AN: thanks so much for the reviews! Most are really, really helpful!
It was not surprising that Elizabeth and Georgiana had a late start in departing London. It was nearly noon before they both appeared for breakfast.
Soon after, though, they left for Netherfield, as planned. The carriage was quiet inside as they clattered through the streets. Elizabeth watched the frenetic city display itself as they drove through, wondering if Darcy were even now showing General Wellington blast furnaces and iron castings.
As the crowded streets gave way to fields, she turned to her travel companion. "I heard you come in last night," she said softly.
"Surely, you mean this morning," Georgiana said, yawning and stretching.
"Mrs. Bowes did not accompany you?"
"No," Georgiana agreed. "She wished to go home, shortly after you did, poor thing. But she plans to come and call on you at Netherfield directly. My friend, Lady Spencer, stayed with me until I departed the party."
Elizabeth regarded Georgiana thoughtfully. "Were you with General Wellington the entire time?" she inquired.
"What is it you wish to know, Elizabeth? For you may as well just ask it."
"Your brother thinks that the General is not trustworthy where women are concerned," she finally said.
Georgiana laughed shortly. "I see. And where was my brother when he told you this, I wonder?"
Elizabeth flushed, and Georgiana gave her a guilty look. "I apologize, cousin. I did not mean that. Nothing on this earth could give me greater joy than for my brother to find the happiness that has eluded him for so long, and he is the most honorable of men."
"But I am a woman grown and can look after myself. Fitzwilliam does not need to think my thoughts for me anymore," she finished decisively.
"I just hope you haven't compromised yourself," Elizabeth sighed.
Georgiana gave another short laugh, this one full of bitterness. "Compromised?" she said. "No, Lizzy. It is far too late for that; your brother in law saw to it."
Elizabeth turned pale. "My brother in law? You mean Wickham?" she said in astonishment. "But they were able to stop you in time! There was no harm done!"
Georgiana snorted. "Well, of course there was harm done. What did you think happened, when a man like George Wickham was given unfettered access to a sheltered and infatuated 15 year old girl? And one with a fortune, no less? No, the true harm would have been if I had actually been condemned to spend my life with him, eventually to be abandoned, no doubt. Ruined, broke, and shunned is how I surely would have ended up by the time he was finished with me." She paused, now looking at Elizabeth, without any trace of self pity. "I apologize if my words give you pain, given that your own sister was not so fortunate. But make no mistake, he did, indeed, compromise me." Now she looked down at her hands folded calmly in her lap. "I thought you knew."
"I am so sorry, Georgie. Is that why you have never married?" Elizabeth asked quietly.
Georgiana kept her gaze on her hands, waiting for a time to respond. "At first, perhaps," Georgiana acknowledged. "I was frightened that it might happen again, and I felt powerless." She fell silent, but Elizabeth waited patiently for her to continue. "I gradually recovered my confidence, though, and Fitzwilliam allowed Lady Matlock to present me. You and Richard were away, at the time, but surely she wrote to you of it."
Elizabeth nodded, remembering her mother-in-law's letters full of cheerful, vivid details about all the young men who pursued Georgiana Darcy.
"There have been men I thought I might love, certainly whose company I enjoyed," she recalled. "But no one I could see spending a lifetime with. There has been an insubstantiality to them all. After my aunt died, I just no longer bothered to make appearances at those sorts of social gatherings. I am more likely to attend the salons at Miss Berry's house; I fear my aunt would never have approved of such eccentric company, but I am glad to be relieved of the marriage mart."
She looked out the window thoughtfully. "Perhaps Wickham actually did me a favor, in a fashion," she said. "My father ensured that I would never need to marry for money, and George ensured I would never marry for infatuation. So between them, I have the rare and happy circumstance of being able to live as I please."
Elizabeth was much shocked by Georgiana's speech. She had the odd sensation that she was riding in the carriage with a stranger.
