Leonard hated Mondays. Hated them with a passion that burned so bright it made Jim's ambition like the pale glow of candlelight. It was a recently formed opinion.
"Breathe, Bones, you've got this." Even Jim sounded a little uncertain, though his face was carefully arranged into a fiercely confident expression. "We've been over this a dozen times; it's nothing new."
"Better hope so. Otherwise I'm out." He tried to make it sound matter-of-fact, but some of his trademark pessimism must have slipped in because Jim clapped him so hard on the shoulder he was sure it left a mark.
"You've got this, even the laws of average are on your side. This will be a perfect run, we will graduate together and you will rule the Enterprise's sickbay."
Leonard glanced up at the dimmed sign above the door: SIMULATION IN PROGRESS
Jim had promised to wait right out here for him, but Leonard didn't trust him anywhere near the sensitive computer. Not after the Kobayashi Maru debacle.
"Cadet McCoy?" Came a muffled voice from within, an older Denobulan gent stepping out with PADD in hand.
"Doctor." Leonard and Jim chorused together without missing a beat. The assessor looked singularly unimpressed, but it had put some of the wind back in Leonard's sails. Enough that he was able to cross the threshold without so much as a friendly nudge from Jim.
He glanced back once just before the door slid shut behind him, flashing a passing imitation of his usual smile. Jim grinned and waved, just another day at the races. Or career-deciding sim, as it were.
They had agreed last night over barbecue that Jim wasn't going to loiter around waiting on the results. Promising over barbecue was a sacred trust, and Jim didn't intent to abuse it… ever again.
He made his way out to the quad; leaving the building had to count for something and the sunshine looked inviting. Leonard hadn't been too bad their last couple of run-throughs- a little unexpected turbulence, still a little heavy on the landing but nothing so bad a little more experience couldn't fix it.
Convincing Bones of that when he was so determined to panic was a lost cause, so Jim had settled for screwing his brains out. Privately he thought he had made the better end of the deal, and Leonard certainly hadn't been complaining.
Jim flicked through his comm, auto-deleting all the congratulations- mostly envious- for his 'Maru coup. He saved Gaila's, at least, impressed with the sheer number of exclamation points and smiles she could fit into a paragraph. He also saved the message from Uhura warning him Spock was on the warpath, whatever the hell that meant for a Vulcan.
Between the warmth, birdsong and soothing chatter, it wasn't long before Jim drifted off to sleep.
He came to with a start sometime later, skin prickling with the awareness of being watched. It was a knee-jerk reaction, one instilled after too many nights of Frank stomping into his room and watching him like a hawk, waiting for the first sign of Jim stirring so that he could shout the house down in his latest fury.
It still wasn't a pleasant feeling to wake to even years later, but he very nearly revised his opinion when he spotted the culprit perched on the bench a few meters away.
"Jim!" Joanna chirped the second he twisted to get up, so obviously glad to see him awake his heart warmed a little to see it.
She didn't bother waiting for him to gain his feet and come to her, throwing herself enthusiastically off the bench and sprinting to him with a loping stride, nothing remotely uncertain in it.
"Jo." He greeted, braced for when she unreservedly tossed herself into his arms, nearly tumbling them back onto the grass. She looped her arms about his neck and squeezed until Jim was certain he was courting asphyxiation, but he tried not to be too obvious about disentangling her.
"Where's your mom?" He glanced around the quad, a little perturbed at the thought she might have been watching him sleep too. No matter what Bones said about her coming around, no matter what excuses he had started to make for her, in Jim's mind she was always going to be the villain.
As the hero in his tale, Jim didn't want her ever having the drop on him- or Bones- again.
"She's waiting for Dad inside. She said I could come out." Joanna smiled broadly, all teeth on display. Jim gathered this was supposed to be good news, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why.
"He's in a test."
"I know." Her smile only broadened.
Jim debated for a few seconds before finishing the thought. Bones didn't approve of dragging his daughter into her parents' dispute, but Joanna was clever for her age. Whatever opinions she already had wouldn't be easily influenced by an almost stranger.
"I don't think she's the first person your dad wants to see when he finishes."
Jo's smile dimmed only slightly, taking on a knowing edge. "He will today. She wants to talk about me."
