to do for now. I don't want our first time to be sordid or overshadowed by misunderstandings. You have something you have been hiding from me concerning your dear friend. I will have an explanation before we go any further," I tried to keep the rising anger from coming out but a little of it seeped out anyway.
I can see Meg is on the verge of tears again. After such a traumatic experience she must be exhausted. A hot bath, a warm meal and a good night's sleep is what she needs.
"Meg there will be plenty of time tomorrow for us to speak regarding this matter. For now go to your room and take a hot bath. I'll send Cook up with a light meal then you must pop into bed," I sound almost avuncular.
"Sleep? What about…" I silence her by placing my finger on her lips. Sliding it seductively down over her soft flesh I feel her shiver. My lips land just where my finger had been moments ago.
We are both winded when we part. Knowing she is just down the hall from my own room it is doubtful I shall sleep a wink. I will use that time to begin some sort of plan.
What I will do depends on just what Monsieur Heinrich Grueber had in mind. I'll let his own greed be his downfall. A diabolical plan begins to formulate in my mind. Yes, this will work perfectly and the end result will have nothing to do with me or very little anyway. My conscience will remain clear. Grueber will decide his own fate.
A/N: The plot thickens.