Tell the world I'm alive,

Tell the world I'll survive...

—Les Friction, Who Will Save You Now.

After the devastating effects of the Arcadia's attack and subsequent retreat of all enemy ships, the remaining officers in charge launched a full recovery and rescue process. Mangled vessels and twisted wreckage littered the former battlefield; not a single ship in the first offensive line had escaped.

There was a great concern for Admiral Van Buren and his crew. Following the attack, all communications from the Helios had ceased. The Juggernaut, under the command of Captain Burke, had led the search for Admiral Van Buren. It took almost two hours to locate the Helios as many ships were indistinguishable and had been widely scattered.

Eventually they found it floating several kilometers beyond the battlefield perimeter with shards of debris penetrating the hull. Largely, the ship was intact but when they boarded they found the ship's communications were damaged and the engines destroyed by fire.

Many wounded lined the corridors, as there was no room left in the ship's sickbay for all of them. Only those in critical condition lay on the narrow beds mostly made of officers and engineers. Each one was burned, either bloodied or swathed in bandages. Groans of pain often intermingled with the blipping of monitors as the doctor and nurses worked frantically to keep them all alive.

"The bridge and engine room got hit the worst," the thin doctor explained to Burke as he frantically worked to close a wound on a lieutenant's arm that had been hemorrhaging. "Up until now we haven't had a single ranking officer capable of assuming command. We're running on low supplies, and we don't have enough equipment to monitor these peoples' conditions."

"What of Admiral Van Buren?" Burke questioned hastily, almost wanting to berate the man as he finished with the young officer then moved to the next bed.

"Over there in the corner." The doctor pointed to a bed against the wall. "I did all I could, but he's still critical, we need to get him to a better facility right away."

Burke then abandoned the doctor and limped to the bed directed to him where he found the heavily bandaged admiral lying with a respirator over his mouth and nose. His forehead was damp with sweat and a large gash sealed with butterfly stitches. Several flash burns mottled his right cheek as well. Burke himself recognized them as wounds one would typically receive from exploding display panels.

"Hey, Admiral Van Buren? Can you hear me?" He watched as Loan's closed eyelids flickered and he lightly moaned in response.

Little did he know that the admiral was slightly delirious from a massive amount of blood loss and fever. Under his bandages, Loan had many deep gashes and a puncture wound that went straight through his abdomen and had sliced his liver. Under the circumstances, his internal injuries were tended to, but the doctor feared he was becoming septic. Loan needed further medical care and a round of strong antibiotics that the ship did not have available. Many of their supplies had been damaged during the battle or had been used already.

"Don't worry sir; we're going to get you out of here." Burke then turned and yelled for several of his own men to come and move the admiral to the Juggernaut.

"Burke," Loan groaned from beneath his mask. "We've got to—the Arcadia, where's Harlock?"

"Harlock's gone, sir. He escaped along with the rest of the pirate fleet after the attack," he explained calmly. "We're going to find him though; we've got a major fleet patrolling every sector. We'll find him," Burke reassured, but the admiral was suddenly overcome with delirium.

"Riley was out there, go check on the status of his ship—" A pained groan stopped Loan as he was transferred to a gurney.

"Captain Riley died years ago," Burke tried to explain to his superior. "He's not out there."

"Anina should be in school, she can't miss, and she's so far behind." Loan continued to mutter as he seemed to slip in and out of consciousness at any given time.

Memories that he tried desperately to forget flooded his mind. Bits and pieces played in rapid succession from his miserable days in primary school to the academy, to his lonely time as a junior officer and advancement to Lieutenant before assignment to colony C7-XY. His first meeting with Grant Riley led to an invitation for drinks and a round of cards. He was the very first friend Loan ever had.

Loan remembered the little orphan Anina always hung around the base's hangar where she would ask a million questions and catch lizards outside. There would always be hand drawn pictures hung outside his office door and sometimes-wilted flowers on his desk. She wormed her way into his heart until there was no question he would adopt her.

For nearly a year, he was a father and had a real friend. That was truly the best time of his life. Then in one instant, it was all gone.

Loan shouted and pulled himself up, surprising all those who started to take him from the infirmary. His stitches broke open and blood seeped through the bandages on his waist. Several hands forced him back down onto the gurney and held him in place as they bound him.

"Loan please! You can't be moving around!" Burke shouted as he held onto the admiral's arm.

As more blood spilled from his body Loan's strength left him. He collapsed against the gurney breathing hard into the respirator. His eyes fluttered shut as his first confrontation with Harlock played in his mind. There was a huge sense of relief when he saw Harlock's form drop on that fateful day. Even when the Arcadia appeared to whisk the dead crewmembers away, he felt no fear. Afterwards when the Federation reviewed the situation and declared Harlock dead there was only an overwhelming sense of relief.

There was a whirlwind of promotions, congratulatory events, balls and parties. His wealth increased greatly, he built his home, but nothing happened in his life that filled the hollowness he felt. Nothing that is, until Adalyn. He had been attracted by her apparent beauty that first night, but then came to see they had similarities. He recognized her general loathing of her peers and remembered feeling the same during his schooling years. She did not quite fit in, but neither did he.

There were countless times he felt like an utter fool around her, he never knew what to say really. Loan always hoped his extravagant gifts would speak for him, to say he knew what it was like to feel out of place. He wanted her to know there were no boundaries; he would do anything for her that whatever she wanted was hers. He had made his own niche in life and wanted her to know there was a place for her there. She would be accepted and loved.

When he came to again, his eyes cracked open to the sight of bright overhead lights and grim faces covered by surgical masks. He did not recognize anyone or the particular room he was in. Almost like a wave that crashed over his body, all his senses seemed to return at once.

Loan felt lightheaded, weak, cold, but most of all, there was searing pain in his abdomen. An oxygen mask was still affixed to his face, and it muffled his groans of pain. The commotion around him only further dampened his voice. He could comprehend the situation he was in from what the doctors were saying, but it was so difficult to focus on anything but the pain.

"—his blood pressure is too low, he needs a transfusion—"

"—he's tested positive for sepsis—"

"—we're going to administer a vasopressin and try to get his breathing leveled—"

"—doctor, his heart rate is dropping—!"

Loan fought to remain conscious but to no avail. He felt helpless and alone; he did not want to die. There was still so much left for him to do; Harlock was still out there, and he needed to find Adalyn. His surroundings became blurry and he no longer felt any pain.

Before blackness overtook him, he swore he'd survive. Nothing was completed and he would again face Harlock. He'd avenge Riley and Anina. He would find Adalyn, and he would see Harlock in a grave. Only then would he be content.

I need you to see,

Nothing can change unless you believe,

I won't let it go,

I'll fight to the end,

and then you will know

who will save you now.

A/N: No, this isn't the end and no, Loan is not going to die. He's gotten too popular and I'm afraid someone would hunt me down if I did kill him off. I'm a wimp so please don't hurt me : ( I'm breaking the story into two parts since the next half takes place nearly two years after this. So if you like this story please be on the look out for the second half called Invictus: Sons of War. Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it so far!