That could either be very good or very bad. Seeing as Bones was stressed enough without having to contend with his ex in court, Jim was praying for the former.
"You think it's good news." He said, trying to keep the hope out of his voice. Leonard had said he mostly wasn't allowed to meddle in personal affairs, but Jim was far too invested in this tangle to hold his peace and wait.
"I heard her talking to Gram." Jo bounced up on the balls of her feet, a gesture Jim had become familiar with during his time with Bones. Seeing it now brought the start of a smile to his lips. "It's going to be okay."
Of course it was. Between the two of them, neither Leonard nor Jim had any intention of letting it come out any other way. But it would all be so much easier if Jocelyn could be persuaded without Federation brass breathing down her neck.
"We should stay out here." Jim breathed. He was nosy, sure, and anxious, and Bones needed an ally and-
Resolutely he tamped down on his impulses before they could get the better of him. Leonard had spent the better part of Saturday morning lecturing him on personal space and free will, interspersed with hands-on demonstrations that had left both of them sated and too tired to get up until well into the evening. Oh well. Leonard had needed the break, and Jim hadn't realized how badly he did too until he had spent a day wrapped in bedsheets and a boyfriend.
Joanna nodded, glancing toward the building. "We'll see them when they come out."
She turned back to him, face suddenly solemn and settled on the ground with a peculiar sort of poise out of place in someone so young. This was another expression he recognized: The Talking To.
Though exactly what he had done to earn it from Joanna McCoy Jim was eager to hear.
"I need to tell you something." She murmured after a careful scan of their surroundings, leaning forward to keep it between the two of them. It was adorable, and it took a considerable amount of self-discipline not to grin, but Jo was so earnest he feared bruising her feelings if he didn't show a similar caution.
So he bit the inside of his lip until he was certain he wouldn't smile and crossed his legs, hunching forward and tilting his head so she could whisper.
"Dad likes you."
Jim couldn't muffle his snort, "We knew that already, didn't we?" He thought back to their first conversation and Joanna's coy grin as she had so carefully manipulated them together. She was going to break dozens of hearts someday, he was sure.
"No, that's not the important part." She waved his objection away with an airy gesture, shaking her head in denial. "You just need to know, because he's not gonna say it often. That's why Mom has Clay now."
Jim felt a little knot of anger in his gut, curdling at the thought of Jocelyn trying to explain things like this to a kid that should have been dreaming about starships and adventure and happily-ever-afters.
Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face because Jo's brows quirked with worry, "It's not that he doesn't…" she trailed off, swallowed, "Love you. It's just hard for him to say." She blushed wildly, color rising to the very tips of her ears. He tactfully pretended not to see her embarrassment, amused at how much it had cost her to say it herself.
Father, daughter.
"He loves you very much, Jo." If Bones didn't say it enough, Jim was more than happy to do it for him.
"I know that." She rolled her eyes, "I'm his daughter, he says it to me all the time. You just need to know it."
"You can leave that to your dad and I."
Joanna's eyes narrowed, lips pursing as though she were giving the matter serious thought. Considering who she was and whence she came, Jim thought it was a very real possibility.
Eventually she nodded her agreement, looking satisfied with whatever conclusions she had come to. "You're right."
"I usually am." Jim shrugged, laughing aloud when Jo tsked.
Her disapproval didn't keep her from laying down in the grass beside him, plucking at the strands idly while she watched the tall building from the corner of her eye. "Do you think he's done yet?"
"Not yet."
"Then when?"
In some ways she was still very much a child Jim was relieved to find, but his mind circled back to a question he had been waiting to ask since she had first raised the subject.
"So your mom found someone too, huh? How do you like him?" Jim tried to keep the question casual, acutely aware that he was intermeddling again, but he would be damned if he was going to stand by while Bones' daughter was stuck with someone like Frank.
"He's nice, I guess. Mom likes him, and they don't yell very much. I like that."
Jim relaxed imperceptibly.
"But I still don't like him." She added defensively.
Despite himself, Jim let it rest at that, remembering all too many lectures on the subject of his mother's dating history. Precisely none of which had ever convinced him to like her boyfriends. He was glad now, really, that she had eventually moved on enough to find someone else. He just wasn't ready to comm and tell her so yet. Not after so many years of silence between them.