"Please, do not look at me so," Georgiana begged her. "Do not judge me, Lizzy. I do not mean to say that I live outside all bounds of decency and propriety! For the most part, I live a quiet life at Pemberley, caring for my nieces. It is a good life, and I am content; I just feel no need to marry."
Elizabeth offered her cousin a small smile. "I could not judge you, Georgiana, especially given my own conduct of late. I do need to adjust my understanding of who you are, however; you are no longer the shy and timid girl I once knew. Challenges to my preconceptions seem to be a common experience for me of late. I scarcely even know myself these days."They rode in silence for some minutes. "I did not lie with him, Elizabeth," Georgiana finally said in a hushed voice. "Though I confess that I was willing; he said he held me in too high esteem to dally with me. I thought perhaps he did not find me attractive, or perhaps too young and silly. He kissed me in a way that left me with no doubts, however, and it is something I will never forget."
Georgiana looked out the window wistfully. "How unfortunate," she continued, "that I should finally meet a man who appreciates beauty but is unafraid of brutality; whose courage is rooted in self-knowledge, and not in the inconstant view of those around him. Someone who is compelling, in mind and body, and he is some 15 years my senior, married, and off to war."
She turned anxiously to Elizabeth. "You will help me convince Fitzwilliam to allow me to write to him, won't you? I know he will see that as improper, but now that I have found him, I cannot bear to be out of contact."
"From what you have just relayed of your character, I do not see how your brother could stop you!" Elizabeth teased. Seeing Georgiana's stricken expression, she sought to reassure her cousin. "Of course I will speak to him, if you wish it. But have you really grown so attached, in so brief a time?"
Georgiana blushed. "I confess, I have. It was neither expected nor wished for on my part, I assure you."
"And you are aware of his reputation?"
"Quite. It does not trouble me. But I have been selfish; what of you, dear cousin? It seems you and my brother have reached an understanding."
Elizabeth shifted in the seat, not as comfortable with such confidences. "We have," she admitted. "I feel no shame in my feelings or even my actions, but I confess to a considerable amount of confusion in my heart."
She glanced at Georgiana, who did her best to appear neutral.
"Richard is barely cold in his grave, and I am already warming his cousin's bed. It does not feel right, even though it is what he told me to do," she glanced at Georgiana, who looked startled. "Aye, it is true; he told me on his deathbed that he knew of the attachment between your brother and me, and extracted a promise that I would come to him straightaway."
"How is one supposed to feel, when that is a beloved husband's dying wish? I stayed in Lisbon for more than a month after I lost him, pondering that very question. It is no comfort that he was right, and that I have feelings for your brother that are far deeper than I allowed myself to know."
She looked out the window. "I never expected to love anyone but Richard," she said, her voice desolate, "and now I have found that I yearned for someone else all along. It is impossible that I should feel contented by this."
Georgiana moved next to Elizabeth on the seat and wrapped an arm around her waist. They leaned their heads together and rode in silence for the rest of the journey, each lost in her thoughts.
The mood changed considerably when they arrived at Netherfield, with Thomas running out of the house to greet the carriage. He was wild with joy.
"Mama! Mama! You did come back, just as you said you would!" Elizabeth swept her son into her arms, holding him so tightly he began to squirm. He nestled his small head against her neck and wrapped his arms contentedly around her. There was rightness and comfort in the pressure of those small hands on her skin, a love pure and uncomplicated.
"Mama," Thomas said in an exaggerated whisper. "Who is the pretty lady?"
"Oh, forgive me! Dear, this is Miss Georgiana Darcy! She is Uncle Darcy's sister."
Thomas smiled at Georgiana, looking at her through lowered lashes.
Georgiana laughed in delight. "Well met, Thomas! Are you not the charmer? I have not seen you since you were a little baby, and here you are, already flirting with the ladies."
Jane came out to meet them, hugging her sister and friend and bringing them inside. Both were very glad to be in her soothing presence and comfortable home.