Whatever objections she had to her mother's boyfriend clearly derived from dogged loyalty to Bones. Jim suspected with time most would resolve themselves. If not, Jim had every faith Bones would be the first to know. And unless he missed his guess, curiosity would easily overpower Jo's creeping sense of guilt.
So instead of dwelling on the subject, he cunningly redirected the conversation by the simple expedient of plucking a blade of grass and holding it up for Jo's inspection. "Have you ever used a grass whistle?"
Success! Joanna perked up immediately, eyes flicking from the grass to his face and back again. "How?"
Balmy spring day Leonard's sim was not, and his 'co-pilot' nowhere near so helpful as Jim. Every time he thought he finally had the damn craft under control, some new sensor would screech bloody murder at him, but never once did the man comment or even so much as flinch.
After the third or so fleeting glance, Leonard gave up on reading his expression. Whether the stony disappointment was engraved there permanently after years of observing clumsy cadets assault his computer or Len's sim was especially torturous he had no way of knowing.
Never had landing felt like such an accomplishment. The hull damage score was higher than his last run through, but solar winds and electromagnetic interference were things even the best of pilots struggled with. He was a doctor, Leonard reminded himself stoutly, not a pilot. A man could only be good at so many things, he assured himself.
He tried to peek at the PADD, but it was angled in such a way as to shadow the screen. Nothing for it but to wait for his results as before. This once, luck had to be on his side; heaven knew he had taken enough of a beating already to last him a lifetime.
But of course the universe wasn't done playing with its favorite chew toy, not until he stepped out of his simulation to come face-to-face with Jocelyn. She looked at him, raked him from head to toe with an assessing eye and Len couldn't help straightening under her critical gaze, correcting his posture and squaring his shoulders.
She was immaculately decked out and coiffed as always- suddenly his cadet reds felt awfully inadequate and he had to resist the temptation to smooth out his jacket and run a guilty hand through his hair to tame the fly-away locks sticking up after he had grabbed and yanked at them one too many times.
Apparently he passed muster, because Jocelyn shifted down the bench an inch or so, nodding to the place beside her. Was he a dog that he was supposed to bound over to her, eager to please and glad for the treat? He scowled, seriously considering the idea of telling her to get bent on this of all days.
Then far more important questions flooded his thoughts, starting with "Where's Jo?"
"Outside on the grass." Jocelyn drew a breath, "I went out to check on her a minute ago. It looks like she found your friend."
Leonard blinked, impressed against his will. Any other day Jocelyn would have clamped her jaws shut rather than tell him anything more than what he had asked. Meaning she was here for more than just another circular argument.
Reluctantly, hopefully, he took the empty spot beside her.
She wouldn't look at him, staring severely across the hall at the plaques mounted there as though she could read the inscribed words. Leonard let her play at it for a moment or two- last time they had spoken, he had come as a beggar. Let her have a taste of her own medicine for once.
"I meant it when I said I was frightened." Joss snapped, crossing her legs. "I hadn't seen you that angry before and I wasn't sure what you were going to do."
"You knew I wasn't going to hurt Jo or I never would have got her out of the house. Are we just going to rehash this?" Leonard growled, what little self-possession he had cobbled together already straining in the face of her words.
"You ran off to Starfleet as soon as the cards weren't in your favor-"
"You took everything I had, Joss. Where the hell was I s'posed to go? What else was I gonna do?" He turned to glare at her, but she continued through gritted teeth as though he hadn't spoken.
"And now you come back years later to stir up a fight you already lost. Why?"
"Because I am sick of you throwin' every possible obstacle in my way. I just want to see my little girl, Joss. It's as simple as that. How the hell does it hurt you?"
Jocelyn smiled bitterly, "If you had given this much of a damn about me, we would not be here now."
"Bullshit. I did everything I could to make us work-" None of it mattered, but here they were digging up old grudges like they were only born yesterday.
"I'm not havin' this fight again." He finished, drawing a deep breath, "So unless you have something else, we can discuss this through our reps."
Jocelyn's head tilted in predatory consideration; she had always looked just like that before she said something that hamstrung him-
"You'll be leaving soon, for months and years at a time. I'll have to take Joanna home every time, and she'll say she understands but really she'll wonder why the hell her daddy doesn't come home more often if he loves her so much. You're casting me as the villain again."
"Didn't take much doing on my part last time." Damn. He never could keep his tongue away from the easy barbs. Fortunately Jocelyn didn't rise to the bait again.
"She'll never adjust, spending shore leave with you and every other moment with me. I have a good thing now, with Clay."
"Clay Treadway." Len gave a bitter snort, "That's been years."
"He's divorced now too. We reconnected earlier this year."
For once Leonard bit down on the obvious response. Surprisingly, he saw Jocelyn relax a little from the corner of his eye, apparently already braced for it. He wasn't sure whether to be proud of that or ashamed so he settled for a strange hybrid of the two.
"He's trying to reach out to Joanna, but she won't have anything to do with him. Not until you say she can."
It wasn't Clay that had wrecked his marriage, Leonard didn't give a damn about the man one way or the other. He tried to phrase it a bit more diplomatically, but Jocelyn knew him well. "I've got nothing against him. He's not the one-"
Another bite. Harder this time until he could taste the tang of iron in his mouth.
"You say you're worried about Joanna and you want to be a part of her life…I want you to spend time with Clay."
"The hell you say." Leonard barked, more surprised than resistant.
"When you're gone, he's going to be a very significant part of her life, and you're casting a shadow over any relationship he might have with her."
"Then you're agreeing?" He nearly choked on the lump in his throat, eyes stinging with tears he would sooner die than have her see. It couldn't be this easy, it couldn't; not after all the shit he had already gone through.
Easy. He had only had to lose his family and career, relocate halfway across a continent, sign his life away, drink himself into a years-long stupor and finally break down enough to admit he needed help.
The simplest thing he had ever done, obviously.
Jocelyn shrugged, a gesture so foreign to her Leonard wasn't sure he had seen it. "You're right. She's going to hate me otherwise, and whatever you think I love her too much to see that."
She turned, and for the first time Leonard could see a fierceness in her eyes that instantly set him on the alert, nothing like her usual cool, implacable demeanor. "Joanna was the one good thing to come out of our marriage. I want her safe, I want her happy, and she will be both with me while you're off serving your career like you've always done. So take her for a week or two. Hell, take a whole summer, and let's agree that everything we do is in her best interest."
Instinctively, Leonard reached out a hand to shake on it before remembering that Jocelyn had always looked down on the custom somewhat. The wind could have blown him over like a feather when she reached out to clamp his hand in a death-grip, jaw set and eyes steady like it was the bravest thing she'd ever had to do.
If he had married this woman, Leonard thought perhaps they could have made it work despite everything. Thinking of the man outside that had broken his word and was even now waiting to hear all about Bones' latest fuck-up while he played with his partner's child, Leonard was glad it hadn't worked.
For the first time he began to consider that perhaps fate wasn't the heartless taskmistress he had always assumed. Perhaps she had just pulled and snipped the strings to put him in a position where he could see what a lucky bastard he was.
He spotted Jim and Jo as he bounded down the stairs, a spring in his step and a grin slathered all over his face. Neither spotted him at first, too busy playing with something they pushed to their mouths.
A sharp, high-pitched whistle reached his ears over the din as he drew closer, Jim grinning triumphantly as he tickled Jo's nose with a blade of grass. She batted it away, raising her own to her mouth… silence this time, and her face was pink enough to tell him she had been trying for awhile.
Jim spotted him then, raising a hand in greeting then lowering it just as quickly when Leonard gestured to him not to give him away. How they had worked out so many codes in such a short time he wasn't sure, but Uhura would probably have a theory or two if he asked.
Not that he ever would.
He crept up behind Jo, still kneeling in the grass casting about for a better blade as she loudly argued it hadn't been her fault. Jim's eyes were leaking tears of mirth that he subtly thumbed away whenever she wasn't looking.
Good. Then she wouldn't mind if her dad came to the rescue.
He looped his arms about her waist and lifted her into the air, chuckling when she began to kick and thrash and squeal- uniform be damned. She clung to his arms, stretching her legs out until the tips of her toes found the ground again.
"Dad!" Laughter and exasperation mixed with the word, and it was the best sound Leonard had heard since he couldn't remember when.
"What are you up to, darlin'?"
She stopped struggling, tilting her head back to grin up at him. "Whistling."
"Sounds to me like Jim was the only one whistling."
"My grass was broke."
"Hm." Leonard snatched the blade from her hand with a devilish smirk, trying it for himself- as loud and crisp as Jim's. "Look at that, I fixed it."
"'S your job, you're a doctor." Joanna huffed, unwilling to admit defeat.
"You want to try it now?" He set her down, offering the grass to her with mock solemnity.
"No, now it has your slobber all over it."
Jim crowed with delight, ripping up patches of grass inadvertently as he writhed.
"Glad to be of service." Leonard rolled his eyes, but the effect was entirely lost when he was still grinning like a lunatic.
Joanna didn't let them savor the moment too long, glancing anxiously in the direction of the main building. "Did you talk to Mom?"
"We have Christmas this year." Leonard said by way of answer, pulling her into another hug when she squealed and bounced. He could tell her later that it came with the condition they spend Christmas morning with Joss and Clay. A small enough sacrifice to make, and he hoped by then he'd know Clay well enough they could chat through any uncomfortable silences.
Jocelyn swore Christmas breakfast wouldn't devolve into open warfare, but Leonard knew all the best intentions in the world couldn't save it unless they learned not to go for each other's soft underbellies at every opportunity.
Remembering what Jocelyn had threatened him with not too long ago, Leonard wasn't sure he was going to be the one having the hardest time keeping the bargain. For now, though, the disaster was averted and he was actively trying to bury the memory. Both of them.
She paused, and Leonard knew what the next words out of her mouth were going to be before she even drew breath: "What about Jim?"
"You have a lovely home, Ms. Darnell. Thank you for the hot cocoa. Do I detect a subtle hint of arsenic?"
"Jim."
"I just brought my tricorder along to show Jo how it works. See? This is how we scan for biohazards-"
"Jim. You don't have to come for Christmas if you don't want to." Leonard leaned against the door jamb, thoroughly enjoying the sight of Jim's bare chest as he combed his hair.
"Stay behind and leave you in the dragon's lair? I don't think so." Jim's eyes met his in the mirror, a wicked flash of humor in them, tempered with genuine concern. "You sure this is going to be alright?"
"We still have a few months to prepare." Bones sighed, "Between the two of us, I think we can prevent a diplomatic incident as long as you remember this is a peace-keeping mission."
"Better keep out of the eggnog, Bones. You're a mean drunk."
"Says the man preparing for a disciplinary hearing after knocking out a fellow cadet."
"You're just jealous because I beat you to the punch." Jim waggled his brows, clearly impressed with his own pun. Leonard cracked a smile, only a small one, and only because Jim was going to be crucified for more than just decking Gary Mitchell unless he was sorely mistaken.
A two second brawl between cadets wasn't a matter for tribunal. Cheating, however, was an ugly word mentioned at least a half-dozen times in the code of conduct at least by implication. Leonard was sure the pointy-eared bastard had something to say about that- probably several hundred all neatly categorized by subsection.
He wasn't going to burst Jim's bubble though, not while he was preening. This euphoric mood would evaporate on contact with his sworn nemesis, Leonard was certain. Jim had never liked anyone calling his methods into question, especially when they had a valid point.
So he marched with Jim down the interminable hallways and corridors- half victory march, half walk of shame- and took his place in the front row next to Uhura, who was pointedly not looking in Spock's direction. Even Gaila appeared somber, fingers twitching with the need to drum a nervous tattoo, barely restrained.
If he could have had a holo of the look on Jim's face the moment they read the accusations, Leonard would have mounted it proudly on his desk for all the world to see. If he could have had another of the victorious smirk Spock shot at Jim as the two of them faced off across the room, he would have hung it right next to the first and treasured them for a lifetime.
As it was, the alert sounded just as the proceeding was heating up, and Bones found himself thrown face-first into hell once more.
Only this time, he wasn't alone.